Is marriage endangered?

[AbsolutChaos]

Do you think marriage is doomed?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8017908/site/newsweek/?GT1=6657

[Glen Miyashiro]

Certainly not. Marriage is alive and well. At least, mine is!

But marriage isn't an inevitable event in your life any more either; you gotta want it. And even then, it's not guaranteed to be until death do you part, either.

[1stwahine]

NA NA hey, hey kiss him goodbye...

Marriage is sacred. Two people who love, respect and treasure each other that they would die for them...ok, to a certen degree. For me, I met my late husband of twenty years (three kids) on a friday and married him on Monday. He needed his green card, my girlfriends and I needed money to pay for our penthouse in Salt Lake. He didn't give me any. It was a marriage ment to be.

He became my best friend, confidant, lover, patient, etc. till the day he died. Soon my son will be taking his wedding vows and celebrating with friends and family. At first, I hated the thought of him marrying his beloved...now, I wish them well and make it a point to be a good mother-inlaw and not the one from hell. To see him in love and being so happy is all that matters. Despite the obsticles that lies ahead, I know they will make it. I know in my heart.

Marriages will increase and survive. Our society is a family oriented one. Who knows, I may get married again someday...nah, joke! ;)

Auntie Lynn aka Auntie Pupule

[helen]

Do you think marriage is doomed?
I don't think so but then again I am no expert on the matter. Also I fail to see the reason why one town some place in the world is going to set the pattern for others to follow.

[AbsolutChaos]

Also I fail to see the reason why one town some place in the world is going to set the pattern for others to follow.


Perhaps the better question is whether marriage as a life-long institution will endure. There have been studies done showing that arranged marriages last longer, have fewer divorces, and lead to further happiness, with a growth of love between husband and wife once children are born, since now the couple has more in common. On the other hand, these same studies indicate that "love matches" tend to have much higher divorce rates, with children being the final reason that the love deteriorates to a point of no return (reality intruding on the "romance" aspect of a marriage).

With the Westernized ideal of "true love" entering more into the the picture around the world, and therefore with less family pressure to marry the "right person from the right family," is marriage eventually going to be seen as another phase of life, something short-term? Is there going to be a continuous cycle, where the idea of marriage becomes passe, only to come back into vogue (kinda like when there was a resurgence of marriage rates after a period of "free love" and living together" in previous decades or when religion sweeps more into the foreground in politics?)

[Glen Miyashiro]

It was a lot easier to stay married for life back in the days when you didn't live past 45 or so. :rolleyes:

[jdub]

I've never been married, but I can say that love alone is not enough to make it work.

[molokai]

I been married 6 years. To me, mentally, being married is more "secure" than being single and "living in sin" as my mother says.

First, if my husband like mess around wit' somebody else, I can take his money. :) nah nah, seriously, I don't think marriage is any more in trouble now that I've read the article than it was before I read the article. Marriage is sacred, I agree, but to what degree will someone see its sacredness, who just wants to cheat? (did that make sense?) What I mean is, if I don't think it's sacred, and you do, who are you to tell me it is?

Heck, I don't know what I'm saying. I love my husband. Our marriage is strong. Besides, my brother is still young yet. Why would I want him raising my kids?

[Menehune Man]

Having survived a failed first marriage and my second marriage is going strong at 13 years now, I feel people will always try or at least want to get married. Creating a true partnership is a main factor that's missing in alot of marriages. Of course it's 2 people, but if they're not willing to work together it won't thrive or survive. Long ago my first wife and I actually lived in a '57 VW campervan for almost 2 years and couldn't have been closer or more in love. Then fast forward 4 years, we're living in a house in Berkeley, own a 31' Sailboat, a Jaguar and most importantly a beautiful healthy girl and my wife was no longer satisfied. So she left. We need to follow through on our promise of "Till death do us part". I don't want to write a book here so that's it for now.

[MadAzza]

Gays destroyed my marriage.

[Glen Miyashiro]

Gays destroyed my marriage.Hot damn, finally PROOF POSITIVE that those damn gay boys are corroding the very fabric of our society.

What's next -- human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria?!

Sadly, I suspect it's necessary to insert this: :D

[alohabear]

I think it's doomed if people forget what marriage is about. Not one culture on the planet allows marriage between the same sex. IMO marriage is only between a man and a woman. If anyone on this board can show me proof of a culture that allows same sex marriage it will be a first to me( i'm not talking about a law, like in canada...but a practice).

[Glen Miyashiro]

I think it's doomed if people forget what marriage is about. Not one culture on the planet allows marriage between the same sex. IMO marriage is only between a man and a woman. If anyone on this board can show me proof of a culture that allows same sex marriage it will be a first to me( i'm not talking about a law, like in canada...but a practice).If something is legal, doesn't that mean that it's allowed? Same sex marriage is legal in the Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, and the state of Massachusetts already, and Canada pretty soon. Don't those count? I'm not sure exactly what distinction you're trying to make here between "law" and "practice".

