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  • I think I have depression

    I don't know how I got to the conclusion, but I think I have depression.

    Lately, I have been less and less excited about just going out with family/friends or just by myself (walking around, buying stuff, etc) and tonight, I just talked myself out of going out tomorrow to continue my project or just buy something for myself, just to say home and play computer games, surf the internet, or just be lazy.

    I took a few tests, but since none of them would diagnose what I have, I found one that just told me what I selected:

    Source
    - Lack of motivation
    - Irritability
    - Trouble concentrating
    - Feelings of isolation, not as involved with
    family and friends
    - Loss of interest in favorite activities
    - Hopelessness
    - Feeling worthless or guilty for no reason
    - Trouble sleeping
    The problem is, that I don't have medical insurance, as my Dad's plan won't cover me because I'm over 18 and should get a job right now; so if I go to a doctor, I'm afraid of the cost and the treatment if this is real.

    I know that I should start looking for help offline, but this is really scary for me, and HawaiiThreads is the only place I can turn to right now.
    How'd I get so white and nerdy?

  • #2
    Re: I think I have depression

    Adrian, I'm glad you are asking for help. Mental Illness can hit at anytime, any age, no matter what status or what background you come from. Medical or no medical insurance is of no importance right now. Your life is. Please seek immediate help asap. Please Call Suicide/Crisis (ACCESS/ Assessment) 808 832-3100 or 800 753-6879

    If you need someone to talk to first, please call me. 24/7, you know my number. Adrian, what you are feeling right now will pass. Keep strong. Believe and pray. The power of prayer will see you through. He hears. He will carry you when you are weak...

    Auntie Lynn
    Be AKAMAI ~ KOKUA Hawai`i!
    Philippians 4:13 --- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: I think I have depression

      Originally posted by 1stwahine
      Adrian, I'm glad you are asking for help. Mental Illness can hit at anytime, any age, no matter what status or what background you come from. Medical or no medical insurance is of no importance right now. Your life is. Please seek immediate help asap. Please Call Suicide/Crisis (ACCESS/ Assessment) 808 832-3100 or 800 753-6879
      I don't have the feelings to do suicide or anything near it, its just that I don't have the "energy" to go out and stuff. I'm always at home on the computer surfing the internet, posting on message boards, or playing games.

      Plus, I have mood swings like a female. While I was typing the first post, I felt really down, but a few minutes later, I was happy and playing a video game with my siblings. Its like I have two personalities or something.

      I just hope that I can keep my mind long enough to help myself before it becomes something else.

      EDIT:

      Okay, I dug around and found my psychology book from a few quarters ago. It says that depression is marked by feelings of despondency, powerlessness, and hopelessness. Sometimes, depression comes from "learned helpnessless". And according to the book: during the school year, 80% of all college students suffer some symptoms of depression. Some of the variables in causing it is:
      - stresses from college work and pressure to choose a career can leave students feeling that they are missing out on fun or that all their hard work is meaningless.
      - Isolation and loneliness are common when students leave their support groups behind.
      - Problems with studying and grades frequently trigger depression. Many students start college with high aspirations and little prior experience with failure. At the same time, many lack basic skills necessary for academic success.
      - Students who find it difficult to live up to their idealized images of themselves are especially prone to depression.


      One of the ways of coping with depression, is to take daily tasks one step at a time and chip away at them. That way, you are less likely to feel overwhelmed, helpless, or hopeless. Also, keeping a daily schedule filled with things to do every hour and letting it progress from easy tasks to harder ones helps.

      --------------------

      I thought I'd never use psychology out of that class.
      Last edited by adrian; December 26, 2005, 08:11 AM.
      How'd I get so white and nerdy?

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: I think I have depression

        Call NAMI Oahu (National Association for the Mentally Ill). They are supported in part by United Way and they probably can help get you into counseling for free or point you to someplace that can help you. You need to take care of yourself, Adrian, before the symptoms get worse. Sitting in front of the computer all day does not a life make.

        Miulang

        National Alliance For The Mentally Ill (NAMI Oahu)

        Address:
        770 Kapiolani Boulevard, #613
        Honolulu, HI 96813
        Phone : (808) 591-1297
        Fax (808) 591-2058

        Internet:
        Email : namioahu@verizon.net
        Website : http://www.nami.org

        Details:
        Support groups, lending library of books and videos, government advocacy, one-on-one suport, educational presentations, speakers bureau, career counseling, student education, newsletter, information and referral services. NAMI Oahu promotes Mental Health Awareness Week in May and Mental Illness Awareness Week in October, and much more.
        "Americans believe in three freedoms. Freedom of speech; freedom of religion; and the freedom to deny the other two to folks they don`t like.” --Mark Twain

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: I think I have depression

          Originally posted by doc1456
          I just hope that I can keep my mind long enough to help myself before it becomes something else.
          My dear Adrian, these words you write is strong enough and telling me something. I suffer from Mental Illness as everybody knows on the Forum. I am not ashame to say it. There are medications to help you to feel better and become balance again. Sometimes, you could be chemically imbalance. Sometimes, you may be going through emotional problems. Maybe it could be both. I don't know. I'm no expert. I am just a sufferer.

