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  • Scared to death!

    I've been reading a lot on these boards about moving to Hawaii and I'm scared to death! My husband and I, along with our cat, are moving to Oahu at the end of August. Our kids are grown and won't be joining us.

    This wasn't our "dream" like so many others, although we are excited about it. My husband was pursued by a construction company that has done work on the islands for many years - primarily on the military bases. They offered him a good position with a significant increase in salary that, due to the increased cost of living in Hawaii, will make the move pretty much a lateral one. We are certainly not rich. We did a ton of research before we agreed to the move and had a provision put in his contract that the company will pay to move us back to the mainland if it doesn't work out for any reason. The company will pay to ship our cars and our household goods and for our travel for the move including temporary housing until our things arrive. They also included four round trip airline tickets per year so we can go back to the mainland to visit friends and family or have our boys come for a visit. We feel like we covered all the bases.

    So much of what I read here seems to discourage people from moving to Hawaii but maybe what's really happening is a reality check. I get the impression that a lot of people (young and not so young) want to sell everything they have, pull up stakes and head over to "paradise" on a wing and a prayer. I agree that would be foolish - and not just in Hawaii. I'm way too conservative to even consider anything like that.

    I've read a lot about how difficult it is to find rentals that allow pets. I've found A LOT of places that say "Pets OK." Of course I don't have three dogs like the lady whose posts I was reading this morning. I'm sure that would make a huge difference. We are coming over week after next to find a place to live.

    I'm sorry this is so long. I've just been feeling a bit overwhelmed with all I've read here. We are originally from Texas where newcomers are welcomed with open arms. Of course Texas has a lot more "wide open space" left than Hawaii! My husband and I hope not to be viewed as intruders and will do our best to be good neighbors and citizens. We are looking forward to finding a new church home and making new friends. We will be respectful of the land, the culture and everything that Hawaii has to offer.

  • #2
    Re: Scared to death!

    Don't be scared. This particular board can be 'funny' sometimes. (admit it, you guys...being 'welcoming' is not your forté)

    You will be arriving in the best possible circumstances, you should be just fine. Lucky you.
    http://thissmallfrenchtown.blogspot.com/
    http://thefrenchneighbor.blogspot.com/

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Scared to death!

      Susie, that isn't fair. This is an internet board, not the Hawai'i Visitors Bureau. I don't know what the formula is to mix or clash personality here.

      That aside, welcome to our board tnt. I just posted something something here which is my perspective on things.

      aloha, Pua'i

      pax

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Scared to death!

        Originally posted by tnts2k
        So much of what I read here seems to discourage people from moving to Hawaii but maybe what's really happening is a reality check.
        That's exactly it, Tnts2k. I think we all understand the draw of Hawaii, but the spiritual and fantastical appeal has to be tempered with the fact that most people still have to work for a living.

        I've helped many a Hawaii-bound soul make the journey, but I make sure it's one made with both eyes open. We here encouraged our fair share of well-prepared transplants, but definitely make it a point to give tips and point out any possible, lingering "gotchas" they may face. But when someone tells us they have no plan, no job, no money, and figure they'll just jump on a plane and give it a shot? Yes, we're more than likely to throw up a few red flags. We've seen too many of those "on a wing and a prayer" turn out badly to not say something. It'd be irresponsible, for them, and those already here.

        You say you've read the other threads here, and it sure seems like some of the precautions that are regularly advised are those you've already taken. The fact that you're coming here for a job that's already in the bank? Wonderful. That your plans are rooted in practicality, and not fantasy? Exactly the way they should be. Requiring an "escape clause" that can get you back out? Absolutely brilliant. If only all folks heading out here were so lucky!

        As for the pets and housing... I think one caveat that plays a part is how and why you're heading out here -- the military. The military has a whole separate inventory of available housing to play with, and I also know they're often pet friendly. Given their resources and reach, I don't doubt at all that you might see more "Pets OK" listings than regular folk do. And don't get me wrong, there are pet-friendly places to be had for anyone -- but at quite a premium. (And, as tutusue has noted elsewhere, some folks just keep their pets out of view and earshot of their landlords!)
        Originally posted by SusieMisajon
        Don't be scared. This particular board can be 'funny' sometimes. (admit it, you guys...being 'welcoming' is not your forté)
        Gee, thanks, Susie. Must be easy to make a determination of our helpfulness all the way from France.

        If by welcoming, you mean folks standing at the airport gate with plastic lei and mai tais, or people who'll parrot, "Go for it! Why not? Take the plunge! Jump in with both feet! To hell with planning, if it was meant to be!" You bet you're sweet bippy that spirit is pretty lacking here.

        I realize HawaiiThreads has a reputation, versus other Hawaii message boards, of being less cheerleader-like. A subsidiary of the HVCB we ain't. We're in love with Hawaii too, but love it for its ups and downs. Someone's gotta help clear away some of the low-lying fog, so people at least have a better idea of where they're landing.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Scared to death!

          Don't get pissed off at me....but go back, and look at some of the 'welcomes' that have been given to prospective newcomers. Like that poor guy with his moped, that wants to move to Maui. Or the one from Japan, who had the good humour to write himself a welcome, when nobody even bothered to respond to his post.

