Looking for my Father

[Mattr804]

Hi everyone,

My name is Matt and well I have lived my entire life blinded by the truth who on who is my real dad. I just recently was informed by own mother that my real dad was from Hawaii. I'm 21 and have lived my whole life lead to belive that this other man in my moms life is my father. It's a very unique/stressful sitiuation that I'm in right now. Let me share it with you. This is all of the info that I have and all that my mom remembers. Hopefully you guys can be of some assistance.

Between the years 1983 to 1985 my mom use to rent out cottages along Gulf blvd in Maderia beach, Florida. She had a very rocky marriage and was very poor. Well one day a guy by the name of Ben came up to her and wanted to rent a cottage for his parents. After talking, they started dating, for only about 2 months. My mom said that he wanted to help her and her kids, he wanted to marry her. My mom said that he use to call her "his ever dearest susan/susie". According to my mother, he was a computer programmer/anaylst and always dressed to impress. After 2 months she had recieved notcied from a friend of Ben's stating that he passed away in a motorcycle accident.
Well she moved on and then I was born. She doesnt know if he acutally died or he just got his friend to tell her that so he wouldnt have to date her anymore. I could understand this, as she was still legally married at the time.

Ben doesnt know that I exist and wouldnt have known that I exist. I'm am on a mission to find him and his family: MY other family. If anyone could help or has any info please post up. I will give my number to anyone who has valuble info.

Recap

His name is Ben. I dont know the last name.
He was a computer programmer/analysist
He was in St. Pete/ Maderia Beach Floridia around 1983-85
He was from Hawaii. Wanted to bring his parents to the cottage to visit from Hawaii.
Took my mom on picnics
Might have died in a motorcycle accident in 1984/85 in florida.

Im sorry for such crappy info, but thats all I have to go on. My mother has put a $2500 ad in the Metro section of the St. Pete Times newspaper in search for him. I have posted several ads on Craigslist and other sites in search of him/his family.

To whoever sees this, Ben/ Ben's parents/friends of Ben. You have a healthy 21 year/old son/grandson that according to my mom is a spitting image of Ben. Ben would be in his 50's by now if hes alive, and hopefully his parents are still alive. I wouldbnt be surprised if Ben had his own family/kids etc, so Any fathers out there in thier 50's that dated a white woman in the 80's in floridia, think twice because this might be your son.

Soory for the length, and any help would be greatly appreciated,

Matt

[LocoBoy]

Re: ****Looking for my FATHER****

Wow, quite a story Matt and you'e got my internal mechanisms turning trying to think of every Ben I know. I know a few but dont fit the age, but I'll definately help in any way I can.

And the search for Matt's dad begins people...........

[admin]

Re: Looking for my Father

Just a friendly reminder (as with all similar requests that come through)... If you think you may have information about Ben, or even know Ben, exercise discretion insofar as you may be mistaken, or Ben may very well not want to be found.

Rather than posting or passing along information spontaneously, try and facilitate contact offline, and be sure to give the subject(s) of this search the chance to decide to move forward, or not. You should most certainly not post or pass on phone numbers, addresses, or other contact information.

Good luck in your search, Matt.

[Mattr804]

Just a friendly reminder (as with all similar requests that come through)... If you think you may have information about Ben, or even know Ben, exercise discretion insofar as you may be mistaken, or Ben may very well not want to be found.

Rather than posting or passing along information spontaneously, try and facilitate contact offline, and be sure to give the subject(s) of this search the chance to decide to move forward, or not. You should most certainly not post or pass on phone numbers, addresses, or other contact information.

Yes, I totally agree and understand. If anyone has information that could be considered "private" please PM me or email me and we can go from there. I wouldnt want to broadcast anyones private info on the web. Thanks.

Wow, quite a story Matt and you'e got my internal mechanisms turning trying to think of every Ben I know. I know a few but dont fit the age, but I'll definately help in any way I can.

And the search for Matt's dad begins people...........

Thanks man for helpin, it's greatly appreciated. He is of asian decent my mom said so hes not just a caucasion that happened to be from Hawaii if that helps any. He was in his early 30's when he dated my mom, and this was back in 84-85' so he defininlty would be in his early/mid 50's by now. He was the only family member that was in Florida at the time, so the rest of his family is either on the islands right now or were on the islands.
thanks, Matt

[SouthKona]

Re: Looking for my Father

Additional things to try:

You might be able to search through Florida state records or newspaper archives (obituaries) for the years 1984 & 1985, and look for:
(1) "Ben, Benjamin", etc, who died and/or
(2) Motorcycle fatalities

If you get any leads on a last name, you could then go to the Social Security death index for more info on that person.

You should also try contacting some geneaology sites for hints and postings, if you haven't done so yet.

Good luck.

[Mattr804]

Re: Looking for my Father

Additional things to try:

You might be able to search through Florida state records or newspaper archives (obituaries) for the years 1984 & 1985, and look for:
(1) "Ben, Benjamin", etc, who died and/or
(2) Motorcycle fatalities

If you get any leads on a last name, you could then go to the Social Security death index for more info on that person.

You should also try contacting some geneaology sites for hints and postings, if you haven't done so yet.

Good luck.

yes, surprisingly nobody has responded to my ad in the newspaper. I was atleast expecting prank callers or somthing like that. I will have to resort to obituaries if all else fails.. thanks for your advice,


Matt

[Mattr804]

Re: Looking for my Father

Still Looking. No replies from the Newspaper ad. I know you and your family is out there somewhere.

[tutusue]

Re: Looking for my Father

Does anyone know the name of the "people finder" service the daytime talk shows use? That's probably a long shot without a last name, tho'.

[Miulang]

Re: Looking for my Father

Matt:
Even though the following pdf was written for adopted children or birth parents seeking information about their children, it might have some information that will be helpful to you in trying to piece together more details to help you in your search.

And when you can gather up more information, here's one company that does searches for missing relatives.

You could also email the Montel Williams Show and tell your story to the staff. There might be enough human interest in your story that they would do the researching for you and have you on the show someday. I think Montel is the one who does most of the "long lost love" types of programs. Just don't have him put you on with Sylvia Brown, the supposed psychic!

Good luck. Your other family is out there somewhere.

Miulang

[Mattr804]

Re: Looking for my Father

Thanks for the post,

yes I will definlty take a look at the pdf and try to piece together some things. I will also try the website. Thanks for the tips/help

I've had numerous people tell me about the Montel Williams show. I've always been a bit skepitcal about broadcasting my life on national t.v. but now im starting to reconsider it. I dont know, I just feel uncomfortable about it.

I'll keep yall updated,

Thanks,

Matt

[Mattr804]

Re: Looking for my Father

callin any men aged around in thiers 50's maybe 60's that are named Ben that were in florida in the early-mid 80's and who works on computers. guess what! you have a son!

[Mattr804]

Re: Looking for my Father

father i know your out there!

[Kalihiboy]

Re: Looking for my Father

For what it's worth I havent seen my father in 30 years, been looking all over the place, hired search agencies, detectives, etc. I get information he is dead, yet no newspaper obit can be found, then I get information he is alive as well. So I know how you must feel.....

KalihiBoy

[Mattr804]

Re: Looking for my Father

Im sorry to hear that...

I dont know what could work much better than a 8th of page ad in the Saturday metro section of the Newspaper...but I'll never stop looking. I must fill the void...

[Mattr804]

Re: Looking for my Father

DaD! Donde Estas?