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  • School Bullying

    Last night at a PTA meeting at my son's middle school it was said that $12,000 was spent by the DOE for our school's anti-bullying program. I myself was shocked to hear this because I felt the money could have been used for something better than a program that the kids today would shrug off. Don't get me wrong bullying is not a good thing, but no matter how much money you spend on workshops for the staff bullying will always be there. I think these solutions I found in on the web are better and cheaper than a unproving anti-bullying program. If your child's school has a program that has worked, let's share it ,so I can pass it on.

    Did any of you out there bully as a child or was a victim of a bully? Please share your stories.

    I myself was taught to stand up to bullies, I remember getting my lunch money "chopped" almost everyday untill I just said "no". Sure I got punched in the arm for it ,but I was never bothered again.
    Listen to KEITH AND THE GIRLsigpic

    Stupid people come in all flavors-buzz1941
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  • #2
    Re: School Bullying

    Punched in the arm is one thing, but being seriously pounded on by a "few" guys at once is another matter. It was hard being one of the few haole boys going to Lincoln, Stevenson and Roosevelt- (Grad '79). I had to take Karate to learn to defend myself and even then it didn't stop till I hid an aluminum baseball bat in the bushes and put the "Ring Leader" in the hospital. And almost got charged with assault myself till we (parents and I) proved the previous harassment through copies of written complaints to the schools. I don't know how to help bullies get over their low-self esteem. But they feel the need to prove their worth or manliness through intimidation of others. Some sort of psychological help directly for the offenders would prove to be most helpful in my opinion.
    Life is either an adventure... or you're not doing it right!!!

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    • #3
      Re: School Bullying

      I read (I don't remember where, but it was some kind of legit study) that that whole thing about bullies having low self-esteem is complete bull. Their self-esteem (in this study) was found to be *higher* than average. Of course, it figures that modern America's typically wimpy way of looking at criminal behavior is to blame anyone but the perpetrator. "He has low self-esteem! He must have been abused! Poor baby!"

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      • #4
        Re: School Bullying

        I didn't imply that it was anyone else's fault but the perpetrator(s) that they have a self-esteem or any other kind of problem. Any solution to the problem of bullying, to be affective, has to be directed at the perpetrator not everyone else on how to deal with "that" kind of person. Any other approach is truly making it everyone else's responsibility instead of the person who's the cause.
        Life is either an adventure... or you're not doing it right!!!

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        • #5
          Re: School Bullying

          I didn't mean to imply that you implied that ... um ...

          Well, anyway ... I was just using something you wrote as a starting point for another point. Or something like that!

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          • #6
            Re: School Bullying

            eh Menehune Man, you know some 78 grads from Roosevelt? My girlfriend was a 78 grad from Roosevelt.
            Life is what you make of it...so please read the instructions carefully.

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            • #7
              Re: School Bullying

              Like everyone else here, there were a couple of bullies in my high school. There was also a midget who attended class there, and the bullies used to pick on him, although several of us continually tried to stop them.
              One day a buddy and I walked around a corner and found the two bullies playing catch with the midget.

              We went ballistic and dove into the bullies. I'm not a fighter, but I guess anger and adrenalin do give you extra strength -- I punched one of the bullies, just once, and broke his jaw.
              Never had any further problem from them.
              .
              .

              That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

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              • #8
                Re: School Bullying

                Originally posted by craigwatanabe
                eh Menehune Man, you know some 78 grads from Roosevelt? My girlfriend was a 78 grad from Roosevelt.
                Man, what a small world. I am a 78 Roosevelt grad (took the Manoa, Stevenson, Roosevelt path).

                *****************

                Back on topic. Having witnessed actions similar to what Menehune Man described, and having “dealt” with other lesser acts of bullying myself, I would say that spending some $$ on trying to minimize this problem in our public schools is a step in the right direction and is worth a try. I had a lot of friends in private school at that time (then as now many entered private school right after they “graduated” from elementary school), and talking to them it was clear that one of the great benefits of a private school education was the fact that school administrators actively regulated disruptive behavior on the campus. Blatant acts of bullying as was common in public school would earn you in private school an opportunity to have a size 10 boot applied to your arse, and no goodbyes as you sailed out the door.

