Life in Tonga

[matapule]

Matapule: What's the population density like in Tonga?

Don't know exactly, but when matapule lived there it was primarily rural, but that was changing rapidly. However, the villages themselves were relatively dense. A Tongan's status in society depended on how many children he fathered. A woman would not be accepted as a suitable wife until she had proven her fertility out of wedlock. (Matapule had many requests to de-flower the maidens to prove their fertility, but matapule graciously declined) It was not uncommon to have families with 20 children. Part of the Peace Corp's assignment was to teach family planning. This was a program that was requested by King Taufa'ahau Tupou Fa.

Do a lot of Tongans immigrate away?

Yes, many do in order to "make a better life for themselves" and because of limited resources there. I have talked to a few expatriate Tongans and they have been disappointed in their adopted country(s).

How big is the gap between the rich and the poor?

Virtually no gap, since everyone is poor by our standards. However, they are rich in tradition, moral fiber, and resolution.

Would most of the people in Tonga be considered middle class?

Tonga does not have a class system other than the royal family and a total of 33 nobles.

What's the drug abuse rate like down there?

When matapule lived there, drugs were nonexistent. Matapule doesn't know what the situation is today, but whatever it is, it is not the love affair that Americans have with drugs. There was a small problem with home-brew alcohol, taught by the US military during WWII. Just another legacy of the "greatest generation."

Do most Tongans garden/farm and grow their own food?

Yes, they are primarily subsistence farmers and fishermen. Copra used to be a cash crop, but that market has disappeared over the years.

Malo 'aupito for your interest in Tonga.

[MyopicJoe]

Re: Life in Tonga

Cool. Thanks for sharing your insights and observations, Matapule :_)

However, the villages themselves were relatively dense.

Hence the development of effective conflict resolution?

Matapule had many requests to de-flower the maidens to prove their fertility, but matapule graciously declined

Talk about a new meaning to the term "public servant"

It was not uncommon to have families with 20 children.

I assume when a woman married, the husband adopted the children born out of wedlock?

Does Tongan culture encourage having a lot of children because of a high mortality rate? Among newborns? Children? Adults?

I have talked to a few expatriate Tongans and they have been disappointed in their adopted country(s).

Though there are good points to our country, I think a lot of immigrants have unrealistic expectations.

Virtually no gap, since everyone is poor by our standards. However, they are rich in tradition, moral fiber, and resolution.

Sometimes material wealth comes at the expense of spiritual health.

[matapule]

Re: Life in Tonga

Hence the development of effective conflict resolution?

The matapule system for resolving community conflicts is ancient. There is virtually no privacy or anonimity in Tonga. Everyone is related to one extent or another. Therefore, it is of vital importance that all conflicts be resolved quickly to maintain harmony in the community. The tradition is that whatever the matapule decides is the final word and those involved accept that decision as just and fair and get on with their lives. On the other hand, the matapule has the obligation to insure that the decision is a win/win affair for those involved. The matapule must be more of a psychologist and only rarely a judge and jury.

Unfortunately, we in the US are primitive compared to Tongans with regards to conflict resolution. We have much to learn.

Talk about a new meaning to the term "public servant"

It would be a feather in a maiden's cap if she could prove her fertility via a palangi (American). In the late 1960's there were many half caste men and women in their mid-twenties who we part Anglo or part Black. The US military maintaned a large evacuation hospital in Nuku'alofa during WWII. The half caste children were another legacy of the "greatest generation." Too bad they weren't so great at being responsible for the children they fathered.

I assume when a woman married, the husband adopted the children born out of wedlock?

No. The Tongans have the pusi'aki system. When a child is born out of wedlock prior to marriage, the woman's parents care for the child until adult. The child would be called the grandparent's pusi'aki. The child never developed a close bond with their birth mother. They bonded with their grandparents.

The woman rarely married the man she had her first affair with. She generally married someone else.

Does Tongan culture encourage having a lot of children because of a high mortality rate? Among newborns? Children? Adults?

