Blind Dates.

[Pedro]

Has anyone ever been on a Blind Date? I have many times and they never ended on good terms. One time I dated this one women she said that she was hot sexy and beautifull and when I seen her she was anything but that. I thought "Hey O.K. she's big and rounded I can deal with that, I want see if she is as sweet as she is on the phone." That turned out to be a HUGE DISASTER and not as I expected. She was practicly RUDE to our waitress to everyone around her, while trying to be funny and SARCASTIC. "I was like, so your different in person, RUDE AWAKENING!" I am going out on Friday again, but with someone else any ideas for first dates? :confused:

[Miulang]

Has anyone ever been on a Blind Date? I have many times and they never ended on good terms. One time I dated this one women she said that she was hot sexy and beautifull and when I seen her she was anything but that. I thought "Hey O.K. she's big and rounded I can deal with that, I want see if she is as sweet as she is on the phone." That turned out to be a HUGE DISASTER and not as I expected. She was practicly RUDE to our waitress to everyone around her, while trying to be funny and SARCASTIC. "I was like, so your different in person, RUDE AWAKENING!" I am going out on Friday again, but with someone else any ideas for first dates? :confused:

This might help you get out of a date if it's not going too good...arrange with a friend to call you on your cellphone about an hour or so after your date starts. If you're not liking how it's going, talk calmly to your friend on your phone and pretend like s/he's calling you about some big emergency. Then, if you want to end the date, just make an excuse, like "I'm sorry. I have to go. My bathroom flooded and I have to go take care of the mess." ;)

Another way (too late for this date, but maybe you'll have a better time this Friday :) ) is to make that first date a lunch or for coffee. That way, your exposure to the other person is limited, and if you like each other, you can certainly arrange for another date. Having a first date at night with someone you don't know is never a good idea, IMO, because there are too many expectations.

Miulang

[kimo55]

why not be upfront and not fabricate an obvious lie...

"I am sorry, but I don't think this will work out.
Buh Bye!"

[Miulang]

why not be upfront and not fabricate an obvious lie...

"I am sorry, but I don't think this will work out.
Buh Bye!"
Because maybe some men are more chivalrous than others?

Miulang

[Glen Miyashiro]

I've never had a blind date, but I agree with Kimo on this one. If you used that cell phone tactic, don't you think your date would be able to tell that you're trying to bail? In my book that shows less respect for the other person than just being honest.

[kimo55]

Because maybe some men are more chivalrous than others?

Miulang
it's more chivalrous to assume a lady can handle the truth, and offer it to her, rather than have her intelligence insulted by being handed a lie.
If the one sentence method is too direct, have a discussion about it. But subterfuge, underhanded ploys, games, lies should never be confused with chivalry.

[Miulang]

But you're guys. Women are wired differently. Anyway, I would never go on a first date that was a night time date. I would go for coffee or lunch at the most the first date.

Miulang

[kimo55]

But you're guys. Women are wired differently.
Miulang
wow. Miu. i am surprised. you are telling us ALL women want to see and hear some fake, badly acted, ridiculous lie thrown at them rather than have the man tell them what is going on in THEIR own mind. This teaches people to lie and not communicate. I don't believe in teaching people to lie, or promulgating the bad habit.

human beings, regardless of their sex, religion, age, sexual preference, color, etc... ALL deserve the truth and open honest clear communication. And chivalry in this instance, means the guy tells the gal, honestly without caustic remarks, criticism, or childish selfish reasoning...
maybe that is what yer used to and why you have an aversion to it.

[Miulang]

wow. Miu. i am surprised. you are telling us ALL women want to see and hear some fake, badly acted, ridiculous lie thrown at them rather than have the man tell them what is going on in THEIR own mind. This teaches people to lie and not communicate. I don't believe in teaching people to lie, or promulgating the bad habit.
No, I'm saying some people are psychologically stronger at handling rejection than others. And it happens that as a gender, males are taught that better than women. And I still would only go for coffee or lunch on a first date.

Miulang

[1stwahine]

Advice: Never, ever eat the women's food esp. steak!

Auntie Lynn

[kimo55]

"No, I'm saying some people are psychologically stronger at handling rejection than others. "



OH... ok, SOME people. that's different.
well, then we see there is a chance for the individual to GROW stronger in that area. No need to reinforce the weakness.
heck. why go thru like protecting yourself from experiences, lessons and ways of growing stronger in areas that need work?

"And it happens that as a gender, males are taught that better than women."


hmmmmm, I dunno, about that generalisation, either...

"And I still would only go for coffee or lunch on a first date."

