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  • What would you do?

    My Psychology class just had a discussion on this.

    This is the scenerio:

    You've just been offered a chance to have your dream job. Its on the mainland, and the job will pay you unimaginable salary. You have a girlfriend who attends the same college as you, but when you accepted your dream job, you found out that she's pregnant. You really lover her, and the baby was very unexpected. She doesn't want her parents to know about this, because they're paying top dollar for her education at the college, and if she tells them, she thinks that they won't understand why she did this.

    So, you're in a position where you are one plane flight away from your dream job, and the person you really love, pregnant with your first child.

    What would you do?

    *I know that I've been the one to bring "flaming-type" of threads lately, but I just want to see how "mature adults" would take care of this situation.*

    BTW, I wouldn't be in this situation to begin with, because 1) I hate female relationships (they take the time away from my computer and my games) 2) They're nothing but trouble (I have a lengthy family history with these kinds, with people around my age failing them)
    How'd I get so white and nerdy?

  • #2
    Re: What would you do?

    Originally posted by adri1456
    You've just been offered a chance to have your dream job. Its on the mainland, and the job will pay you unimaginable salary.
    I dunno, I can imagine quite a lot of salary.


    You have a girlfriend who attends the same college as you, but when you accepted your dream job, you found out that she's pregnant. You really lover her, and the baby was very unexpected. She doesn't want her parents to know about this, because they're paying top dollar for her education at the college, and if she tells them, she thinks that they won't understand why she did this.
    Uh oh, I feel another abortion thread coming on.


    What would you do?
    It would depend a lot on what she decided to do. Also, is the girlfriend ready to finish college also, or does she still have more schooling to go? And how far along is the pregnancy?


    BTW, I wouldn't be in this situation to begin with, because 1) I hate female relationships (they take the time away from my computer and my games) 2) They're nothing but trouble (I have a lengthy family history with these kinds, with people around my age failing them)
    Um. OK.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: What would you do?

      You don't have to apologize for asking questions, Adrian. At least you are willing to expose your okoleto get some answers!

      First thing is, the "problem" should never have happened in the first place.
      However, since it has happened, what the girlfriend should do is at least confide in her mother. Depending on the girlfriend's moral belief, then the decision would be either to get an abortion, have the baby and give it up for adoption, or have the child and raise it. The really surprising thing is kids often underestimate their parents sometimes. Maybe the mother would be shocked when told initially, but she might eventually come to accept the fact that she was having a grandchild and might even be willing to hanai the child so her daughter could continue with her schooling.

      If the girl opted for the abortion, there would be no problem unless she was underage, in which case she'd still have to get her parent's permission.

      If she put the child up for adoption, she would always have a tinge of regret because she would never know how the child was doing, unless there was some sort of arrangement made for her to remain in her child's life.

      It would be tough to be a single mother in any case. So unless she married the boyfriend, she would have to rely on help from friends and family anyway. And I think people who have "shotgun" weddings aren't starting out married life in the best way either (I am the product of one of those weddings). And how resentful would the boyfriend be about having to become responsible for a family? If she opts to raise the child, then the boyfriend has a financial obligation to take care of that child.

      This is a tough, ethical dilemma that many young people who don't take precautions to prevent the pregnancy in the first place face today.

      Miulang
      "Americans believe in three freedoms. Freedom of speech; freedom of religion; and the freedom to deny the other two to folks they don`t like.” --Mark Twain

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: What would you do?

        You've bundled several different choices together, and they're not necessarily tied to each other.

        The pregnancy: abort, adopt, or keep?

        The relationship: stay together, or break up?

        Her schooling: drop out, finish here, or finish elsewhere?

        Location: you both stay, you go and she stays, you stay and she goes (where?), or you both go?

        The job: take it, or not?

        You could actually have any number of permutations of these options.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: What would you do?

          Eh Adrian, if you use the feedback you get from us in a term paper or something, you going give us all footnotes, or what?

          Miulang
          "Americans believe in three freedoms. Freedom of speech; freedom of religion; and the freedom to deny the other two to folks they don`t like.” --Mark Twain

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: What would you do?

