howdy from NYC

[spoot]

I wonder if one of you kind folks could help me with a translation. I'm working out a song and want to have one line in Hawiian. It is:

My beautiful angel of the starlit sea.

I translated it as:

Ko'u anela nani nui ka kai hoku ao

I know it's 'close' but I want it to be right! thanks soooo much.

spoot

[akrauth]

Re: howdy from NYC

Nui = much, big, a lot...

I think "of" would be o in this case, but it might be a. It depends on the possesser (my beautiful angel) and the thing being possessed (the starlit sea.) I'm not great on the o and a classes yet!

Change ko'u to ku'u as that's the word for "my" when you show affection for someone/something: ku'u aloha (my love), ku'uipo (my sweetheart), ku'u lei (my lei), etc.

Finally, I think it should be ke kai, not ka kai, as nowadays, we use ke in front of words that start with k, e, a, and o.

Let's have Pua'i, Mokihana, Kahikina, and any others who are more knowledgable than I am kokua.

Oh, would love to hear the mele when it's pau! (Finished!)

Hope I've helped you somewhat.

Write soon,
'Alika

[spoot]

Re: howdy from NYC

Hi and thanks a lot. It's still a work in progress, and I'm in the middle of a move (from the city back to fort lauderdale for a while) so all of my recording gear is packed away. But when it's finished I'll post a link if you're really interested. I'm really thankful for your help.

spoot

[akrauth]

Re: howdy from NYC

Hi and thanks a lot. It's still a work in progress, and I'm in the middle of a move (from the city back to fort lauderdale for a while) so all of my recording gear is packed away. But when it's finished I'll post a link if you're really interested. I'm really thankful for your help.

spoot

'A'ole pilikia. Sorry it wasn't exactly perfect, but it was all I could do for you! Like I said, be sure to notify some others on here.

[akrauth]

Re: howdy from NYC

Oh, I'm so lolo! Sorry I spelled knowledgeable wrong!

[spoot]

Re: howdy from NYC

Thanks again. Here's they lyrics so far, if anyone's interested. With I believe the changes you suggested.

spoot




it's a hard world
soft with tender tears
and we'll always be a part
You're the the sunrise
and I'm the dark
and starry night

there's an ocean
that divides me from
from your kind saving smile
let me dream a little while
before I fall
back into mystery
my angel of the starlit sea

ku'u anela nani ke kai hoku ao
just let me dream a little while
before I fall
back into mystery
my angel of the starlit sea

It's a sweet world
with bitter tears
countless as these stars
you're the sunrise
and I'm the powder
of the dark

let me dream just a little while
before it's gone
back into mystery
my angel of the starlit sea

[Pua'i Mana'o]

Re: howdy from NYC

Thanks again. Here's they lyrics so far, if anyone's interested. With I believe the changes you suggested.

spoot

ku'u anela nani ke kai hoku ao
just let me dream a little while
before I fall
back into mystery
my angel of the starlit sea

pretty lyrics, spoot.

I wouldn't use that phrase, though. What is the thought you are trying to get across? She is your sweetie who lives yonder over the ocean blue, or she is an "ocean angel" mermaid chick? If it is the former, let's think Hawaiian--the kaona of songs is to apply the natural metaphor directly to her e.g. she is the deep blue sea that reflects the starry night, she is the salty spray that reaches out for you, and so forth. If it is the latter, well uhhhhh....

[spoot]

Re: howdy from NYC

Great thoughts, thanks so much for your ideas 'thinking" Hawiian. So welcome! as opposed to just transposing the line.

spoot

[akrauth]

Re: howdy from NYC

I'll admit it, it's hard to write music in 'olelo because it's about conveying your thoughts poetically and having a kaona behind your words. Let us know what you come up with for a metaphor.