Men and Women...just friends?

[alohabear]

Just a question .... Can a man(not gay) be good friends( hang out...pals)with a woman without being attracted to her? Or would she just be breaking his heart one day?

I say unless something doesn't attract you about a woman ... a man can just "hang out".

[oggboy]

Nothing wrong with that, I get plenty wahine friends and we all treat each other like braddah and sista. As the local way, and no I not (gay). I stay married with Children and grand-children....
OGGBOY :D :D

[EnjoyDaRideTRD]

Most of the time yeah but a few becomes more than just friends.

[AbsolutChaos]

This theory led to a lot of controversy among my friends, and I actually also lost a friendship due to it, but here it is for those of you who may not be familiar:

The Ladder Theory (http://www.laddertheory.com/)

[alohabear]

Nothing wrong with that, I get plenty wahine friends and we all treat each other like braddah and sista. As the local way, and no I not (gay). I stay married with Children and grand-children....
OGGBOY :D :D
OGGBoy
Do you find them all attractive or did you not notice?

[Glen Miyashiro]

This theory led to a lot of controversy among my friends, and I actually also lost a friendship due to it, but here it is for those of you who may not be familiar:

The Ladder Theory (http://www.laddertheory.com/)Oh lord! That's great.

[oggboy]

ALOHABEAR,
Dog`s no way, Very attractive with great personality. How can one not notice!
Like I said, Like Braddah`s and Sista`s, Nuff said....... :)

[manoasurfer123]

Just a question .... Can a man(not gay) be good friends( hang out...pals)with a woman without being attracted to her? Or would she just be breaking his heart one day?

I say unless something doesn't attract you about a woman ... a man can just "hang out".
You know what they say...

"The best relationships start out as friends first"

And is there anything wrong with "friends with benefits..." as long
as both parties agree that is where they want there relationship to be...is just...
"Friends with benefits?"

[Miulang]

Da rule me and da kane get is : "Can look, but no touch!" :D I get plenty male kine friends but we treat each other like bruddahs and titas. Hard enough get one full time kane as it is, why would I want more pilikia den that? Da kane I get I going keep because he's da one who does his own laundry and usually does da vacuuming lidat. All I gotta do is make da kaukau and stay out of his way when he get da cleaning bug up his okole! :cool:

Miulang

[Leo Lakio]

The Alpha Female & I have a "yow" signal - if either of us sees an attractive female first, we whisper "yow!" to the other one, so we can both appreciate the view. Nothing more than that - complete trust.
She knows that my eyes may stray, but they always come home to her.
As she phrases it, "they can't have you." Works for me.

[craigwatanabe]

Eh one of my best drinking buddies is one wahine...lesbian on the butchy side but you never said the woman could be gay.

But for all things considered with everyone being heterosexual. I think it's just human nature for one of those "friends" to cross the lines of friendship and go into uncharted waters. Best thing with friends is to keep that relationship as friends. Once you cross that line everyday becomes weider and weider until someone gets too uncomfortable and calls the friendship quits.

I mean look what happened to all those characters in that hit sit-com "Friends" :D

[tutusue]

The Alpha Female & I have a "yow" signal - if either of us sees an attractive female first, we whisper "yow!" to the other one, so we can both appreciate the view. Nothing more than that - complete trust.
She knows that my eyes may stray, but they always come home to her.
As she phrases it, "they can't have you." Works for me.
Does that go for attractive males, too?! ;)

[craigwatanabe]

Eh one of my best drinking buddies is one wahine...lesbian on the butchy side but you never said the woman could be gay.

But for all things considered with everyone being heterosexual. I think it's just human nature for one of those "friends" to cross the lines of friendship and go into uncharted waters. Best thing with friends is to keep that relationship as friends. Once you cross that line everyday becomes weider and weider until someone gets too uncomfortable and calls the friendship quits.

I mean look what happened to all those characters in that hit sit-com "Friends" :D


I meant to write wierder...that still doesn't look right :rolleyes:

Anyway the general rule of thumb is that a friend will always be friend. If you cherish that relationship that way, don't mess it up.

If you go in with the notion that you will never be attracted to this friend you're either a closet homosexual, or you're that ignorant. Prove me wrong? Here's the test: You're a male and your female roomate just invited a male lover over for the night.

Question: How do you feel?

Now let's say both of you normally keep your bedroom doors open when both of you head off to sleep but tonight she closed the door.

Question: Getting anxious?

She locks the door

Question: Getting a bit jealous?

Next morning he leaves she gets up and you see each other at the breakfast table

Question: What are you going to ask her?

She says it's none of your business

Question: Feeling a bit upset?

Hey as a guy if your roommate brought home a hot chic, the next morning would be cause for some major celebration: Yeah Baby you scored big time daddy!!!

