Spam, Spam, Spam

[Holonalu]

Yes, good evening all.
I would just like to say that my name is Holonalu, and i am a recovering Spamaholic, and was told that this was the site to seek help by some wahine over in Kailua. I have been clean of Spam now for over four days, but have been eating lots of pork roast and sour poi, hope that doesn't break my pledge. Anyways, hope to post some very serious things over here about Spam addiction........

Aloha nuinui
Holonalu..........will work for Spam....................

[Leo Lakio]

Re: Spam, Spam, Spam

i am a recovering Spamaholic

Ah, you poor thing. The "recovering" part. So sad...

[Adri]

Re: Spam, Spam, Spam

Sooooo many different kinds of spam to love these days. C'mon back to the dark side. You know you wanna

[kani-lehua]

Re: Spam, Spam, Spam

you're finally here! i sure do hope you post some of your great stories. we all deserve a couple of laughs! maui no ka oi, holonalu. but, then again, kailua is da bomb an no send da nephews ova hea.

[Holonalu]

Re: Spam, Spam, Spam

Well, day #6 of the no Spam deal, and I'm as shaky as a pig staring at the imu!!! Was down at Foodland, in the Spam isle, and automatically picked up a dozen or so cans and put them into the shopping cart, really didn't know what I was doing!!!! And, I was instinctively avoiding the Spam Lite!!!!!!!!!! The amazing things that addiction can do to the subconscious brain!!! Anyways, I'm staring at the cans as I type this, already broke loose one of the keys, just to hold it, thinking that might be some comfort......BUT NO!!!!!! DON'T OPEN THE CAN!!!! DON'T OPEN THE CAN!!! I'M JUST NOT THAT STRONG!!!!!!!!! Fortunately, there's an SA meeting tonight, Spamaholics Anonymous, at the Foodland parking lot, in just a few hours, why they have them there is beyond me, but if I can only hold out!!! Spam and eggs, Spam and poi, Spam and opihi, Spam balls coated with shredded coconut and deep fried, barbaqued Spam with teriyaki sauce, Spam omolettes, shoyu Spam stir fried with sardines and mini vienna sausage, sliced Spam right out of the can, Spam and miso soup, sweet and sour Spam!!!!!!!!!! GOD!!!!!!!! I JUST CAN'T HELP MYSELF!!!!!! STEP AWAY FROM THE CANS HOLO, STEP AWAY FROM THE CANS!!!! PUT DOWN THE KEY..........YOU CAN HANDLE THIS!!!! Baby stepping away from the Spam, tiny baby steps, putting down the key....Think I'm okay for now, but who knows what the future holds???????

Eh, Kani-Kani an Kani, hope all is well.......really think they'ld allow Doctor Shaka and Uncle Lolo over here??????? Does seem like a pretty malia site.

Aloha and okolemaluna.........Don't look at the Spam Holo, Don't look at the Spam..........Why is Spam always capitalized? No one knows?????

[cyleet99]

Re: Spam, Spam, Spam

Holonalu....you got extra cans? I come pick them up and take them out of the house.

(Yee Haw!! More Spam for meee!)

Just kidding--I got too many as it is. I hate the lite kind, too. Sorta like diet caffeine free Coke--why bother?

Welcome to HT!

[kani-lehua]

Re: Spam, Spam, Spam

some of those recipes do not sound appealing to me, HN. however, your short stories with dr. shaka and uncle lolo are off da richter scale. i'm wondering if you could contact admin, ryan/pzarquon, and ask him where/if you might be able to post them?

