Simple Question: What Got You Through?

[jdub]

While I know that a thread like this may invite tales of personal struggle, which I'm certain that I will find appropriate, I'd like to hear (read: read) what gotten this assembly of thinkers through their (read: your) toughest times. God is a given, and therefore ineligible for inlcusion as a "what got" answer. As a lifelong, rarely practicing and "Unconfirmed" Catholic, I offer my most sincere disclaimer. Fire off the inspire, yall.

[scrivener]

Re: Simple Question: What Got You Through?

I happened to see Tom Hanks in CastAway. Without spoiling the film for those who haven't seen it, I'll say that I identified with the character and the way, when he was at his moment of greatest despair, he decided to "just keep breathing. You never know what will wash up on the shore tomorrow."

I began that day to grow this ridiculous beard, as a visible and tangible reminder of the Hanks character. It was ugly and stupidly long (Ryan's got pictures somewhere; I was still wearing the thing at his graduation party) and one day while at a party at a friend's house, I just went into the bathroom and shaved it off. It was, you know, time.

It is far from inspiring to say, "Just keep breathing," and yet it's the best advice I got and the best I can offer. Things might NOT get better, but you never know. They might.

[damontucker]

Re: Simple Question: What Got You Through?

While I know that a thread like this may invite tales of personal struggle, which I'm certain that I will find appropriate, I'd like to hear (read: read) what gotten this assembly of thinkers through their (read: your) toughest times. God is a given, and therefore ineligible for inlcusion as a "what got" answer. As a lifelong, rarely practicing and "Unconfirmed" Catholic, I offer my most sincere disclaimer. Fire off the inspire, yall.

You wanna know what jdub... you just hit me in my heart....

HawaiiThreads has gotten me through alot of tough times... due to the circumstances of my family living arangements.... I've spent many hours on HT when I could be doing other things....

Each and everyday... I continue to learn things... today I learned things about the Hawaiian Monarchy...

Other things I have learned... is you know who true friends are...

Any rate...Hawaiithreads has gotten me through a lot of downtime away from my wife and baby....

Manoa

[jdub]

Re: Simple Question: What Got You Through?

I began that day to grow this ridiculous beard, as a visible and tangible reminder of the Hanks character. It was ugly and stupidly long and one day while at a party at a friend's house, I just went into the bathroom and shaved it off. It was, you know, time.

I did the same thing with a bleachy blonde hippy hair curtain. I was an anomally in the traditional ska and 3rd wave ska circles of the 90's in which I was traveling. I have pictures of my drummer Shon making the cut. His smile is maniacal. But, yeah, Scriv, there comes a time to be shorn, I guess.

[pzarquon]

Re: Simple Question: What Got You Through?

I began that day to grow this ridiculous beard, as a visible and tangible reminder of the Hanks character. It was ugly and stupidly long (Ryan's got pictures somewhere; I was still wearing the thing at his graduation party)

Ah, the beard. Though of course, Scriv, I've always found the length of the hair on top of your head to be a better indicator of your life cycles.

In the last couple of months, I've actually just about redlined on anxiety and stress... though I keep it all in perspective, knowing that a bad day for me is still a pretty damn good day for 90 percent of the Earth's population. Even so, when things in my little world look bleak and hopeless, I always find immense joy and purpose in my family. A wife who loves and puts up with me, and three crazy kids. Things that were beyond my wildest dreams when I was young, when I thought dreams couldn't get any wilder.

Someone who's known me since then recently said, "I never thought you could ever be somebody's husband." Or dad, I thought. But I am. And those "job titles" will be the only ones that really matter to me.

[1stwahine]

Re: Simple Question: What Got You Through?

Hmmmm..The turning point in my Life was when a Social Worker diagnosed me as having schizophrenia! I accepted it and told my Ohana and close friends what to expect. They prayed...the Social Worker was wrong.

I've been through so much of other things that would make anyone go nuts. Having children in Iraq and a son injured twice is no laughing matter. Daily struggles and heartaches are common...but I'm blessed. Ahhhhh...I'm truly BLESSED.

I have my Ohana, I am a grandmother, I have my MAMA.

You see...I believe in Christ Jesus. He has carried me when I was weak many times through-out my Life.



