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Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

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  • KokuaFH
    replied
    Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

    I have yet to find one that tops this in any form...

    “Man sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

    Confucius (Circa: 551–479 BCE)

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  • Menehune Man
    replied
    Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

    The Rum Diary. Watched the movie at home on DVD tonight.
    Here's the quote from a lobster to a zoned out reporter named Kemp(johnny Depp)
    "Human beings are the only creatures on Earth that claim a God.
    And the only living thing that behaves like it hasn't got one."

    Zinger yeah?!

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  • LikaNui
    replied
    Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

    There's no alcohol in a Shrimp Cocktail!!!
    Homer Simpson (on a TV commercial last night)

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  • Menehune Man
    replied
    Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

    There's a difference between giving up and knowing when you've just had enough.
    unknown

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  • LikaNui
    replied
    Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

    Don't confuse my personality with my attitude.
    My personality is me.
    My attitude depends on you.

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  • LikaNui
    replied
    Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

    "Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live." -- Dennis Miller

    "If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble." -- Bob Hope

    "The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a Nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin." -- Jay Leno

    "Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year." -- Victor Borge

    "Dear Santa, I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty ... and it was worth it, you fat, judgmental bastard." -- Unknown

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  • Menehune Man
    replied
    Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

    "Don't act like the hypocrite, who thinks he can conceal his wiles while loudly quoting the Koran."
    Hafez, 14th Century Iranian poet

    Of course the Jewish Torah or Christian Bible could also be substituted in place of 'Koran'.

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  • LikaNui
    replied
    Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

    I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.

    .
    .
    .

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  • Menehune Man
    replied
    Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

    "As for the other Mike Rowe, I really do feel his pain, and can only suggest that he avoid Lee jeans while behind bars. They really do make your butt look good."
    That's a great one!

    This line is taken from the movie '2012'...
    "It's kinda galling when you realize the nutbags with the cardboard signs had it right the whole time."

    Hmmm...

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  • Amati
    replied
    Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

    Funniest of the year comes from Mike Rowe, TV host of Dirty Jobs, in response to a lawsuit filed against him by a prisoner with the same name. Seems the jailed Mike Rowe has trade marked the name, and now is suing the TV host for infringement, and for personal ridicule he receives by his fellow inmates. (He gets called “Dirty Jobs” or “Dirtiest Guy” .)

    Also, the jailed M.R. does not like Lee jeans, which the TV's M.R. promotes in ads.

    So, Mike Rowe (TV hosts) reply:

    "As for the other Mike Rowe, I really do feel his pain, and can only suggest that he avoid Lee jeans while behind bars. They really do make your butt look good."

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  • Menehune Man
    replied
    Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

    HaHaHa! That's terrific Likanui!

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  • LikaNui
    replied
    Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

    I'm passing this on because it worked for me today. A Doctor on TV said to have inner peace we should finish things we started & we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked around my house to find things I'd started & hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum.

    - Miriam P.

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  • Menehune Man
    replied
    Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

    How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.
    Anne Frank

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  • Kalalau
    replied
    Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

    My memory is so good i can't even remember the last time I forgot something.

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  • LikaNui
    replied
    Re: Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

    Hate usually pays poor returns. A lot of psych experts contend that hate is both a cry for help by insecure people and the externalization of some amount of self-hatred. We don't know about any of that, but we do know that for less than $10 you can buy a Zen garden. And we know that working the sands of one's garden is much more productive than become the slave of others by virtue of hating them.

    (Written today by a famous boating journalist currently cruising in Mexico)

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