Still? someone trying to convince you otherwise?
That always is a good idea. Blind date = short lunch and if it works out, sparks fly, fireworks, trains plowing into tunnels, nasa rockets shooting upwards, then a dinner date is planned.

[kimo55]

Advice: Never, ever eat the women's food esp. steak!

Auntie Lynn

what th' !
where are you finding these cretins, aunty!?

No, don't tell me.


I think it's safe to assume most all present would not require that admonition...

[lavagal]

Funny, true story.
I was in high school and it was the summer prior to my junior year. I was friends with the drum majorette and her boyfriend. They were a beautiful couple. They said they had a friend that they wanted to set up with me, go on a double date. I'm all excited. I tell my mom and she says I have to be home by 10pm. I was mortified! embarrassed! I couldn't believe it. But I agreed just so I could go. WELL. This guy was tall, skinny, scary. He might have been nice, but I was again mortified! We went on our date and I swear I wished my mom said I had to be home by 8 or 9 o'clock!
I will admit I was 16 and not the worldly woman I am now, so I was not wise enough to scratch beneath the surface to see if this guy was actually as great as he was advertised to be.
I learned blind dates don't work for me.
That was my ONLY blind date.

In another thread I mentioned that I like setting people up. But not as individuals meeting alone. More like at a family gathering, for coffee with me refereeing, etc. I don't think it's a smart idea to meet someone cold.

Pedro, good luck in your pursuit of love and romance!

[Miulang]

Still? someone trying to convince you otherwise?
That always is a good idea. Blind date = short lunch and if it works out, sparks fly, fireworks, trains plowing into tunnels, nasa rockets shooting upwards, then a dinner date is planned.
Heehee! Your description here sounds like the prelude to a trainwreck. :D

Oh yeah, Pedro, like Lavagal said, I hope you have a great date Friday night. Hey waiddaminute! Didn't you just move to Oahu like last month?

Miulang

[Tiger Beer]

Has anyone ever been on a Blind Date? I have many times and they never ended on good terms. One time I dated this one women she said that she was hot sexy and beautifull and when I seen her she was anything but that. I thought "Hey O.K. she's big and rounded I can deal with that, I want see if she is as sweet as she is on the phone." That turned out to be a HUGE DISASTER and not as I expected. She was practicly RUDE to our waitress to everyone around her, while trying to be funny and SARCASTIC. "I was like, so your different in person, RUDE AWAKENING!" I am going out on Friday again, but with someone else any ideas for first dates? :confused:

Sounds like internet dating!

Yeah, I've been on a number of those. Sometimes they really work out! Most of the times.. its a mismatch.. but still fun anyways.

A few times its a complete clash of personalities! In which case, after the obligatory hour of meeting, I've excused myself and went home! (or out eslewhere!) ;)

[Peshkwe]

Has anyone ever been on a Blind Date? I have many times and they never ended on good terms. One time I dated this one women she said that she was hot sexy and beautifull and when I seen her she was anything but that. I thought "Hey O.K. she's big and rounded I can deal with that, I want see if she is as sweet as she is on the phone." That turned out to be a HUGE DISASTER and not as I expected. She was practicly RUDE to our waitress to everyone around her, while trying to be funny and SARCASTIC. "I was like, so your different in person, RUDE AWAKENING!" I am going out on Friday again, but with someone else any ideas for first dates? :confused:

For something to do take her to someplace with a neutral atmosphere like a park, bowling, walking the beach..someplace where it's not got a typical 'romatic type' setting. For dinner plan on a nice family style resturaunt that's not too geared for families with little kids, but nothing along the dimly lit romantic lines but also figure out a low end and a high end alternative.

Do the activity before the meal that way you can get to know her and swap plans for something of a lighter fare if you don't feel like you're hitting it off but still want to give it a chance to see or alternativly go to a romatic place if it's going really hot. Also doing the activity first up will give you a chance to bow out early without spending alot for dinner for two if it looks like the evening be a bad cut from Night of the Living Dead or Hellraiser.

To get out or cut short the date, just tell her that you appreciate the chance to get to meet her but that you don't think you're compatable and you'd rather not continue the date or possibly lead her into any expectations that you wouldn't be able to fulfill. Thank her for the time you spent with her and the time she gave to you, get her a cab or walk her to her car...and then bug out!

[AbsolutChaos]

No, I'm saying some people are psychologically stronger at handling rejection than others. And it happens that as a gender, males are taught that better than women. And I still would only go for coffee or lunch on a first date.

