Marriage Proposal

[GeckoGeek]

Re: Marriage Proposal

On one knee

Just remember, one knee is a proposal. Two knees is begging.

[SusieMisajon]

Re: Marriage Proposal

Emotions? It was hormones. Homeones'll screw you up, every time.

[Leo Lakio]

Re: Marriage Proposal

His "former plaintiff" comments. That is all.

Ah - at least he can have a sense of humor about it - sometimes, that's all we get left with.

Notice how rarely I ever mention either of my two ex-wives? The non-marriage with the AF has lasted longer than either marriage did. But, to stay with the theme of the thread...sorry, no "awwww...how sweet!" moments ahead:

Marriage #1) We were high-school sweethearts. We broke up a couple times after high-school and during college (which we attended together), and finally decided that, since we kept getting back together, marriage seemed like the inevitable next step. If I remember right, she actually proposed to me (and since we were already living together, it was nothing too fancy.)

We were too young to know what "low self-esteem" was - and why we both settled for the other person, thinking "well, no one else will want me, so this is probably the best I'm gonna get." Yeah - pretty sad way of thinking. Two years after we were married, we decided to have a child, so we have the one daughter (now 27); about three years later, we were divorced. You'll soon see why...

Marriage #2) A whirlwind romance - okay, "affair" would be more accurate, as I was in marriage #1 when we met. After I got divorced, she moved in with me. About a year later, I asked her (somewhat off-handedly) if she would consider getting married, and I think she was too stunned to think about it - and said yes. We married and moved to Seattle at the same time, as I had a great job offer. After that, she changed dramatically - oddly enough, she felt that I provided an environment that was safe enough for her to face past issues in her life.

We went through about two years of counseling together, during which I learned that she married me out of a sense of obligation, thinking that she owed it to me for breaking up my first marriage (I did not feel that way, though.) Hardest thing to face was that she didn't marry me out of love. That one kicked me to the bottom of the well for a few years.

~~~ insert two-year period of personal reflection here ~~~
~~~ now, insert three-year period of dating here, testing out the newly-redefined self ~~~

Serious relationship #3) The Alpha Female from Kane`ohe. As noted earlier, we have, from time to time, discussed marriage. Neither of us seems to feel any drive to do so, so it just isn't on the horizon. We function as a married couple - it's just not been legally formalized. Neither of us is religious, so that's not a factor.

The marriages ended up teaching me about a lot of harmful attitudes inside myself, which I was able to shine a light on, wrestle, shelve, destroy, adjust, improve, whatever - which is likely why the present relationship has worked out so much better.

[cezanne]

Re: Marriage Proposal

The wife and I had been dating and living together for 6 years. We went to Vegas with my parents and one of those days we got the married at the spur of the moment.

My parents were happy but disappointed that we didn't have the major church wedding and reception afterward like my two sisters previously. Nah too much humbug I said. 14 years and still going...

[Pomai]

Re: Marriage Proposal

Just remember, one knee is a proposal. Two knees is begging.

Ha ha! I wonder how often the one being proposed to says "NO".

My friend (a guy) was proposed to by a gal he was casually dating (at least in his eyes), and he said NO. Not surprisingly, she stopped seeing him.

[oceanpacific]

Re: Marriage Proposal

First marriage: traditional all the way. Officially, at dinner (Summit Restaurant, top of the Ala Moana Hotel). Diamond engagement ring (she picked the "rock" beforehand among four available). Church wedding with eight attendants in the bridal party, reception with 400 guests at Sheraton Waikiki.

Second marriage: civil ceremony with two witnesses. Took our witnesses to lunch at Andrew's Restaurant (Ward Center).

First marriages for both of us were 12-1/2 to 13-1/2 years each. Current union has outlasted the prior ones by 6-7 years.

There are four kids: one daughter from each of the priors, one daughter and one son from current joint venture.

[acousticlady]

Re: Marriage Proposal

That sounds like the better part of the story.

What would be interesting to hear is HOW you proposed?

On one knee at:

a beach?

a ball game in front of many fans?

a nightclub while getting your groove on the dance floor?

a restaurant?

How and what did you say? Engagement ring?

What's funny is the aprehension here about this subject. I am too.

I dare not ask our good friend Lika Nui for advice.

OK - had a big long response to this and couldn't seem to post it. Now I forget what I said..............

