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  • Disclosing Identity on Forums

    I noticed many of you post pics of yourself and family, and use your real name. Maybe I'm paranoid, or just private... but, I would never disclose any of that on a public forum.

    Don't you feel a bit violated knowing strangers are looking at photos of your children? What if your coworker or manager reads your rant about your bad day at work? What about crazies that don't like what you post? I felt a little uneasy reading about Tattrat's unfortunate accident. What if the driver is caught and Tattrat decides to sue? Don't attorneys always tell clients not to talk about the incident to others? I mean, yeah, it's a longshot that a discussion on this forum will be pulled and used in a court case... but it could happen.

    Anyway, just thought I'd post this. I would love to meet you guys, but I would never post my photo and name, nor disclose where I live and work. Besides, how can I freely dish dirt about my boss, in-laws, etc? I'm curious how the rest of you feel?
    Last edited by nikki; November 2, 2007, 06:44 PM.

  • #2
    Re: Disclosing Identity on Forums

    I've been online for so long, Nikki, that it'd be impossible to hide my identity at this point. And, while I'm not terribly overt (no family photos on HT that I can recall...except my avatar <g>), I tend not to post things I might regret later. I don't diss my in-laws 'cuz I don't have any and, so far, the boss hasn't fired me. And, to my boss I say this: you're a goat feltching, boxcar skulled pea-brain in the tertiary stages of syphilis b!+¢h.

    Aaaaah...that felt good. Now I need to ask for a raise!

    As for Tattrat...it appears to me that he hasn't given all the details so I doubt he's compromised any potential but unlikely legal action. He's new to Hawaii and for now HT is his local family. I probably woulda done the same thing.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Disclosing Identity on Forums

      i'm on myspace and HT, among other places. my sweets, known on HT as MixedPlateBroker (he's the eric in ericncyn but he's never posted under this moniker, tho i've accidentally posted under his due to computer sharing), can also be found elsewhere online. on myspace, i have pics of myself, eric, friends and family, but unless you've passed my screening process or i know you in real life, i won't add you as a friend and you can't view any of that stuff. additionally, most of everyone calls me by a part of my middle name, not my legal first name, so that makes me harder to "track," i suppose.

      on HT, only a few know our real names (eric and cyn are both aliases) and we've asked the HTers who do know who we are to keep it to themselves. in fact, i know for a fact that there are a number of HTers have crossed real life paths with eric and/or me but don't realize it. we don't hide what we do for a living, where we went to school, or even what we eat for lunch, but we won't say where we work exactly or what year we grad or when we'll be at a certain restaurant or bar and what we'll be wearing. as much as we are fond of quite a number of HTers, we've made the decision that HT life stays online as part of real life/cyber life balance.

      both eric and i have made friendships online that developed into lasting friendships in real life. in fact, eric and i found each other online, but not through a dating site, as you might think.
      superbia (pride), avaritia (greed), luxuria (lust), invidia (envy), gula (gluttony), ira (wrath) & acedia (sloth)--the seven deadly sins.

      "when you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people i deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly..."--meditations, marcus aurelius (make sure you read the rest of the passage, ya lazy wankers!)

      nothing humiliates like the truth.--me, in conversation w/mixedplatebroker re 3rd party, 2009-11-11, 1213

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Disclosing Identity on Forums

        I've been onymous (yes, it's a real word) online for as long as I can remember. Sure, I've had handles ('pzarquon' or 'Prophet Zarquon' was my dial-up BBS handle), but even then those identities were one step away from me. I did simultaneously experiment with an alter ego for a few years, but that turned out so messy I definitely gave up on such experiments for good.

        To be sure, there are dangers and downsides. I speak often about blogging and new media and the wild new wonderful world of 'user generated content,' and make it a point to talk about privacy, discretion, libel, and safety. (I also know that my gender plays a large part in how I percieve the relative 'safety' of the online space.)

        There certainly isn't a shortage of cautionary tales out there to cite. I share a few from my own experiences, from tainted friendships to broken marriages. I've had photos of my kids stolen or subjected to crude comments, I've been flamed every which way from Thursday, I've posted stuff that I've come to regret. Yes, people get fired, divorced, sued, even killed for what they do online.