Miulang

I'm with Miulang on this one. I know some of my friends prefer upfront honesty, but I also know others who would break down in tears in public if told the truth. (How embarassing and awkward is that if you've just met the woman for the first time!?!?) Some women handle rejection way too personally for various personal issue reasons. The best way to gauge which technique is best is to actually meet the woman. Once you ascertain her emotional fragility level (usually easy to tell after 15 min of conversation), you can decide for yourself whether truth or a li'l ol' white lie might be easier for her to bear. ;)

For the ones with low self-esteem, it's much nicer to just let them down gently with an excuse, or they'll forever obsess over WHY the other person didn't find them attractive, and as one of their friends, I'd like to spare myself the torture of listening to them obsess and obsess. :D Thanks in advance, heehee.

[Menehune Man]

Interesting... Half the replies offer ideas on a better 1st (blind) date and the others offer ideas on how to get out of it. I guess both types are warranted. My suggestion is to find out what kind of food she'd like to eat, then choose a restaurant in Ward Wharehouse/Center. IE: Stuart Anderson's, Spagetti Factory, Chowder House, Yum Yum Tree, Campadre's, etc. After dinner you could then walk around together, talking and window shopping, checking out the book stores. Good way to find out each other's interests. Good Luck!

[1stwahine]

I still say, don't touch nothing on her PLATE! That's a big NO, NO! Hmmm...Menehune man, window shopping at ward eh? wat? You single? Nah, I guess can not...the name says it all...you short. :p :D

Auntie Lynn

Smile everybody, what...I just playing around. laugh. ;)

[Menehune Man]

Hmmm...Menehune man, window shopping at ward eh? wat? You single? Nah, I guess can not...the name says it all...you short.

Auntie Lynn

I haven't been single for going on 15 years now. It's good. I've learned how to window shop along with other things to help with smoothing out the sailing. And yes I'm short, but like a Starbucks double shot expresso, full power. :D

[1stwahine]

Eh, you can take a joke. Your wahine is lucky! Good for you!

[Pedro]

Well I wasn't trying to look for a way to back out of a date, if a blind date happens to go bad from the start. I would consider that rude since I gave my consent foward with the date, I would certainly not lead her on making her think I like her or possibly love her, that too would not be a nice thing to do. But Blind date's are about chance, I think, and if I don't like her for some reason I will let her know at the end of the night but let her down slowly, so she can go on with her life, without worrying. But thank you all for the advice it was good. :) And those other places you mentioned "menehune" that's in Ward, sounds good better than where I was thinking about going. Ward Restruants aren't too fancy and too expensive either and they are reasonable too. Thanks again.

[1stwahine]

Well I wasn't trying to look for a way to back out of a date, if a blind date happens to go bad from the start. I would consider that rude since I gave my consent foward with the date, I would certainly not lead her on making her think I like her or possibly love her, that too would not be a nice thing to do. But Blind date's are about chance, I think, and if I don't like her for some reason I will let her know at the end of the night but let her down slowly, so she can go on with her life, without worrying. But thank you all for the advice it was good. :) And those other places you mentioned "menehune" that's in Ward, sounds good better than where I was thinking about going. Ward Restruants aren't too fancy and too expensive either and they are reasonable too. Thanks again.

Wow! Pedro! You must be one good catch for you to say "she can go on with her life" after one date! From a woman's perspective...one date is nothing unless the woman is desperate and these days there's too many fishes in the sea! By the way, don't go on any Blind dates with any tita's with the name of Lynn..it could be me. I'll only use you for a Steak! LOL

Auntie Lynn

[Miulang]

I would certainly not lead her on making her think I like her or possibly love her, that too would not be a nice thing to do. But Blind date's are about chance, I think, and if I don't like her for some reason I will let her know at the end of the night but let her down slowly, so she can go on with her life, without worrying.

Ahhh...Pedro, you are a true gentleman and a scholar. :)

[Pedro]

Wow! Pedro! You must be one good catch for you to say "she can go on with her life" after one date! From a woman's perspective...one date is nothing unless the woman is desperate and these days there's too many fishes in the sea! By the way, don't go on any Blind dates with any tita's with the name of Lynn..it could be me. I'll only use you for a Steak! LOL

Auntie Lynn
From a Mans perspective it's just the same I think, but here's the thing you should know, you don't get to know people unless you socialize with them, and dating is one of many ways of socializing with the opposite sex singularly. If ever I do go on a blind date again and her name is Lynn and it happens to be you 1stwahine we'll just go out and eat a nice big thick juicy steak with no strings attached. Sounds Cool? Is that a deal?:)

[1stwahine]

How old you?, Single, UnAttached? Wait, this not a an online dating service...I can get scoldings for posting this. LOL Neva mine!!!!! Have a nice day Pedro! :D

Auntie Lynn

PS. That's a deal. Please don't eat my steak like the last guy. ;)

[Pedro]

PS. That's a deal. Please don't eat my steak like the last guy. ;)[/QUOTE]
Oh I won't eat your steak you can trust me I am a gentlemen. Have a nice day too. ;)

[Menehune Man]

Hey Pedro, how'd it go? Can we have an update? Just asking buddy.

