Please help find birth mother

[damontucker]

Re: Please help find birth mother

Auntie Lynn,
It is an interesting story but I can't tell whether you are being sarcastic or not.
Terry (hot tamale lover)

Auntie Lynn is probably the most straight forward to the point poster on Hot Tamales

She is being entertained... trust me... as am I!

Honestly... I still never talk to my father in more than 28 years!!! And that's by my choice

[damontucker]

Re: Please help find birth mother

With all seriousness Terry,

This is a very nice effort your doing on behalf of your wife. Family is very important to many people, and I personally have friends that were adopted and are doing the same things to find there real parents.

In all honesty... the two that did find there Mothers:

1. the first one turned out that the mother didn't know who the actual father was and was quite shocked that she was found by her "daughter" they haven't talked since that meeting.
2. the second one ended up meeting eachother...and then my friend came back telling us how glad she was for her adoptive parents as her mother turned out to be a druggie.

I hope all goes well in your search for her mother... however, don't let it eat away at you. Make sure that the two of you grow together and learn from those mistakes before you so that you can have a lovely ohana yourself.

Manoa

[1stwahine]

Re: Please help find birth mother

Auntie Lynn,
It is an interesting story but I can't tell whether you are being sarcastic or not.
Terry (hot tamale lover)

Terry, I'm not being sarcastic. I am a blogger. I love to write true stories especially mine. I love to read other people's true stories as well. I find your wife's story interesting.

Auntie Lynn

[MadAzza]

Re: Please help find birth mother

Your mother is the woman who raises you.

Please respect the biological parent's privacy. She gave your wife her life; now let her live her own in peace. If she does not make it known through the proper channels that she wants to be found, then she does not want to be hounded. Please, please respect her privacy.

[Terry]

Re: Please help find birth mother

Manoa,
Good advice. Life is interesting. We enjoy it.

Auntie Lynn,
Sorry for sounding incredulous. It really is an interesting story but I should be certain of the details. It is late so I will sign off for tonight and I will try to get back to you with more of the story soon.

Aloha
Terry (HT lover)

[tutusue]

Re: Please help find birth mother

Can you please re-read 1 and 3 and tell me somethings not wrong?[...]

Manoa...Terry stated:

"It seems that there are three possible scenerios with regards to whether the mother would want discretion or not:"

"Possible scenerios" being the key phrase.

[damontucker]

Re: Please help find birth mother

Manoa...Terry stated:
"Possible scenerios" being the key phrase.

mahalo tutue...

now i get um...

I tink...

[SusieMisajon]

Re: Please help find birth mother

How did you get he information that you already have? Can you get more, at that end?

[cezanne]

Re: Please help find birth mother

I became a "step-dad" 7 years ago when someone who my wife gave up for adoption at the age of 16 made "the call". It worked out really well, he even stayed with us for a year, got a job in the airlines (free tickeys for my wife) before moving back to the east coast. My wife even met his "mother and father" and he got to meet his biological grandparents too.

Good luck in your quest.

[Pua'i Mana'o]

Re: Please help find birth mother

My stepmom's sister gave up her daughter when she was 17. That girl found the family about five years ago, and there have been many blended reunions since. If your wife has the same blessed fortune, the whole family will benefit. Here's to you and positive outcomes.

[Glen Miyashiro]

Re: Please help find birth mother

Your mother is the woman who raises you.

True. But the woman (and the man) who gave you your genes had a lot to do with how you turned out, too.

Please respect the biological parent's privacy. She gave your wife her life; now let her live her own in peace. If she does not make it known through the proper channels that she wants to be found, then she does not want to be hounded. Please, please respect her privacy.

If you go through the official channels, the birth parents are given an opportunity to preserve their privacy if they wish by declining to allow the release of information. But if you find them independently, then you need to let them have the opportunity to say "no", and you need to have the integrity to honor their request if they do so.

Having said that, I wish you well and hope it turns out for the best.

[MadAzza]

Re: Please help find birth mother

If you go through the official channels, the birth parents are given an opportunity to preserve their privacy if they wish by declining to allow the release of information. But if you find them independently, then you need to let them have the opportunity to say "no", and you need to have the integrity to honor their request if they do so.

Yes, that's what I meant. I thought I was clear; perhaps not. These things can turn out great, as they did with the child my oldest sister gave up 35 years ago. We all got together a few years ago and now she, her husband (whom I refer to as my nephew, as she is my niece) and their kids are almost inseparable from us. From the first time we all met her, it was as if we'd known her forever. Everyone was just thrilled about getting together, and it's actually bizarre how much we have in common. Maybe I'll save all that for another post.

She is just a few years younger than I. We (my family and hers) get together several times a year. It really is as if she and her husband have always been a part of our family. So I well understand that these reunions can be fantastic -- IF all parties are cool with it.

I didn't mean to be negative -- just respectful to the birth mother, who made an agonizing decision more than 40 years ago.

[legal_secretary_in_mtl]

Re: Please help find birth mother

Your mother is the woman who raises you.

Please respect the biological parent's privacy. She gave your wife her life; now let her live her own in peace. If she does not make it known through the proper channels that she wants to be found, then she does not want to be hounded. Please, please respect her privacy.

Hey, if she was adopted and she wants to find her REAL mother, let her do so ! Sometimes we dont want to be found DIRECTLY but we hope maybe someday to be, without making the first move so I tell that guy's wife GO FOR IT... worst that can happen is that she turns her back on her again and says no i dont want to talk to you.

[cezanne]

Re: Please help find birth mother

The way it worked with my wife, someone from some agency called her to let her know that her biological child was inquiring about her. They asked permission to release information.

[MadAzza]

Re: Please help find birth mother

Hey, if she was adopted and she wants to find her REAL mother, let her do so ! Sometimes we dont want to be found DIRECTLY but we hope maybe someday to be, without making the first move so I tell that guy's wife GO FOR IT... worst that can happen is that she turns her back on her again and says no i dont want to talk to you.

Yes, that's what I said. Please read what I wrote, above. Thank you.