          Call it reality, if you like, but there is more 'welcome' in here, if newcomers seem to have the $$$ to immigrate, than if they don't.
          http://thissmallfrenchtown.blogspot.com/
          http://thefrenchneighbor.blogspot.com/

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Scared to death!

            Susie, my first thread was blood in the water and Kimo was the shark. It's all good now. Just like you, I keep plugging away here.

            pax

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            • #7
              Re: Scared to death!

              I actually appreciate the "brutal honesty" this board has provided. Although we aren't coming to Hawaii without a plan, it is still all new to us. What I have learned on this board will allow me to come to Hawaii with more realistic expectations.

              One clarification - we aren't military. The company my husband now works for does a lot of work on the military bases on Hawaii. Therefore, our housing choices are strictly civilian. We haven't been renters for a very long time. That should be interesting. We hope to buy something small within six months to a year. We just need our house in North Carolina to sell.

              My husband arrived on the Big Island on June 21st and is living in temporary housing in Waikoloa Village until the cat and I can join him at the end of August. He'll be commuting between projects. I'm going over for a ten day visit next week and can't wait to see him!

              Thanks again for all of your insight. I don't think people can get a really clear picture of what it's like to live someplace when they've only vacationed there for a short time. As we all know, vacation and real life are VERY different.

              Looking forward to our new adventure.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Scared to death!

                Originally posted by SusieMisajon
                Call it reality, if you like, but there is more 'welcome' in here, if newcomers seem to have the $$$ to immigrate, than if they don't.
                Well, that is the reality, Susie. Like Ryan said, we have a reputation for telling it like it is. If folks want the fluffy stuff, there's are lots of message boards for tourists and those who only see the pretty side. But that sure as heck isn't the reality of living here.
                .
                .

                That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Scared to death!

                  Originally posted by Pua'i Mana'o
                  Susie, my first thread was blood in the water and Kimo was the shark. It's all good now. Just like you, I keep plugging away here.
                  Mine, too...I'm sure that you all remember...but sometimes I just like geeve um one slap upside da head...sheesh!

                  You are gonna LOVE the Big Island, I'm sure! Welcome.
                  http://thissmallfrenchtown.blogspot.com/
                  http://thefrenchneighbor.blogspot.com/

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Scared to death!

                    I'm glad we haven't scared you away, Tnts2k! Trust me, we share more than "brutal honesty" here. Stick around, and you'll get to love (mostly) the hodgepodge of characters that populate the 'Threads, and learn many, many more wonderful and weird things about your new home, come August!

                    With a house to sell there, and a decent income here, I'm sure your options for both temporary and permanent housing are better than most. Like I said, others should be so lucky!

                    One question:
                    Originally posted by tnts2k
                    My husband arrived on the Big Island on June 21st and is living in temporary housing in Waikoloa Village until the cat and I can join him at the end of August. He'll be commuting between projects.
                    So... are you both moving to Oahu (you from the Mainland, him from the Big Island)? Or are y'all actually setting up shop on the Big Island? Just curious... as a lot of the answers you'll get will differ considerably depending on where you're going to end up!

                    Enjoy your visit next week! And do keep us informed, if you care to, of how everything's going.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Scared to death!

                      We will both be living on Oahu. The project on the Big Island is further along, so he's just staying over there until we join him permanently. When I go over to visit the company is sending us over to Oahu for two days to look for housing. I think the plan is for him to fly over to the BI a couple of days a week.

                      You're right - we are very blessed - and very thankful for those blessings.

                      I'm glad you didn't scare me away too because Terry already accepted the new job and we don't have any choice now - we're moving to Hawaii!

                      I miss him so much! We moved to North Carolina a year ago, away from all of our friends and family in Texas and I'm going stir crazy here!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Scared to death!

