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Dealing with someone close to you that had a stroke...

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  • Dealing with someone close to you that had a stroke...

    I was wondering how do deal with someone that is close to you that had a stroke? The reason why I am writing this is because I am dealing with this subject matter now. You see, I met Keali'i Blaisdell last year September at his Keeping It Traditional CD release party and we became friends. Its kind of hard for me because I accepted him as a brother (someone that I can tell things too) and when I heard that he had a stroke I became all emotional and I still can't listen to any of his songs now because everytime I listen to it I start crying. Any advice will help. Thanks.
    Aloha Kakou, maluhia a me aloha mau loa (Hello everyone, peace and love forever)

  • #2
    Re: Dealing with someone close to you that had a stroke...

    My grandfather had a stroke several years ago and in my teens I had a very close friend who was 30 that had a stroke. I think that was harder because she was so young.

    It took SO much patience and therapy but after about 2 years she did recover nicely and had most of her speech back and did very well. She is 46 now and doing very well.
    People do survive and do very well.

    They have told my husband he had a stroke 2 years ago. He was 30 as well. When he was diagnosed with MS they found out he had a stroke when he had an exacerbation. The stroke affected him mostly in his moods which are erratic now. And his speech gets very slurred when he gets tired. His was not as strong as Keali'i Blaisdell , but he did lose his sight for 1 week and lost all ability to walk for 2 weeks. He recovered a bit more quickly but he still has some impairment.

    It was crushing when my husband had one. I melted for a good 2 weeks. But then I just picked myself up by the boot straps (so to speak) and now we focus on what can he do to be healthy and strong.

    No one knows how you need to deal with it.
    For me the only thing that helps is to focus on the strength and keeping him healthy and helping him as much as I can. And making sure his family and our children are taken care of. Also research. I read! and stay informed....Alot of people do not understand what a stroke means or what it does to someone.

    It is almost like my husband has become another person overnight. It is hard, just hang in there achow. It will get easier and people do recover.
    Since when is psycho a bad thing??
    Sharing withother survivors...


    • #3
      Re: Dealing with someone close to you that had a stroke...

      Whatever you do, don't stay away from contacting him! Some people avoid communicating with people who have strokes because they don't know what to say to them. In Keali'i's case, it seems that the most troubling part of his condition is his loss of memory. According to one of his fan websites, the Drs believe that friends should call/write him and talk about the old times because that might help jog his memory. It's tragic that initially when he started to recover, he couldn't remember that he was a musician or that he spoke Hawaiian. Helping him remember his music would be good medicine for him. He is still your friend, so stand by him.

      "Americans believe in three freedoms. Freedom of speech; freedom of religion; and the freedom to deny the other two to folks they don`t like.” --Mark Twain


      • #4
        Re: Dealing with someone close to you that had a stroke...

        I was on a tour in Japan and one of the people on the tour was walking slowly with a cane.

        I asked him about his leg and he said he had suffered a stroke years ago that put him in a coma and left him almost totally incapacitated. He couldn't even sit up in a wheelchair. Now he can walk independently.

        Recovery is possible but it takes a lot of work and a lot of time. The worst thing is for a patient to do nothing. Stimulating a stroke victim in a variety of ways helps rebuild the neural connections that have been lost.

        So, as it was suggested, talking to them and doing as much as possible with them can be very helpful. And the sooner the better. The "window" of opportunity lasts only a few months. Recovery after that is much slower.


        • #5
          Re: Dealing with someone close to you that had a stroke...

          I agree that you shouldn't stay away (unless he or his family requests some private time) but you should be prepared because some stroke patients undergo personality changes. You have to walk the line between helping when needed and not providing too much help (if everyone does everything for the person with the stroke, they may not progress as much or as fast as they would if they keep trying to do things for themselves). Adjusting to life after a stroke is a long and often frustrating process and the person may suffer depression and anger. It might be a good idea to check with his family to see how they think he's doing and what you could do to help.


          • #6
            Re: Dealing with someone close to you that had a stroke...

            I "was" gonna stay out of dis thread.

            But I not.

            K-den...I'm a Stroke Survivor.

            PATIENCE, Love, Aloha and a lot of Prayers is the key!

            From the onset of a stoke, I didn't remember nothing. I woke up feeling no pain. Loss of part of my leg, arm and speech were devastating. My face hung and I looked horrors. I cried in silence and wanted to die.

            The Social Worker told my MAMA I should be put into a Care Home. She told her "No Way! My daughter is a fighter...she'll get outta this!" And I did.

            From two years in wheelchair, to a walker then a cane I fought back. Although I can never be the person I was before and do the things I did...I am still alive and do other things in which I excel today.

            For those who have seen me from those times till now...they are amazed. But most expecially, my children. Never, ever give up hope. Miracles do happen ~ you just gotta BELIEVE!

            Auntie Lynn
            Be AKAMAI ~ KOKUA Hawai`i!
            Philippians 4:13 --- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.