          The bright side is that there is help. You already know and feel that something is wrong with you. You are asking for HELP. That is great! Whatever you do, do not stop asking. Do not stop talking about it. Seek treatment ASAP! Please.

          Depression is sneaky. It may seem like nothing at first and something you can handle like a cold. Then it overtakes you. Soon you find yourself in your room, in bed. A captive in your own little world until it may be too late.

          Yes, Adrain. You may have Depression. The only way you will know is to be checked by a professional. It is your precious LIFE we're talking about. I can not stress enough how important your life is...

          Please take care!

          Auntie Lynn

          BTW: If the only way I'm going to get to see you is through my computer...
          call me, I'm having problems!
          Be AKAMAI ~ KOKUA Hawai`i!
          Philippians 4:13 --- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: I think I have depression

            For a short while, I thought I was depressed. When I was around 15/16. Was doing horrible in school, spent zero time with my friends, was always online (it didn't help too much that a lot of the people I made friends with in AOL chats were totally horrid drama queens, I would bet that this was a starting point of my problems), generally felt out of the loop, and it eventually led to me cutting class and altogether staying home from school and completely isolating myself from everyone but the people through the computer, and I was supposed to be an honor student. I'm quite a lazy person. But I got some good help for it.

            I told my parents "I think I might be depressed" and after some grumbling as they were pissed off about me cutting school, we made a plan to see what I could do about this rut. We first talked to my counselor about my cutting class. I didn't want to go back after I had skipped out on so much...I was embarrassed. My counselor referred me to some therapist ... um ... crap .... well I'm sorry to say I can't remember the name or the company, all I know is her name was Melinda something ...Corr...Carr...bah... and she used to work with some type of child therapy group in the Gold Bond building. But she moved to an office in Kaimuki near the Humane Society...can't recall the name, it's a blue building you can pass on a bus route to Kaimuki High.

            Well, my completely useless info aside, she really helped me out. We basically just met once a week and talked. I talked to her during summer school and then it continued into the regular school year, and eventually we stopped when I felt better. I talked about how I felt, what I did every day, what I liked. We made up this contract thing to motivate me to go to school (I go for two weeks straight, and I get a small reward, nothing extravagent). She taught me how to play backgammon too, which was what we did a lot during our sessions.

            So...well, I didn't help much...you probably think I'm implying that you go play backgammon. I really wish I knew who it was the school referred me to...maybe I'll try to dig up some info on them. All I can say is...don't be afraid of help. I was so scared just thinking about the possibility of being depressed and scared about what my parents were thinking about me. I didn't even want to go to the therapy sessions at first, I wouldn't even tell my friends what I was doing everytime I got called out of class or didn't take the bus home with them. I even purposefully missed a couple of sessions because I was just annoyed with the whole thing. But it really helped me out in the long run...I don't even cut class anymore. I'm going out more often, socializing, and generally feeling happy. I'm still lazy, but I'm able to get myself to do what I need to do now, rather than what I want to do. And it's not at all bad.

            So regardless of who you seek out for professional assistance, just know that I've got no shame in embarrassing myself here in front of everyone so long as it can help you out, buddy.
            Last edited by kupomog; December 26, 2005, 06:36 PM.
            myspace | facebook | puppy moonwalk

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: I think I have depression

              Once again, it goes to show our Online Community is different from any other. We are an Ohana here. When one of us is in need of answers we find solutions or try to. We are not ashame of sharing our intimate and personal experiences so that others can benefit.

              Kupomog, mahalo for sharing and being who you are.

              Auntie Lynn
              Be AKAMAI ~ KOKUA Hawai`i!
              Philippians 4:13 --- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: I think I have depression

                Adrian,

                Good luck with your encounter with what you are going through. I believe you have taken the biggest step in identifying your problem by discussing it here and are not in denial. Hope all goes well with you, bruddah. Just know that you have a large support group here at Hawaii Threads.
                Whoa, Mista Buss Driva, eh, you can stop the buss o wat?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: I think I have depression

                  I don't know how much time you spend on your computer but too much time can lead to depression. In a virtual world everything is perfect and more understandable because you create that environment. But in the real world, life hurts.