[Pedro]

Hey Pedro, how'd it go? Can we have an update? Just asking buddy.


Update: This girl lives all the way up in Pacific hts. She was beautiful and very attractive, she's a manager for some cleaning biz. She just finished working a ten hour shift and she got home and got dressed quickly. So I told her she didn't have to drive that I would comeby and pick her up. Picking her up was an adventure I didn't know where Pacific hts was located(and I live here on Oahu all my life...my goodness) So my friends gave me directions he told me to stay on Pali road and take a left somewhere at the fork of the road I forgot, I continued on all the way till I got to the wilson and I knew for sure I was lost. So after twenty minutes of hunting I actually found her house, boy she lives in some kind of mansion at the top of the hill, she is renting a room by the way. She's a nice sweet girl with auburn hair that come's down to her shoulders huge brown eye's soft pale light skin. I found her to be very sexy and to my liking even in plain clothes she had a nice body not too skiny and not to big either "I got curves." is what she mentioned to me and boy was that the truth. So my harmones were soaring as you could imagine, but yet I was expecting a tramp, but it didn't matter cause I was going to take her out to eat anyways, that was my prior motive. I offered a yellow rose and took her all the way down to Ala Moana Hotel. There's a nice Restruant at the last floor called Arrons. It's a nice romantic place with dimn lighting and soft jazz music being played from small speakers in the rough. The veiw was spectacular; a huge panoramice veiw of the city, gosh I had no idea places like these existed. I am so used to just going to the bars by Aloha Towers for dates. The food was rather pricey. She ate scallops and I ate some kind of fish thingy. Ya see she's a vegetarian. We had wine. The bill came up to ninety bucks. After I took her home, I did offer to take her else where but she politely refused because she had to work again early the next day. That was how my date went. I always treat them to something fancy.

Pedro

[1stwahine]

This was a Fun Thread! Since I'll be going on some Blind Dates soon (cough cough) I thought of looking up for some advice here. Any more advice you can give this Kolohe Aunty? ;)

Auntie Lynn :D

[Kalei99]

I met my husband on my one & only blind date! Honest to God! On our 1st date (blind) he took me bowling (Aiea Bowling Alley), to the movies (Waikiki 3 - we saw Silence of the Lambs), to da Blaisdell for Sports & Fitness show, dinner at Anti Pestos, and to top it off - he took me Ice Skating at Ice Palace! Phew - 12 hours!
Nine months later we were married in Vegas! :D

[1stwahine]

Awww...how romantic! But Kolohe Auntie Pupule not looking to get married dear. :D Just movies, dinner, bowling, whatevea else too. would be just fine. ;) I turning "50" soon, this wahine going live LIFE! My days are ova for washing somebody else's underware. :p

Auntie Lynn ;)

[Shan-n]

I love this topic Pedro! I have been on a few blind dates. The first one was set up by, of all people my best friend. She thought a friend of her husbands was perfect for me. So she planned for us all to go on a double date. I reluctantly agreed. When I met the guy that night I thought what the heck was my best friend thinking..... We did not hit it off at all!!! He was not my type at all. She knows the kind of guys that I like but for some reason she thought I would make an exception.... Never again will I allow my friends to set me up.

Then I have went out with a couple of local guys I have met online. Both guys were so very nice and I am glad I went out with them. But I just didn't feel the chemistry. You know like butterflies in my stomach etc.

I am beginning to think that the blind date thing is not for me. But never say never ;)

[Konaguy]

I've never been on a blind date before, but I've met people from on line
before with mostly not very good results. The few exceptions include
that I did meet this girl off a personals site recently and we did go out for a
month and half {my first ever relationship}

[kimo55]

Dang Aaron, I feel so old;
your first date/relationship was AFTER the internet was "invented"


whew.



wait. i just noticed you said 'recently'.
your first relationship was recently.... hmmm
uh, how young ARE you anyway?

My first date and later, first relationship was llllooooonnnggg personal computers were 'invented', much less the internet.

when I was a teen, a web site is what we cleaned up with a brush.
"blog" was what we did after a couple six packs.
a cell phone was what a prisoner would use. Once.
Plastic surgery was when we put our G.I Joe head on our sister's barbie doll body.
Log on was what lumberjacks did.
and so forth.

