Are You... Helpful or Hurtful?

[Menehune Man]

A tourist asks you while in Kailua, how to get back to Waikiki?
Would you politely point the way, or say get a map buddy?

A local doesn't know where the Kalihi library is, or even how to get back on the freeway going East/West and asks you for help?
Would you help by giving directions, or say you should know already?

I get asked those and many more questions almost daily.

Sometimes I feel the question asked is silly and other times feel the question asker should already know, but obviously they don't.
So I just show aloha and be helpful.
How about you? Are you... Helpful or Hurtful?

[pzarquon]

Re: Are You... Helpful or Hurtful?

Hurtful might be a bit strong... though even indifference can hurt, regardless of intent.

I imagine you're the sensitive type, though, Menehune Man! You were on your feet in "helpful mode" for most of the HT picnic at Kakaako Waterfront Park!

Anyway, independent of your natural disposition, depending on your job, being helpful might come with the territory. On the other hand, some folks might have absolutely no ability to interact with the public, and therefore gravitate to jobs where that's minimized -- or at least should.

I was recently at the Jiffy Lube near University Ave., and while I was at the counter, a tourist stumbled in trying to find the Swap Meet, at Aloha Stadium. The cashier was basically dumbfounded, and the only response he could muster was half a laugh. So I rescued him with some directions and advice. I wanted to smack the cashier upside the head, but he looked just about as put off as the tourist -- like he just didn't have it in him to do more than add up charges and hand over keys. At least he was working at Jiffy Lube and not a hotel front desk.

[Bard]

Re: Are You... Helpful or Hurtful?

I can sure speak about this from the other end of the stick. When we were on O'ahu people were totally helpful and courteous the whole time. We had one guy at a coffee shop in Hale'iwa spend quite a while with our map, drawing stuff in that we should go see, giving us tips on avoiding car break-ins, and so on.. he got some nice tips.

[Pomai]

Re: Are You... Helpful or Hurtful?

The only way you could be hurtful is if youʻve given a purposely malicious answer. "Go to Kaneohe, take Kam Highway and head north until you reach Haleiwa. Waikiki is just a block over." THAT would be hurtful.

Otherwise, if you gave directions to the best of your ability, thatʻs all that matters.

I worked in tourism a few years, but mostly with Japanese, so they hardly drove; mostly on tour packages by bus.

For me, itʻs kindaʻ weird. Mainland tourists often assume Iʻm also from there because I look sort of Haole (mixed). When I tell them Iʻm a local boy, they ask so many questions about Hawaii, which Iʻm VERY happy and hopefully helpful to answer.

[Leo Lakio]

Re: Are You... Helpful or Hurtful?

A tourist asks a local the quickest way to get from point A to point B.
The local asks: "Are you driving or walking?"
Tourist: "I'm driving."
Local: "That's the quickest way."

[Pua'i Mana'o]

Re: Are You... Helpful or Hurtful?

I travel to the other isles frequently and *always* ask people how to get here and there. Fortunately for me, I have never recieved unhelpful advice. I am grateful for that, and my attitude shows it. Likewise, whenever I am asked to help, I enjoy doing so. I believe that we get what we give in life, and that our character determines our fate. If you are in need, I appreciate the opportunity to help you.

[helen]

Re: Are You... Helpful or Hurtful?

Is the topic of this thread just dealing with "asking for directions" situations or are other type of "asking for help" situations are valid here?

As far as "asking for directions" goes, if I know the way, sure I will answer it. If I don't I just say "I don't know" and go on my way.

[damontucker]

Re: Are You... Helpful or Hurtful?

I try to be helpful in general... however, because of my brashness sometimes it can be construed as hurtful!

For instance, I followed the drunk tourist out from dukes for my own pleasure to watch him stumble around... then the second he face planted I stopped rolling the camera and helped him out... and I have now Youtubed it so that his friend can have their moment in Hawaii together... (I told his friend the Meta tag that I would use so that he could watch it when they get back to mainland)

(now how the drunk guy takes it may be totally different... hopefully he will look back at it and laugh)

all seen here at the Gathering at Dukes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFCS8I_StPc

[Menehune Man]

Re: Are You... Helpful or Hurtful?

Is the topic of this thread just dealing with "asking for directions" situations or are other type of "asking for help" situations are valid here?

It has to deal with asking ourselves... Am I helpful or hurtful towards others when they could use a hand or even just answering their questions?

In otherwords: General attitude in dealing with other people.
Are they just a hassle or do you enjoy the interaction.

[damontucker]

Re: Are You... Helpful or Hurtful?

Then theres also the Obedience to Authority study conducted by Stanley Milgram which basically states people will listen to Authority over there own conscience.

Stanley Milgram, a psychologist at Yale University, conducted a study focusing on the conflict between obedience to authority and personal conscience.

http://www.age-of-the-sage.org/psych...xperiment.html

It shows how just hurtful people can be under the subject of Authority.

[Mokihana]

Re: Are You... Helpful or Hurtful?

I don't live back home anymore; but here on the mainland, I am generally helpful. One time DH and I were at the library, and this Hispanic kane asked if we knew how to get to a place on 2nd Street (he had the address). He didn't speak much English. We were just leaving, so we told him to get in his car and follow us, and we drove the few blocks to his destination, where his wife was waiting outside for him to arrive. It was getting dark and we didn't want her to wait for him... it wasn't a real easy place to find.

Did it then, would do it again. Aloha spirit on the mainland.

[Leo Lakio]

Re: Are You... Helpful or Hurtful?

off-topic a sec --- welcome back, Mokihana; I know you have been away from HT for a few months.

[Vanguard]

Re: Are You... Helpful or Hurtful?

A tourist asks you while in Kailua, how to get back to Waikiki?
Would you politely point the way, or say get a map buddy?

None of the above. I'd give them directions to Kalihi.

OK fine, that never happened :P

For some reason, nobody ever asked me directions -- not that I recall, anyway.

I guess I looked quite clueless!

[awakecreate]

Re: Are You... Helpful or Hurtful?

Hello and thank you for this forum. I am grateful to be here.
..I do the helpful routine with tourists and locals alike. I live in Orlando Florida now, however I am a Canadian who left Toronto in 1980 to end up as a dive instructor and sailboat charter captain in St Thomas USVI till 2001. It is 3 miles X 13 miles and island living is a definite factor. The tourists get lost regularly and I always give driving directions geographicly. Like keep the ocean on your left for 10 minutes and turn right when you can see the cruise ships. Meeting someone brand new while traveling is usually a great thing and I enjoy the interactions. Never know what might become of a friendly encounter.
..Anyway I joined HawaiiThreads to get to know a little because I am arriving on your beautiful Island next week to spend some time with my son who is a 5th yr Navy man.
..It is my first visit to Hawaii and I am grateful even more...
Aloha ...Awake Create

[1stwahine]

Re: Are You... Helpful or Hurtful?

..Anyway I joined HawaiiThreads to get to know a little because I am arriving on your beautiful Island next week to spend some time with my son who is a 5th yr Navy man.
..It is my first visit to Hawaii and I am grateful even more...
Aloha ...Awake Create

Aloha & Welcome Awake Create to HawaiiThreads.com! Please extend my Mahalos to your son for serving The USA! I am the mother of Soldiers also. You will enjoy your visit to our island of Oahu. So much to see and do. If your son plans to take you to Chinatown, let me know. I'll give you an Exclusive Auntie Pupule Chinatown Tour. There's no charge for members of HT and another forum I belong to.

Once again, welcome!

Auntie Lynn