Trust me platonic relationships never stay platonic forever. They either grow into something more intimate...or they dissolve with disgust.

[speedtek]

I say yes but wives never understand.....

[Menehune Man]

I say that intergender friendships do exist, they're just not the norm. Usually the male would want more than the female in most of these instances. ;)

[1stwahine]

I stayed away from this thread till now. :p

K-den. I have always been closer to the Male Species. Most of my friends are MALE. I have always gotten along better with my male counter parts. I do have female friends. However, not many.

I treasure my friendships. Yes, there have been times when someone wanted to cross the line and wanted more than just being friends. That ended many friendships because I don't consider playing the same game.

Friends should remain just that. Respect, trust and honoring the person is more important than LUST. And that's what it boils down to. "Itchyness" into wanting or believing that your friend is the person for you. Too many times after the Lust is over many find out it's not all what it seemed. Hala! Now they have no friend. Instead, hatred and to the other friends that they had together ~ a split circle of friends that will never be the same due to "LUST."

...hope I made sense. just my 2cents tonight folks.

Auntie Lynn

[Mahi Waina]

I read the "ladder" drivel and some of the comments: Adolescents of any age who think that way are slaves to their instincts - no better than dogs.

A few hours of Buddhist meditation should cure them, or just realizing that they are missing out on infinitely more fulfillment by relating to all people on a spiritual and intellectual level.

[Leo Lakio]

Does that go for attractive males, too?! ;)
It certainly does. Or couples.

[i-hungry]

I think its possible. Probably not a common thing. Even if the attraction is there, not everyone lacks self-control and proceeds to make a love connection.

[craigwatanabe]

I read the "ladder" drivel and some of the comments: Adolescents of any age who think that way are slaves to their instincts - no better than dogs.

A few hours of Buddhist meditation should cure them, or just realizing that they are missing out on infinitely more fulfillment by relating to all people on a spiritual and intellectual level.


Ummm...yeah right....so who's up for Superbowl Sunday!!!

[1stwahine]

Ummm...yeah right....so who's up for Superbowl Sunday!!!

Auntie pUpUle! :p

[Menehune Man]

I read the "ladder" drivel and some of the comments:

The ladder theory was meant to be a funny, tongue in cheek look at possably why some actions and reactions happen in relationships. I think some of it was 'Bang' on so don't agree with the drivel comment and addressing other poster's comments on this subject... There seems to be a general consensus I think "That male/female friendships exist, but sometimes a guy tries to jump ladders (along with other things). Does that really make him a bad person? Unless he's a real loser, shouldn't she appreciate the fact that he wanted to have a lover relationship? With all the responsibilities and sacrifice/sharing that comes along with that designation? I need some coffee...

[1stwahine]

I need some coffee...
__________________
Menehune Man

...make that two! :p

Mahalo and Good Morning! ;)

Auntie Lynn

[Menehune Man]

What attracts your attention first of the opposite sex, or same if that's your inclination? Like do you notice their hair, or eyes, laugh, lips, okole, legs, breasts, deep voice, or what?

Well, for me it's females okoles and legs. I like the whole female anatomy, but a sweet okole walking catches my attention every the time! :D

[1stwahine]

What attracts your attention first of the opposite sex, or same if that's your inclination? Like do you notice their hair, or eyes, laugh, lips, okole, legs, breasts, deep voice, or what?

Well, for me it's females okoles and legs. I like the whole female anatomy, but a sweet okole walking catches my attention every the time!

"fingers!" nah, nah, JOKE! :p

...for me ~ I would say manners plays an important first impression. I love men with Class! No show-offs. Absolutely, No guy's who eat my "steak" on first dates. :eek: (old timers will know wat I talking about) :D

Auntie Lynn ;)

[Menehune Man]

Absolutely, No guy's who eat my "steak" on first dates. :eek: (old timers will know wat I talking about) :D Auntie Lynn ;)

HaHa! I remember that!

[smoot]

The Ladder Theory made me laugh just because I thought it was funny that someone had to invent something so complex to explain why he doesn't get any action.

Explain the "steak" thing! I have some theories but I just have to know!

[1stwahine]

The Ladder Theory made me laugh just because I thought it was funny that someone had to invent something so complex to explain why he doesn't get any action.

Explain the "steak" thing! I have some theories but I just have to know!

heheheh :D

Your answer to the "Steak" can be found under the thread "Blind Dates" here at Hawaii Threads.com ;)

Auntie Lynn ;)

[Da Rolling Eye]

Already having and being committed to a significant other helps keep things in check. That's either me or the other. :)

It's harder when you're single and looking. All single female friends become possibilities. As someone stated, it either goes beyond or ends, although the friendships were good while they lasted. Even had one friendship where the female friend....ummmm....you know...... :o ;)

This is my experience. Everyone's different. :)