Bestsellers that suck

[Pua'i Mana'o]

Provacative title aside, which books moved the world, but made you go "hmmn?"

[kimo55]

uh, would you please rephrase the question?

[Pua'i Mana'o]

uh, would you please rephrase the question?

Do I have to?

When I was in 6th grade, the book "Illusions" by Bach was quite the rage. Many of my classmates would ooooh and ah over how profound the ideas were, the clever graphic of the diary pages, to enhance the Illusion™. My first read-through left me with a grand first impression, but I couldn't get into it the way others around me did. Over the years, I would take further stabs at rereading it, to see if I could capture the essence which clearly eluded me. In fact, a paperback copy of that insipid little book still sits on my shelf, and one day, after reading it again, I am either going to 1)love it or 2)give it away.

[kimo55]

Oh that tome with a seagull by some name like johnathan livinston?
dat da one?

I luvvved it for the first few pages. Then the whole damned world fell for it. Then I lined my birdcage with it's pages.

My bird showed his love for it too.

[kimo55]

uh, would you please rephrase the question?


Do I have to?


No. but it would be fun to see if you could.

[scrivener]

This list could go on forever.
Unfortunately, it probably will.

I'm a worshipping Christian, and even I can barely stomach Tim LaHaye's and Jerry B. Jenkins's Left Behind series.

It was a wonderful movie (seriously), but The Bridges of Madison County is nearly undreadable.

Most people don't know it unless they read library journals, but one of the best-selling writers of the nineties was R.L. Stine, the author of the Goosebumps books. I can totally see what the appeal was for the tweeners who loved them, but they weren't very good.

I'll probably draw a few flames for this, but The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom, a sportswriter I admire, is nearly impossible for me to get through.

[Pua'i Mana'o]

Oh that tome with a seagull by some name like johnathan livinston?
dat da one?

I luvvved it for the first few pages. Then the whole damned world fell for it. Then I lined my birdcage with it's pages.

My bird showed his love for it too.

no, that was Bach's other insipid book. Illusions was the one where the Messiah hung out in Indiana and flew cropdusters.

[scrivener]

When I was in 6th grade, the book "Illusions" by Bach was quite the rage. Many of my classmates would ooooh and ah over how profound the ideas were, the clever graphic of the diary pages, to enhance the Illusion™. My first read-through left me with a grand first impression, but I couldn't get into it the way others around me did. Over the years, I would take further stabs at rereading it, to see if I could capture the essence which clearly eluded me. In fact, a paperback copy of that insipid little book still sits on my shelf, and one day, after reading it again, I am either going to 1)love it or 2)give it away.
Oh, that's a good one for this list. I read it my frosh year of college and first thought it was just wonderful; especially the blue feather and the Mobius strip thing. I wrote a glowing review of it for my expository writing class.

A few years later, I was embarrassed to have liked it so much. Today, I can hardly admit it to anyone. Oh, wait. The Mobius strip is from that other book of Bach's, A Bridge Across Forever, also a book I once loved but now realize is awful.

I think I'll add Jean Auel's Clan of the Cave Bear series, which started off pretty good (the writing wasn't great but the story was terrific), but went totally downhill from there.

[kimo55]

"I'm a worshipping Christian, and even I can barely stomach Tim LaHaye's and Jerry B. Jenkins's Left Behind series."



I like the sequel tome:
"Turning the Other Cheek; the Right Behind"

[Pua'i Mana'o]

This list could go on forever.
Unfortunately, it probably will.

I'm a worshipping Christian, and even I can barely stomach Tim LaHaye's and Jerry B. Jenkins's Left Behind series.

It was a wonderful movie (seriously), but The Bridges of Madison County is nearly undreadable.

Most people don't know it unless they read library journals, but one of the best-selling writers of the nineties was R.L. Stine, the author of the Goosebumps books. I can totally see what the appeal was for the tweeners who loved them, but they weren't very good.

I'll probably draw a few flames for this, but The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom, a sportswriter I admire, is nearly impossible for me to get through.

I need to add this: I recently bought Kipling's "Kim" to read with my son. Oh man, that one is a toughie! First the level of writing is quite high, a fact not in the least bit alleviated by the Indian terms and societal systems mentioned throughout.

CLARIFICATION: Kim does not suck. Its just too hard for my son to wrap around.

