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  • Caring for our elderly

    This is kind of a sticky topic, but for those of us who have parents who are still alive, and in thinking about how we want our "golden years" to be played out, it's a necessary one to consider. The Advertiser has acknowledged the issue with a series of articles about caring for your elderly relatives.

    If your parents are still alive, or if you are legally responsible for an elderly relative, have you had discussions with them about what they expect you to do when they can longer care for themselves? Have you asked yourself how much you are willing to do to keep them safe and healthy?

    Hawai'i has the largest population of elderly per capita in the US, and that rate will accelerate rapidly. How you plan for your parents, relatives and yourselves will largely determine how many resources will be available for you when you need it.

    Miulang
    "Americans believe in three freedoms. Freedom of speech; freedom of religion; and the freedom to deny the other two to folks they don`t like.” --Mark Twain

  • #2
    Re: Caring for our elderly

    Wow! Tita Miulang...what a topic! I've been caring for my 80 yr.old MAMA (her BD tomarrow, officially 80 yrs. old) for a long time. I'm the youngest here in Hawai'i (total 7) and the only one with training in the medical field. It is my honor and duty as a daughter to take care of her. My own needs and wants is secondary to hers. We are best friends and enjoy eating at resturants, and traveling when we can. Our next trip is Vegas in March. Then Florida to visit my daughter. Her medical problems have increased but make her mad and the LADY can out run and catch you without any cane. She is loved by many and the elite...a classy lady who lights up any room. If someday, it will get harder to care for her, GOD will give me the strength and wisdom to take care of her...he has never failed me! I did the same for my late husband and it was the proper choice I made. I don't believe in Care Homes. When a loved one needs you in a time of need or nearing their end of life, isn't it your duty to take care of them personally? I know what I have done, am doing and would do...how about you? I understand people's situations may be different, I respect that. But com'on, everybody should have a plan if and when something does happen, right? What it boils down is one's own values and morals on family. I know my MAMA deserves not being in a Care Home! No one does! Today, there are other alternatives as having homecare and many other services. Even Respite Care in case one should need a break. Ok, I better shut-up! I'm taking a pill, I'm Manic! hehheheh

    Isn't it weird that when a topic concerning Illegal Activities, Drugs or something like this is posted, theres hardly any feedback? What is wrong with our society today, afraid to face the truth? Come'on let's talk story people!
    Last edited by 1stwahine; February 24, 2005, 08:52 AM.
    Be AKAMAI ~ KOKUA Hawai`i!
    Philippians 4:13 --- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Caring for our elderly

      Originally posted by 1stwahine
      Wow! Tita Miulang...what a topic! I've been caring for my 80 yr.old MAMA (her BD tomarrow, officially 80 yrs. old) for a long time. I'm the youngest here in Hawai'i (total 7) and the only one with training in the medical field. It is my honor and duty as a daughter to take care of her. My own needs and wants is secondary to hers. We are best friends and enjoy eating at resturants, and traveling when we can. Our next trip is Vegas in March. Then Florida to visit my daughter. Her medical problems have increased but make her mad and the LADY can out run and catch you without any cane. She is loved by many and the elite...a classy lady who lights up any room. If someday, it will get harder to care for her, GOD will give me the strength and wisdom to take care of her...he has never failed me! I did the same for my late husband and it was the proper choice I made. I don't believe in Care Homes. When a loved one needs you in a time of need or nearing their end of life, isn't it your duty to take care of them personally? I know what I have done, am doing and would do...how about you? I understand people's situations may be different, I respect that. But com'on, everybody should have a plan if and when something does happen, right? What it boils down is one's own values and morals on family. I know my MAMA deserves not being in a Care Home! No one does! Today, there are other alternatives as having homecare and many other services. Even Respite Care in case one should need a break. Ok, I better shut-up! I'm taking a pill, I'm Manic! hehheheh

