Miss Oahu! Advice please.. [Archive]

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Palaina

July 28th, 2006, 10:20 AM

Aloha!

We just moved from Oahu (was stationed at Scholfield Barracks) and were moved in late 2000 to New York (I despise it here!). Now, I find out that my wife is being deployed to Iraq. She only had a year left in the army before we would have to decide wether to re-enlist or leave the Army.

I am nor faced with a few MAJOR choices. I hate it here, and want to move back, but it will just be me and junior. (I am retired/disabled vet.)
The question is do I stay here in New York and continue to pay $1000 month rent + utilites to live on base (yes, we really pay that! At Ft Drum, the housing is PRIVATIZED, that means we pay ACTUAL RENT to the Army, its NOT FREE ANYMORE - sucks bigs time, place we live in is $600 everyplace else!) while waiting for wife to come back, or do I now sell everything and move BACK to Oahu while wife is overseas and we have $2500+ a month coming and seek full time employment? I really have no desire to stay here, and if we wait until she leaves the military, we would have NO INCOME period.
(Our son just tuned 6, and will be starting first grade, I have been caring for him FULL TIME for the last few years.) Again, I will be here for at LEAST a year waiting for her to get out, which probably will NOT HAPPEN as they are FORCING people in iraq to STAY in the army against their wills (see http://www.military.com/NewsContent/0,13319,FL_loss_092704,00.html )

Also, how is the job market there? Again, I am GUARANTEED at LEAST $2500 a month while wife is in the army.... (so we have income and FREE health insurance + commisary priviledges). Son was born in Hawaii.

I am 37, not getting any younger, nor is my health getting better. I am concerned that if I wait much longer to move back, there will be no point because I will not be physically able to surf, bodyboard, skydive, and do the other things I enjoy because of my age.

If we move in the near future, I have the security of income + health insurance for at least another year.

We are debt free, and have well over $60k in the bank CASH.

Advice? Thanks.... my heart is breaking here in New York, I miss Oahu and Ft Drum New York is hell on earth for me!

God bless....

fivesolas2004@yahoo.com

pzarquon

July 28th, 2006, 10:32 AM

Sounds to me like your mind is made up! I don't think anyone here doubts the appeal of moving back to Hawaii. For the sake of analysis, distasteful as it is, perhaps you might force yourself to inventory the advantages of remaining in New York until your wife's tour is complete? Especially since, as you note, she may not have an opportunity to even decide whether to re-enlist as early as you'd expected?

If you have $2,500 in guaranteed income for at least a year, you could make a go of it here. If you're paying over $1,000 in rent now, paying $1,200 here might not be as big an adjustment -- understanding that you'd probably end up in a nice studio or a good 1/2BR apartment versus a single-family home, if you're not willing to consider or eligible for base housing here. But you also have to add in the higher everyday costs (though access to commissaries and base gas stations helps).

With $60K in the bank, even your worst-case scenario looks pretty good by other relocating dreamers' standards!

The job market is good for entry-level jobs, more challenging for mid-level and management (though I've personally seen a lot of turnover and recruiting lately). I think a more prominent worry about life back in Hawaii would revolve around your son and his schooling.

Good luck. Life's too short to live someplace you hate, but I'm certain you know to plan and research quite a bit to make sure you don't end up out of the frying pan and in the fire.

1stwahine

July 28th, 2006, 10:32 AM

Leo Lakio

July 28th, 2006, 10:33 AM

You know, when I saw the thread title, I thought this was going to be a request for guidance from a beauty-contest winner... :cool:

Palaina

July 28th, 2006, 01:40 PM

Palaina, I read and re-read your post! First of all, Do Not, I repeat. Do Not, listen to anyone who will entice you how to spend your 60K. Period.

I know you love Hawai'i. Your words jumps right off the screen.

Have you done your homework on what it will cost for the transfer? Housing here is scarce too. Prices high as you know. Are you completely disabled or still can generate income?

There are so much questions I want to ask but I don't want to seem too niele. I just want to help.

I'll leave the other questions for the other members.

Auntie Lynn

I have leads on jobs, in fact several that I am qualified for, but I must be "on island" to interview of course! I lived there for almost 5 years, no rock fever here! I am ready and more than able to work, just not fit anymore for army service (special ops - if you cannot parachute anymore, they dont need you )

Also, when we move, wife will STILL BE IN IRAQ, so there is no chance of being incomeless for at LEAST a year, and a year in iraq is NEVER just a year (any soldier will tell you that!) So we will be set for 1+ year.

see http://reformationtruth.blogspot.com/2006/07/families-bristle-at-word-of-tour.html

I can work, I just cannot lift heavy stuff like I used to (100+ lbs) and I am not able to RUN. You cannot tell I have a disability by looking at me, I have degenrative joint disease from parachuting in the Army. I have a HIDDEN disability. I get 20% disablility check each month from the VA. I would be looking for work on the base in a federal job using my spouse preference/disabled vet preference (which almost GUARANTEES me a job - I have gotten EVERY govt. job I have applied for!)

