Meeting people isn't easy

[genepark]

I've lived in Hawaii for just about a year now. Most of it was spent with my ex, but we've recently had a very harsh breakup that I'm desperately trying to get over.

I've made some friends here, but I do want to meet more people, especially people outside the journalism industry. I'm 26, but I think I'm over the whole "meeting girls at clubs" thing. My last several girlfriends were all met at clubs, and none of them, including my ex, have turned out for the better.

So where do you guys recommend a young professional like me to go and meet other young professionals who are financially and emotionally stable? :P

Any advice too? Because I've actually found it quite difficult to meet people here in Hawaii. Sure there is a lot of aloha, but in terms of trying to get to know someone better, there seems to be a wall. A lot of times, people go out in groups, and they don't want that group dynamic to be disturbed by an outsider. That's what I've discovered anyway.

[GypsyLika]

Re: Meeting people isn't easy

Church maybe. The gym. Bookstore or take a class of something you're interested in or the produce section of the supermarket. Maybe your friends or coworkers will introduce you to someone. In the mean time, enjoy yourself.

[1stwahine]

Re: Meeting people isn't easy

Ok Gene, you want the dating scene? Fear no moa!heheheh

Seriously, First Friday October is just around dee corner. Lots of action and lots of "interesting" people to meet in Chinatown. No, not the "Silent Community." The exciting, liberated, young and vibrant professionals who seek each other. Yeah, people just like you!

Komo mai. No be shy!

Auntie Lynn

P.S. When my son comes back from CA., I'll ask him to take you night clubbing! He knows where the action is!

K-den. I re-read your post. So sorry. You said you don't want the club scene no moa. Aiyah! My mind no can regista like before. Hmmmm...but den again, it's where people congregate. The saying goes and it's true.

"When you stop looking ~ das when the love of your life is going to come."

I know it works. It happened to me.

[Vanguard]

Re: Meeting people isn't easy

Church maybe.

That's good, but unless you're already in an established religious group that's set stakes in Hawaii, I think you will have a lot of cults trying to recruit you. Just pay close attention to any social situation and I think you'll be fine.

[genepark]

Re: Meeting people isn't easy

Ok Gene, you want the dating scene? Fear no moa!heheheh

Seriously, First Friday October is just around dee corner. Lots of action and lots of "interesting" people to meet in Chinatown. No, not the "Silent Community." The exciting, liberated, young and vibrant professionals who seek each other. Yeah, people just like you!

Komo mai. No be shy!

Auntie Lynn

P.S. When my son comes back from CA., I'll ask him to take you night clubbing! He knows where the action is!

K-den. I re-read your post. So sorry. You said you don't want the club scene no moa. Aiyah! My mind no can regista like before. Hmmmm...but den again, it's where people congregate. The saying goes and it's true.

"When you stop looking ~ das when the love of your life is going to come."

I know it works. It happened to me.

I actually went to First Friday. It was actually very crowded, but I think it was more of the Friday club scene and less the First Friday scene. I saw some promise in the First Friday scene. It got interrupted when I ran into my editor in chief, and I ended up rapping with him instead. :P I'll give it another shot in October.

When I stop looking huh? It'll take some time for me to be that relaxed again but I know what you mean.

Yeah I've heard the church suggestion before. I'm Koreano, and other Koreans have recommended to me that I attend church, meet a good Korean girl and go from there. However I'm very much an agnostic, and I think it would be disingenuous of me to attend church when I don't believe in anything fully. It's the whole reason why I stopped being a practicing Catholic in the first place.

I've been considering going to UH for a few classes, so maybe this might motivate me to finally do so.

It's hard for a tourist such as myself to meet people, and I guess I'm being pretty impatient right now.

1stwahine where is your son in Cali? I lived there for about four years during school.

[Pomai]

Re: Meeting people isn't easy

Yeah I've heard the church suggestion before. I'm Koreano, and other Koreans have recommended to me that I attend church, meet a good Korean girl and go from there. However I'm very much an agnostic, and I think it would be disingenuous of me to attend church when I don't believe in anything fully.

