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  • Living far from family

    For those of you who live far from your family (you live in the islands, they don't; or they live there and you don't), how do you stay in touch? For the longest time I used to go visit my family every Thanksgiving and Christmas, no matter how far away I was or how inconvenient it might be. Since I got married, things have changed a little bit since we have two families to visit and neither of us want to go visit our own families alone (and both families want us to visit). So 2x plane fare twice a year... gets pretty spendy! Especially for a destination like DFW, where tickets that time of the year are $300+ per person. I can only imagine it's worse when the trip involves crossing half the Pacific!

    The last few years we've been skipping some holidays and staying home, since we have family here now -- the two of us and our kitty. 'Course our chosen family members too, our good friends.

    I sent my dad a webcam and he's getting set up on DSL service some time soon, so I'm hoping we can start staying in touch more that way. Skype is lovely. We've been thinking of paying for my parents to come visit us instead of buying plane tickets for ourselves to go visit them.

    Anyway, I'm curious what others do.

  • #2
    Re: Living far from family

    Myspace has not only allowed me to stay in contact...

    It has also helped me find family members that I had long lost contact of.

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    • #3
      Re: Living far from family

      Ahh, cool. Yeah I've been using LJ and other blogs to build back up a network of friends I lost from school. That's been pretty awesome, to be able to keep in touch with them again.

      Unfortunately my family is not very tech savvy. My dad's had the webcam since January and I've yet to convince him to hook it up.

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      • #4
        Re: Living far from family

        Family is great. But a cousin of mine once said "Great Friends are like Family that you get to choose."

        I stay in contact with family in CONUS mostly by telephone. When we vacation every third year or so, we usually make a 20+ day, 2 family visit, 5 city, cross country extravaganza out of the mission, with a tight schedule, and the underlying, subliminal command that we gotta have fun as fast as we can. Lot's of fun stuff to do that we don't have here in Hawaii.
        FutureNewsNetwork.com
        Energy answers are already here.

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        • #5
          Re: Living far from family

          Well there is the old Pen and Paper (nothing beats a hand written letter over an email anyhow)

          Then theres always the phone...etc...

          I remember back in the days when my family was apart...

          We would send pictures to everyone via mail...and then we would include a "Family Routing slip... "

          Please enjoy these pictures and mail them to the next person on the list...And always putting your name on the bottom of the list to make sure you got the pictures back.

          Now with Digital pictures and the Digital world we now live in...those pictures can be sent out in mass and enjoyed by all at the same time.

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          • #6
            Re: Living far from family

            Originally posted by Bard
            Ahh, cool. Yeah I've been using LJ and other blogs to build back up a network of friends I lost from school. That's been pretty awesome, to be able to keep in touch with them again.

            Unfortunately my family is not very tech savvy. My dad's had the webcam since January and I've yet to convince him to hook it up.
            We just talked the relatives into the internet! 5 years! now they are so happy they get pics of the boys all the time.

            I love the free long distance on Cells. We all have them. It's so much easier now than 10 years ago even.

            My brother in Germany, we do the package/letter/ webcam/ phone thing. But nothing beats seeing the babies in person
            Since when is psycho a bad thing??
            Sharing withother survivors...
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            • #7
              Re: Living far from family

              Even since I moved to Cali 12 years ago, it's mostly been me having to do the visiting. For the longest time, it was me going to my sister's in texas every Thanksgiving and Christmas. My dad since moved down there, but this year sis moved to Syracuse, so now, who knows ?

              The last time my family all got together I bitched at them about the fact that no one has made a trip to come see me except my dad. It's always, "Hey, I'll be in LA for a day, why don't you come meet me" which I said was unacceptable. After 9-11. travelling just became a nightmare at holdiays, so I just said "no more". Now I don't see them much anymore.

              That being said, my dad is getting on in years (79) so I'd like to see him more. I think about what if I moved to the Islands, I'd never see anyone.
              Well. there may come a time, and then I guess I'll never see anyone anymore. Then again, Hawaii is alot closer to taiwan, and my fiancee's mom family may show up more.

              I can imagine how tough it is for islanders to see their Ohana on the mainland, especially with the way air travel is now.
              http://tikiyakiorchestra.com
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              • #8
                Re: Living far from family

                Tikiyaki, I'm pretty much right there with ya on the family visiting. My whole family lives in Texas, so there's pretty strong pressure for us to come visit them rather than the other way around (so everyone can see everyone). After I left the state family members have come to visit me exactly once -- for our wedding. The in-laws live in Reno so we see a lot more of them, but I'm one of the lucky few (it seems) who actually has cool in-laws, so we like that.

                I'm down with the family care packages too. Only takes a few minutes and it means a lot. We just sent one off to my parents and the wife's parents, with zucchini bread baked with zucchini we grew in our garden, some cookies, omiyage from our Hawai'i trip in June, post cards, etc... That was fun.

