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This is gonna make some people mad - or make them laugh; where do you fall?

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  • This is gonna make some people mad - or make them laugh; where do you fall?

    I sent this as a PM to someone on HT, who suggested I post it (I got NO shame whatsoever), so here is a summation of how some "coming to Hawai`i" posts look. WARNING: offensive language contained within, but as satire...

    I've always been in love with the dream of paradise that is Hawa-yi. Though I've never been there, I just KNOW it's where I belong.

    So me, my pregnant girlfriend, and our six dogs are going to move there next month. We don't have any jobs or family there, but that's okay, because we can just live in a tent on Waikiki for a few months, until we get jobs as teachers or something.

    I just got a couple questions: we've saved up about $800 (well, we will, if I can sell my beater car for $750) - will that be enough to last us for at least a year? I know it's enough to get by back here, where we do everything the best way.

    Also - will someone teach me to speak pigeon, so no one will know that I didn't grow up on Hawa-yi? I can probably buy you one beer as payment (domestic only.)

    So, I know everyone will welcome me with open arms, and "da kind" aloha spirits when I get there, because that's what island natives are like, right? Unless you're all smug and uppity, in which case YOU CAN ALL GO F**K YOURSELVES, CAUSE I'M A REALLY, REALLY DEEP AND SPIRITUAL AND PEACEFUL PERSON, YOU IGNORANT S**T-HEADS!!!

    =The Dood=

    P.S.) People there are really accepting of different cultures, so my old swastika tattoos will blend in when I learn to ride the waves, yeah? I can copy some other native tattoos from a book before I get there, if you think that'll help.

  • #2
    Re: This is gonna make some people mad - or make them laugh; where do you fall?

    I am shaking my head on the second paragraph alone. There is no way anyone can pitch a tent in Waikiki.

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    • #3
      Re: This is gonna make some people mad - or make them laugh; where do you fall?

      I'm laughing. Just link up the shopping cart train to a tarp and a tree and you're set.
      Aloha from Lavagal

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      • #4
        Re: This is gonna make some people mad - or make them laugh; where do you fall?

        Originally posted by helen
        I am shaking my head on the second paragraph alone. There is no way anyone can pitch a tent in Waikiki.
        Heh! Like that'll be the LEAST of their worries. "Well then, I'll just squat in one of your li'l grass shacks on the beach instead."

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