[Holonalu]

Re: Spam, Spam, Spam

Just got back from the SA meeting in front of Foodland, we were all, about twenty of us, repeating the mantra, "Just say no to Spam........Just say no to Spam.......Just say no to Spam", everything was going quite well, but I couldn't help but notice that we were all staring at Foodland, at the exact same area where the Spam isle is located. It's called the Spam isle by Spamaholics, and not the Spam aisle, because it's our own special island, a place to reflect upon the finer things in life, like Spam........Well, everything was going quite well, we were all supposedly getting out of the "Spam Zone", as our mentor puts it, when suddenly 4 of the members broke away from the group, and took off running for Foodland, yelling, "MUST HAVE SPAM!!!!!!!!! MUST HAVE SPAM!!!!!!!!"
They emerged from the store about twenty minutes later, with shopping carts filled to the brim with Spam, some even had cabbage and mustard, but no Spam lite!!!!! It was really kind of sad, one of our senior members had been with SA for over 10 years, obviously he broke down and just couldn't take it any longer.......I took my dozen or so cans of Spam and gave them to one of my neighbors, he's on the fourth floor..........I'm sorely tempted.....will keep you up to date..........

Aloha and okolemaluna
Just say no to Spam, Just say no to Spam,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[Walkoff Balk]

Re: Spam, Spam, Spam

Try the turkey flavored Spam, it doesn't quite taste the same as the lite, less salt, or regular.

[cyleet99]

Re: Spam, Spam, Spam

Turkey spam....just ewww. Yuckamundo.

(I have tried it, too. Sorry, WB.)

[Walkoff Balk]

Re: Spam, Spam, Spam

Turkey spam....just ewww. Yuckamundo.

(I have tried it, too. Sorry, WB.)

I agree. I don't like the taste of the turkey spam too. I meant that he won't have an addiction to Spam after eating the turkey flavored one.

[kani-lehua]

Re: Spam, Spam, Spam

spamunitsts, the whole lot of you! lol.

[cyleet99]

Re: Spam, Spam, Spam

I agree. I don't like the taste of the turkey spam too. I meant that he won't have an addiction to Spam after eating the turkey flavored one.

What an excellent idea....Hononalu oops Holonalu, that would be a good idea. Another realm of therapy for you!

Just as an aside: Does your name mean wandering wave? I figured the misspelled version would mean turtle wave. How close am I?

[Holonalu]

Re: Spam, Spam, Spam

Holonalu means to ride the surf, and I've been doing so for years, on a twenty foot racing kayak. You see, it all started years ago, when a fourty foot container, evidently loaded with Spam, fell off a Young Brothers barge, and was supposedly lost somewhere between Kahoolawe and Molokini. I immediately launched my kayak from Makenna Boat landing upon hearing the news, but, auwe!!! No container.............They said it wasn't loaded with any Spam lite,and that's why they think it may have sank... Divers, especially local guys, and the crew that located the Titanic, have been looking for that container for years, to no avail............

And now, don't know where to post this, I had it on another site, you may find it amusing........(Cept for you Kailua wahines)

This is something I wrote years ago, shortly after Rap Replinger heled on, it's kind of a one man two part play, you just have to imagine the vioces, Doctor Shaka, very Hawaiian voice, and the caller, very heavy Alberta Canada kind of accent..............

Well, it's two twenny seven AM hea in da cahport in lovely downtown Waimanalo, da weata is ono, wit juss a little breeze from da sout......Dis is, you wen guess em, Doctor Shaka, da doctah for da shaka, answering all your personal da kine questions regarding your shaka...........So, lets check da kine intranet phone ting.........Eh, you no what, we already get one caller......

Aloha an kakahiaka, dis is Doctor Shaka, who you stay?

Who I what??????

Who you stay, as in, whats your name????????

Well, that's kind of private.........

Okeydokes, whea you stay?????????

I'm in Waikiki, with my family

An, whea you stay from?????

Alberta, Canada.....

So, you stay in Canada???????

No, I'm in Waikiki, with my family, we're here on vacation

So, you stay local, yea???????

Local what???????

You stay local, Oahu family......

No, my family is here with me, we're from Canada

Okay, where you stay in Canada???