      Isn't it weird that when a topic concerning Illegal Activities, Drugs or something like this is posted, theres hardly any feedback? What is wrong with our society today, afraid to face the truth? Come'on let's talk story people!
      My MAMA'S BIRTHDAY TODAY...My gift, reading this post to her and telling her my life is Secondary to hers! The flowers are arriving and can't wait to the fab. dinner for MAMA in Waikiki tonight!
      Be AKAMAI ~ KOKUA Hawai`i!
      Philippians 4:13 --- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Caring for our elderly

        Happy 80th Birthday, Tutu!
        Eh Aunty Lynn: The reason why nobody wants to post anything on this thread because planning for your parents' ill health and eventual death is something most of us would care not to think about until the time is actually upon us. I mean, how many of us and our parents have living wills? The time for things like that to be drawn up are when people can still make those decisions for themselves; unfortunately most of us are too busy living and pushing away thoughts of the inevitable to want to deal with these end-of-life issues.

        My intent in starting this thread was not so much to provoke arguments (I mean, who can argue against all of us eventually getting old, getting sick and dying) but to make people start to think about these things while there's still time.

        For instance, not too long ago, in order for a person to qualify for Medicare if they went into a nursing home, the State only looked at the person's assets going back the last 3 years. Now the window has expanded to the last 5 years. So if your parents are holding on to their life savings and they're 83 now, they'd better start giving away as much of their money--each person can give up to $10,000 a year to a relative tax free --or spend it themselves, (which is always better) or they will have to pay something like $2-3,000/month themselves for their nursing home care. And if they don't give away their money while they're still alive, the survivors are going to end up being liable for estate taxes, which is definitely something you don't want to deal with.

        Miulang
        "Americans believe in three freedoms. Freedom of speech; freedom of religion; and the freedom to deny the other two to folks they don`t like.” --Mark Twain

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Caring for our elderly

          Mahalo Tita Miulang from Tutu Lady...Yep, what you say is absolutely correct! Das why we travel to Vegas alot and spend.heheheheheehe This year we plan to go to Maimi, Seattle and Georgia to visit family. Hey, Seattle...I get to meet you!

          MAMA started many years ago giving away heirlooms, money, and then some. Everytime she trys to give me things, I ignore. I start screaming, my reaction in not wanting to face what is to eventually come someday. The flower arrangements are filling up my apartment, kinda reminds me of a funeral. My own survival and sanity to take care of her is due to people like you who I haven't even met.(See me Web Blogg)

          My own children got angry when asked to purchase the closing costs for my burial cause the cost is rising fast. We have burial plots and I'll be buried with my husband...they got angry not because they have to pay and take responsibility...because they can't handle the fact that I will die like their dad someday! As soldiers their supposed to be strong willed and with a can do attitude, when it comes to me...cry babies!
          Be AKAMAI ~ KOKUA Hawai`i!
          Philippians 4:13 --- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Caring for our elderly

            Originally posted by 1stwahine
            Das why we travel to Vegas alot and spend.heheheheheehe

            I suppose it should be ingrained or resident in my koko, but I don't got it like others:
            Just don't get the attraction of Las vegas.
            I mean, been there a few times, but can't unnastand the draw to make this apparently the 9th Hawaiian island, with a ton of expat islanders relocated.
            I mean, it's the antithesis of the tropics.
            suppose they go, cuz get choke odda islanders arready...

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Caring for our elderly

              Originally posted by kimo55
              I suppose it should be ingrained or resident in my koko, but I don't got it like others:
              Just don't get the attraction of Las vegas.
              I mean, been there a few times, but can't unnastand the draw to make this apparently the 9th Hawaiian island, with a ton of expat islanders relocated.
              I mean, it's the antithesis of the tropics.
              suppose they go, cuz get choke odda islanders arready...
              We don't go there for the ex-islanders! We go there cause MAMA enjoys pulling the one arm bandit even if she loses! The smile on her face lights up the whole place than their glittering lights...and one more thing, stay on topic! Wow, great lunch again, uh?...too much booze!
              Be AKAMAI ~ KOKUA Hawai`i!
              Philippians 4:13 --- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

              Comment

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