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from cosmo magazine:
from the new york times:
from gwhatchet.com:
from the campus word:
imagine that you invited me to your home for a beer and to watch a movie. imagine that upon my arrival, you tell me to make myself at home and relax on the couch. imagine further that you left your wallet, full of hundred dollar bills, on the coffee table before me. suddenly, your phone rings, and you find that you need to step out for a minute but that you'll be back shortly. you walk out the door, leaving your bunch of benjamins to wink at me temptingly. if i take one or more of them, is that "gray theft?"
of course not. it's plain old theft--a black and white issue.
i'm utterly disgusted that rape is being discussed in shades of gray.
Many experts feel that gray rape is in fact often a consequence of today’s hookup culture: lots of partying and flirting, plenty of alcohol, and ironically, the idea that women can be just as bold and adventurous about sex as men are.
...in the course of her reporting, Ms. Stepp said, she came across descriptions of “sexual encounters where usually both parties were very drunk and really didn’t know what they had said to each other the next morning.” In such cases, consent is uncertain. Such cases are more likely to emerge today, Ms. Stepp argued in the article, in an era when sexual boundaries and rules for women have loosened and when it has become socially acceptable for women to pursue casual sex.
“Girls go after guys just as often as guys go after girls these days,” Ms. Stepp said at the panel. In her article, she wrote, “The odd thing about the current equal-opportunity hookup culture is that a lot of guys may feel as uncomfortable and confused as their dates do when things end up in bed.”
...
“Is it possible that you could acquiesce at the beginning of the evening and by the time you’re too drunk to be heard or understood, it would be unfair for men to try to decipher when the no ends up actually arriving?” she asked.
“Girls go after guys just as often as guys go after girls these days,” Ms. Stepp said at the panel. In her article, she wrote, “The odd thing about the current equal-opportunity hookup culture is that a lot of guys may feel as uncomfortable and confused as their dates do when things end up in bed.”
...
“Is it possible that you could acquiesce at the beginning of the evening and by the time you’re too drunk to be heard or understood, it would be unfair for men to try to decipher when the no ends up actually arriving?” she asked.
from gwhatchet.com:
Senior James Daley woke up one morning naked and drunk in an unfamiliar apartment with condoms strewn about the room. A girl next to him rolled over and introduced herself.
"My first thought was, where am I?" Daley said. "My second was that I have to get out of here as fast as possible."
A friend filled Daley in about how he met the girl later that day.
"I guess she bought me a lot of drinks that night," Daley said. "And then when a friend tried to take me home she said 'no, I think I'll take him home.'"
Daley said he felt taken advantage of and would not have hooked up with her if he had not been so drunk.
Was this rape? Sexual assault?
"My first thought was, where am I?" Daley said. "My second was that I have to get out of here as fast as possible."
A friend filled Daley in about how he met the girl later that day.
"I guess she bought me a lot of drinks that night," Daley said. "And then when a friend tried to take me home she said 'no, I think I'll take him home.'"
Daley said he felt taken advantage of and would not have hooked up with her if he had not been so drunk.
Was this rape? Sexual assault?
Let me paint you another picture. At a frat party, there is a girl scantily clad in a mini skirt (so short, by the way, you can almost see the bottom of her ass), and a tank top with a plunging neckline. She is downing, and subsequently refilling her solow cup of jungle juice. She then picks out a brother who she wants to be her so-called “project” of the night. The two engage in flirtatious conversation and touching. Both are drunk, and it is obvious that she wants him. After an hour of being all over each other he asks her if she wants to “see his room” and she follows him upstairs. They begin to get down to business and in about a minute they are both naked on the frat boy’s bed. He asks if she wants to “you know” and she says “yes.” After he has successfully found and put on a condom he climbs on top of her and the right when he is at the cusp, she changes her mind and says drunkenly “actually…” But being so caught up in the moment, he disregards this as momentary insanity on her part and enters her anyway. Who is really to blame in this situation? Yes, the guy should have stopped when she said no, but didn’t she vehemently send the message that sex was what she wanted? I mean, she even showed up to the party looking like pure sex, so who is really at fault?
of course not. it's plain old theft--a black and white issue.
i'm utterly disgusted that rape is being discussed in shades of gray.
) It won't be a case of either of them wondering whether it was rape or not.
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