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  • Don't Marry Career Women

    A couple days ago, Forbes magazine published an article that includes gems like "When your spouse works outside the home, chances increase they'll meet someone they like more than you." Forbes took down the article after taking some heat and then put it up with a "rebuttal" article next to it.

    http://www.forbes.com/home/2006/08/2...x_mn_land.html

    Gawker requests that people not give the Forbes website more hits:

    http://www.gawker.com/news/forbes/fo...ree-196287.php

    So if you want a cut and paste copy of the article that's not on the Forbes website:

    http://phdiva.blogspot.com/2006/08/f...eer-women.html

    Both articles seem to be insulting the intelligence of the readers.

  • #2
    Re: Don't Marry Career Women

    Here are some links to rebuttals:

    http://shakespearessister.blogspot.c...-are-mean.html
    http://www.linkmeister.com/wordpress/

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Don't Marry Career Women

      Sure is a good thing that daters have the Forbes articles to "help" them along!!

      Since when do they give dating/marriage advice?
      Since when is psycho a bad thing??
      Sharing withother survivors...
      www.supportandsurvive.org

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Don't Marry Career Women

        Originally posted by blueyecicle
        Sure is a good thing that daters have the Forbes articles to "help" them along!!

        Since when do they give dating/marriage advice?
        I wondered about that myself. Did they need a readership boost, even if it risked annoying at least some of the readership?

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Don't Marry Career Women

          Someone tell my husband that I should stay home instead of work. Of course, I guess we'd have to tell the mortgage company, too.
          Aloha from Lavagal

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Don't Marry Career Women

            my dad married a career woman...a long time ago...and among my friends and associates, they remain one of the few marriages to remain intact...
            Don't be mean,
            try to help.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Don't Marry Career Women

              One of the reasons I married my wife is that she was career driven!

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Don't Marry Career Women

                the thing about it is it isnt the carreer its the amount of time spent together if both ppl spend sooooo much time focused on their jobs that they take no time to spend together then the marriage will suffer. its a known fact that women need more intimate time with their spouses it is a part of their chemical makeup to be appreciated for who they are and what they do and if someone at work gives that recognition more than the spouse then affairs /divorces tend to happen.... this is a both a male and female thing it can happen both ways! as long as you remember to take time in your relationship to appreciate eachother and eachothers accomplishments then the marriage can stay strong.


                this is jus my opinion.... cause there are some that are just not meant for marriage.... EVER
                Support Lung Cancer Research

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                • #9
                  Re: Don't Marry Career Women

                  When my wife and I got married and had kids, she stayed home to raise them while I worked two jobs. It came down to who made more.

                  My wife wanted to finish off her bachelor's degree so she did the night school at Chaminade when I started my own company to suppliment our income while working two other jobs. Meanwhile my wife did baby sitting watching a total of five kids including our own during the day.

                  In all we still barely had enough money to survive as we were in that gap group: Too much for government help, too little to eat steak. I ate late at night after the kids ate so I could make sure they had enough to eat sometimes I had to eat cereal because there wasn't enough left over.

                  I realized then that we were living that paycheck to paycheck mentality and I took my brother's advise and started investing and forcing myself to put money away even if that meant eating hamburger helper without the hamburger

                  When we were finally in the position many years later to afford to buy a home, the prices of homes skyrocketed out of range AGAIN! We were trailing a fleeing dream but it lead us to the Big Island.

                  The plan was big, to build a really nice home on Sunrise Ridge (Hilo's equivalent to Hawaii Loa Ridge) with an interior of 10,000 sq ft. The plans were drawn out and we were ready to start the financing part when Brenda woke up one morning sick as a dog. Uh oh with five kids I knew what that meant.

                  So baby Jesse threw a monkey wrench in our housing plans and we downsized...to our present $245,000 2500 sq ft home. As those who know my story it's not a bad house at all. This home would fit nicely in Kahala with an estimated value of over $1.5 Million back in 2004. Now it's probably worth twice that much.

                  I stayed back in Honolulu to help finance this purchase while Brenda stayed home here in Keaau to raise Jesse. About a year later Brenda got a job that would suffice our daily/monthly needs.

                  This is where this post becomes relevant: I quit my 22-year career job with the Gas Company, and my latest job with Clear Channel and put my business on hold while I made the transistion to the Big Island.

