Making Peace & Letting Go

[sansei]

hi this is sansei and im now hearing on my mom's side of her tv the genius of aging and it reminded me of when my father when he had lung cancer and we had hospice and it made me think back to when we helped my father who had lung cancer on how we took care of him until he passed on and this was very difficult since he wanted to pass on at home and he had to wear oxygen tube's in his nostrol's for him to breathe and he's in heaven and knowing he's happy there.that was the most difficult time of my life so he was happy when we both talked to each other and we forgave one another and then i knew i had to let go so he's in peace and my heart is in peace so i thought to share this with everyone.

well thank's for your time

[timkona]

Re: on special of genius of aging

Oh yeah, sansei........hittin me in my heart.

Glad you both have peace, even in a difficult time.

[sansei]

Re: on special of genius of aging

hi this is sansei and in response to tim kona,my father passed on in 2000 in november and he was 77 and we are both at peace and his passing hit me the most since before leaving earth that we forgave one another so he could go in peace and im now at peace and have peace within my heart and even though a strict father due to two war's,he wasnt able to change until he became older and he realized to take it easy on me though i followed the rule's of our home and he showed me a bit of compassion so he was somewhat a good father so i thought to share this with everyone.also my mom's cousin's brother was once in maluhia hospital and my deceased uncle's sister was there until her family moved her into kuakini and she we believe is still living so i thought to share this with everyone.

well thank's for your time

[Leo Lakio]

Re: on special of genius of aging

we both talked to each other and we forgave one another and then i knew i had to let go so he's in peace and my heart is in peace

we are both at peace and his passing hit me the most since before leaving earth that we forgave one another so he could go in peace and im now at peace and have peace within my heart

That's true wisdom, sansei. Too many people hang on to bitterness even beyond death.

[kani-lehua]

Re: on special of genius of aging

we watched "the genius of aging" because one member of our family is a participant in project dana which is a support group for caregivers. through that program, she was awarded a $500 gift card from longs and was interviewed on the sunrise show on 6/30.

glad to hear that you and your father made peace with eachother, sansei before his passing. hopefully, but i'm not so sure, i can do the same with my "ex-family". i mentioned in another thread that i have been estranged from my mother for almost two years now and from my "sister" since this january. it's rather sad that for most of my life i was the black sheep but always tried to forgive them and hang on to very fragile relationships. the light bulb finally went off and i realized that i was living with a very broken spirit and could not continue on such a negative path. yes, i "divorced" them and am a much happier person for having done so. don't get me wrong, it still tugs at my heart when i think of the whole mess.

[Walkoff Balk]

Re: Making Peace & Letting Go

You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your relatives.
But at the same time, Blood is Thicker than Water.
As Why Hard.

[rparkerjr]

Re: Making Peace & Letting Go

For some that letting go process can be very difficult.

My Grandmother passed away in 1999 after multiple strokes and other complications. Since she had raised me as her own, it was very difficult for me to make the call to "pull the plug" even though I knew she wasnt coming back. Reflecting back, I know I made the right decision and know that she is at peace, but I think my Mom still struggles sometimes. Mom never got the chance to apologize for the stress she caused, or to show enough gratitude for what Grandma did for me. Even though she has come a long way, I still sense that she holds a bit of guilt in (we were raised Catholic, go figure ) and may for many more years.

Since I dont want to have those feelings when my Moms turn comes, Im going through the healing process now rather than later, and it is helpful to both of us. I just hope my Mom can purge the last bits of anger and guilt that hurt her.

Aloha
Junior

[kani-lehua]

Re: Making Peace & Letting Go

For some that letting go process can be very difficult.

I just hope my Mom can purge the last bits of anger and guilt that hurt her.

Aloha
Junior

exactly my point. my mother is the same way. her sister with whom i was very close, told me that she has always been angry. i do know that she has some guilt for not having reconciled with my father before he passed. he died at home and they were going through some very difficult times and contemplated a divorce.

as for me, well that's a different matter. i don't think she feels any guilt in imparting so much hurt my way. but, that's okay. i have chosen to live my life in a more positive manner and not let memories weigh my soul down.

regarding letting go: it was difficult to do so, but they, the ex-family, had done so a long time ago. i just made it official.

[Bob P]

Re: Making Peace & Letting Go

hi this is sansei and im now hearing on my mom's side of her tv the genius of aging and it reminded me of when my father when he had lung cancer and we had hospice and it made me think back to when we helped my father who had lung cancer on how we took care of him until he passed on and this was very difficult since he wanted to pass on at home and he had to wear oxygen tube's in his nostrol's for him to breathe and he's in heaven and knowing he's happy there.that was the most difficult time of my life so he was happy when we both talked to each other and we forgave one another and then i knew i had to let go so he's in peace and my heart is in peace so i thought to share this with everyone.

well thank's for your time

Good for you Sansei & God bless!

[Cnecki]

Re: Making Peace & Letting Go

SANSEI WHAT A TENDER HEART

Thank you all for sharing your stories and lives.

When I get the courage I will share too but I am not ready yet.

Forgiveness is what I am working on now, really, really difficult for me.

When I was young I got even, but now I am doing service for the people I dislike most!

So very difficult.... but for me necessary.