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Spam, Spam, Spam

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  • #16
    Re: Spam, Spam, Spam

    Well, hello everyone, this is Holonalu, recovering Spamaholic, and I am now on my seventh day of being Spam free, I did, however, have a ham sandwich for lunch, it's just not the same, even though I pan fried the ham slices.....Oh well?
    Some fairly interesting news, I was talking with a fellow SA member on the phone just a while ago, and his brother in law, Mits Funai, is the assitant manager at the Foodland here in Kihei, seems that there shelves, in the Spam isle, have been cleared out by panicing Spam addicts, who witnessed our 4 ex members filling their carts. Mits said it only took a few moments for the shelves to be emptied of Spam, of course the Spam lite remained untouched. I always knew that Spam addiction was a serious problem here in Hawaii, but never knew exactly how bad it was......You know, Maui being a small Island, and Hawaii a small state, news travels very fast over the coconut wireless, well, it's now called a cell phone, but basically the same idea. Turns out that within one hour of the run on Spam at Foodland, Star Market was hit. I just came back from there, and Spam isle is indeed bare, except for some dusty cans of Spam lite. Just out of curiosity, I drove up to Safeway, and there is a line at the door, imagine that, the biggest Safeway in the state, with a line at the door!!!!!!! I asked one of the guys why he was in line.......

    Hey, bruddah, you should be at the back of da line, no fair juss cut in lie dat!!!

    Don't worry, I'm not cutting in....Why is everybody in line?

    Well, da manager of Safeway, some mumule mainland haole, has put up one sign in da Spam isle, "One case limit, per customer, per visit"

    So, you're waiting in line to get a case of Spam???

    Aole on dat bruddah, I waiting in line fo get my fourth case of Spam

    I thought you said there was a limit????

    There is, can get one case Spam, per customer, PER VISIT!!!! Get em???? PER VISIT!!!!!!! So, we all stay goin back in, per one more visit, da manager was goin change da sign, almos had one riot, well,,,,,,, not really, so he wen leave da sign up. An, da "Per customer part", makes me wish I was married wit like eight kids...You see dat guy up dea, Portagee/Hawaiian lookin, dats my neighbor, Barry Santos, married, get eight kids, an his wife is hapai again, so, wit da one per customer limit, he goin come out wit TEN CASES!!!! AN DIS IS HIS SIXTH TRIP!!!! Tink he goin be da one dat buys da store out.....An who says da Portagees aren't so bright?????

    Well, thank you

    What, you not in line???

    No, I don't eat Spam anymore

    What, you stay sick or sometin??????? Evrybody, whos anybody, in Hawaii, eats Spam.......Juss look da line!!!

    I left it at that, and headed home.....Later, in the evening, I'm sorry, just couldn't take it anymore, went and knocked on my fourth floor neighbors door, the fellow I had given my dozen or so cans of Spam to, there's a note on the door, "Off to the mainland for a couple of weeks", needless to say, panic set in......he always leaves his lanai door open a bit so his cat can use the catbox........So...........I went out to my truck, got the fourty foot extension ladder off the rack.............................

    Aloha and just say no to Spam, just say no to Spam.......


    • #17
      Re: Spam, Spam, Spam

      ahi poke and hanalei poi should do the trick and your popoki will thank you for a little side treat, dear friend.
      "chaos reigns within.
      reflect, repent and reboot.
      order shall return."

      microsoft error message with haiku poetry


      • #18
        Re: Spam, Spam, Spam

        Originally posted by cyleet99 View Post
        Turkey spam....just ewww. Yuckamundo.

        (I have tried it, too. Sorry, WB.)
        I try to drown out the taste of the turkey spam by loading up on the furikake, ginger, umi, or any garnish on the rice.


        • #19
          Re: Spam, Spam, Spam

          Eh Holo wasup? Send da spam ova... I stay one Mainer 4eva.