[kimo55]

The concept is not clearly understood by many.
Too much of the population rush to the altar. They marry for the wrong reasons. they marry too young. Children having children. Idiots who have no business getting married and having kids. and even the concept that a marriage "failed"... what does that mean? IF two people love each other, and the union is good for a while and they drift apart, that marriage was a success for the time being. But if one has an unrealistic perspective and takes these contemporary vows literally...
"oh damn we weren't together until death us do part! we are divorcing! we failed" then a failed marriage it is. It ain't a failure in my eyes, if two people learned and grew and now, even tho they may be apart, they are wiser and more of a loving person with more patience and greater capacity of loving and sharing.

[Miulang]

There's a difference between a marriage and a legal union. A marriage is blessed by a church, but has no legal standing. A legal union is one which has been acknowledged by the state as a kind of binding contract (i.e., you go to City Hall and get a license, but you don't have to be married in a church for the union to be a legal one). By the same token, no minister would marry a couple unless they had a marriage license and call it a wedding. It might be called a "commitment service" but it wouldn't be called a wedding.

Gays can have legal unions, where such ceremonies are recognized by a state, but they can only be married in religions which recognize gay wedding ceremonies.

Seems to me that if more people took the "legal union" part of their wedding vows more seriously, they wouldn't enter into holy matrimony quite so quickly.

Miulang

[Menehune Man]

The concept is not clearly understood by many.
Too much of the population rush to the altar. They marry for the wrong reasons. they marry too young. Children having children. Idiots who have no business getting married and having kids. and even the concept that a marriage "failed"... what does that mean? IF two people love each other, and the union is good for a while and they drift apart, that marriage was a success for the time being. But if one has an unrealistic perspective and takes these contemporary vows literally...
"oh damn we weren't together until death us do part! we are divorcing! we failed" then a failed marriage it is. It ain't a failure in my eyes, if two people learned and grew and now, even tho they may be apart, they are wiser and more of a loving person with more patience and greater capacity of loving and sharing.
In the definition of marriage... is it a vow for life? Because to me there's a difference between a dating relationship, which can be a success even through a breakup for the same reasons stated above, while a marriage to me can not be deemed a success if it doesn't "succeed" in remaining a marriage. There are lifelong marriages where they got married very young or even some idiots marriages last. Don't say those words... for better or worse, in health and sickness, etc. unless you mean it. Amen.

[MadAzza]

Hot damn, finally PROOF POSITIVE that those damn gay boys are corroding the very fabric of our society.

What's next -- human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria?!

Sadly, I suspect it's necessary to insert this: :D

Yes, as I probably should have added one, as well. Every time the so-called "traditional marriage" subject comes up, I feel like printing up a bunch of "Gays Ruined My Marriage" bumper stickers. Some people probably would take it seriously.

Gotta go find a human to sacrifice now ...

[jdub]

marriage is just a word...there are people, gay or straight, who stay together, and those, gay or straight, who don't...the california supreme court just ruled in favor of same sex unions, but that doesn't mean they can be "married"...it's all just words and self-important rhetoric to decry "gay marriage"...

[helen]

Gays destroyed my marriage.
I am going to guess that your former spouse ran off with someone who was the same gender as your former spouse?

[pzarquon]

If you're going to use "practice" and "historical precedent" to define what is "right," then polygamy should be A-OK!

I agree with those who say that the primary problem is that the government is in the marriage business. The government should only be concerned with the legal/civil angle -- and if two people of sound mind of whatever body want to form a union with specific rights and responsibilities, so be it.

Individual churches, meanwhile, can play Marriage Club(tm) all they like. If the Church of Zaphod wants to say two men can marry, good for them. If the Church of Closedminded Morons wants to say only one man and one woman from the same race and financial class with names that start with the same letter can are married, well, knock yourselves out!

Same sex marriage poses far less of a threat to the sentimental and romatic value of the word "marriage" than heterosexual marriages. A million same-sex marriages in Canada, I'd wager, has screwed up far fewer brains than has Britney whatevers' little wedding games in Vegas.

I'm reminded of a comedian's line, "Let gays marry... they should be as miserable as the rest of us!" :p

[MadAzza]

I am going to guess that your former spouse ran off with someone who was the same gender as your former spouse?

Yeah, my husband ran off with a gang of gay recruiters. They said if he'd join up, they'd give him free checking, a gold pen AND a toaster.

Either that, or I was making fun of the "save traditional marriage" crowd.

[pzarquon]

A friend's girlfriend left him to play for the other team. I was always strangely jealous of that... Sure is a great save for those dead spots in small talk!

[kimo55]

Yeah, my husband ran off with a gang of gay recruiters. They said if he'd join up, they'd give him free checking, a gold pen AND a toaster.



damn.
No one ever offered ME toaster.

[helen]

Yeah, my husband ran off with a gang of gay recruiters.
So if your (former) husband ran off with another woman instead would you be as willing to say that hetrosexuals destoryed your marriage?

[MadAzza]

So if your (former) husband ran off with another woman instead would you be as willing to say that hetrosexuals destoryed your marriage?