        But ironically, while I am passionate about the right to privacy and the importance of privacy online, I have basically found myself following the "hide in plain sight" school of online interaction. I put my name to what I write, create, and share. I stand behind my words, or suck it up and eat them when I'm wrong. As far as identity is concerned, I value, perhaps above privacy, authenticity and credibility.

        And I have been perhaps fortunate to find that this mindset works for me. I've gotten jobs based on my online presence (and have left jobs that were uncomfortable with it), I've made friends in real life thanks to my addiction to online communities, and I'm having a lot of fun, without worrying about keeping up a facade or "cover story." I just know I'm responsible for everything I say, and (mostly) say things accordingly.

        Of course, I've also made an ass of myself publicly, I've embarassed myself regularly, and still make mistakes. But at least it's me doing these things, and the fact that everyone else knows it's me counts for a lot!

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Disclosing Identity on Forums

          PZ's my idol when it comes to online identity. He's one of the very first people I met both in cyber space and irl. I marveled at his emotional honesty and descriptions of a disrupted relationship, the eventual reunion, the marriage, not to mention the pregnancy, labor and delivery of all of his kids. He was actually posting from labor and delivery!!! Every time Kilinahe pushed...I pushed...and I was half way across the island! There were medical crises in progress that he shared as they happened. I could feel his tears while I shed my own for him.

          I'm exhausted just recalling all of that! You've been quite a ride, PZ! And I've only touched on a very small percentage of your online postings!

          ETA:
          Originally posted by pzarquon View Post
          [...]I did simultaneously experiment with an alter ego for a few years, but that turned out so messy I definitely gave up on such experiments for good.[...]
          Aha! So that WAS you!!!
          Last edited by tutusue; November 2, 2007, 10:01 PM.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Disclosing Identity on Forums

            Yeah, that guy, PZ, yeah! Every word he said is EXACTLY what I was thinking, but was totally too lazy to type it up.

            Yeah, I goin' be in A/V room if anybody like find me. I get my chess set!

            If you can't find out who I am, really, you're not trying. And all that stuff that PZ said, too, I second the motion, including that big word "onymous."

            Blaine
            Make trouble, have fun, do good stuffs.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Disclosing Identity on Forums

              Me on the other hand have no problems revealing who I am because what I say is who I am.

              It's easy to be harsh to others and pretend to be so brutally honest to other online posters because your identity is unknown to most. Easy to be non-diplomatic when no one can attack you back like Osama Bin Laden terrorizing the world with a video tape. Come on Osama come out and fight like a real man.

              But when it comes to backing up statements, it's hard to believe someone when you don't even know who they are.

              I guess I'm one of those "In your face" kinda guys, not afraid to tell it the way I feel and back it up with a name. Reckless? Maybe, but at least you know who I am and I put my integrity behind my statements. I'm for real and whether you like me or not, you can appreciate the fact that you are talking to Craig Watanabe, my integrity is genuine where my real life and cyber life is one in the same...no confusion there.

              How can one be brutally honest while hiding behind an alias. How can one back up their statements when they don't put their integrity on the line. Honesty and integrity work together to form a believable person and that's what I base myself upon. I got nothing to hide, so why hide behind an alias.

              If you fear retribution, then you failed to communicate in a diplomatic way. If you come out flaming others while hiding behind an alias it shows an inability to be diplomatic. That to me is reckless and immature.

              I'm Craig Watanabe, I'm 47 years old and not afraid to tell the world that
              Last edited by craigwatanabe; November 2, 2007, 11:41 PM.
              Life is what you make of it...so please read the instructions carefully.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Disclosing Identity on Forums

                This is a very interesting post for me. Auntie Lynn, who I knew (who I know personally) before she even posted on HT strongly cautioned me not to reveal TMI.

                I probably did already, but I really do enjoy reading most of the threads and I think most of the HT posters are sincere, good people.