                  Coming up here we traded roles and I watched Jesse while Brenda worked full time. It's been that way for over 2-years now and I don't regret a single minute of what we did (although Brenda yearns for those daytime adventures with Jesse instead of sitting behind a desk).

                  My wife Brenda is now a career woman with a Masters degree in ECE (Early Childhood Education) as a manager for Head Start. I'm a house daddy that gladly gave up the 7-day 2-job thing plus my own business (Starcomm Hawaii: Sports Marketing and radio ad production).

                  My wife is happy now doing what she always wanted to do with the degree she always wanted to achieve. I'm happy too because I'm not that slave to the paycheck anymore and we live a decent life now. But it took hard work and sacrifice to get here. I still eat cereal late at night and we still eat hamburger helper albeit this time with lean hamburger now! But after years of doing so...I don't mind. Meanwhile Jesse is now 2-1/2 years old and playing in our large 20 x 40ft ceramic split level tile living room next to the 53-inch projection tv set (that I bought from the Salvation Army for $100 what a deal!)

                  I think as long as you keep your family's perspective in focus you can marry any which way you want. In my wife's case me being the career person she was my foundation when the stress of burning both ends of the candle and the middle started burning me out. Now she's the stressed out career woman and I'm her foundation of support. We both now know what it's like to be either the breadwinner that is stressed out and the stay at home mommy/daddy that needs the recognition for what they do for the family.

                  What was our secret of keeping us together despite the money situation? We agreed when we got married that it didn't matter who brought in what...the money that came into our household was "OUR" money, not mine or hers. That way when it came tight we worked together to bolster our income instead of fighting over it.
                  Life is what you make of it...so please read the instructions carefully.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Don't Marry Career Women

                    I can't believe that Forbes magazine will print such an article... in 2006.....wow.... now I know to never ever pick up their magazine.

                    Someone should be calling for a boycott of Forbes.
                    Tayo

                    FINALLY HOME IN HAWAI'I!

                    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
                    Mark Twain

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Don't Marry Career Women

                      What a wonderful story - that brought tears to my eyes. You and Brenda and your kids are a very fortunate family.

                      Originally posted by craigwatanabe
                      When my wife and I got married and had kids, she stayed home to raise them while I worked two jobs. It came down to who made more.

                      My wife wanted to finish off her bachelor's degree so she did the night school at Chaminade when I started my own company to suppliment our income while working two other jobs. Meanwhile my wife did baby sitting watching a total of five kids including our own during the day.

                      In all we still barely had enough money to survive as we were in that gap group: Too much for government help, too little to eat steak. I ate late at night after the kids ate so I could make sure they had enough to eat sometimes I had to eat cereal because there wasn't enough left over.

                      I realized then that we were living that paycheck to paycheck mentality and I took my brother's advise and started investing and forcing myself to put money away even if that meant eating hamburger helper without the hamburger

                      When we were finally in the position many years later to afford to buy a home, the prices of homes skyrocketed out of range AGAIN! We were trailing a fleeing dream but it lead us to the Big Island.

                      The plan was big, to build a really nice home on Sunrise Ridge (Hilo's equivalent to Hawaii Loa Ridge) with an interior of 10,000 sq ft. The plans were drawn out and we were ready to start the financing part when Brenda woke up one morning sick as a dog. Uh oh with five kids I knew what that meant.

                      So baby Jesse threw a monkey wrench in our housing plans and we downsized...to our present $245,000 2500 sq ft home. As those who know my story it's not a bad house at all. This home would fit nicely in Kahala with an estimated value of over $1.5 Million back in 2004. Now it's probably worth twice that much.

                      I stayed back in Honolulu to help finance this purchase while Brenda stayed home here in Keaau to raise Jesse. About a year later Brenda got a job that would suffice our daily/monthly needs.

                      This is where this post becomes relevant: I quit my 22-year career job with the Gas Company, and my latest job with Clear Channel and put my business on hold while I made the transistion to the Big Island.

                      Coming up here we traded roles and I watched Jesse while Brenda worked full time. It's been that way for over 2-years now and I don't regret a single minute of what we did (although Brenda yearns for those daytime adventures with Jesse instead of sitting behind a desk).

                      My wife Brenda is now a career woman with a Masters degree in ECE (Early Childhood Education) as a manager for Head Start. I'm a house daddy that gladly gave up the 7-day 2-job thing plus my own business (Starcomm Hawaii: Sports Marketing and radio ad production).

