Would You Rather Perspire Fluorescent Green Sweat or Fart Blue Smoke?

[scrivener]

Here's a question from that fun time-killer (amazingly useful when you've got ten minutes to waste and a room full of ADHD freshmen!) ZOBMONDO. It's one of my favorite. There are pluses and minuses for either case, but tell us: Would you rather perspire fluorescent green sweat or fart blue smoke?

[Glen Miyashiro]

Perspire fluorescent green sweat? Sounds like a Gatorade commercial. Is IT in you? :D

I guess I'd rather sweat green than fart blue. But wait, what if the green sweat stains your clothes?... do the blue smoke farts smell like regular farts?... oh, it's so hard to choose.

[kimo55]

hell, I do both.
but first,
how much will your church function pay?

[lavagal]

I'm a humid person. Can't get away from it. How cool would it be to have this green glow going on about me? I mean, not like say mold, just this vibrantly neon green aura? So much better than random blue puffs coming out of my ass. Just my .02.

[helen]

Which one gives out the less offensive smell? Also when you fart the blue smoke is there some kind of sound effect that goes with that too? Is there some kind of dependency with regreads to the volume level of the sound the fart makes, how bad the smell is and the size of the blue smoke when it comes out? Does the blue smoke stain your underwear? Can you switch choices, like today you perspire the Fluorescent Green Sweat and tomorrow you Fart Blue Smoke? Does the Fluorescent Green Sweat glows in the dark? Could you use it as hair gel? Does it come out from under your arms or from your forehead?

[kimo55]

Can you switch choices, like today you perspire the Fluorescent Green Sweat and tomorrow you Fart Blue Smoke?
no.
But you can fart flourescent green sweat and later, perspire blue smoke.
Then, sweat green smoke, and on sunday, yer limited to farting flour scent.

[1stwahine]

I'll take the Blue Farts and the Noise, thank you very much! I can just see it when I'm in Club Kekai's...on Hotel Street, drunk and singing, "That's Life!" :D

Auntie Lynn

[Pua'i Mana'o]

Here's a question from that fun time-killer (amazingly useful when you've got ten minutes to waste and a room full of ADHD freshmen!) ZOBMONDO. It's one of my favorite. There are pluses and minuses for either case, but tell us: Would you rather perspire fluorescent green sweat or fart blue smoke?

Puhleeze. I am Wahine™. I'll accessorize the hell out of that neon green sweat. Smoke is just too hard to discreetly contain within one's personal biome.

[Glen Miyashiro]

I can see a cabaret act in all this. Something with balloons and squeegees.

And bananas.

[TurquoiseDuck]

I would much rather fart blue smoke than sweat green. Can we set blue farts on fire like regular farts ?

However, it would be fun to be able to do both, if I could do it selectively.

Turquoise Duck

[Menehune Man]

How much do the operations cost and can it be covered by medical insurance? I'm kinda partial to the blue farts actually. Could really accentuate a point when warrented. :eek:

[kimo55]

I would much rather fart blue smoke than sweat green. Can we set blue farts on fire like regular farts ?


yea, but then, yer neighbor's faces would turn green..
with envy.


so almost, in effect you have both.

[TurquoiseDuck]

yea, but then, yer neighbor's faces would turn green..
with envy.


so almost, in effect you have both.

la deese ? :D

[adrian]

Tuff one...

I sweat more than I fart, so I'd take the blue smoke. :D

[helen]

Assuming the only change to our bodies is the color of our sweat and a visible blue colored smoke from our rear end. Given the volume of which a human's sweat you will just see a few green droplets on ones's head. Also the smoke cloud one produces would less that a puff of cigeratte smoke.

I don't think it would be too much of a change if all of sudden one can see this stuff.

[MadAzza]

I already fart purple. Why change?

[Surfingfarmboy]

I go with the blue fart option. Flatulence, in any color, is truly a "passing" phenonama. It comes; it goes. About the only negative about it that I envision, is that somebody might ask, if the fart was dealt anonymously (and if it's possible to deal blue farts secretly) in a crowded room is: "Eh..who wen (blue) fut?" Farts come and go. Green sweat, I'm afraid, with the potential staining issues, might poses significantly more problems. :p

[Moto]

Blue Futs would look awesome. But I agree with Surfingfarmboy that it would be hard to sneak in a silent one with the blue cloud coming out of your butt....