OK then, with that, let's try Plan "B" (or "C" or whatever it is): Dress nice and hit the produce section at Don Quijote Kaheka, followed by a stroll through Palama Market next door. Both "Target Rich Environments" of said "pursuAsians" and then some!

Just make sure you're also there to genuinely buy something. At least some apples & oranges. lol

[tutusue]

Re: Meeting people isn't easy

Hmmm...what about those free financial/investment seminars? No, you don't wanna get hooked into buying the course...or anything else...but you can check out the attendees. If anyone looks interesting and interested, there's usually a break. Strike up a conversation! At the very least, you might learn something!!!

Participating in activities that you enjoy will expose you to others who also enjoy the same activities.

All that said...Auntie's correct. The right one tends to come along when you stop looking and least expect it! At your age, you have plenty of time!

[1stwahine]

Re: Meeting people isn't easy

1stwahine where is your son in Cali? I lived there for about four years during school.

My son is in the hot dessert training with the Stryker Brigade. They'll be retuning in October den be heading to Iraq in December.

1stwahine

[Pua'i Mana'o]

Re: Meeting people isn't easy

Find charitable work that is worth your time.

Try the Jaycees.

[infinitypro]

Re: Meeting people isn't easy

Don't try so hard, it steals the spontaneity, the magic if you will of it all. Things will happen, transpire on its own...it's one of the wonderful things in life. I agree, you should volunteer your time doing something you love, something different from the Journalism industry...not to "look" for someone but to fill up your basket of 'treasures' so that in turn you too can reap.

Give sincerity, and in return you will get sincerity. Go "looking" and you'll get someone who's just "looking" too.

For starters and ideas try here.

And, I don't know if they're available, but there seems to be a lot of emotionally stable, independent women on this forum.

[MixedPlateBroker]

Re: Meeting people isn't easy

If you're not into attending AAJA or SPJ meetings, you might also check out the Hawaii Korean Chamber of Commerce.

[anapuni808]

Re: Meeting people isn't easy

"It's hard for a tourist such as myself to meet people, and I guess I'm being pretty impatient right now"

If you think of yourself as a "tourist", or not here to stay - I think that comes across to others. Especially females - why would we want to put our heart out there for someone who is just going to leave? The suggestions you've been getting are good ones, especially for someone not into the club scene.

I have a friend here who is very frustrated that he can't seem to meet women to get involved with - it's partly the fact that he doesn't want to spend $$$ on them because he thinks they are just after a good time. It's also that he tries too hard, too quickly to start a "relationship" instead of just making friends.

Find an activity or cause that you have a passion for & get involved - you'll meet other like minded people that you can make friends with. You're a young professional - it's called networking

and of course, keep HT posted on your progress..........we're very nosy on here

[scrivener]

Re: Meeting people isn't easy

Your idea about taking classes makes a LOT of sense -- the pool in college is certainly better stocked than the professional world, for most of us. You'll find lots of nice people around your age, especially if you take graduate-level courses. I was severely disappointed in myself while working on my M.Ed. for being so OLD for my many beautiful classmates.

Most were between 24 and 27.

Our AbsolutChaos used to run a social group for newcomers to Hawaii. I don't know if she still does that, but perhaps there's something similar?

[MatildaRose]

Re: Meeting people isn't easy

Find charitable work that is worth your time.

Try the Jaycees.

Good idea. Our public libraries are always looking for volunteers, too.

[AbsolutChaos]

Re: Meeting people isn't easy

Our AbsolutChaos used to run a social group for newcomers to Hawaii. I don't know if she still does that, but perhaps there's something similar?

I've stopped posting the weekly events on my group, though the group is still open and sees the occasional post.

Have you looked into these groups? They tend to have interesting get-togethers...

http://www.meetin.org/city/MEETinHONOLULU/
http://www.globalpauhana.com/Oahu.254.0.html