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Re: Your First Job
caution; Gross story follows.
the Squeamish and the Amish read no further.
OK, here's how mine went... my "psycho chicken" experience:
Da blalah tells me grab the chickens and put em on that chopping block. So I do.
he hands me a hatchet. Well, being a kid who wants to grow into manhood I say ok I will do this..
(to myself)
to him, I already committed!
ok.
So I raise da hatchett and i
WHAAACK da buggah.
head.
pop off.
Body!?
hoooo I start laughing AND crying at once. Feel so bad for da poor buggah chicken.
da body wen go race all around the farm in figure 8s and back and forth, tilting left and right.. all loopy and woozy, but kinda fast, yea!?
for something with no head.
It was THE most bizzarre thing i ever saw. Or ever want to see.
again.
ever.
I said. OK.
Now. Gimme another way to do this.
Cuz bruddah, I ain't agonna do it like dat. again. nosireebob!
so. We hele on ovah to this tree.
he gives me rope.
was told to hang da boids upsai down by da legs (of course) then grab da head. Puuulll on da head. Down, boy! not up!
ok.
imagine that.
helluva mental picture so far, eh!?
Then wat? I ask da bruddah.
He hands me a big knife.
OK. CUT da neck.
den wot!?
I ask?
(Ho, I nevah like ma-ke anything. I nevah wen keel nahteeng. evah. )
By now, No like any aspect of dis "cheekin skin" experience!
he sez.
T'row em away. Toss em far away.
So I pull da head down. Streeetch da neck, make tight. mo bettah fo da knife go t'ruu.
But! Da knife sooo buss up! Dull and rusty! It was torture. On me AND da cheekin.
(i shoulda yelled at da chicken; "eh brah dis goin hurt me more than it goin hurt you!" I could see him now clucking back; "ya wanna bet?!")
Finally, da head. come off. T'row da buggah faaaaaway.
You shoulda seen da look on da buggahs face! (the farmer, not da cheekin.)
He had this freakin grin on his face.
I say whatchoo smiling at!? That was disGUSSS sting!
he said chaylook,you!
And the body was spinning, goin horizontal, like Will Rogers twirling a rope fass kine!
he sez. this is the best way... to drain blood from a fowl.
I said....
(yep you guessed it.)
That's Fowl!
gross, man!
Shortly after that; was offered a job at KFC.
yep. You guessed it.
became an accountant instead.
ha.
Nuff.
Of course.
(accountant part was the only fabricated thing in this.)
caution; Gross story follows.
the Squeamish and the Amish read no further.
Originally posted by mel
OK, here's how mine went... my "psycho chicken" experience:
Da blalah tells me grab the chickens and put em on that chopping block. So I do.
he hands me a hatchet. Well, being a kid who wants to grow into manhood I say ok I will do this..
(to myself)
to him, I already committed!
ok.
So I raise da hatchett and i
WHAAACK da buggah.
head.
pop off.
Body!?
hoooo I start laughing AND crying at once. Feel so bad for da poor buggah chicken.
da body wen go race all around the farm in figure 8s and back and forth, tilting left and right.. all loopy and woozy, but kinda fast, yea!?
for something with no head.
It was THE most bizzarre thing i ever saw. Or ever want to see.
again.
ever.
I said. OK.
Now. Gimme another way to do this.
Cuz bruddah, I ain't agonna do it like dat. again. nosireebob!
so. We hele on ovah to this tree.
he gives me rope.
was told to hang da boids upsai down by da legs (of course) then grab da head. Puuulll on da head. Down, boy! not up!
ok.
imagine that.
helluva mental picture so far, eh!?
Then wat? I ask da bruddah.
He hands me a big knife.
OK. CUT da neck.
den wot!?
I ask?
(Ho, I nevah like ma-ke anything. I nevah wen keel nahteeng. evah. )
By now, No like any aspect of dis "cheekin skin" experience!
he sez.
T'row em away. Toss em far away.
So I pull da head down. Streeetch da neck, make tight. mo bettah fo da knife go t'ruu.
But! Da knife sooo buss up! Dull and rusty! It was torture. On me AND da cheekin.
(i shoulda yelled at da chicken; "eh brah dis goin hurt me more than it goin hurt you!" I could see him now clucking back; "ya wanna bet?!")
Finally, da head. come off. T'row da buggah faaaaaway.
You shoulda seen da look on da buggahs face! (the farmer, not da cheekin.)
He had this freakin grin on his face.
I say whatchoo smiling at!? That was disGUSSS sting!
he said chaylook,you!
And the body was spinning, goin horizontal, like Will Rogers twirling a rope fass kine!
he sez. this is the best way... to drain blood from a fowl.
I said....
(yep you guessed it.)
That's Fowl!
gross, man!
Shortly after that; was offered a job at KFC.
yep. You guessed it.
became an accountant instead.
ha.
Nuff.
Of course.
(accountant part was the only fabricated thing in this.)
), dropped plenty sesame seed dough balls on the floor but put them back on the tray before going in the rotating ovens (HOT!). everybody did that. the actual fortune cookie machine was hilarious to watch actually, early assembly line robotics. final step was pneumatic bagging machine which you sat in like a fighter cockpit. again more kid pranks some boxes had couple empty puffed up baggies 
Oh well I didn't need it at the time.
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