Tongans are one of the healthiest people in the world. They are generally quite long lived. One woman in our village claimed to be over 100 and I don't doubt it. She passed on while we were there.

Matapule's uaifi worked in family planning, pre-natal, and post natal care. She was trained as a mid-wife by the Peace Corps. She home delivered several babies out in the villages while there. She was responsible for about 10 villages. Never lost one! Infant and child mortality was very low.

Traditionally, a large family proved a man's virility. The more children you had, the higher esteem you earned in the village. That's why a man only wanted to marry a woman who had already proved her fertility.

Though there are good points to our country, I think a lot of immigrants have unrealistic expectations.

Although I was born in the US, you can include me in some disappointment with our culture. We do some things right, but we also do a whole bunch wrong.

Sometimes material wealth comes at the expense of spiritual health.

The US society needs a complete and thorough "health checkup."

[Kaonohi]

Re: Life in Tonga

I've been told that Tongans also believe in "community property." That is, whatever was there was there for everyone.

A lady anthropologist told me she had found a dead sea turtle, and hanged the shell to dry on her hale. As people came by, they would pick off the scales for their own use, without asking, until there was only the exoskeleton left.

No intent to criticize - it seems a logical strategy for a culture that is on an island with limited resources. If true (maka, can you help me with this?) it runs counter to the American/European view of 'private property.' I found no mention of this in my school studies of Polynesia, just this anecdote from a colleague.

[matapule]

Re: Life in Tonga

I've been told that Tongans also believe in "community property." That is, whatever was there was there for everyone.
No intent to criticize - it seems a logical strategy for a culture that is on an island with limited resources. If true (maka, can you help me with this?) it runs counter to the American/European view of 'private property.' I found no mention of this in my school studies of Polynesia, just this anecdote from a colleague.

Oh it is real! Tongans believe in the concept of "kole." This concept is one where if you admire or need something someone else has, they are required to give it to you. Matapule found this out within an hour of stepping foot into my village. Matapule admired a very nice hand-woven basket that one of the women was carrying. She said in effect, okay it's yours. Matapule had no need for another basket in his 10x20 fale, but matapule was required to take it. Consequently, matapule stopped wearing his wristwatch, wedding ring, etc. and matapule stopped admiring other peoples posessions. Matapule didn't want to lose his personal things so he always dressed down. Matapule was asked for inconsequential things from time to time, "kole", and away they went!

It is a great concept, kind of communistic, and it works well in Tonga. Westerners have much to learn from the other cultures of the world. As matapule said in a post above, NOTHING is private in Tonga. Matpule and uaifi had terrible "culture shock" when we first arrived in Tonga but got into the swing of things after a couple of months..............and it changed our lives forever. We had terrible culture shock when we returned to California and our families........but our lives had already been irreversible changed for the better in Tonga.

A lady anthropologist told me she had found a dead sea turtle, and hanged the shell to dry on her hale. As people came by, they would pick off the scales for their own use, without asking, until there was only the exoskeleton left.

Matapule was gifted with a sea turtle shell about 30 inches long (Matapule would never do that today because sea turtles are endangered and he volunteers for the sea turtle hatching project in Mexico - we hatched over 1000 turtles this last season, Aug through Nov). He heard that if you left the shell outside, the ants would come and eat the remaining bits of flesh so the shell would not turn rancid. He left it outside overnight. A villager's pig (they were allowed to roam free) came and ate the whole shell that night, leaving only remnants. It's the concept of "kole." The pig needed the shell more than matapule did.

[MyopicJoe]

Re: Life in Tonga

Any cultural practice is fine as long as everyone else is on the same page. I'm sure in Tonga they have ways of dealing with abuse of that practice, such as:

Consequently, matapule stopped wearing his wristwatch, wedding ring, etc. and matapule stopped admiring other peoples posessions. Matapule didn't want to lose his personal things so he always dressed down.

It takes time for all immigrants to integrate with their host society. Sometimes it doesn't happen within the first generation, but rather the second.