                  I tell my kids (all six of them) that the world isn't a perfect place and that nobody said life would be fair. But you have to deal with it, that's what makes you a stronger person. Today's lifestyle has allowed many of us to hide away with our Ipods and lifestyle simulation games (Sims). We disconnect from society and engage in a virtual world where the good life is attainable and controlled.

                  One of my boys is a die hard gamer and all he plays is those first shooter games like Call to Duty. After playing he's noticable moody but after playing with his younger brothers he's back to his cheery self.

                  Sometimes I have to drag him away from his computer so we can do family things like going to the beach or shopping together. Sometimes it's things like reading together or just talking in the living room. But my wife and I do these things because we know we have to reconnect him to the real world.

                  But let's take a look at depression. It in itself is the result of the body's inability to produce the necessary chemicals to keep you emotionally balanced. Diet plays an important role here as certain foods nourish parts of your body for essential glandular function. Glands produce the necessary chemicals to keep your body healthy and balanced.

                  Sometimes diet isn't enough when you're clinically depressed and you need a booster. That's where medicines come into play and only a psychiatrist (not a psychologist) can help.

                  One word of caution though. Before seeking professional help you really must consider if you've exhausted all other measures of therapy. This is the legal issue of seeking psychological help.

                  Once you've been treated for mental illness and it's in your medical records, that little episode in your life can come back to haunt you when looking for a job.

                  You'll see that question in almost all job applications. If you answer incorrectly and your employer finds out later when an emotional issue arises at your job to the point of intervention by your company's Human Resources Department and they find out you lied on your job application...that's grounds for immediate termination.

                  This is why I suggest try treating mental illness as a dietary issue first and seek a diet that will put your body in a pharmacological balance.

                  What are the basics for a healthy diet? Plenty of water, eat fruits and veggies more often instead of sugary snacks. Get plenty of sleep and get out and exercise in the sun. It's amazing how much sunlight has a role in healthy living. And breathe deep. The more you oxygenate your body the healthier it becomes. Your organs thrive on oxygen...give plenty of it.

                  If all that doesn't help then you are a candidate for medical treatment. How do I know all this? I've been there. Good luck
                  Life is what you make of it...so please read the instructions carefully.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: I think I have depression

                    Adrian, you're at a challenging point in your life, with so many decisions and new pressures bearing down on you; you are not alone in feeling the things that you do. I only know you from your posts, but you seem to be curious and clever - skills that will serve you well as you get through this hard time, and other points in your life.

                    Keep paying attention to how you are feeling and keep discussing it with others (many great options have been offered here); I suspect you are feeling a form of depression that many people have gone through, but that's not to pooh-pooh it, by any means. You might reach a point where you need more professional treatment than any of us can provide, or you may work your way through this with help from friends and family.

                    Discuss it further with good listeners whose opinions you trust, and do it face-to-face. Unlike some folks here, I can not speak from personal experience with clinical depression, though both my sister and daughter have undergone treatment for it, as have many friends. If it gets to that point for you, take hope in knowing that it can be treated successfully, and that there are options for dealing with the financial burdens of treatment.

                    And don't dismiss the points people have made about too much computer time and poor dietary habits, either. Minor adjustments in your lifestyle can often have amazing results.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: I think I have depression

                      Originally posted by craigwatanabe
                      I tell my kids (all six of them) that the world isn't a perfect place and that nobody said life would be fair. But you have to deal with it...
                      How very true. It's a hard fact to accept, but we all had to learn it, one way or another. Hearing it from my parents was a lot easier to accept than when the same lesson would slap me upside the head later on.

                      My advice to children (including my own) is that if it disturbs you how cruel people around the world can be, then start living the life that you would like to see around you. Be kind, give support, donate time and/or money, teach by example. We crush youthful activism too easily in our culture.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: I think I have depression

                        "...One word of caution though. Before seeking professional help you really must consider if you've exhausted all other measures of therapy. This is the legal issue of seeking psychological help.

                        Once you've been treated for mental illness and it's in your medical records, that little episode in your life can come back to haunt you when looking for a job.

                        You'll see that question in almost all job applications. If you answer incorrectly and your employer finds out later when an emotional issue arises at your job to the point of intervention by your company's Human Resources Department and they find out you lied on your job application...that's grounds for immediate termination.

                        This is why I suggest try treating mental illness as a dietary issue first and seek a diet that will put your body in a pharmacological balance...."

                        Craig, I don't know where you were applying for a job or when you encountered the health question on an application form, but all of the job applications I've filled out in the last 6 months have not asked about any mental conditions. It would be illegal for a company to discriminate against you for that reason anyway. Lots of "normal" people seek psychological counseling because frankly, it's getting more difficult and stressful to live in this society now than ever before. A counselor doesn't have to be a psychiatrist in order to be effective: that counselor could be a psychologist, a social worker or a religious leader. You only need a psychiatrist if you need medications to treat your depression.