                      My wife is happy now doing what she always wanted to do with the degree she always wanted to achieve. I'm happy too because I'm not that slave to the paycheck anymore and we live a decent life now. But it took hard work and sacrifice to get here. I still eat cereal late at night and we still eat hamburger helper albeit this time with lean hamburger now! But after years of doing so...I don't mind. Meanwhile Jesse is now 2-1/2 years old and playing in our large 20 x 40ft ceramic split level tile living room next to the 53-inch projection tv set (that I bought from the Salvation Army for $100 what a deal!)

                      I think as long as you keep your family's perspective in focus you can marry any which way you want. In my wife's case me being the career person she was my foundation when the stress of burning both ends of the candle and the middle started burning me out. Now she's the stressed out career woman and I'm her foundation of support. We both now know what it's like to be either the breadwinner that is stressed out and the stay at home mommy/daddy that needs the recognition for what they do for the family.

                      What was our secret of keeping us together despite the money situation? We agreed when we got married that it didn't matter who brought in what...the money that came into our household was "OUR" money, not mine or hers. That way when it came tight we worked together to bolster our income instead of fighting over it.
                      "Democracy is the only system that persists in asking the powers that be whether they are the powers that ought to be."
                      – Sydney J. Harris

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Don't Marry Career Women

                        The guy who wrote that article has the socio-economic wherewithal of a caveman and the editor who printed it is singing "ka-ching" because bad press or good press is still a lot of press.

                        pax

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Don't Marry Career Women

                          Originally posted by anapuni808
                          What a wonderful story - that brought tears to my eyes. You and Brenda and your kids are a very fortunate family.

                          We have always been a charitable family, giving without asking in return. As renters in Honolulu there wasn't much to deduct anyway and the point of my business was to utilize the knowledge of what I knew in radio and make it work for us.

                          I couldn't afford $5,000 remote broadcast gear so with my electronics background from the military I made my own. Some nights the kitchen table was my workbench and the kids ate on the folding table in our small two bedroom apartment on the corner of Waiola and Paani streets in McCully. Come to think of it, our living room now was 300 sq feet bigger than our entire apartment.

                          The basketball game would start at 7pm and here I was a 5:30 with my soldering iron fixing a circuit that would "improve" the sound of the broadcast. I would pack my toolbox and during the commercials I would continue to make adjustments within the 2-minute commercial breaks while I would see the opposing team's broadcast team using state of the art equipment. I still have that "piece of crap" gear that I made to remind me of those trying times. Now with computers and wireless internet you can simply stream the audio and video anywhere in the world. Back then it wasn't that easy.

                          My wife stood behind me when I would be stressing out trying to get my equipment to work while the start of the game was minutes away. During the Maui Invitational my equipment looked more like a hobby project gone mad with wires sticking out everywhere while we sent our broadcasts back to Honolulu and the East Coast. But I made my company out of a shoestring budget of less than $500 and made plenty of promises to people willing to help me like my boss at The Gas Company who let me use one hour per day to do cold calling telemarketing to would be sponsors. And to some of my co-workers who loaned me money to pay off the radio stations for air time.

                          Thru it all my wife was there to keep my life focused while it unravelled around me trying to run this business and two jobs so we could afford to live.

                          Now that she's the career woman, I sit with her late at night and listen to her while she describes her stressed out day. It's tough enough having a stressful job, but when you're the breadwinner the stress is monumental because if you mess up in your job, you affect the entire family. I had that on my shoulders for a very long time and when the stress at the job was getting too much to bear I would drop into a mantra: I'm doing this for the family, I'm doing this for the family" and like a robot go back to work and complete the task. You then go home and it's nice to have a spouse that settles your nerves. We do this for each other when one gets overwhelmed and it helps a lot!
                          Life is what you make of it...so please read the instructions carefully.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Don't Marry Career Women

                            no career here im a carer
                            *Lorna* I'M BACK MISSING HAWAII
                            http://www.myspace.com/lorna_uk

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Don't Marry Career Women

                              On a more flippant note, it doesn't sound so bad to not have to work assuming the husband wouldn't mind providing all the income for the family and assuming the husband could keep the family in comfort.

                              Craig Watanabe: I really admire the way you and your family work together.

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