I'm in Waikiki

Okeydokes, tink i get em, you stay in Canada, but your ohana stay in Waikiki

No, I'M IN WAIKIKI!!!!!!!!

Hey, no need get all nua bruddah, if you like stay in Waikiki juss fly ovah hea....So, whats da pilikia???????

Pilikia????????

Yea, pilikia..What kine pilikia you get?????

I don't have any pilikia, I'm renting a Toyota

I no can help wit da Toyota, dis is Doctor Shaka, we don work on car problems, what's da problem??????

Well, it's my shaka........you see, my daughters and my wife say that my shaka is a little too "Uptight"

Ahhhhhh, now we stay gettin somewhea

How can you stay and get somewhere at the same time?

Eh, it's really easy,if you know stay whea you stay, den you stay goin, so you stay gettin somewhea. So, brah, how you trow da shaka?????

I don't throw anything, I just make the shaka........Don't know if I care for that "Bra" remark..

Well, you no what, could be da kine

What's "Da kine?"

We get dis da kine, dat da kine, da oddah da kine, any da kine, my da kine your da kine, her da kine, (careful wit dat one!!), his da kine, their da kine, there IS da kine, da kine you used to have, da kine you no more get, da kine you like get, da kine you glad you wen get rid of, and most importantly, da kine da kine!!!!!!!!

I don't quite get it

Okeydokes, go ahead an make da shaka, an tell me how she looks

Well, my thumb and small finger are about perpendicular to my palm

Perpendic what???????

At an acute angle to my hand

Hey, bruddah, if you get one cute shaka, amybe you should be on Hotel Street or Molkai......Now, go ahead, undo da shaka, an let your hand rest

OK

Alrighty, you stay all rested up????

Yes...

Now, lomi dat hand, and give it a good lulu

Lulu??????

Yea, shake em out!!!, now, how da buggah stay??

I don't have boogers, that was last week when I had a cold

Hey brah, as Doctor Shaka, I tink I already wen figur out your pililkia

I told you, I'm renting a Toyota!

Whatevahs brah..

Still don't like that "bra" comment..

Okeydokes brah...when you stay had da boogers, as in Hana buttah, you stay diggin da niele????????

The what??????

You stay diggin da niele????

I have no idea what you're talking about

You stay pick your nose??????

Well, maybe, but just a bit

I tink we wen fine your pilikia.

I'm renting a Toyota, I already told you that, and I can see it from my hotel window, it's not missing!!!!!!!!

No, you wen tro off your shaka by pickin your nose, could be one sprained finger, even more worse yet, could be carpettunnel dakine syndromes. Maybe even fatal, could in fact, make you go maki!!!!!!!

Go where, I'm in Waikiki, we don't even have Maki on the tour agenda, is that another island??????

Yea brah,,,,,,,,,really big one, so, you still stay pick da niele???????

I don't know what that means, but I don't think so........Was in the Toyota the other day, wife was driving, had my hand out the window, working on my shaka, daughter hits the switch and closes the window on my hand. My fingers got stuck........perhaps thats the problem?????

Dat could be da pilikia

I already told you, IT'S A TOYOTA!!!!!!!!!!

Okeydokes, dis is my diagnosssissssss, get some chili peppah watah, one Aku head, one taco, only da legs, da ress is no good, bottle of Okolehau, some awa juice, juss drink dat one, it's for da pain, huli up da oddah ingediments in one da kine blender, den soak your shaka hand in it for one week, should do da trick......

But we leave in two days.

Dats okay, juss bring em wit you, and continue soaking on da plane. At least you'll have plenny empty seats all around.............Nex caller please?

Aloha an okolemaluna, sure could use a slice of Spam right around now

[cyleet99]

Re: Spam, Spam, Spam

HAHAHAHA!! Very funny! I learned more in the last few minutes of reading Dr. Shaka than in 6 months living here!

Thanks for starting my day with big grins I go now to find Aku head and soak my poor shaka. (was diggin da niele....)