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  • Loss of a friend

    Matapule is feeling pretty down right now and I am turning to my HT ohana for support.

    I have just learned that a friend of mine commited suicide by gunshot wound 2 weeks ago. He was 54 y.o. I will always be grateful for the kindness he showed me and the breaks he gave me.

    I don't know the reason for his decision, whether health, economics, or personal.

    Farewell, Bobbie.
    Peace, Love, and Local Grindz

    People who form FIRM opinions with so little knowledge only pretend to be open-minded. They select their facts like food from a buffet. David R. Dow

  • #2
    Re: Loss of a friend

    Oh jeeze, that's heart breaking :_( You must be experiencing so many different emotions.
    "By concealing your desires, you may trick people into being cruel about the wrong thing." --Steven Aylett, Fain the Sorcerer
    "You gotta get me to the tall corn." --David Mamet, Spartan
    "
    Amateurs talk technology, professionals talk conditions." --(unknown)

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    • #3
      Re: Loss of a friend

      How sad, I am sorry to hear about your loss of a good friend. Loosing a friend can leave such a void in your heart, and sometimes tears is the only way to begin to be able to cope. Don't be afraid or ashamed to cry if you need to.
      Now run along and play, but don’t get into trouble.

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      • #4
        Re: Loss of a friend

        Ooooh, Matapule. That's tragic. I'm so sorry. I lost my best friend a year ago but not by her own hand. She was desperate to live. You, otoh, have to not only deal with the loss but also with the 'why'. Hang in there.

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        • #5
          Re: Loss of a friend

          Wow my bruddah I feel for you...in the last five years I have lost one friend that I have been buds with since ten years old and two other good buds that I have known since we were teens...all three to cancer.
          Take care and keep the love flowing.
          Aloha!

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          • #6
            Re: Loss of a friend

            I am very sorry to hear this. Please continue to reach out to people in your time of need. Whether it be calling friends, asking for help, talking to a counselor, meeting with your pastor or church friends, talking to family, etc. You may want to "write a letter" to your friend to help sort out your feelings. It's too bad that by your friend ending his(her?) pain, it didn't end, it transfered to a caring friend. My heart goes out to you for your loss.

            gchun

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            • #7
              Re: Loss of a friend

              That is terribly sad, Matapule. Your friends here have given some good advice. Right now is time for grief - don't cut that off too early. We're honored that you would reach out to us; if you need anything more, don't be afraid to ask.

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              • #8
                Re: Loss of a friend

                I am so sorry for your loss Matapule. It will take a while to come to terms with this but it's good that you have so many friends on her that you can turn to.

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                • #9
                  Re: Loss of a friend

                  ~Gives Matapule a hug~

                  It's a tough thing....

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                  • #10
                    Re: Loss of a friend

                    I'm so sorry, Matapule. I hope you will be able to remember the good times and good things about your friend as time goes by. You will probably never know the answer to the great "Why?" question. There's a lot that goes through the head of someone who is deeply depressed, and he probably could not have articulated it.

                    Again, I am very sorry.

                    Can't think of anything creative this time

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                    • #11
                      Re: Loss of a friend

                      This is indeed a tragic thing. My prayers go out to you and the family.
                      -kp!

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                      • #12
                        Re: Loss of a friend

                        My prayers to you and those who were close to your friend.

                        Dont dwell on the 'why'. Remember the good stuff about your buddy.



                        Aloha.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Loss of a friend

                          I am so sorry for your loss. Many years ago, I lost a relative to suicide. Our family has never gotten over it, really, but you do learn to go on. But, at this time, I echo the advice you've gotten about letting yourself grieve. There's no right or wrong; only you know the best way to do it, and the length of time you need. My prayers are with you...

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                          • #14
                            Re: Loss of a friend

                            My condolences to you and your friend's ohana. May the heavenly light shine upon you all. Peace & Aloha.

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                            • #15
                              Re: Loss of a friend

                              Originally posted by matapule View Post
                              I have just learned that a friend of mine commited suicide by gunshot wound 2 weeks ago. He was 54 y.o. I will always be grateful for the kindness he showed me and the breaks he gave me.
                              I don't know the reason for his decision, whether health, economics, or personal.
                              Farewell, Bobbie.
                              Sorry this happened. It can help to talk it out, but the pain never quite goes away.

                              While you'll always honor this person in your memories, it's also quite common to feel angry at them for what they decided to do: a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

                              FWIW, despite all the "suicide awareness & prevention" training in the world, it's also common for there to be no warning signs or anything else that would've helped anyone help them.
                              Youth may be wasted on the young, but retirement is wasted on the old.
                              Live like you're dying, invest like you're immortal.
                              We grow old if we stop playing, but it's never too late to have a happy childhood.
                              Forget about who you were-- discover who you are.

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