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Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

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  • Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

    A dollar may not go as far as it used to, but what it lacks in distance it makes up in speed.

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    That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

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    • Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

      'If this is the way Queen Victoria treats her prisoners, she doesn't deserve to have any.'

      Oscar Wilde. 1854 - 1900.

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      • Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

        Instructions for cleaning a toilet:

        1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
        2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
        3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.
        4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
        5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power-wash' and rinse'.
        6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
        7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
        8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
        9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.

        Sincerely,

        The Dog
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        .

        That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

        Comment


        • Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

          One day a friend was walking down the beach with some other friends when one of them shouted....'Look at that dead bird!' A tourist looked up at the sky and said...'Where?'

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          That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

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          • Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

            Remember the column in the Advertiser that had “Stupid Tourist Quotes”? I think there were too many complaints about the stupid tourist part. But a couple of my favorites are:

            Tourist standing on Waikiki beach asks life guard “What’s the elevation around here?” And overheard on the bus “We were on the Atlantic side of the island yesterday so we are going to spend today on the Pacific side.”
            "Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it. Do not count on them. Leave them alone."
            Ayn Rand

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            • Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

              I love this thread!
              Reading through a bunch again and came to this. V
              “The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.”
              William Arthur Ward
              And realized that I'm quite wishy-washy, because depending on the day...
              I can be any or all of these.
              Life is either an adventure... or you're not doing it right!!!

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              • Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

                “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” - Andy Rooney
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                That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

                Comment


                • Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

                  Women age like fine wine...

                  Men age like milk.



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                  That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

                  Comment


                  • Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

                    Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away..

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                    • Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

                      "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
                      -- Dean Martin
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                      That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

                      Comment


                      • Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

                        Heard on a TV comercial...

                        "The good news is that there's no more bad news"

                        I laughed sooo hard. Oh well...
                        Life is either an adventure... or you're not doing it right!!!

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                        • Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

                          Well, I did a search, and didn't find it, although this is one LONG thread! So, my all-time favorite quote:

                          "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."
                          Mohandas Gandhi
                          Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken!
                          ~ ~
                          Kaʻonohiʻulaʻokahōkūmiomioʻehiku
                          Spreading the virus of ALOHA.
                          Oh Chu. If only you could have seen what I've seen, with your eyes.

                          Comment


                          • Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

                            “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
                            Oscar Wilde
                            .
                            .

                            That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

                            Comment


                            • Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

                              Favorite quotes? I have so many, but here's a sampling:

                              "Lead, follow, or get out of the way."
                              — Thomas Paine

                              "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."
                              — Lakota Indian proverb

                              “You can’t say civilization isn’t advancing: in every war, they kill you in a new way.”
                              — Will Rogers
                              To be, or musubi... What was da question?

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                              • Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

                                "It was me against the world; I was sure that I'd win. But the world fought back, punished me for my sins." Mike Ness

                                Can't think of anything creative this time

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