Jokes, Hoaxes, and Mass Forwards

[Serenity]

Re: Too Funny!

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he asks: "Anyone know who this 'cell phone' belongs to?"

OMG!!. Too funny!!.

I think the moral of this story is: Always make sure you are talking to the right person on the cell phone (& not automatically know who it is) lol.

[Menehune Man]

Re: Too Funny!

How about?...

To protest something is to complain, while entering a contest may win you something.

Is it just me, or are the pro's and con's backwards there?

[adrian]

Re: Too Funny!

WOMAN: "$60,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price make sure you get all the options."

can you even do that with a MB nowadays?

[Vanguard]

Re: Too Funny!

Haha! Comedy gold!

[Menehune Man]

Too Funny!

The Perfect Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"


WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"


MAN: "Yes"


WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"


MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."


WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new models. There was one I would really like to have."

MAN: "How much?"


WOMAN: "$60,000"


MAN: "OK, but for that price make sure you get all the options."


WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .... The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."


MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer 900,000."


WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"


MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he asks: "Anyone know who this 'cell phone' belongs to?"

[admin]

Re: who you stay as?

Please don't post e-mail forwards, chain letters, urban legends, hoaxes, or other internet effluent on this forum. Mahalo.

[blueyecicle]

Re: who you stay as?

41 TO 50 POINTS : Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

Hmmm...you tell me ? I don't know. I think people see me as a bitch most of the time but then they get to know me and love me.

[adrian]

Re: who you stay as?

mine:

31 TO 40 POINTS : Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented,
but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make
and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in
your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

Yep. That's me.

[adrian]

who you stay as?

This test is going around the Net and is supposedly used by some HR Groups

Don't be overly sensitive! The following is pretty accurate and it only takes 2 minutes.

Answers are for who you are now --- not who you were in the past. Have pen or pencil and paper ready.



This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees. It's only 10 Simple questions, so grab a pencil and paper keeping track of your letter answers to each question.




Ready??



Begin.



1. When do you feel your best?

a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon &and early evening
c) late at night



2. You usually walk...

a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly



3. When talking to people you...

a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair



4. When relaxing, you sit with...

a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you



5. When something really amuses you, you react with...

a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile



6. When you go to a party or social gathering you.. .

a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed



7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted...

a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes



8. Which of the following colors do you like most?

a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray



9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are..

a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers



10. You often dream that you are...

a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant





POINTS:

1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 ( c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1
Now add up the total number of points.
OVER 60 POINTS : Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.
51 TO 60 POINTS : Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.
41 TO 50 POINTS : Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.
31 TO 40 POINTS : Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.
21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then , usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.
UNDER 21 POINTS : People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you' re boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

[admin]

Re: scam warning!

This thread has been closed. Once again, please do not dump e-mail forwards, urban legends, web hoaxes, and other widely circulated internet effluent on HawaiiThreads. Mahalo!

[DannyWilliams]

Re: scam warning!

Be careful of potential scam!


This scam is going around and I wanted to give you a 'heads up' in case you
may be regular Home Depot customers. Over the last month I became a victim
of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get stuff for the
house has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think
it couldn't happen to you. Here's how the scam works: Two seriously
good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing
your shopping bags into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield
with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy
T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a
tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot or
Lowe's. You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start
having sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat
and performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had
my wallet stolen December 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, &
24th. Also January 2nd, 3rd, twice on the 7th, 10th & 14th, three times just
yesterday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.
So be careful.

Two seriously
good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing
your shopping bags into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield
with a rag and Windex

What I would do: I say #@ Off!!!!!


When you thank them and offer them a
tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot or
Lowe's. You agree and they get in the back seat.

My take on this statement: If I know them personally familywise, from work current or past or went to school with them no probs other than strangers aaaaaah HECK NO! btw I am talking bout offering them a ride to their location...... sheesh ppl get ya mind outta da gutters


and this last one makes me question the legitness of this thread...

I had
my wallet stolen December 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, &
24th. Also January 2nd, 3rd, twice on the 7th, 10th & 14th, three times just
yesterday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.


I guess after Dec 4th did not teach you a lesson?

[Leo Lakio]

Re: scam warning!

HT Police , arrest that man, he's PWI (Posting While Intoxicated)

Wouldn't PWI actually mean Posting While Intimate?

Are you suggesting that Sinjin, as the PWI Culprit, could be called a "PWIC" for this posting?

[LikaNui]

Re: scam warning!

HT Police , arrest that man, he's PWI (Posting While Intoxicated)

Wouldn't PWI actually mean Posting While Intimate?

[tikiyaki]

Re: scam warning!

HT Police , arrest that man, he's PWI (Posting While Intoxicated)

[sinjin]

Jokes, Hoaxes, and Mass Forwards

Be careful of potential scam!


This scam is going around and I wanted to give you a 'heads up' in case you
may be regular Home Depot customers. Over the last month I became a victim
of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get stuff for the
house has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think
it couldn't happen to you. Here's how the scam works: Two seriously
good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing
your shopping bags into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield
with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy
T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a
tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot or
Lowe's. You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start
having sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat
and performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had
my wallet stolen December 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, &
24th. Also January 2nd, 3rd, twice on the 7th, 10th & 14th, three times just
yesterday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.
So be careful.