Auntie Lynn

[cynsaligia]

Re: Simple Question: What Got You Through?

While I know that a thread like this may invite tales of personal struggle, which I'm certain that I will find appropriate, I'd like to hear (read: read) what gotten this assembly of thinkers through their (read: your) toughest times. God is a given, and therefore ineligible for inlcusion as a "what got" answer. As a lifelong, rarely practicing and "Unconfirmed" Catholic, I offer my most sincere disclaimer. Fire off the inspire, yall.

what got me through the toughest time in my life (when i finally left my efftard effing effwad effshet abusive ex)? the obvious answer is my mom (who, to this day, does not know exactly what i went through, and god willing, never will). the other, less obvious answer is the then-free MSN Chat Honolulu. bcs i couldn't depend on the friends i had when i was with the ex, i made new friends in that chat room. several are still my closest, and real life, friends now.

[Surfingfarmboy]

Re: Simple Question: What Got You Through?

As many of you baseball fans know, the Boston Red Sox, until 2004, were essentially major league baseball's perennial chokers. Their World Series victory drought, recorded from 1919 to 2003 is one of the longest stretches recorded in American baseball championship futility. Prior to their momumental World Series victory of 2004, it seemed that the Red Sox simply could not, in the clutch, come through and deliver winning hits or make plays when they counted the most in championship play. The past failures, in championship play and some past franchise management, of the Bosox are legendary: The trading of Babe Ruth to the Yankees in 1919, the supposed curse of the Bambino, the 7th games of the World Series lost at Fenway in '67 and '75, the Bucky Dent homer in the '78 playoff game with Yankees, the Buckner error in game 6 of the '86 series, the 2003 7th game playoff loss to the Yankees with the Aaron Boone home run. Just when it seemed the Red Sox were finally going to win and take home the big prize at long last, someone (usually the Yankees) would come along, ruin those plans, and time after time, the collective hearts of the citizens of the Red Sox Nation were hopelessly broken until the arrival of next season's spring training.

Of course, the Red Sox did finally manage to win the World Series in 2004. I have to say, living in the heart of Red Sox Nation, that the amount of raw and pent-up emotion I saw first hand and with my own eyes, that spewed forth from Bosox fans, the moments and the first few days after their World Series victory, was in quantities I still find hard to fathom. I saw grown men and women crying. There were spotainious victory celebrations. Sons and daughters, grandsons and granddaughters, would visit the gravesites of loved ones who passed away, (the deceased probably never seeing a Red Sox championship in their lives), leaving Red Sox caps and pennents at the tombstones, as well as notes to the beyond breaking the news "Dad..they did it...the Red Sox won it all!". Men in their 90s were saying they could finally die in peace. I could have never imagined, as a relative newcomer to New England (one who has been a resident here less than 25 years!), that this Red Sox World Series meant so much to so many.

Later, in December of '04, the DVD recapping the Bosox World Series championship was released. It was titled "Faith Rewarded". I thought that title was about as good as a title the producers of that DVD could name it. I found that a particularly thoughtful title, because I intimately witnessed the struggles and past heartbreaks Red Sox fans dealt with for so long in their quest for a World Series championship, and that finally, their faith that the Red Sox would eventully win a World Series, despite their past record, was indeed rewarded.

Seeing how the Red Sox Nation faith in their team was ultimately rewarded had a profound effect on me. I, like nearly other person on this planet, have goals or priorities that have not been realized. I have my share of heartaches. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I question whether I will ever realize my dreams. I wonder if this constant daily stuggle of life is going to someday pay dividends in the end. Will it all be worth while? I'm certain the answer is: Absolutely! Without a doubt!

The Red Sox '04 World Series victory taught me that no matter how long the road is, or how heavy the load is in our daily lives, that if you truly believe, focus on the finish line ahead, and keep your faith, what you are striving for will eventully come to fruition. Your faith will be rewarded.

[scrivener]

Re: Simple Question: What Got You Through?

But what about all the Red Sox faithful who went to their graves before 2004?

[Surfingfarmboy]

Re: Simple Question: What Got You Through?

I think you ought to go back and re-read the part of my post in which I reported family members visiting the gravesites of their loved ones after the Bosox World Series victory...in which they broke the news of the Red Sox victory. I imagine that these relatives have the faith that their deceased family members are aware of the Bosox World Series victory in the ever-after land of their chosen religion...and they are with them in spirit to celebrate.