I have no intentions of spending the $60k, in fact it is lot MORE than $60k, I just stated that to show that I have a BUFFER to fall back on if things get bad.

Do you suggest one area of the island over another? I liked the Mililani and Pearl City area, I cannot remember what schools are close there.

Thanks for your kind words... and aloha!

tutusue

July 28th, 2006, 02:37 PM

Palaina, it seems to me you've already answered your own questions and are looking for positive reinforcement from those of us on HT. That's not a bad thing so I mention it with all due respect.

You said you are guaranteed $2500/mo while your wife serves our country. Regardless of where you live, once your wife leaves the military, that income ceases. You hate NY and it's expensive. You love Hawaii and it's expensive. Am I assuming correctly that you being a retired/disabled vet doesn't affect your ablility to seek full time employment? If that's correct then it all boils down to finding employment that pays enough to give you an adequate standard of living once your wife leaves the military. Or, am I grossly over simplifying this? Decent paying jobs just aren't easy to find in Hawaii.

If you move back to Hawaii once your wife is deployed would you get military housing? If so, do you know what the rent will be? Will the military pay to move your wife's dependents to Hawaii?

I wish I had more time to brainstorm with/for you but I don't. Those are just a few questions off the top of my head. Others will have more, I'm sure. I think your heart has already made the move and your head is trying to justify it! ;)

Palaina

July 28th, 2006, 03:22 PM

[QUOTE=tutusue] If you move back to Hawaii once your wife is deployed would you get military housing? If so, do you know what the rent will be? Will the military pay to move your wife's dependents to Hawaii?
QUOTE]

I will not be able to live on base, my wife does not have ORDERS for hawaii, we are moving on our own $$$, and at our own expense. I will be moving only clothes and personal items, no household items or large things.

Proverbs 11:14 Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety

Its always best to ask those in the know, and I can find no better advice then asking those on this board :)

He lawai`a no ke kai papa`u, he pôkole ke aho;
he lawai`a no ke kai hohonu he loa ke aho.

(A person whose knowledge is shallow does not have much,
but he, whose knowledge is deep, does.)

lavagal

July 28th, 2006, 03:30 PM

You know, when I saw the thread title, I thought this was going to be a request for guidance from a beauty-contest winner... :cool:

Or something like that! Like who wants to be Miss Oahu?!!

tutusue

July 28th, 2006, 03:38 PM

Or something like that! Like who wants to be Miss Oahu?!!
Plenny young ladies. I see 'em in my office all the time. I just wish children's beauty pageants were outlawed. :(

Keanu

July 28th, 2006, 04:13 PM

Aloha!

Advice? Thanks.... my heart is breaking here in New York, I miss Oahu and Ft Drum New York is hell on earth for me!

God bless....

Move Home brah,You'll be much happier.

nachodaddy

July 28th, 2006, 05:20 PM

Fort Drum sucks. Move while you still are able to (and before you get snowed in) :)

You are a vet so get with a counselor and see what the VA can help you with. They helped me once when I had a major crisis. Lots of help that you probably do not even know exists.

Lots of civil service jobs on Oahu. You already know how to work your way through that mess. That is your shining light right now.

If your home of record is Hawaii then waiting a year will help offset the moving costs when your wife returns. If not, then there is no advantage waiting for the Army to move you.

Any Hawaii area vets want to chime in???

Focus and discipline. You have been through much harder things (like jumping out of a perfectly good airplane). You will get through this..........

1stwahine

July 28th, 2006, 05:54 PM

Palaina, You have been on my mind all day. I am a mother of soldiers. I'm also a member of a National Military Moms Support Group. When you transfer here to Oahu, please feel free to contact me before and anytime. I will help you as much as I can and ask my children to assist as well. I will PM you with my phone number.

Good Luck

Auntie Lynn

Whitepoint3rchum

July 28th, 2006, 06:48 PM

craigwatanabe

July 28th, 2006, 10:21 PM

Yeah I feel for you man, had to live in hell myself for 8 years, imagine that crap! Good to know there is a man with feelings similar to my own. What is it about NY that you hate- the racism, brusquness of people, filthy natural environment, lack of wildlife, overdevelopment, or how close-minded the residents are?