[tutusue]

[...]My first date and later, first relationship was llllooooonnnggg personal computers were 'invented', much less the internet.
[...]
I hear ya...before:
touch tone phones...
cordless phones...
answering machines, services, voice mail...
fax machines, which weren't even a figment of anyone's imagination...
pagers...

Accessibility meant physically staying near the corded phone. And, that we did! Just in case...<g> I think those are referred to as "the good ol' days"!

And, we survived! :D

[Konaguy]

wait. i just noticed you said 'recently'.
your first relationship was recently.... hmmm
uh, how young ARE you anyway?


I'm turning 30 February 19, 2006.

[miwa]

Back to the topic of blind dates or internet dating and where to go on the first date.......how about a movie? That way, if you're not attracted to the person in question, you don't have to spend the whole time making small talk. If you are attracted to the person, you can suggest getting something to eat after the movie.

[1stwahine]

Back to the topic of blind dates or internet dating and where to go on the first date.......how about a movie? That way, if you're not attracted to the person in question, you don't have to spend the whole time making small talk. If you are attracted to the person, you can suggest getting something to eat after the movie.

hmmm...very BOLD for a first POST! Getting us old timers back on track. ;) Excellent suggestion.

Mahalo,

Auntie Lynn

[miwa]

I apologize for just barging in here as a newcomer without so much as a "how do you do."
I heard about this forum through an article in the paper (about the slippers) and had to find out more. I really enjoy reading the postings (Aunty Lynn you are one funny lady!) and look forward to "talking" to all of you.

P.S. I know or thing or two about blind dates....I've utilized internet dating sites for over two years.

[1stwahine]

I apologize for just barging in here as a newcomer without so much as a "how do you do."
I heard about this forum through an article in the paper (about the slippers) and had to find out more. I really enjoy reading the postings (Aunty Lynn you are one funny lady!) and look forward to "talking" to all of you.

P.S. I know or thing or two about blind dates....I've utilized internet dating sites for over two years.

miwa, now that we pass the introduction stage. you one female or male? how old? nah, just joking!!!!! welcome to hawaiithreads.com :D

so, let me know some things on blind dates ettiqutte. i know i can not punch my dates outs if they misbehave. shucks! :eek:

auntie lynn

[kimo55]

i know i can not punch my dates outs if they misbehave.
I am quite certain you are fully capable of that aunty! no ack!

[1stwahine]

I am quite certain you are fully capable of that aunty! no ack!

Whatever do you mean Kimo? I'm a changed WOMAN in 2006! Honest! I am dainty, quiet, shy, etc. And if anybody disagrees with that...PM me! :p

Auntie Sweet Lynn

[kimo55]

Whatever do you mean Kimo? I'm a changed WOMAN in 2006! Honest!
what woman are you now!?


wait. how can you, anyway?
2006 ain't even here yet! Honest!

[miwa]

miwa, now that we pass the introduction stage. you one female or male? how old? nah, just joking!!!!! welcome to hawaiithreads.com :D

so, let me know some things on blind dates ettiqutte. i know i can not punch my dates outs if they misbehave. shucks! :eek:

auntie lynn

Thank you for the welcome, Aunty Lynn (I almost misspelled your name by inversing the order of the a and n to spell nauty Lynn - a Freudian slip, maybe?) Anyway, I am a female and I think I may be older than you.

About punching out your dates......heck! anything goes. I slapped a guy once. We ended up hooking up, anyway. Then broke up. So figure that one out.

[1stwahine]

About punching out your dates......heck! anything goes. I slapped a guy once. We ended up hooking up, anyway. Then broke up. So figure that one out.

...I think I'm going to enjoy blind dates...right up my alley! Dainty and being female that is. I wouldn't hurt a fly and my slaps are so light anyways. ;)

Auntie Lynn

P.S. I am not naughty. I am innocent until proven guilty. :p

[alohabear]

I had the ultimate blind date when I met my wife . We met in a chatroom and talked via email for a month . She moved from PA and we got married and have been together for 7 years now.

[helen]

Back to the topic of blind dates or internet dating and where to go on the first date.......how about a movie? That way, if you're not attracted to the person in question, you don't have to spend the whole time making small talk. If you are attracted to the person, you can suggest getting something to eat after the movie.
I suspect going to a movie with someone you never meant is not a good idea, unless of course both of you are die hard movie goers.

[Lisheous]

No, looking back through the years, I don't think I ever have.