Helen. It was a JOKE, as I indicated with my "smiley" comment above, and with my followup comments (to which you responded) making it perfectly clear.

Nobody destroyed my marriage.

Please allow me to make this point again:

Nobody can threaten anyone's marriage except the people within it. Gays do not threaten heterosexuals' marriages.

Gays did not destroy my marriage. It was a joke, an editorial hit-and-run about "traditional" marriage, intended to be taken with humor.

It. Was. A. Joke.

My ex didn't really get a toaster for converting. (He got a car. Oops, there I go again!)

Hope this helps.

[kimo55]

My ex didn't really get a toaster for converting. (He got a car.


...think I saw him in that car cruising the gay district.

[Menehune Man]

Everyone has different beliefs. One thing I think that all could agree with and it was previously written in this thread is that no one outside a marriage can "disrupt" it unless invited. Everyone has opinions on traditional, gay or any other type of marriage, mine is let all who want to go for it. If it's a question of it being a sin, then only God can deal with that anyway. Whether or not I agree with something is irellevent since I'm not to judge my brother. Please don't think that I feel I never judge, I know better and am not perfect.

[Glen Miyashiro]

You see? It's started. :p

A warning to my Yankee Friends.

Last night, Canada "legalized" same sex marriage. I use the quotes because it was already legal, but now the Federal Government has passed a law.

Since then, the social fabric of Canada has been torn apart. Every single person in Toronto, our largest city, is participating in a massive gay orgy. They've already ran out of batteries, chocolate (twice) and whipped cream (they sent the Blue Jays to Chicago to get more - you don't have to give them back). 101% of our marriages have broken down. We have been hit with no less then 15 Biblical plauges. I only thought there were 10 myself - but that one with chili cheese dogs is really nasty. And Richard Simmons - who knew?

Rabid moose are roaming the streets, trying to violate people with antlers. Maple Syrup is the lube of choice. Paul Martin and Stephen Harper, our Prime Minister and Opposition Leader, have revealed themselves to be leather fetishes. They're currently exercising their party whips with gleeful abandon.

Our stop lights don't work, our tv channels are off the air and the radio plays nothing but Cher. God Himself appeared over Ottawa - our capital - slapped His Holy Forehead and said "What the fuck, you hoosers?"

Jesus is content to merely run around in a Speedo, snapping people with a wet towel.

Bugger's got really good aim too . . .

Oh, shit. Gotta go. Looks like the local cops found a tribe of wandering First Nations people (Native Americans to you) and some construction workers and want to talk about a sing along and my secret desire to be a leather wearing biker.

Ta ta.

(from uncut_diamond (http://www.livejournal.com/users/uncut_diamond/158646.html) )

[Pedro]

Now back to the original topic. Sory don't mean to be rude, or intrude. what I read from what everybody said was very interesting and I totally agree that no matter what race or gender we should be aloud to get married or a licensed Union if that is our will. Anything to be happy.

I think that in some ways marriage is endangered and some ways not. Before Men use to be dominating they brought home the bread and butter and made all the decisions based on the marriage, and basically when they got home from work they expected their woman to cook, clean and do everything in the home. Back then men approached the women on the dance floor not the other way around. Now day's Women have evolved and are more independent in their decisions and they don't just stay home and cook and clean No, their out there with the men making money for themselves as well being Independant on their own and they want more out of life than being a stay at home wife so by that matter marriage has evolved. But it isn't the reason why marriages fail or succeed.

Sometime's I think it maybe the money issue is why marriages fail but I have some friends who barely make enough to make ends meet that are married and been married for a while. Than I think it's the fact that people are getting married too young. I have a friend who got married at 19 because he got his girlfriend pregnant and after a year they got a divorce.


Truthfuly I am not married and I think I will wait on that for a while until I feel I need to settle down, for now I am too restless and I like the idea of being single and not tied up, but I do want to settle down one day, just not now.

[newroots]

my close minded theory about marriage is ... temptation for divorce. since its there people would be tempted to take the easy way out. they probably expect a fairy tale dopemine filled kind of love. but like how jesus loved us , we MuSt love the same. theres alot of suffering involved. not just being happy :D society today hates suffering

[Pedro]

my close minded theory about marriage is ... temptation for divorce. since its there people would be tempted to take the easy way out. they probably expect a fairy tale dopemine filled kind of love. but like how jesus loved us , we MuSt love the same. theres alot of suffering involved. not just being happy :D society today hates suffering


Hello newroots. Wow you have a Violent screen next to your name. Is it from a movie? Just wondering.

With all things in mind their is happiness but it comes with a price. My veiws on Marriage and why I won't get married anytime soon: Can you sacrifice your way of living a single life with no obstacles and attachment for marriage and raising a familly? I guess what I am saying is; you have to be willing to give up something, to gain something and their is no easy way, so that's why theirs temptation and Divorce. A part of having a familly and being married is having the patience and perseverance to go thru the struggle and coming out of it with a piece of mind that it is going to work, and working with struggle day by day. Who am I speaking I am no marriage counselor, but those are my theories. :)