                If I worked in a job that had much less high public visibility, then I probably would reveal more of myself.

                I'm wavering about going to the HT Christmas Party. Part of me really wants to go, and the other part thinks that it might be too revealing. Niki, if you want to meet some HT people, (and my educated guess is that you work for a privately owned company and not civil service) then the annual Christmas Party is the way to go!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Disclosing Identity on Forums

                  I have no problem with people wanting to be discreet online. But I don't understand the fear of meeting in real life, such as the Christmas party or the picnic. It's great fun to put a face with a screen name in a safe environment. Speaking for myself only, even after meeting in person I'll always address an HT member by his/her screen name online and not reveal any personal details. It's pretty obvious who prefers to remain incognito online even after meeting irl!

                  And then there's Ryan...I mean, PZ...err, make that admin.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Disclosing Identity on Forums

                    Originally posted by nikki View Post
                    I noticed many of you post pics of yourself and family, and use your real name. Maybe I'm paranoid, or just private... but, I would never disclose any of that on a public forum.

                    Don't you feel a bit violated knowing strangers are looking at photos of your children? What if your coworker or manager reads your rant about your bad day at work? What about crazies that don't like what you post? I felt a little uneasy reading about Tattrat's unfortunate accident. What if the driver is caught and Tattrat decides to sue? Don't attorneys always tell clients not to talk about the incident to others? I mean, yeah, it's a longshot that a discussion on this forum will be pulled and used in a court case... but it could happen.

                    Anyway, just thought I'd post this. I would love to meet you guys, but I would never post my photo and name, nor disclose where I live and work. Besides, how can I freely dish dirt about my boss, in-laws, etc? I'm curious how the rest of you feel?
                    A sense of e-family helps. Nothing is pried, or forced. All info is given of free will, just like everyones diverse and well, opinionated opinions.

                    I won't loose sleep over knowing my handle can be matched with a face come the end of the day, or "I know where some one works" kinda thing.

                    IF this were a teeny bopper, BS, flame site, then it would be different. But it is not. For the most part everyone seems to be respectful, curtious, and welcoming. The worst thing that can happen in REAL life, I feel, someone I don't know might be like "JON/TATTRAT? 'Statch you?" and I will be like, "ummmm, do we know one another?", and the rest is the rest.

                    Sure, in this age of cyber stalking, phishing, hacking, yada yada yada, anything could be possible, but if you are dumb enough to give out a social security number, or banking info, then you set yourself up.

                    We share, we learn. If you choose to/not to, that is ultimately up to you, no harm no foul. I have nothing to hide, I yam, who I yam. Actually, i think the point of a local forum IS TO MEET PEOPLE< and NOT just online, but in fleshy goodness(or not that good;-/). I know that on another board I was ADMIN on, our monthly meetings were the best part. Sometimes 10 people showed, other times 200 showed, so you get seen and recognized either way.

                    If someone steals my identity, good for them, they aint gonna get much! If someone wants to stalk me, they have to get past knuckles first(Mrs.Tatt). I have never been a fan of keyboard courage so I know that I have not pissed anyone off to the point where if by chance, I run into them, I know I won't get set on fire.

                    Sometimes, putting a face to a name is nice too.
                    flickr

                    An email from God:
                    To: People of Earth
                    From: God
                    Date: 9/04/2007
                    Subject: stop

                    knock it off, all of you

                    seriously, what the hell


                    --
                    God

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Disclosing Identity on Forums

                      If you open yourself, then new friends can get to know you. However, there is the possibility of trouble also.

                      Since I'm involved in a political issue, it is somewhat more of a concern nowadays.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Disclosing Identity on Forums

                        Originally posted by AlohaKine View Post
                        If you open yourself, then new friends can get to know you. However, there is the possibility of trouble also.

