A Cautionary Tale

[cyleet99]

Re: A Cautionary Tale

Auwe! Some people get it, some people never do.

I'm a happy hawaii import goin' on 34 years now. But when I go mainland, I probably whine a lot.

What! No sticky rice?
Where's the ocean?
It's so Cooooold. Brrrr!
You call this sashimi?
How can you not know what a Manapua is!
Ewwww, shoes on the carpet.
Gawd, is that a snake!
How come the weathercast doesn't have a surf report?
You call that a beach? It may be where land touches water, but it ain't a beach!
I said I was "Pau", how come you still nevah take my plate?
MY McDonalds has Portuguese Sausage, what's wrong with this McDonalds?
How can you not like Spam?
How come there's no shoyu on the table?
How come every fricken department store I go into, I have to go through 2 sets of doors?

Got any of your own?

Loved the list, Slick!

[phoenix]

Re: A Cautionary Tale

Living in Hawaii does require a special take on life. I live in Phoenix, AZ which is about as close to hell as you can get without actually kissing the devil. Almost 4 years ago my boss said he needed me to move temporarily to The Big Island to oversee a project we had there. I was very reluctant to go and all I could think of was how far I would be from all my friends and family. The first 2 months I was there all I did was work all day and sit around my apartment at night and wish I was back in Phoenix. Then one day I made my way to the Hilo Farmer’s Market. I spent a couple of hours there looking at everything and buying some fruit. I then walked down the street and visited an art gallery and the Pacific Tsunami museum. The next day after work I spent a while walking Hilo and loved it. I spent the next year and a half driving and walking all over the island and just enjoying everything it is. When the project I was working on ended I had to move back to Phoenix and leave the island I had learned to love. That was almost 2 years ago and I still miss it every day.

[timkona]

Re: A Cautionary Tale

Always best not to spit. Especially into the wind. Said Jim Croce.

Sounds like a line from Willie Wonka to the naughty children.

So simple, yet understated.

It's a 3 glurg night........

[tutusue]

Re: A Cautionary Tale

Remember - Tim comes from the school of "never hit first, always hit last." But his definition of "hit" is ... flexible.

Sounds like his definition of "first" is also...flexible!

[Composite 2992]

Re: A Cautionary Tale

Remember - Tim comes from the school of "never hit first, always hit last." But his definition of "hit" is ... flexible.

And THAT is "A Cautionary Tale"!

[Leo Lakio]

Re: A Cautionary Tale

Remember - Tim comes from the school of "never hit first, always hit last." But his definition of "hit" is ... flexible.

[LikaNui]

Re: A Cautionary Tale

Turns out I broke his cranium, while racing on my sailboat, after he spit a green looch onto the upwind side of the deck. Truly a "straw that broke the camel's back" moment. Lika understands. (...) I swear it was the boom that hit him.

That's why they call it a "boom." And yes, Lika understands. Up to a point. But Lika finds it hard to believe you intentionally did an accidental gybe and whack-whacked him with the boom. A potentially fatal response to someone spitting on your boat.
Remind me not to race with you.

[tutusue]

Re: A Cautionary Tale

Hmmm . . . I'm not sure anybody grew up in that story.

Heh...just what I was thinking! I like that turtlegirl acted in a mature manner by taking the high road and driving the complainer to the airport. High 5, TG.

[Jim75]

Re: A Cautionary Tale

I had a similar experience with a good friend who moved over few years back. After 8+ years of separation, I had grown up, he had grown into alcoholism. Turns out I broke his cranium, while racing on my sailboat, after he spit a green looch onto the upwind side of the deck. Truly a "straw that broke the camel's back" moment. Lika understands. Nowadays, I hear he is homeless, panhandling on the steps of the old town library.

Hawaii just ain't for everybody. Movin here is hard as hell. And if you don't have a natural affinity for Mother Mother Ocean, then you better have an ace in the hole.

PS - I swear it was the boom that hit him.


BOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM !!!!

Hmmm . . . I'm not sure anybody grew up in that story.

[timkona]

Re: A Cautionary Tale

I had a similar experience with a good friend who moved over few years back. After 8+ years of separation, I had grown up, he had grown into alcoholism. Turns out I broke his cranium, while racing on my sailboat, after he spit a green looch onto the upwind side of the deck. Truly a "straw that broke the camel's back" moment. Lika understands. Nowadays, I hear he is homeless, panhandling on the steps of the old town library.

Hawaii just ain't for everybody. Movin here is hard as hell. And if you don't have a natural affinity for Mother Mother Ocean, then you better have an ace in the hole.

PS - I swear it was the boom that hit him.


BOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM !!!!

[surlygirly]

Re: A Cautionary Tale

Similarly, she was just pretending to paddle the whole way, and even more annoying, as soon as we got to Flat Island she wanted to leave because it 'smells like birds'!

I completely understand your irritation with her, but this totally cracked me up. Why would someone go to the lengths of pretending to paddle? She sounds like the type to just sit there and complain and blantantly NOT paddle.

"It smells like birds" Hee! I don't think I could even tell you what birds smell like!

[1stwahine]

Re: A Cautionary Tale

This whole internet hook-up thing really baffles me. I've been on HT for 3 years now and I bet none of you ever guessed me to be a 20 year old, incarcerated male outted by Dateline!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

TutuSue....you so funny!

And TurtleGirl, I shua wish you came to pick me up for dat wahine's last ride to the airport. I would have made it a memorable one. No hitting, all verbal...enough foa her to pee her panties.

Da nerve. People like her are NEGATIVE and LEECHES!

Always finding something wrong and wanting everything FREE. The "have not's, the wat not's, and last but not least...the nut nuts!

Love and ALOHA,

Auntie Lynn

[Leo Lakio]

Re: A Cautionary Tale

I never use the "b***h" word to describe women, but I'm sorely tempted in this particular case. TG, your buddy is really lucky to be rid of that leech so soon. Hope his need for a good housemate gets resolved.

[Peshkwe]

Re: A Cautionary Tale

I'm really a 6'3", blond, blue-eyed, 22 year old Scandehoovian super model.

[tutusue]

Re: A Cautionary Tale

This whole internet hook-up thing really baffles me. How can anyone really trust someone they've never met irl to be the person they imagine? I just don't get it. I've been on HT for 3 years now and I bet none of you ever guessed me to be a 20 year old, incarcerated male outted by Dateline!
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