                        I agree with you that diet and exercise would be the first and most effective place to embark on a program to get over the blues. I don't advocate the use of drugs (mood elevators) unless absolutely necessary. I saw what the antipsychotic drugs did to my mom (made her crazy), which is why drugs should be the last resort. If all other avenues fail, then a trip to a psychiatrist who can prescribe the drugs that can level out a person's brain chemicals would be called for.

                        If you were applying for life or health insurance it might make a difference, but it shouldn't have any relevance in your applying for a job. The only thing companies care about is if you've been convicted of a felony in the last 7 years.

                        Adrian is in the age group that tends to react in extremes. That's why this group has such a high suicide rate. I'm sure Romeo and Juliet (if they were real people and not a Shakespearean tale) would also be in his age range. I remember when I was around 18-25, everything that happened (both the good and the bad) always seemed so much more dramatic. Now that I have lived a great many years beyond that, I look back at those days and say, "yeah, I sure was living a drama queen existence back then!"

                        With age comes wisdom. I give Adrian credit for realizing he's going through a stage in his life where he might need help. There's no shame in asking for help. I've used short term therapy in the past to help me verify that what I was doing was what I should be doing. It was more like just having a nonjudgemental person sitting there, being a mirror for me. Using friends or family would not have worked in my case. The 3 times I've sought counseling, the counselors really didn't tell me I should do anything to change my life, but in talking with them, I did discover for myself what I needed to do.

                        Miulang
                        "Americans believe in three freedoms. Freedom of speech; freedom of religion; and the freedom to deny the other two to folks they don`t like.” --Mark Twain

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: I think I have depression

                          Originally posted by Miulang
                          I've used short term therapy in the past to help me verify that what I was doing was what I should be doing. It was more like just having a nonjudgemental person sitting there, being a mirror for me. Using friends or family would not have worked in my case. The 3 times I've sought counseling, the counselors really didn't tell me I should do anything to change my life, but in talking with them, I did discover for myself what I needed to do.
                          Those are the best kind of counselors one could have, Miulang.
                          I went to one during/following a divorce over a decade ago; rather than telling me what to do, she gave the guidance that helped me develop my own skills - to cope, to understand, to problem-solve, and to let go when necessary - skills that are flexible, framed within my own experiences and continue to serve me well.
                          She was not a psychiatrist. She had degrees in Nursing, and (during the final years of her life, while battling cancer for nearly a decade) earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology. She was also one of the most valuable people ever to have been a part of my life.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: I think I have depression

                            Originally posted by Leo Lakio
                            Those are the best kind of counselors one could have, Miulang.
                            I went to one during/following a divorce over a decade ago; rather than telling me what to do, she gave the guidance that helped me develop my own skills - to cope, to understand, to problem-solve, and to let go when necessary - skills that are flexible, framed within my own experiences and continue to serve me well.
                            She was not a psychiatrist. She had degrees in Nursing, and (during the final years of her life, while battling cancer for nearly a decade) earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology. She was also one of the most valuable people ever to have been a part of my life.
                            Hey, Leo! I see a Psychiatrist twice a month. Her name is Dr. Do ~ no kidding. But I have the kind of couselor your talking about that gives me FREE advice ONLINE on my BLOG...her name is "Miulang!" She's seen me through many a bad times and good times for sooo LONG, yeah Tita?

                            Craig, As far as being able to get a job while having Mental Illness, of course you can. I did. I was and still could be very successful in anything I want to pursue. Medications helps control my illness. Without it -- I am chemically imbalance ~ PUPULE ~

                            The most important thing in LIFE is to tell the TRUTH. Don't be ashame of who and what you are. Lesson to be learned. We are not all perfect. Mental Illness is like any other ailment. Treat it as such. Respect those who are afflicted with respect as you would treat those with other diseases.

                            Auntie Lynn
                            Last edited by 1stwahine; December 27, 2005, 11:43 AM.
                            Be AKAMAI ~ KOKUA Hawai`i!
                            Philippians 4:13 --- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: I think I have depression

                              To be honest, I was very unhappy and sad for most of my life up until around August of 2005.I couldn't let go of the past, where I was mercilessly harassed and picked on because I was haole in high school.Plus I was unhappy that I never was ever successful in being a relationship with a girl. Things changed after I met this girl and we went out for a month and half.Even though we broke up,i've been very happy since then.It is like now I can go out and meet people and not feel pressure about hooking up with a girl.
                              Check out my blog on Kona issues :
                              The Kona Blog

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