Scriv..I have faith that one day I will run the Boston Marathon again. I might go to my grave without realizing that dream, but as long as I'm alive, I have the faith that I will toe the line in Hopkinton one more time. If I don't though and I fail to achieve this dream, was my faith in vain? I don't think so. I'm going to keep trying as long as I can to qualify for Boston one more time, despite the odds. I do have the faith I will.

Faith is that internal belief inside of you that something you are striving will ultimately happen. It's a force that drives on when we really don't want to go on. If you don't have faith, you don't have dreams. And if you don't have a dream to hold on to, what is point of your life?

[Leo Lakio]

Re: Simple Question: What Got You Through?

The ability to recognize that any real change in my circumstances has to come from within, not from outside sources; the tools and drive to make those changes, no matter how difficult, challenging or painful; and the therapist (now deceased) who, rather than giving me those tools, taught me how to make them myself.

When you have everything you have believed in revealed as illusion and shattered before you, you can learn that you do not need to salvage nor rebuild nor replace them, in order to be happy.

[CranBeree]

Re: Simple Question: What Got You Through?

my children.

[tikiyaki]

Re: Simple Question: What Got You Through?

Prozac....not kidding, it worked. Did it, and changed to different ones for about 5 years, and then stopped. Occasionally, when I'm feeling the strain, I'll take one of what I have left in cabinet (it's a newer one, I forget the name right now) Doesn't mean you're crazy if you take antidepressants, just short of seratonin...you can't help it if your chemical levels are not perfect, so sometimes meds help.

Pretty much med free these days, but I'm glad that someone recommended i try it, cos it got me thru a really tough time.

Scrivener, I loved that Castaway movie....the message is simple, but effective.

[lavagal]

Re: Simple Question: What Got You Through?

Aside from recognizing the gifts that are my husband and my children, for whom I live as the best person I can be...I strive to have empathy.

I surprise myself. My blood boils when I read of a 5-year-old girl whose life was so painfully snuffed that it cannot be described. When I lived downtown in Honolulu Tower, I'd frequently witness domestics between men and women. One time I saw a woman thrown into a car and the man tried to slam the door into her head. Another time I saw a guy trying to yank away his partner's purse...it was welfare check day. She was determined to keep it. I would imagine feeding her kids was more important than buying him drugs.
Children are gifts. Love is a gift. When our main focus is ourselves, we lose that sense of empathy.
I caught the bus home from Hotel Street Monday. As I was plugging in my iPod (secured in my purse), and preparing to read my book, this black guy gestured to sit next to me. I barely looked at him, I just moved over. He didn't try to squeeze me toward the window. He didn't smell. He balanced himself as the bus took its turns too quickly. He was just a regular working stiff looking to get home. It was probably one of the most pleasant bus rides I had ever had. Based on what he looked like, a black guy in a T-shirt with a backpack, I could have been a rhymes with witch to him. Instead I put myself in his shoes and imagined what the hell life must be like to be a black guy in Hawaii. Sheesh, anywhere. It softened my heart.
Maybe if we were a little bit more generous with our smiles and our respect, there would be fewer people looking to escape with drugs and alcohol, which, when abused, tends to make us put ourselves first, instead of thinking of others.

So jdub, in my long-winded way I want to emphasize that when you're feeling abused by your boss, the check doesn't last long enough, your string broke in the middle of your favorite song and thoughts turn to exgirlfriends who've moved on, change your focus to someone else who would truly benefit from your attention. It will be an amazing lift to them and to yourself.

[blueyecicle]

Re: Simple Question: What Got You Through?

Now? It is my children and my own self made family...and some faith in the mix. Somehow God knew I needed more than just His comfort so he sent my children. They have really made me focus on what is important..

When I was young it was pure faith that no matter what was happening to me that God was holding my hand. I know it sounds very cliche but it is true.
I remember many dark days when I was a child and I remember sitting there and praying for God to take me away and walk me through the pain, And He did every time. I would lay there while my mom beat me and pray that He help me and somehow every time He walked me through to the other side and I woke up OK.
I still am amazed I survived but I did. And many days He comforted me. I am very blessed.