                My step mom pretty much hates flying and my dad obliges that, so the only time we get to see them is if they go on a road trip somewhere and we meet them. They're supposed to come up here next year on their west coast road trip, but that's never certain with my dad's knee operation looming soon.

                I do want to see them as much as I can because I know none of us will live forever, but I'm also trying to balance that against the fact that we all have lives of our own now.

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                • #9
                  Re: Living far from family

                  Originally posted by tikiyaki
                  [...] I can imagine how tough it is for islanders to see their Ohana on the mainland, especially with the way air travel is now.
                  My daughter has been on a plane every week since the lastest bump up in security. She also visited me for an extended Labor Day week-end...more extended thanks to the freeway overpass incident! Anyway, other than the items that must be packed instead of carried on, she said there have been no hassles or long lines. Possibly that's due to her originating and destination airports...I don't know. The big test will come next month when she flies to Africa with a layover in London. The title of one book that's required reading for her Africa trip is "Guns, Germs and Steel". I asked her to please not read that book on the plane, which is where she does most of her reading!

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                  • #10
                    Re: Living far from family

                    All my family but mom and dad live back home in the islands. My mom and dad will remain in California until retirement then move back home themselves. My husband's family are in California, Arizona, Alaska, Oklahoma and Florida. So since my family are all concentrated in one area and since he likes visiting the islands we see my family. But, his mother and grandmother only live a few blocks from us, his father and sister a 2 hour drive from us, and his auntie is 2 cities away. We see them all very often so it's not like he doesn't see any family. We plan on visiting Florida soon but believe it or not it's way more expensive to plan a trip to Florida than it is O'ahu.

                    Plus he says to me, "I don't know what it is about Hawaiians and locals but you guys get physically ill when you are away from the 'aina for too long." He can always tell when I need a trip back home, asap. It is expensive to fly out there yearly (or even more sometimes.) But it's impossible to put a price on how much it means to me and he knows that.

                    Otherwise we keep in touch with the internet, phone calls, and pictures and letters in the mail. Emailing pictures is good and all but nothing beats a hand written letter and a picture in your hand that you can put up in your home.
                    Last edited by Lei K; September 10, 2006, 02:23 PM.
                    I'm disgusted and repulsed, and I can't look away.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Living far from family

                      K.I.T.

                      Well the Sis lives in the BEEg OK *( u know, oklahoma)! yikes, i don't know what the hell she was thinkin',

                      but anywho, we subscribed to HELLOWORLD.com through another relative and that thing is Karazzy!

                      I get one webcam, Live Broadcasting, Video IM (like the skype thing) , and Vmail(videomail). I make my Broadcast Private so that i dont get the peepin' toms & so to see it they need a password from me. *

                      "Liked it, Wanted it, Got it" ~ KaYa
                      sigpic

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                      • #12
                        Re: Living far from family

                        Originally posted by Got2HaVKaYaNoW
                        K.I.T.

                        Well the Sis lives in the BEEg OK *( u know, oklahoma)! yikes, i don't know what the hell she was thinkin',

                        but anywho, we subscribed to HELLOWORLD.com through another relative and that thing is Karazzy!

                        I get one webcam, Live Broadcasting, Video IM (like the skype thing) , and Vmail(videomail). I make my Broadcast Private so that i dont get the peepin' toms & so to see it they need a password from me. *

                        "Liked it, Wanted it, Got it" ~ KaYa
                        Kaya -

                        We had an interesting discussion about Helloworld over here on this thread...

                        I would like to hear your personal input ... are you a reseller of it or just a user?
                        http://www.hawaiithreads.com/showthr...ght=helloworld

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                        • #13
                          Re: Living far from family

                          Video Mail is an interesting concept. I mean you could do it now by just recording a video and attaching it to an email, but that's a bit of work and email servers like to reject attachments big enough to be a decent quality video.

                          I've been using Skype for the "live chat" and it works great. The audio quality of Skype is phenominal, the video quality is alright, and you can't beat the price (free ).

                          Now if I can just get my family to use it... I'm still trying to convince my sister to stop sending me emails all in caps

                          In the mean time, a digital camera and a photo printer work wonders, for those physical pictures to send along with a letter.

                          "I don't know what it is about Hawaiians and locals but you guys get physically ill when you are away from the 'aina for too long."
                          My wife's no local and even she feels that way. Gonna be time to plan our next trip soon... maybe some time this coming "winter" and probably on the B.I.

                          Thanks for all the responses everyone, it's been fun reading them! Looking forward to more... =)

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                          • #14
                            Re: Living far from family

                            In times of yearning, during your adventurous, traveling life of exploration and discovery, always remember -

                            THE NUTS LAND CLOSEST TO THE TREE.
                            FutureNewsNetwork.com
                            Energy answers are already here.

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                            • #15
                              Re: Living far from family

                              For me it's all about email, a phone call maybe once a month, and the yearly visit (mainly me visiting them) home.

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