Mainland friend won't 'fit in' here?

[Cnecki]

Re: Mainland friend won't 'fit in' here?

Ha Ha LOL LOL ya i know you right ya bugga! Too cute! Yes Imu! Ha Ha

Loves and Hugs

[Leo Lakio]

Re: Mainland friend won't 'fit in' here?

...and Emu digging.

Yeah, I dig those big flightless birds, too, but be careful - they can kick and bite! I saw some in Australia 20 years ago, and ...


Oh. Wait.


You meant "imu," didn't you - the cooking pit in the ground, right?


Nem'mind. Just teasin' .

[Cnecki]

Re: Mainland friend won't 'fit in' here?

Hi Turtle Girl and everyone else, it has been a really long time since I have posted or been here. Miss all of you and excited to be back.

As far as the topic goes here is my two cents.

I love taking new people with me to the island when I go. Or when I am there I love friends just like yours to come visit. My family has no problem breaking them in to the island way, and I love watching it! Ha Ha. By the time they leave they are bare foot, beer drinking, eating with their hands, and Emu digging. Then when they are all the way broke in we take them to the tourist stuff, as a reward !! LOL

Funny after all this abuse most of them want to move back and start over.

My friends must be gluttons for punishment!

Take Care Turtle Girl

[AbsolutChaos]

Re: Mainland friend won't 'fit in' here?

My experience has been that the people who gripe most about Hawaii are the ones who feel like a fish outta water and don't know how to deal with that feeling and need to make themselves feel superior in order to cope. They don't understand that their supriority complex is only making things worse.

I agree with those who say start out in Waikiki. You can see how he behaves there, and based on that, slowly branch out if you believe he can "handle" leaving the tourist enclave. Perhaps take him to the Hawaii Kai area first, then start inching out further from there. Keep the trips short, so he can "recover" back in Waikiki.

There are plenty of interesting things within Honolulu itself, though outside of Waikiki, so maybe keeping mostly to those areas might be a good idea too. I'm assuming he'll have plenty of Internet access, so maybe throw out a few locations and let him scout them out online. Then he might feel better because he read about it in advance and has a better idea of what to expect--and you can always gently steer him in directions that are more "realistic" if it appears like he's reading things that look like they were written by the tourist bureau. If he feels like he's more "in control" of his vacation, it might make him relax a little and not be so uptight.

Just some ideas...shrug. Difficult vacationers are just difficult vacationers sometimes, and there's nothing you can do about it! (Except detox yourself by enjoying the very things they dislike as soon as they leave!)

[Surfn Nut]

Re: Mainland friend won't 'fit in' here?

What I see is "mainlanders" who forget this is HAWAII, and they need to slow down and take it easy, and not expect people to doing things quick, fast, or in a hurry like on the mainland.




Sent from my Blackberry Curve on Sprint.

[snowbird]

Re: Mainland friend won't 'fit in' here?

I read through the posts, but have to admit toward the end, my eyes got cloudy, so I might have missed something. I have taken from this thread that you have a mainland friend who has yet to learn the aloha spirit. It's okay, because hopefully when he makes it over here, it will envelop him. Bring him over here, just give him a quick heads up that we all realize how lucky we are to live in paradise - and he's lucky to be able to visit here. If he doesn't get it, then he doesn't get it, but I would bet he'll step off an airplane and breathe in the sweet, salty air and realize that he's landed in the Garden of Eden. If he doesn't, then he won't enjoy his visit here, but I would guess with a friend like you, he will fit in just fine. If he doesn't, just blame my intoxicated state and hope that tomorrow, he wakes up a new man. Living here is a dream that tourists fall in love with every day. Hopefully those of us lucky enough to live here realize that.
Aloha,
Ragin Cajun

Stephen, you took the words right outta my mouth. Well-said.

[Stephen]

Re: Mainland friend won't 'fit in' here?

I read through the posts, but have to admit toward the end, my eyes got cloudy, so I might have missed something. I have taken from this thread that you have a mainland friend who has yet to learn the aloha spirit. It's okay, because hopefully when he makes it over here, it will envelop him. Bring him over here, just give him a quick heads up that we all realize how lucky we are to live in paradise - and he's lucky to be able to visit here. If he doesn't get it, then he doesn't get it, but I would bet he'll step off an airplane and breathe in the sweet, salty air and realize that he's landed in the Garden of Eden. If he doesn't, then he won't enjoy his visit here, but I would guess with a friend like you, he will fit in just fine. If he doesn't, just blame my intoxicated state and hope that tomorrow, he wakes up a new man. Living here is a dream that tourists fall in love with every day. Hopefully those of us lucky enough to live here realize that.
Aloha,
Ragin Cajun

[Amati]

Re: Mainland friend won't 'fit in' here?

this guy will totally not fit in.
He's gonna drive like an ahole
honk
talk relentlessly about 'how it is in the states' (ugh!)
gonna want to tell people what a great, important job he has
want to be treated 'special'
have his cellphone glued to his ear half the time
preoccupied with chasing women
(he's also pushing 50 yrs old)
he's really going to annoy and embarass me!

That is not how someone describes a friend. And, if I had a supposed "friend" who talked about me like that, I'd drop them. That is just the reality of it ..... people do not talk about friends that way.
Period.

[Leo Lakio]

Re: Mainland friend won't 'fit in' here?

Ummm...it should be obvious by now that Anapuni is no friend of mine!

May I suggest, with total respect for you both, that you reconsider that, sometime down the road? There are some strong similarities in your paths, though traveled many years apart - and you just might find her to be a very useful guide to life in the Islands. You never know why people are placed in your life - some are for comfort, some for testing, some for guidance, some just for the heck of it.

I won't push the point any further than that, and thanks for reading this much.

[tutusue]

Re: Mainland friend won't 'fit in' here?

I have a friend visiting here next month from LA. I'm afraid this guy will totally not fit in. He's gonna drive like an ahole, honk, and talk relentlessly about 'how it is in the states' (ugh!). He's gonna want to tell people what a great, important job he has. He'll probably want to be treated 'special'. He will likely have his cellphone glued to his ear half the time. And he's very preoccupied with chasing women while he's here (he's also pushing 50 yrs old). I want to be able to hang out with him while he's here, but I also think that he's really going to annoy and embarass me![...]

[...]he gets to retain his 'big deal Hollywood casting director' persona,[...]

<faint>
..........

[Kaonohi]

Re: Mainland friend won't 'fit in' here?

Kauai was sooo beautiful, Kaonohi! It may be my favorite island! Explored 2 huge caves, and saw tons of waterfalls. It rained all day, but it was no big deal. I love Kauai!!

Good!! It had best be your favorite, cuz it IS the best! (IMNSHO).

I live now in upper Kahalu`u, the rainiest spot on O`ahu. When it rains just remind yourself: "It's just water!" Evidently you did.

I'll make sure to share a laugh with him over the rude, {expletives deleted } who suggested I need new friends!

I have a huge heart, which is worn on my sleeve, due to the fact that I'm a performing artist, and I make no apologies for it.

An old saying: you can never have too much money or too many friends.

Chill a little. Just a little while ago weren't you commenting on HT conflicts? or was than another life??? Sometimes a little slack is appropriate - especially on the internet where "what did you mean by that?" may take days to answer, and we have no visual cues (body language, facial expression) to help us communicate. Sometimes taking offense is as bad as giving offense. Peace. Or if that doesn't work, there's always 'ignore.'

Glad you had a good time on Kauai. Be happy.

[turtlegirl]

Re: Mainland friend won't 'fit in' here?

TG, I'm seeing a wee discrepancy between these two statements:Is calling someone you don't even know a "bat" your way to "accept" and "tolerate" them?

Makes me wonder who the "rude" one is in this situation.

Ummm...it should be obvious by now that Anapuni is no friend of mine!

But I do want to especially thank you, Leo, for your previous post on this topic. It really got me thinking! And Tattratt and Seeking Penance's differing points of view made me lol, and I appreciate that too, you guys!

[Leo Lakio]

Re: Mainland friend won't 'fit in' here?

TG, I'm seeing a wee discrepancy between these two statements:

...the rude, curmudgeonly bat who suggested I need new friends!

...I like lots of various types of people, and I accept them, warts and all, show them tolerance, and want the best for them.

Is calling someone you don't even know a "bat" your way to "accept" and "tolerate" them?

Makes me wonder who the "rude" one is in this situation.

[turtlegirl]

Re: Mainland friend won't 'fit in' here?

Kauai was sooo beautiful, Kaonohi! It may be my favorite island! Explored 2 huge caves, and saw tons of waterfalls. It rained all day, but it was no big deal. I love Kauai!!

Anyway, this whole thread may now be moot, because my friend had to change his plans, and so we'll just meet up in LA while I'm there for the next 6 weeks. Which is easier for both of us - he gets to retain his 'big deal Hollywood casting director' persona, and I can just slip right back into my old 'model/actress/stuntwoman' ways, and there we can enjoy being needlessly sucked up to and treated special for a while.

And one of those days, while he and I are snacking at Urth Cafe, or dining at The Ivy, I'll make sure to share a laugh with him over the rude, curmudgeonly bat who suggested I need new friends!

I have a huge heart, which is worn on my sleeve, due to the fact that I'm a performing artist, and I make no apologies for it. Friends come in different shapes, sizes, and personalities. They do not have to be clones of myself to be my friend. I like lots of various types of people, and I accept them, warts and all, show them tolerance, and want the best for them. Because people are allowed to be the way they wanna be, IMO.

I don't need some online stranger giving me a hard time about any choices I make in my personal life. I was simply trying to find a way to make his transition from high paced Los Angeles to low key Hawaii as easy as I could. Nobody needed to question my friendship choices. That's just crass.

Thanks again to everybody who gave me good ideas for his vacation time, I sincerely appreciated that!

[Nords]

Re: Mainland friend won't 'fit in' here?

... but I also think that he's really going to annoy and embarass me!
Aaargh! How do you folks deal with it when you have a visitor like this guy?

I think Anapuni's point is that real friends don't treat their friends this way.

I see the comment about needing new friends a lot, especially when someone is trying to figure out how to deal with a "friend's" rude behavior. You don't seem to think that you can do anything to change the friend's behavior. I don't think that the problems you describe will get any better if you change your behavior, either.

You asked. I can understand why that answer came up.