Except the point, which was how you ask doesn't matter. The first time for me was actually on the phone. When he asked to to renew our vows it was the fairytale type of thing. But both times - there was never any question as to the response. We always knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. That, we didn't question. The engagement and subsequent wedding were really just an excuse to throw a really awesome party.

[Pua'i Mana'o]

Re: Marriage Proposal

hmmnn...

We were inseparable from the first day we had met. Had a kid two yrs later. Had another two yrs after that. Bought the house a yr after that. Got married a yr after that.

Seven years between first date and wedding. Had another kid a year later.

For all the polemics against "doing it backwards", we did it exactly that way, and have been going strong for almost 20 yrs. The very qualities I found attractive when I had first laid eyes on him still stoke my embers today. As young as we were, we grew into adulthood together and grew into each other. I cannot imagine life without him, and I pity the fool who dares to try and come between us.

As for the marriage proposal? I seriously cannot remember what that was like. I do vividly remember me, him and his mother going to pick out my ring. And I remember the last words he told me when he went in to get his vasectomy, which were about his commitment to me as forever being the only mother of his children.

[cezanne]

Re: Marriage Proposal

I salute Mr. Stadium Scoreboard Marriage Proposal Guy

[jimnyo]

Re: Marriage Proposal

well, to make a long story short (DH kept trying to psych me out by presenting a ring box w/something other than a ring in it...THREE TIMES!! ARGH!! DON'T EVER DO THAT!), we ended up at a picnic lunch at a park eating salt & vinegar chips, my favorite. he hates them. i was asking when he was going to propose as he had dragged this thing out the aforementioned three times. i thought it strange that he kept eating the chips when i kept trying to stop and put them away and i knew he hated them. when i finally figured out that he had hidden the ring in the bag of chips, he proposed, well, i said yes and then he proposed as we were both crying. then he told me never to make him eat salt & vinegar chips again.

we had a friend who took his girlfriend ocean fishing and hid the ring in a mussel that he tossed her to use as bait.

[Kalei99]

Re: Marriage Proposal

Broke up with boyfriend. Went out with sister that night. Under the influence, I asked her to find me a "good guy."

Fast forward to 8:00 am next morning. The phone rings and it's some guy asking me on a blind date -- compliments of sister. Hung over and not really thinking, I agreed. We've been together everyday since then.

Fast forward again 9 months. Thanksgiving was in a few days. My Mom did not like new "Haole" boyfriend (even though she didn't meet yet). When she found out that I was bringing new guy to dinner -- she invited old boyfirend and his family and said new guy not invited.

Since I was working for an airline, new guy and I decided to go to his family's dinner in San Diego. There was a four-hour layover in Las Vegas. When we got to Vegas, new guy "had an idea" for something we could do during our layover. We ended up at the Candlelight Wedding Chapel at 7:00 am (since we took the red-eye). Since we were there so early, they had to wake up the minister. We went over to Circus Circus for an hour.

No proposal (he just kinda said "so what you think?"). No ring. No family or witnesses (besides Wiley E Coyote & Pink Panther that we won at Circus Circus). No dress (we were in bodobodos...) No pictures. We just got married then got on a flight to San Diego. His 3 year old daughter slept between us that night.

This year will be our 16th anniversary. I have no complaints -- he did turn out to be a "good guy."

A good friend that owns a travel agency heard the story a few weeks ago and has offered us a free trip to Tahiti to make up for the lack of wedding/honeymoon.

PS....Mom eventually met and LOVED new guy!

[Leo Lakio]

Re: Marriage Proposal

That's a nice story about taking control of your own life. And the best part?

Mom eventually met and LOVED new guy!

Talk about external validation!

[zff]

Re: Marriage Proposal

My proposal went something like this:

Me: "Man, look how much I gotta pay for health insurance!"
Her: "Damn, that's a lot. Mine is free."
Me: "Can I get on your health insurance for free too?"
Her: "Only if we're married, I think."
Me: "Ok, whatever."

[oceanpacific]

Re: Marriage Proposal

My proposal went something like this:

Me: "Man, look how much I gotta pay for health insurance!"
Her: "Damn, that's a lot. Mine is free."
Me: "Can I get on your health insurance for free too?"
Her: "Only if we're married, I think."
Me: "Ok, whatever."

That's PRACTICALITY in action!

Second marriage: we were both renting separate apartments. Hers - a studio in walking distance to work; mine - two bedroom, two bath. She and her daughter moved in with me. The savings helped us buy our home 2-1/2 years later. Been there for over 18 years.