Would add to wise old sayings like "Don't eat yellow snow"

"Don't enter elevators with blue air"

[helen]

This post (http://www.hawaiithreads.com/showpost.php?p=40282&postcount=18) had me thinking this:

Did you ever notice that when someone who passes gas silently it smells really bad compared to someone who passes gas really loudly.

Why is that?

[kimo55]

I just saw our current active users/viewers go down from 77 to 13.
why is that?

[1stwahine]

This post (http://www.hawaiithreads.com/showpost.php?p=40282&postcount=18) had me thinking this:

Did you ever notice that when someone who passes gas silently it smells really bad compared to someone who passes gas really loudly.

Why is that?

They trying to be "sneaky" as suppose to just letting it out! :D

Auntie Lynn

[kimo55]

gosh aunty.
dass right!
wow...
well said.
that's gotta be... post of the month!

[Fondoo2]

google kicks a**


So why do farts smell? Fermented food produces different types of fumes, some of which smell. Flatulence contains odorless gases, such as nitrogen, carbon dioxide, oxygen, and methane, but it also contains the "oh-so-nasty" hydrogen sulfide, which causes the smell. If you have not noticed by now, some of the aforementioned fumes are flammable, like methane and oxygen, so you can, in fact, burn farts. Yes, you can set them aflame; it is not a myth, and a great way to impress the girls too... you do know I'm joking?
How much odor is produced also depends on the food you eat. Vegetarians might fart as often as meat-eaters, but their "serenades" do not smell as much because vegetables produce less hydrogen sulfide. The more sulfur rich the foods you eat, the more your farts will stink because bacteria will generate sulfides and mercaptans as they break down the nutrients. Beware: even though cauliflower is a vegetable, it also makes you stinky, so watch out!

[1stwahine]

Who gives a KAKAS? A FART is a FART!!!! I never smelt a sweet one!

Aunty Lynn hahahahahaha!

[cezanne]

"A burp is a fart wasted" is my motto. :D

[Tiger Beer]

I don't perspire much.. so I chose that one.

Rethinking it however.. if you perspired fluorescent green it would be quite visible for the rest of the day until you washed that shirt.. whereas a blue fart could be done in the men's bathroom without any women seeing that one and then gone away forever!

I should have chose the blue farts.. could be more fun.

[tiptoetulip]

Which one gives out the less offensive smell? Also when you fart the blue smoke is there some kind of sound effect that goes with that too? Is there some kind of dependency with regreads to the volume level of the sound the fart makes, how bad the smell is and the size of the blue smoke when it comes out? Does the blue smoke stain your underwear? Can you switch choices, like today you perspire the Fluorescent Green Sweat and tomorrow you Fart Blue Smoke? Does the Fluorescent Green Sweat glows in the dark? Could you use it as hair gel? Does it come out from under your arms or from your forehead?HAHAHAHAHA! Your post gave me a much needed laugh!! I'm still giggling.

[tiptoetulip]

Beware: even though cauliflower is a vegetable, it also makes you stinky, so watch out! More so than broccoli? Those can be quite deadly, from my experience! :eek:

[Glen Miyashiro]

More so than broccoli? Those can be quite deadly, from my experience! :eek:Or asparagus. How come asparagus makes your pee stink that way?

[scrivener]

Or asparagus. How come asparagus makes your pee stink that way?
When questions like this arise, I always say to ask Cecil (http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_383.html). Asparagus doesn't affect us all this way, as the article says. It's genetic! Blame your folks.

[tiptoetulip]

Or asparagus. How come asparagus makes your pee stink that way? I'll have to see about that. Never noticed. Or maybe my nose stay all stuff up? :p And I LOVE asparagus...I wish it weren't so expensive.

[Glen Miyashiro]

When questions like this arise, I always say to ask Cecil (http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_383.html). Asparagus doesn't affect us all this way, as the article says. It's genetic! Blame your folks.Gee thanks Mom and Dad. Maybe I should do a poll to see how many HT folks have the stinky-asparagus-pee gene. :rolleyes:

[kimo55]

Gee thanks Mom and Dad. Maybe I should do a poll to see how many HT folks have the stinky-asparagus-pee gene. :rolleyes:
ratcheer, bowah. and i luuv every minute of it.

prolly cuz genetically, it makes no schtaaank, but just a weird funny scent.
(hooo boy Jerry Springer, here we come)

[tiptoetulip]

Does the blue smoke stain your underwear? I was reading this poll to my husband, asking him what he would rather be able to do, perspire green or fart blue, and he said definitely fart blue smoke. Then he launched into a line of questioning, like you, and he had the same question...does the blue smoke stain your underwear? He decided the solution to this is, wear blue underwear!

