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Don't talk to my kids like that!

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  • Don't talk to my kids like that!

    So today I'm at Home Depot with my two daughters, 4 and 5, and it's about 330 in the afternoon. They're riding in the keiki kart, strapped in face to face, mostly having fun but also picking on each other, resulting in tattle telling and whining as to be expected. Kid I has been under the weather all week, but that doesn't stop Kid II from being sassy and from getting in Kid I's face. Face it, this is when Kid II should be taking a nap, but I have to bring them along to run errands.
    So I'm in line in the garden section and this older woman, haole, tall, 65ish, starts speaking sweetly to Kid II. I smile until I realize the she's pulling this passive aggresive shit on my kid so I get all New Jersey on her and tell her not to talk to my kids like that, back off and in case you're wondering, you just cut in line and you need to get behind the woman who is behind me.
    What the pho? Are you trying to show me how to raise my kids? Am I invisible and there is no adult with them and you need to step in and intervene? Are you a Franciscan nun in civies? This woman just oozed passive aggressive. Frankly, I don't think she was trying to make the world a better place. She was just being a bitch so I gave it back to her.
    What would you have done?
    Aloha from Lavagal

  • #2
    Re: Don't talk to my kids like that!

    Originally posted by lavagal
    She was just being a bitch so I gave it back to her.
    What would you have done?

    about the same but delivered all that as a rap to the tune of an eminem song.
    It could work!
    Last edited by kimo55; July 13, 2005, 09:24 PM.

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    • #3
      Re: Don't talk to my kids like that!

      Originally posted by lavagal
      so I get all New Jersey on her
      But you stay in Hawaii now.

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      • #4
        Re: Don't talk to my kids like that!

        i say drop the hammer...that passive aggressive garbage is what peeves me most about people...did you ask her why she wasn't looking after her own grandkids?...and to pull that crap on a 4-or-5 year old in front of her mom...despicable...power tripping on a kindergardener...i've seen better behavior from club owners in clearwater, FL...
        Don't be mean,
        try to help.

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        • #5
          Re: Don't talk to my kids like that!

          You did well LAVAGAL! You are a woman of class with two little one's. Giving back what the lady deserves in your own way is what makes every mother different in how we handle situations. If it was me...I would have gone BALISTIC, make the Bi*** eat dirt.

          Auntie Lynn aka Auntie Pupule
          Be AKAMAI ~ KOKUA Hawai`i!
          Philippians 4:13 --- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

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          • #6
            Re: Don't talk to my kids like that!

            Sure I would be pissed if this lady started "going off" on my kid for making a little noise. What did the lady say? I thought passive aggressive behavior is somewhat an act of defiance... I don't get it.

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            • #7
              Re: Don't talk to my kids like that!

              Originally posted by cezanne
              Sure I would be pissed if this lady started "going off" on my kid for making a little noise. What did the lady say? I thought passive aggressive behavior is somewhat an act of defiance... I don't get it.

              My thot on what passive aggresive is; when someone comes across kinda nicey-nicey and saccharine sweet but you may detect an undercurrent of manipulation and control... as soon as they can tell you have been fooled by their seemingly innocent demeanor or motives, they lay a game on ya.
              it's a sick mental manipulation.

              symptoms described variously:
              when someone would:
              say yes to someone when you really want to say no or even when you plan to not follow through then procrastinate or complain behind their back

              conveniently “forget” to complete the obligation or work on it in a very inefficient manner

              chronically show up late
              often resent the suggestions of others
              resent or criticize authority figures
              a master of mixed messages

              Passive aggresive behavior is rooted in codependency.
              Last edited by kimo55; July 14, 2005, 01:14 PM.

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              • #8
                Re: Don't talk to my kids like that!

                soooo...okay......whatever that meant Kimo but I'm sure there's substance in it.

                Bottom line is that no parent likes to be one upped by a total stranger when it comes to child rearing. Unless the child is posing a threat to him/herself by acting in a dangerous way, that lady should have politely minded her own business.

                Now if the kids were acting pretty snotty (and I've seen parents let their kids get away with a lot) I simply tell my kids within earshot of the offending family that it's not nice to act that way and people will think you're brats.

                Anyway I'd love to hear your remarks in a rap I have to admit, that response was intense!
                Life is what you make of it...so please read the instructions carefully.

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                • #9
                  Re: Don't talk to my kids like that!

                  slappem already!!

                  (da lady)
                  Reggie aka pinakboy
                  Reggie's Kaukau Time! blog
                  Raw Eats Veggie Videos
                  Recipe Tube TV!
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                  checkem out!!

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                  • #10
                    Re: Don't talk to my kids like that!

                    Kimo said:
                    My thot on what passive aggresive is; when someone comes across kinda nicey-nicey and saccharine sweet but you may detect an undercurrent of manipulation and control... as soon as they can tell you have been fooled by their seemingly innocent demeanor or motives, they lay a game on ya.
                    it's a sick mental manipulation.


                    Exactly. I grew up with a mom like that and became passive aggressive myself. I consider myself rehabilitated but sometimes catch myself falling into it. My husband is instrumental in getting me to say what I mean and feel without playing games of manipulation. It's not an easy thing to unlearn. But there's no reason anyone should have to put up with it. That's why I called her on it.
                    @
                    Aloha from Lavagal

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                    • #11
                      Re: Don't talk to my kids like that!

                      Originally posted by lavagal
                      That's why I called her on it.

                      a cattleprod works well, too, if ya don't feel like talking to da jerk.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Don't talk to my kids like that!

                        Passive aggressive is like the little old lady whose daughter finds her sitting in a chair in the dark:

                        Daughter: "Mother, why are you sitting in the dark like that?"
                        Mother: "Oh, don't worry about me, dear. I don't need to read my book right now."
                        Daughter: "Well, why don't you turn on the lamp anyway?"
                        Mother: "Oh no, dear. Don't worry about me. I like sitting in the dark with this heavy book in my lap."

                        Miulang
                        "Americans believe in three freedoms. Freedom of speech; freedom of religion; and the freedom to deny the other two to folks they don`t like.” --Mark Twain

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                        • #13
                          Re: Don't talk to my kids like that!

                          Originally posted by lavagal
                          So I'm in line in the garden section and this older woman, haole, tall, 65ish, starts speaking sweetly to Kid II. I smile until I realize the she's pulling this passive aggresive shit on my kid
                          I don't know what that means in this context. How can I think anything if I don't know what she said? Maybe your whiney kids were the ones being "passive aggressive." I'm not saying that to be insulting -- isn't that what whining is? So I guess I don't really understand your post.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Don't talk to my kids like that!

                            I imagine a passive-aggressive drive-by parenting snipe would go something like this.

                            Stranger (to your kids, but loud enough for you, if not the whole store, to hear): "Now, kids, settle down... I know your mom might not be paying attention to you, but that's no excuse to behave like that..."

                            I would've just taken the same snarky approach and walk up and say to my kids, "Now, kids, what did I tell you about talking to nosy busybodies with big noses?"

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                            • #15
                              Re: Don't talk to my kids like that!

                              Originally posted by MadAzza
                              I don't know what that means in this context. How can I think anything if I don't know what she said? Maybe your whiney kids were the ones being "passive aggressive." I'm not saying that to be insulting -- isn't that what whining is? So I guess I don't really understand your post.

                              Maybe you don't understand my post, but you definitely have got a handle on passive aggressiveness.
                              Aloha from Lavagal

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