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                • #9
                  Re: School Bullying

                  Bullying seems to have been around forever. I say this since I remember it in my schools and I am pretty old, so there you go. Anyway, I think it may be inherently more prevalent in the US of A. An exchange student in my current little town in CO wrote, in an interview with the local paper, that, while he loved his new friends and his school, he was surprised at how judgemental the kids were of one another, how cliquish. He learned quickly that if you associated with one group, it was considered uncool to hang with another. The boy was from Sweden and had never experience that, nor had he experienced much bullying at home. I know that's just one instance, but it made me wonder if there isn't something about our society that contributes to bullying. I've often heard the expression that children are cruel. I've also often wondered why?
                  I've heard from local school officials that cyber-bullying has replaced or has been added to the bullying mix of late. Kids, both boys and girls, get into chat rooms and verbally trash classmates. It all makes me quite sad, actually. Maybe kindness and civility should be taught as a required class in middle school.

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                  • #10
                    Re: School Bullying

                    Just because bullying has been occuring here forever doesn't mean is should continue. When I was a kid, bullying was very common and most adults felt it was a normal part of growing up but I see now that kind of thinking is dead wrong. My parents actually thought that if I couldn't stand up to bullies when I was kid, I would never make it as an adult. Things need to change and are changing.

                    There may be some truth that bullying is more of a problem here in Hawaii. This could come from Japanese culture where being a bully is sometimes seen as positive. Or it could come from native Hawaiian culture where picking on the weak was always the norm.

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                    • #11
                      Re: School Bullying

                      Originally posted by Paul
                      There may be some truth that bullying is more of a problem here in Hawaii. This could come from Japanese culture where being a bully is sometimes seen as positive. Or it could come from native Hawaiian culture where picking on the weak was always the norm.
                      Do you have any reference sources that can explain these statements?

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                      • #12
                        Re: School Bullying

                        I had the same question.

                        I'm not even going to touch the assertion that Hawaiian culture normalized attacks on the weak. Sheesh.

                        As for Japanese culture? Well, for one, Japanese culture isn't Hawaii culture. But even if you're going to claim parallels, my sense of the Japanese perspective on bullying to be quite the opposite of a "positive."

                        Some would say bullying has reached epidemic levels in Japan. (Internet-based bullying is more and more commonly cited in news articles on school crimes, usually a victim finally snapping.) It's a problem that is being targeted by programs at the highest levels of government. The fact that it is perhaps more common in Japan than in some other countries (though I'd doubt that) points to a larger social ill, perhaps (though "permissive parents" doesn't equal "bully promoters"), but definitely doesn't amount to condoning it.

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                        • #13
                          Re: School Bullying

                          Bringing it back to the original thread...

                          "Last night at a PTA meeting at my son's middle school it was said that $12,000 was spent by the DOE for our school's anti-bullying program"

                          I think that while every school probably has a bully or two in the school... the issue is that the Money was spent by that school for that reason...

                          The school obviously requested the money to be allocated and the DOE believed that the money would be well spent therefore the state allocated it.
                          We are not yet in the Weight Student Formula (WSF) allocations yet...therefore all requests such as this needed to be approved at a State level.

                          If we are truly going to try and bring schools to a community level... then each school needs to be allowed to spend the money in the way that they need to spend it.

                          If bullying is a problem at that school, then maybe they prevented a future COLUMBINE????

                          We have to enpower each school to make there own decisions and when we as taxpayers step in and try to decide how individual schools in different communities should spend there money... that is not right.

                          While I understand that we all have a vested future in the long term affects of all of our children... we need to let the dollars get spent locally by the schools in the way that they feel is most effective.

                          We all know there are big differences in the schools.

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                          • #14
                            Re: School Bullying

                            As long as alpha behavior is tolerated in the wild, there will be bullies amongst the civilized.

                            pax

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                            • #15
                              Re: School Bullying

                              [QUOTE=Paul]Just because bullying has been occuring here forever doesn't mean is should continue.....QUOTE]

                              I did not mean to imply that just because bullying has been around forever it should be allowed to continue. Quite the contrary. I think that it's encouraging to see schools addressing the issue and bringing parents into the discussion. The truth is that bullying does not stop when kids graduate from school. There is plenty of bullying that happens at the hands - or mouths - of adults too. If we can instill kindness for our fellow humans as a value to be cherished, and an individual school can make that happen for $12,000, I say that's money well spent.
                              Last edited by toeknee; December 22, 2005, 10:41 AM.

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