The blue smoke, he claims, is definitely cooler. It would be like, Pfffft! Ooh! Look! [pointing] Did you see that one? :rolleyes:

[helen]

Here's a question from that fun time-killer ZOBMONDO.
By the way who or what is Zobmondo (or is it ZOBMONDO)?

In any event I finally choose blue smoke. I just hope it doesn't cause more grief like setting off a smoke detector.

[pzarquon]

Interesting to see things generally split (and the poll tied at 10 even so far). Haven't been able to commit to an answer myself, though the staining qualities of both substances would be a major factor in the decision.

If you're someone who passes gas and never owns up to it, the "blue smoke" option would be problematic, as it's basically a flare that says, "Over here!" :p

As for Zobmondo, a little thing called Google pointed me here (http://www.zobmondo.com/)...

[helen]

Haven't been able to commit to an answer myself, though the staining qualities of both substances would be a major factor in the decision.
As someone said eariler in this thread, blue underwear! Of course one needs to add green tops to the mix. The new fashion trend, green tops and blue pants!

[Fondoo2]

if you lit the blue fart on fire would the flame be a different color?

[scrivener]

Unless they've made improvements, the game really sucks, but the questions are terrific. If I find myself in a position where I have to keep kids entertained or engaged for a while, I whip out the game cards from Zobmondo and that takes care of it.

I also have several very long, very awful jokes that also keep them engaged, but I shall spare you.

[scrivener]

I can't imagine surviving with either condition, but what it finally comes down to for me is that there's a decent amount of control with the blue flatulence, whereas with the green sweat, you really can't do much to dictate when and where it's going to manifest itself.

[Pomai]

A blue-smoke fart sounds rather calm and unharmful.

Now if it were a RED-SMOKE FART, then I would equate that with that old "George Ariyoshi" hanabaddah dayz saying of being "silent but violent". :eek:

Gosh, imagine sweating fluorescent green with taste buds all over your skin. You could be called the "Kool Aid man". :D

[SusieMisajon]

Is this a 'bodymint' ad?

[1stwahine]

Is this a 'bodymint' ad?

hmmm...I wrote sumting about dis "nature" yesterday on my Blog.
http://www.auntiepupule.com/blog/index.php?id=584

"tutusue" was kind enough to tell me in a bit way about "Body Mints." ;) I tried it. Ok. I tried several. It works. My Farts smell Sweeeett! :p

Auntie Lynn

[lurkah]

"tutusue" was kind enough to tell me in a bit way about "Body Mints." ;) I tried it. Ok. I tried several. It works. My Farts smell Sweeeett! :p
Chinatown must've been happy too, last night. :D

[1stwahine]

Chinatown must've been happy too, last night. :D

You bet you sweet "bippy" they were!heheheh

And then some! :D

http://www.auntiepupule.com/blog/index.php?id=585

Auntie Lynn

[tutusue]

I joined HT about the time this thread started and, somehow, I missed it. Just saw it for the first time today.

OMG...you guys are killin' me! I'm laughing so hard I'm futting green and sweating blue which, according to this thread, isn't an option! And the visions I have of Auntie strutting her stuff in Chinatown complete with a blue aura are wild, I tell ya! Not to mention Maddie's color purple! :D

Oh man, I need to recuperate!

[LikaNui]

Chinatown must've been happy too, last night. :D Okay, now that I picked myself up off the floor and cleaned the coffee off of my monitor, I nominate Lurkah's comment for Funniest Answer Of The Week.
Do I hear a second?

Lurkah, if there were still chiclet reputation points, you woulda received a gazillion greenies for that one. :D

[lurkah]

Lurkah, if there were still chiclet reputation points, you woulda received a gazillion greenies for that one. :D
I think this might be a little overdue:http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b133/lurkah/graphics/fanhighspeed.gifMahalo for the sentiments, Lika! :D

[1stwahine]

http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f358/1stwahine/fans.gifhttp://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f358/1stwahine/fans.gifhttp://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f358/1stwahine/fans.gifhttp://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f358/1stwahine/fans.gif
Can you smell it? Can you? :eek: heheheh

Auntie Lynn :p

[tutusue]

Can you smell it? Can you? :eek: heheheh

Auntie Lynn :p
Uh huh! :eek:

[helen]

OMG...you guys are killin' me! I'm laughing so hard I'm futting green and sweating blue which, according to this thread, isn't an option! And the visions I have of Auntie strutting her stuff in Chinatown complete with a blue aura are wild, I tell ya! Not to mention Maddie's color purple!