                        hello there Tnts2k...and welcome. we moved here from NC about 3 yrs ago....from Raeford to be exact. i gotta tell ya...it took us about a year to adjust. but...we LOVE it here. while military housing was an option for us...we NEVER considered it. we settled in kapolei. we picked kapolei before we set foot on island solely because of the schools. coming from NC, the cost of living just blew us away. we were told over and over again how expensive it was...we saw online the prices of houses...but still yet...it was quite a shock. unfortunately, we waited 2 years before buying. if possible, dont make that mistake. the price for houses are NOT going down...wont be going down anytime soon. we have found Ewa to be nice..but the traffic...HO MARY!! unreal!!! i do know, there are people from ewa that pass the ewa exit to come into kapolei, then take the backroad back into ewa. however...kapolei is growing and the traffic here is getting to be just as bad. but...we adjust. we know when to go out...and when not to go out....even if it means waiting another 15 minutes or just walking.
                        moving to a new place is difficult for just about everyone...no matter who you are, where you're from, or where you're going to. i remember when we first moved to NC. oh my gosh...i think i was in total depression. but...i adapted...and we had some wonderful times there...and made lifelong friends.
                        the key in moving here is to keep an OPEN MIND!!! you'll find that things are not done here like in the mainland. well...its NOT the mainland!!!! life IS different here...NOT weird....NOT stupid...NOT half arse backwards....just different. is there racism here in Hawaii?? yes...there is. is there racism in the mainland?? yes there is. as a matter of fact, NC is the very place i was called the "N" word....my son was beat up by two brothers cause he was a "sand-Ni...."...and he was pre-school at the time. i've been called "gook"...i've been told to "go back to vietnam"...LOL...and i'm not from asia, even tho my eyes do have a slant to them. have we experienced racism since we moved here? OH YEAH!!! even though we ARE islanders (the MR is from maui and i am from guam), our kids LOOK caucasian. we arrived here at the end of april...the end of a NC winter. sssoooo...we were all fair skinned. still, thanx to some distant relative...my children are still fair skinned compared to my husband and i. ANYWAY...when we first got here, we stayed at temporary lodging on base. i was told by numerous people who saw my children, that we should stay on base so my children could go to school with "their own kind." my son has been told by numerous people that because he's a local boy, he'll never amount to anything. my 16 year old daughter has experienced bewilderment from others because she's a local girl but still hasnt got pregnant. my husband retired this year...he and i have both been told that if he has a hard time finding a job...we could go on welfare like all the other hawaiians do. but i refuse to make other people's ignorance my problem. i think all of us will experience some form of racism as long as we live on planet earth.
                        since being here...we have made quite a few friends...just as diverse as they were in NC. my husband goes surfing with an older man (from Charlotte) and gets to talk stories with him and his "60s Baja buddies"....our neighbors are a wonderful older filipino couple that ALWAYS share their goodies with us when someone brings "good grinds" from the P.I....my son's friends' mother always shares her cornbread and collard greens when she has time to cook it....my husband is the uncle my daughter's friends call when they like go Sandy's to surf (and u know...he GOTTA stop by Bubbies for get auntie mochi ice cream...so dat means mochi ice cream for all he took!!)....i am called "auntie" by island kids (from the smallest chamoru kid to the biggest Samoan kid i have ever seen in my life)..i am called "aunt" or "mrs" from the kids from northern east coast...and i am called "Ontie" from the southern kids....i make 20 cups of rice for all da "mainland" kids who's turn it is to take rice for da sports team potluck. i've made several friends who have lived here for years and years...but never once tried laulau or poi...or ate spam for breakfast...or ate fried fish with the heads still on. but now...they grind 'em...and grind 'em HARD!!!! and all it took was having an open mind!!!
                        in my opinion, HT is a wonderful place to visit if you are making a move to Hawaii. like any other place, Hawaii has negative aspects...but u wont find them in a brochure promoting tourism. the HT ohana is open about their experiences here and abroad. positive and negative experiences from others are essential when making a move. the HONESTY u see here are exactly what anyone moving here needs.
                        well...since i have rambled on and on.......i'll close this with nothing but best of luck in your move...and helping hand to make your transition a little smoother. just pm...and i'll give u my contact numbers. til next time................peace

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Scared to death!

                          Aloha and Welcome to HT tnts2k! Ditto to what everybody else said.

                          tinav, Wow! What a great welcome and aloha you gave to our new member!

                          MAHALO

                          Auntie Lynn
                          Be AKAMAI ~ KOKUA Hawai`i!
                          Philippians 4:13 --- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Scared to death!

                            Tinav - thanks so much for your insight. My name is Tina too! tnt is for Terry and Tina and s2k is for a little Honda sportscar Terry loves.

                            Your experience moving from NC makes our experiences somewhat similar. The big difference is that we are not bringing our children because they're grown. My oldest is very fair, with red hair and freckles. Oooh boy! He would stick out like a sore thumb!

                            Personally, I have been amazed at the racism I've seen in NC. We're from San Antonio, Texas where the Hispanic population is the majority so we're used to being in the minority as white folks. When we moved to Goldsboro, NC where the black population is the majority I thought the situation would be similar but I was wrong! There is a very distinct separation and no one seems eager to blend. Maybe it's the small town mentality but it has disturbed me. The attitude towards the Hispanic population is horrible!

                            I guess every place has its own problems. The best thing to do is try to get along and not upset other people. I'm really glad we had the experience of moving to NC for a year before we make the HUGE move to Hawaii. I learned a lot from the first move and think it will help.

                            Thanks for the info about Kapolei. I've looked at that area too. We're used to bad traffic coming from San Antonio but it would be nice to avoid it if we can. My husband's first project will be at Camp Smith. That should be done in about a year and we don't know where on Oahu he'll be based after that. I work from home so rush hour traffic isn't an issue for me. I'm planning to look at some rentals in the Ko Olina area too. Do you have an opinion of that area?

                            Thanks for the offer to share your contact info. I'll PM you for that. I may need some help finding my way around.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Scared to death!

                              Crozier Drive, between Mokuleia and Waialua, is the most beautiful...but you'll have to stand the drive.
                              http://thissmallfrenchtown.blogspot.com/
                              http://thefrenchneighbor.blogspot.com/

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