Oh, and Left Behind does a disservice to Christianity. Nothing about it furthers post-tribulation theory. And as someone who has deep aloha for Iesu, I find that a bummer for the Christians out there who believe in a tribulative future (yeah, that's a reasonable adjective, no?)

Now, back to books that suck...

[kimo55]

Now, back to books that suck...


remember that one a while back?
it really was a book:
"Suck or Blow:
The Dilemma of the Hoe"

by
Velvet Jones.


really.

[Pua'i Mana'o]

Oh, that's a good one for this list. I read it my frosh year of college and first thought it was just wonderful; especially the blue feather and the Mobius strip thing. I wrote a glowing review of it for my expository writing class.

A few years later, I was embarrassed to have liked it so much. Today, I can hardly admit it to anyone. Oh, wait. The Mobius strip is from that other book of Bach's, A Bridge Across Forever, also a book I once loved but now realize is awful.

I think I'll add Jean Auel's Clan of the Cave Bear series, which started off pretty good (the writing wasn't great but the story was terrific), but went totally downhill from there.

We need to identify this sub-genre: Sucked After the First Impression.

And, to join you in the SAFI fire: Mists of Avalon.

I loved, Loved, LOVED the premise. The writing was well-done and I thought the book did a great fresh take on Aurthurian legend. I thought about it for years, until that fateful day when I procured a used copy and upon reading it, wondered WTF??

[Pua'i Mana'o]

remember that one a while back?
it really was a book:
"Suck or Blow:
The Dilemma of the Hoe"

by
Velvet Jones.


really.

Ya sure that wasn't Xaviera Hollander? OoooooooOOOOOh! My dad is gonna *kill* you when he finds out you stole that copy from under his bed! He's been looking for it for 30 years! :eek: :eek: :eek:

[MadAzza]

I think I'll add Jean Auel's Clan of the Cave Bear series, which started off pretty good (the writing wasn't great but the story was terrific), but went totally downhill from there.

My sister worked in a bookstore during the 1980s. One day a customer came in and asked, "Do you carry Clan of the Care Bears?"

[Pua'i Mana'o]

My sister worked in a bookstore during the 1980s. One day a customer came in and asked, "Do you carry Clan of the Care Bears?"

oh my, you made me choke on my 10:30 snack....bawahahaha!

brumbrumbmumblefarkingcarebearsruemgrumbleguerrrr. ..

[kimo55]

My sister worked in a bookstore during the 1980s. One day a customer came in and asked, "Do you carry Clan of the Care Bears?"
she replied:
"yea, but only for a few yards. da buggahs heavy azz why."

[Surfingfarmboy]

The Bridges of Madison County is nearly unreadable.

I am not much of a novel reader. My tastes in books are World Almanacs, Rand McNally USA atlases, farming statistics, and other reference manuals.

But I too got carried away in the 1994 "Bridges" hoopla. I was told countless times that I just had to read it. And so I did.

I'm with Scrivener here. I personally found the book, with its implied approval of extra-marital infidelity, absurd.

Thankfully, it was only, give or take, about 200 pages of medium point-size print, and my time commitment to reading it was minimal.

Since my reading of "Bridges", I find myself gun-shy and unwilling to ever again read a "must read" fictional novel.

[Albert]

Almost all of John Grisham's books.

[Pua'i Mana'o]

can I add another one to the SAFI category?

Frank Herbert's Dune. I read that whole series, and never looked at a sandy beach the same since, without thinking of worms and spice. Man! Did that book stretch my brain!

Then I read a spoof on the series, "Doon", and it scarred that fabulous experience and my cynicism could never morph back to appreciation.

Such a dork I was as a teen...

[alohabear]

The DaVinci Code wasn't all people said it was. I found it boring and unbelievable at times.

[Langi]

:confused: How about "The Notebook"?

GREAT movie, but when i ran for the book (mistakenly thinking, "Hey, this was written BEFORE the movie, it'll be even more fabulous than the movie!") it was so wooden. YIKES!

you would've thot it was written after the movie, one of those books.

BUT it's gotten my grumpy grampa (85 now), who was depressed after my Grandma died a few years ago, back into reading and more at peace with their relationship. So what can i say? i'm very grateful for that.

Still, as an author?

i've tried a few other books by the same guy & got the same results. :eek: