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  • Look After Your Ma

    A recent, ongoing and terrifying health scare with my Ma makes me want to remind everybody to look after your mother. A mother's love is the greatest gift in the world, and the thought of losing it scares me to the marrow. CALL YOUR MOM! Tell her how much she means to you! Do it now!
    Don't be mean,
    try to help.

  • #2
    Re: Look After Your Ma

    I try to do this everyday.

    I lost my father at a very young age and am not close at all with my half-siblings. My mom's all I've got.

    This thread made me start thinking of all the things she's done for me despite the sheeit I put her through.

    I think I'm gonna cry now because even though I'll see her at dinner, I miss her already.
    Tessie, "Nuf Ced" McGreevey shouted
    We're not here to mess around
    Boston, you know we love you madly
    Hear the crowd roar to your sound
    Don't blame us if we ever doubt you
    You know we couldn't live without you
    Tessie, you are the only only only

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Look After Your Ma

      This is especially important at this time of the year when many parents are often without there kids...

      And even though I won't be calling my dad this year...

      Give your Pops some love too!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Look After Your Ma

        You are so right, Jdub. I call my mom weekly. And now that I am a mom, it is just an amazing thing the way your heart expands to love your children. Today Kid 1 is home sick. That's troubling enough. But sending Kid 2 to school today just made my heart sink. I send them everyday right? And yet, if they aren't together, I think they might feel a little lost.
        Aloha from Lavagal

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Look After Your Ma

          i lost my mom 7 years ago to schlerloderma (sp) and now my wifes mom has lung cancer.
          Aquaponics in Paradise !

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Look After Your Ma

            My MAMA is my best friend, my #1 confidant after God! I take care of her. She 's 82 years old. A caring and loving woman. A woman who is loved by many and a woman full of history.


            MAMA and her Hanai-Son ~ Robert Caz!

            Auntie Lynn
            Be AKAMAI ~ KOKUA Hawai`i!
            Philippians 4:13 --- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Look After Your Ma

              I've been lucky enough to have spent every single Christmas of my life with my family, and for a few days last week, we weren't sure if Ma was gonna make it. She pulled through, but now faces a savage and uphill battle over the coming weeks. She is an enormously strong woman and I have faith in her to beat this thing.

              But since things got hairy, not a minute has passed that I haven't thought about how lucky I am to have the mother who gave me life still with me. I've been through the same thing with my father, who is the greatest man alive.

              My whole family is together now (little sister flew back from Chicago early), and we never miss an opportunity to express our love for one another.

              I'm glad to be a part of HT and among genuinely good people who honor their families. Yall're awesome.
              Don't be mean,
              try to help.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Look After Your Ma

                I wanted to resurrect Jamie's thread because of what happened to my family this morning.

                Early this morning, my stepfather's mother passed away. Nana and Papa both went into failing health a few months ago, and my stepdad and his siblings decided that it would be in his parents' best interest that they be placed in a nursing home where they'd receive care 24/7.

                I didn't get to the hospital until after she left us, but mom said that Papa stayed by her side despite the fact that he, too, was very ill. According to mom, Papa told Nana (in Ilocano) "Don't worry honey, I'll see you soon" shortly before she took her last breath. Their love story lasted almost 60 years.

                Though she wasn't related to me by blood, she's always been special since the first time she welcomed my mother and I into her home almost 14 years ago.

                So do me a favor, HT. Hug your mothers and grandmothers a little tighter tonight and don't forget to tell them how much you love them. I'm glad I got a chance to tell Nana that before she left us.
                Tessie, "Nuf Ced" McGreevey shouted
                We're not here to mess around
                Boston, you know we love you madly
                Hear the crowd roar to your sound
                Don't blame us if we ever doubt you
                You know we couldn't live without you
                Tessie, you are the only only only

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Look After Your Ma

                  I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my grandma last january and I still feel so bad at times for not spending more time with her. I've lost two, very important loved ones with the last couple of years and I too know how important it is to love, hug and cherish not only our kupuna but all our ohana on a regular basis cause you can never tell where each our paths in life lay.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Look After Your Ma

                    Thank you ALL for your words of kindness and for sharing.....I am fortunate that I still have my Mom and Dad with us. When my grandma died in 2004, she had 9 of her 10 children survive her, 35 grandchildren (of which I am #2), and 58 great-grandchildren (#58 was born just 2 weeks before she passed) survived her as well.....her love for us was UNBELIEVABLE! She didn't have a lot of money or material things but what she did was more than enough. Her name was Ruth Lulin Maluihiokalani Achiu Miner and she is missed every day!

                    So if your mom, dad or other kupuna is still here and you are able to talk to them or hug them - PLEASE do! Don't let a day go by without telling that you love them. I have 2 sons (16 and almost 21 years old) and everyday, whenever I talk to them, I always tell them "I LOVE YOU"...their friends used to tease them but one of them finally asked me why I tell them I LOVE YOU everytime and I told them because if something happens to either of us during the day and one of us passes...the last thing we'll have heard from each other is I LOVE YOU.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Look After Your Ma

                      My mom is the strongest Ive ever seen aside from my grandma. My mom multi tasks like no other. she has like 50 projects open but always gets everything complete. I will call her right now and tell her how much I love her. She came up here and visited for a couple weeks and she drove me nuts and I wanted her to leave after the first few days and then when it came time for her to leave.. We were balling our eyes out, and I told her 'mom im sorry for being a little *itch, I didnt mean it" shes like "your not a litltle *itch, your just like me and were not *itches so dont worry I love you and wish you could come home with me" my husband was like get in the car we'll see her in a month. And Im like Im a mamas girl you dont understand. I always make sure I say I love you before I hang up the phone and if it gets cut off before I could say I love you I always call back just to say I love you.. Mom dad brother aunty whoever. I can recall one time last week, I said love you mom and pressed the hung up button too quick and didnt hear her say it back and i felt my heart drop so I called back just to say "sorry mom were you saying something?" shes like "no.." and im like "ok.. i love you!!" shes like "i love you too" my mommys the best!!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Look After Your Ma

                        I am always impressed by people who do not take for granted how lucky they are. I love that everyone here is humble and thankful enough for what we have to have no compunction about expressing it and offering support to fellow HTers. Tis a fine thing, that. Thanks yall.
                        Don't be mean,
                        try to help.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Look After Your Ma

                          Jamie? You started this wonderful thread during a very scary time for you and your family. Do you feel comfortable in giving us HTers an update on your mom's condition?

                          Something I learned a few years ago is that saying "I love you" to a parent doesn't stop after death. My dad passed almost 4 years ago and I haven't missed one day telling him how much I love him. It's the first thing I do when I wake up and I go to sleep eagerly anticipating that short exchange with my dad the next morning.

                          Something else I learned a few months ago was the value of the words "I love you" to someone who is terminally ill. As many of you know, a friend of mine passed away right before Thanksgiving. While not a close friend, she was someone whose intelligence and wit I greatly admired. A friendly "I love you" wasn't really appropriate for the level of our friendship. During the very tearful phone call from her hospital bed when she told me she was terminal...and in the very near future...and would I please take care of her daughters, "I love you" welled up from my heart and out my mouth with no forethought. I could tell it impacted her greatly and the words and feeling were mutual. We spoke every day during her 24 remaining days and always said "I love you". Those words ended up being the last words we said to each other. I'm so incredibly thankful for that.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Look After Your Ma

                            It's been a while since I've been able to answer, Sue, but yeah, I'm comfortable updating concerned HTers with my Ma's condition. She's in chemo now, and showing the signs. Stronger and braver than I, she's fighting the fight. I believe that Ma will win.

                            I'm not sure that it's appropriate to bring up here, and now that I'm back in HT mode, I realize that I probably should have brought this up with Admin or Moderator or whatever first. At ant rate, the good people of Downtown Honolulu have seen fit to organize what they are calling a "Winpenny Ohana Reunion" at Murphy's on Sunday the 25th of February.

                            Other than mustering all of the love and healing vibes we can, the intent of the gathering is to help defray the costs of my Ma's...thing. It's a fifty-buck buy-in. They've got "tickets" (groan) at all the Irish pubs. Raffle, silent auction, grinds, tasteful and meaningful entertainment, the same things Ma has done in the past for others fighting the fight she now fights. Many have come forward with genuine aloha.

                            They're calling it a "reunion" because my folks have adopted countless adult orphans (nevermind the scores of mysteries the Winpenny children have brought home). That sounds cute, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I expect everyone to whom my Ma and Pa have taken in to find a way to return that unconditional good will.

                            There was a good bit of secrecy and subterfuge (sp?) in the coordination of this thing, due in most part to the fact that the people involved are well acquainted with Ma's stoic resolve to give rather than take. There happens to be a whole mess of souls here and no longer here for whom my Ma has cared enough to do precisely the same thing as what will happen for her on that approaching Sunday.

                            And as the tears come again, Sue, I'll agree that, yes, "I Love You" are the most important words that can ever be understood. Spread the words.
                            Last edited by jdub; February 15, 2007, 01:37 AM.
                            Don't be mean,
                            try to help.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Look After Your Ma

                              My mother has had a rough year-plus. Her husband died unexpectedly and suddenly at home in October 2005; she had a heart attack in February 2006. For nearly twenty years, they had made their home on a recreational lake in a wooded area of eastern Iowa - then everything changed.

                              Since I'm in Seattle, my sister is in the area, and my brother is moving up this way in a couple years, my mother decided to move out this way as well. I helped her find a place out on the Olympic Peninsula last summer, and she moved in in July. Then the moving company screwed up and didn't get her stuff out here until mid-August.

                              In October, she developed strange growths on her leg, in an area where she had had a strange cancerous growth removed (followed by radiation) seven years ago. She was hospitalized here in Seattle around Thanksgiving, and spent a month recovering in a care facility (fortunately within walking distance of our home, so we saw her often) - she was thrown for a loop, because she didn't realize that they would remove so much muscle and tissue (you could see exposed tendons) and that the skin-graft would take so long to heal; she thought she'd only be laid up for two weeks, tops. So she spent Christmas & New Year's in the care facility as well, then went home mid-January, for additional rehab.

                              The good news is that the new growths were benign, and she's in good spirits again, back into the process of establishing her new life in Washington State after nearly 80 years in the midwest. And we're going to go see her this weekend - hugs are long overdue.


                              Jamie - I wish you, your mom, your `ohana, and all your supporters the best; it's good to hear that, after years of sharing strength and support with others, your Ma can count on them to give some back when she needs it most.

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