I was thinking that if one were to produce a visible cloud while farting, would not the cloud be trapped in one's clothes? Or come out very little at a time as it makes it's way out of your clothes?

[1stwahine]

I was thinking that if one were to produce a visible cloud while farting, would not the cloud be trapped in one's clothes? Or come out very little at a time as it makes it's way out of your clothes?

3:00 a.m. I got up to take my meds. I checked here on HT to see wat was up.

Dear Helen, I no can go back moemoe. I keep visualizing one "Blue Cloud" coming through my clothes as I make my stroll in "Chinatown"! :eek:

My laughter can be heard all through Kalihi-Palama! :D

Auntie Lynn

btw: Good Morning Everyone! ;)

[chriscollado]

Suddenly flourescent green shirts and blue pants would be the fashion norm. :eek:

[Moto]

http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f358/1stwahine/fans.gifhttp://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f358/1stwahine/fans.gifhttp://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f358/1stwahine/fans.gifhttp://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f358/1stwahine/fans.gif
Can you smell it? Can you? :eek: heheheh

Auntie Lynn :p
Why is my room blue, all out of a sudden?

[1stwahine]

Why is my room blue, all out of a sudden?

Emergency! Wea's MOTO? :eek:

Looks through the cloud of BLUE. Ahhh...still sleeping like a Babe! :p

Room smells fresh MINT! :D

Auntie Lynn

[tutusue]

I was thinking that if one were to produce a visible cloud while farting, would not the cloud be trapped in one's clothes? Or come out very little at a time as it makes it's way out of your clothes?
Ya see, Auntie wore a mini-skirt the other night so, ummm, less obstruction! Now, just imagine if she was wearing thong undies with that mini-skirt and a crop top showing off her 6 pack! :eek: Blue 'aura' to da max! :D

But, you give cause to ponder, Helen. Your replies are always based on logic even when the questions aren't...which puts a whole, new twist on the subject. I guess it just depends on what style of clothing one wears and the fabric they're made out of.

And what about a nudist colony? Blue humor takes on a new meaning! :D

[1stwahine]

Ya see, Auntie wore a mini-skirt the other night so, ummm, less obstruction! Now, just imagine if she was wearing thong undies with that mini-skirt and a crop top showing off her 6 pack! :eek: Blue 'aura' to da max! :D

No! No! No! Thong undies does not go well with my 50 year old body. :eek: Heaven forbids me to wear dem. If I do...the gates will be closed shut on me when my time is up. No! No! No! Just the thought of it makes my skin turn Yellow. Can't match my Blue aura Farts.

As for "crop tops"...I no tink so too. :o

I getting itchy thinking about it. Eeewwwl! Sick! I need a drink. :D

Then again. Hmmm...what I got to LOSE? Nah, my daughters would throw a fit! For sure I get arrested for disturbing the PEACE! ;)

Auntie Lynn

[lurkah]

I guess it just depends on what style of clothing one wears and the fabric they're made out of.
Well tutu, now you know why Auntie's mini-skirts and mu'u mu'us are made out of . . . BURLAP. *poof* Untraceable. :eek: :p

[tutusue]

Well tutu, now you know why Auntie's mini-skirts and mu'u mu'us are made out of . . . BURLAP. *poof* Untraceable. :eek: :p
Works with the fish net stockings, too! :D

Hey, Auntie. Maybe Lurkah and I can be your wardrobe stylists? Chinatown won't know what hit it!

If nothin' else, you now know what to wear for Halloween! ;)

[1stwahine]

Works with the fish net stockings, too! :D

Hey, Auntie. Maybe Lurkah and I can be your wardrobe stylists? Chinatown won't know what hit it!

If nothin' else, you now know what to wear for Halloween! ;)

Do they still sell fish net stockings? Hubba Hubba!!!!!! :D

Alas, Chinatown and me will be parting for a little while. I got important things to do with my adorable grandson, Antonio and Yobo Movie fanatic MAMA.

Hmmm...I still can dress up for them. One throwing the sipper cup at me and the other throwing her cane! Yep! I love the idea! :eek:

Auntie Lynn

btw: When is Halloween? :p Oooops! Almost forgot the topic. Blue Farts are nice to behold. :)