            Originally posted by Glen Miyashiro
            You could actually have any number of permutations of these options.
            Sounds more to me like the psychology instructor needed a break.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: What would you do?

              You had to ask while I was surfing this board today...

              First of all dream jobs are just that, dreams. It looks good going in but once situated, it's just another job.

              Second, what's more important, your children or your job? If you have to stop and ponder, I think you better re-evaluate your priorities.

              Third, don't let your career run your life because at retirement, it's over and you're not. Your legacy continues long after you've become fertilizer with your children and their children.

              Money isn't everything (but it helps...I know) but I've seen happier poor families than rich paranoid ones.

              Regarding the options, I assume the pregnant girlfriend and refusing the dream job is the opposing choice other than leaving her and your child within to persue your career?

              If that's the scenerio then leaving her for money is definately Jerk material. End of story.
              Life is what you make of it...so please read the instructions carefully.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: What would you do?

                How about taking the pregnant girlfriend with you to the new job, where she can finish her degree (paid for by your unimaginable new salary) and you all live happily ever after?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: What would you do?

                  On the other hand, it could get ugly. She decides to abort the pregnancy, you get mad because you wanted her to keep it, you break up, she drops out of school, her parents disown her, and in disgust you fly away to your dream job but in six months they fire you and you're left with nothing.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: What would you do?

                    Now that's a great idea! Good one Glen!! High fives.

                    You take care of your moral responsibilities and get paid well enough to do it. Plus you take the burden off the girlfriend's parents to foot her college education. Win win in my book.

                    But will the girl want to leave her current situation? Does she want to form a deeper relationship (marriage or shacking up), Does she even want the baby? If the answers to those questions is a resounding yes then no problem.

                    But if she wants to be a single parent, or if she wants an abortion, well that's not a question left to a psychology class but more to a interpersonal communications class where emotions can be analyzed more appropriately. Tell your Psychology teacher that this is the wrong forum to debate this personal dillemma.

                    Now as to what kind of behavior wil be exhibited based on the external stimuli caused by whatever pharmacological event that took place in the persons brain, now that can be justified as psych 101 material.
                    Life is what you make of it...so please read the instructions carefully.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: What would you do?

                      Eh Glen slow down. Okay the second scenerio you painted was the worst case scenerio I take it. Sounds like Dr. Phil stuff.

                      Actually I had a cousin that took the second. And boy my uncle and auntie are so disappointed. The really sad part is that the younger sister did the same thing.
                      Life is what you make of it...so please read the instructions carefully.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: What would you do?

                        Originally posted by Miulang
                        Eh Adrian, if you use the feedback you get from us in a term paper or something, you going give us all footnotes, or what?

                        Miulang
                        No, this is just a first day Ice breaker to see if we could think about this and provide a solution.

                        Prevention is the key, but if I was in that position, then I'd take care of her first. "A once in a lifetime opportunity only comes twice a lifetime" is the quote I live by, and when I have money, I go crazy (buying stupid little things that I don't need, throwing away all of my current posessions and buying new "improved" ones) and if I did commit myself to someone, then I'd take care of her first. And as they say "Don't do the crime, if you can't do the time". If I slept with her and got her pregnant, then why am I attending an expensive school? Why don't I screw up my life further by dropping out, get a low paying job at Mcdonalds and try to raise my child to the person I could of been, but didn't because I make one mistake?

                        And it looks like local people think alike, as some of your responses are what some of my classmates responded with.
                        How'd I get so white and nerdy?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: What would you do?

                          I don't see any dilema here, other than the timing of the girl friend's college education.

                          Simply put take the job, take the girl and go. If you want to be honest with her folks tell the truth now and get married and then leave for the new job.

                          I am also assuming that the girl friend loves you just as well and one of the things that was discussed was the possibilty of having kids. If so then these events was going to happen anyway just that the timing is more compressed that it ought to be.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: What would you do?

                            ^ ditto on that assuming the girl loves me.. so I'd stay.

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