New Jersey? :D

nachodaddy

July 29th, 2006, 04:29 AM

Whitepoint3rchum

July 29th, 2006, 01:12 PM

Yes Nacho, I'll inform as to what 'hell on earth' is. Alright picture this. You move from someplace where you have lots of friends, enjoy the culture, love life, and are generally a genial person.
Now you move to someplace else where racial diversity is nonexistent and elitism is the order of the day. There is one majority and if you don't fit into it your ridiculed. If you are said race, then you are constantly exposed to racist jokes about other cultures being poor leaches on society. That happens in the first couple months...
Ok so now you're settled in your new 'home'. You go about trying to make some friends. Its hard because almost everyone makes fun of the way you talk, dress, act, what things your into (hobbies). You find one or two guys to be your friends and they seem like alright fellas. Similar interests to you etc. Then you find out that they've been made fun of their whole lives simply cause they don't fit into the close-minded area in which you now reside. So because of your association the harassment is even worse. They gang up on you, supporting each other, no matter what preposterous bull crap issues from their friend's mouth... End of Year One
From Year two to Year Eight, you basically have almost nothing to do (especially when your two friends are on vacation), have given up playing sports because no matter how good you are 'lil Johnny is so much better in the coaches eyes so you ride the pine. 'Lil Johnny won't hesitate to inform you how great he is and how much you suck mainly cause his parents have fed him that bull since he came outa the womb. (In actuality Johnny sucks, and you've seen more athletic talent in a garden slug)...
Life becomes utterly boring and monotonous, you give up on trying to fit in, and set your sights on returning to the actual place you call home...

Now I could go into more detail but I think you get the picture. For an adult it would be somewhat similar, the alienation, and you'd see your children discriminated against.

Whitepoint3rchum

July 29th, 2006, 01:13 PM

Craig, yes, for me NJ. :)

Also Prof. K., let the grammer slide on the above post. I don't feel like correcting it. :p

nachodaddy

July 29th, 2006, 03:54 PM

No worries. Everyone has their own version of "hell". Mine involves being tied to a chair watching a 24 hour Knight Rider marathon but to each their own.

All of this has the ability to make you stronger or make you weaker. Your choice. Remember that, you always have a choice.

There is only one race. Human.

If it makes you feel any better, Lil' Johnny gets run over by the Karma train sometime around flunking out of college and rehab. The bad part is that he usually finds a career in law enforcement or politics. Gotta feed that 'power' thing. Unfortunately for him the train returns for another mow job.

kimo55

July 30th, 2006, 12:31 AM

No worries. Everyone has their own version of "hell". Mine involves being
Lil' Johnny gets run over by the Karma train sometime around flunking out

mine involves being subject to that dreadful australian import slogan
'no
worries'

and cheap metaphors like 'run over by the karma train'.

Queenolu

July 30th, 2006, 03:05 AM

Palaina..... I will suggest that you make the move now while you can afford it. You have not told us what your wife has to say about all this... I know she is not there with you at the moment... but have you spoken to her about his and she is fine with you leaving and moving to Hawai'i. Because.... you do realize that when if she is allowed to come home for a break...she will be send back to NY and you may not be able to see each other unless you then come to NY to meet her.

But the most important thing is this.... if your wife is in full agreement with you and says go ahead.... what else can anyone of us here say. Your wifes opinion is #1 my dear Vet. How does she feel about it?

Based on the fact that you have a steady income coming in from her and you will be able to find a job in Oahu for sure since you have all those Vet and dissability rights to jobs... so you should be able to live well in Oahu and you know your way around as well. And you have a good amount saved up...

The questions remains.... how do you plan on takiing care of your Son. You will need to find a good babysitter once you get there... because you never know what your work schedule will be and develop a good support base... since you will be "technically" a single dad out there.

I pray for the safety of your wife and everyone else out there fighting the BUSH war.

tutusue

July 30th, 2006, 08:24 AM

[...]and cheap metaphors like 'run over by the karma train'.
Yikes! Good thing you never met my dad (http://www.reelserviceshawaii.com/mydad). He would've been your living hell with all of his wonderful, creative, wildly funny metaphors. He was a master of metaphors which came naturally to him as writing was one of his many strengths.

Personally, I love nachodaddy's "run over by the karma train".

See...diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks! Bet that phrase gets to ya too! ;)

kimo55

July 30th, 2006, 09:10 AM

reminds me. the wedding chrashers movie. the script was nothing but a bunch of strung together slogans and metaphors. ugh.
No direct speaking at all.

nachodaddy

July 30th, 2006, 10:06 AM

reminds me. the wedding chrashers movie. the script was nothing but a bunch of strung together slogans and metaphors. ugh.
No direct speaking at all.\

Since the price of metaphors just went up, I'll hit ya with some of my more creative and original ones, be prepared to go "waaaaaaaaaa" :)

kimo55

July 30th, 2006, 10:07 AM

I am going waaaa already.

lavagal

July 30th, 2006, 01:54 PM

New Jersey? :D

What is this a death wish? You messin' with ME?

craigwatanabe

July 30th, 2006, 10:46 PM

What is this a death wish? You messin' with ME?

I don't see any smiles so you must be serious. Oh well :rolleyes:

Wasn't it New Jersey the reason why we have the Superfund? Oh what was the name of that senator from NJ who was the NBA basketball player back in the late 70's that I think authored it's inception? Back then there were something like 631 toxic waste sites in that state alone.