                        Since I'm involved in a political issue, it is somewhat more of a concern nowadays.
                        I can spot you anyday...all I gotta do is look for the smoker standing outside da bar
                        Life is what you make of it...so please read the instructions carefully.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Disclosing Identity on Forums

                          Originally posted by nikki View Post
                          Don't you feel a bit violated knowing strangers are looking at photos of your children? What if your coworker or manager reads your rant about your bad day at work? What about crazies that don't like what you post? I felt a little uneasy reading about Tattrat's unfortunate accident. What if the driver is caught and Tattrat decides to sue? Don't attorneys always tell clients not to talk about the incident to others? I mean, yeah, it's a longshot that a discussion on this forum will be pulled and used in a court case... but it could happen.
                          Anyway, just thought I'd post this. I would love to meet you guys, but I would never post my photo and name, nor disclose where I live and work. Besides, how can I freely dish dirt about my boss, in-laws, etc? I'm curious how the rest of you feel?
                          Bad things can come from anywhere, and the Internet is just one more means of exchanging both good & bad. I think the good outweighs the bad. More importantly, shielding yourself from anything possibly bad also isolates you from a lot of very good.

                          Here's some other perspectives on your questions:
                          - The photos of my kid on the Internet are far less embarrassing than the photos in her high school yearbook, and both are equally accessible to strangers. Not that any of the strangers particularly care.

                          - If I have to resort to a discussion board to say things about my coworkers/bosses that I couldn't say to their faces, then we have a problem to work on. It might be just a little relationship maintenance or some long-term ho'ponopono but either way the rant is a symptom of a more serious problem.
                          I like the approach of posting as if you're having a conversation with that boss or coworker, and not say anything online that you wouldn't say to their faces. Posting about these problems forces me to examine the situation and figure it out (so that I can write the post) and then find a solution. The posters on a discussion board can guide you from their experience & perspective, a resource you can't easily find anywhere else.
                          Posting about my issues with my parents-in-law got the facts out there and helped me with a lot of ideas. It turns out that their problem wasn't so unusual after all. It was also wonderful occupational therapy that otherwise would've taken me months of expensive counseling or even stayed plugged up to poison me for the rest of my life.

                          - I bet we encounter just as many crazies while commuting, working, helping customers, and walking in the park as we meet on the Internet. At least on the Internet it's a little easier to sort the crazies out from the rest of the crowd!

                          - Tattratt's doing what any good attorney or law officer should be doing-- publicizing the case (to gain info & witnesses) and putting up "WANTED" posters. It's not much different than Perry & Price's posse. No offense to Tatt or to HPD, but he's just not a big priority on their triage and his methods will get results a lot faster than HPD.

                          Again the good far outweighs the bad. I'm much more articulate, witty, and charming on a discussion board than I am in person because I have the time to compose a response instead of choking on my frosty beverage. I've learned far more from the Internet than I've ever gained from TV or the World Book encyclopedia. I've been able to tap into the experience of dozens of others who've dealt with my same problems. I've been able to find people who share my interests or my accomplishments-- and in some cases there are only one or two others in this time zone, let alone close by.

                          I've made a few fast friends from discussion boards, including one who I'll probably never meet in real life. (He claims the reality never lives up to the image.) I've also learned how to not react to trolls and other difficult Internet stereotypes, a skill that's paid off bigtime in dealing in person with difficult people.

                          I just wish discussion boards had developed to the present level when I was in my 20s instead of in my 40s. Things woulda turned out a bit differently.
                          Youth may be wasted on the young, but retirement is wasted on the old.
                          Live like you're dying, invest like you're immortal.
                          We grow old if we stop playing, but it's never too late to have a happy childhood.
                          Forget about who you were-- discover who you are.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Disclosing Identity on Forums

                            I'm proud of the name 'Misajon'.

                            And anyway, my neigbors scare the heck out of me more than anyone.
                            http://thissmallfrenchtown.blogspot.com/
                            http://thefrenchneighbor.blogspot.com/

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Disclosing Identity on Forums

                              I'm hanging dis morning.

                              Whatever Pz said.

                              I'm Auntie Lynn aka Auntie Pupule and I have nuttin to hide.

                              Google me and my kids, grandkids too.

                              HAHAHAHAHAHAH
                              Be AKAMAI ~ KOKUA Hawai`i!
                              Philippians 4:13 --- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

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