Caring for your parents

[kani-lehua]

caring for your parents is not a matter of if, but when. here's a link from pbs.org http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/caringforyou...ine/index.html

[tutusue]

Re: caring for your parents

caring for your parents is not a matter of if, but when. here's a link from pbs.org http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/caringforyou...ine/index.html

I watched this show yesterday and it's a "must see" for those with aging parents.

[MyopicJoe]

Re: caring for your parents

Very interesting. Thanks for linking, Kani

So the kids move out of the house just in time for our parents to move in. Treadmill just keeps on going...

[kani-lehua]

Re: caring for your parents

Very interesting. Thanks for linking, Kani

So the kids move out of the house just in time for our parents to move in. Treadmill just keeps on going...

exactly. one can never be too prepared. i'm living and breathing this situation. this is my mother-in-law i'm talking about. "mom" has end stage alzheirmer's. i thought i had it bad until i watched the show and one of the participants (the hispanic guy) had it even worse. wife left him; he needed a pacemaker; mother has alzheimer's; father dying of cancer and sister doesn't help.

[sansei]

Re: caring for your parents

hi this is sansei and since before the year of my deceased father's passing,myself and my mom cared for my alining father who had lung cancer and he lived until the year of 2000 and then he passed and since then,now since my mom's age is in her 80's,i do watch her and help her when i can and when i think if someday she joined my deceased father,i'd feel sad and i wouldnt be very joyous and i do know what it's like to care for an aling parent so i thought to share this with everyone.

well thank's for your time

[1stwahine]

Re: caring for your parents

I take care of my eighty-three year MAMA.

She's my best friend and the woman I admire the most in life.

I can listen to her tell her stories over an over.

MAMA goes to dialysis three times a week. Her blood pressure goes low. Her Kidney doctor informed her to see her heart doctor again. She was a big woman before. Now she's tiny and fragile. Bruises easily. Her appetite, like a child.

I make her comfortable and let her have whatever she wants.

KOREAN SOAP OPERAS!

She looks forward to church on Sundays.

It's my duty, honor and privilege to care of My Lady, My MAMA.

Auntie Lynn

[MyopicJoe]

Re: caring for your parents

I liked it when the 4 sisters had a face-to-face with the parents, to discuss whether their parents wanted any life support. They all heard first hand what their parents wanted. They could ask for clarification. They got everything down in writing and agreed on it. The mother didn't have to make all the decisions on her own, nor did she have to convince her husband (who has dementia) on her own. Very wise decision. When the time comes, it'll help the sisters stay together, instead of splitting them apart.

I think that was in part 6. I'm only up to part 10. Been nibbling away at it.

[kani-lehua]

Re: caring for your parents

another great show/movie to watch is, "the notebook". husband takes care of his wife who has alzheimer's. starts off a little slow, but boy, this is a real tear jerker!

[Jim75]

Re: Caring for your parents

I feel for those of you caring for your elderly folks. My parents have both passed on. I watched over my Mom in her last years and toward the end it was really pretty tough, but I am so glad I was able to be there. Her physician called me into the hospital on the last morning. She was lucid and at peace and we had a few nice final moments together. I feel very fortunate for having been able to be with her when she died. I miss them both very much, but it's also easy for me to say that I am glad I have passed through the experience of losing them.

[MyopicJoe]

Re: Caring for your parents

this is a real tear jerker!

I'll have to check that movie out, Kani. I've been on a chick flick binge as of late. I'll need an estrogen detox soon

She was lucid and at peace and we had a few nice final moments together.

Wow, I'm happy for you and your mom, Jim. That is a blessing.

[MyopicJoe]

Re: caring for your parents

another great show/movie to watch is, "the notebook". husband takes care of his wife who has alzheimer's. starts off a little slow, but boy, this is a real tear jerker!

Just finished watching it. You're right Kani; definitely a tear jerker. Very sweet ending. Thanks for recommending it!

[Karen]

Re: Caring for your parents

Kani-lehu, true...if you are some of the folks that are blessed (not in all cases, I know....) to still have your parents alive. I do see the troubles and challenges many cousins and friends are having now that our generation is being faced with aging parents. I wish so very much that mine were still with us and yet....I see the other side of this, too. One of the hardest remains how to stop them from driving when they indeed need to. Of course there are others equally as hard.

[MyopicJoe]

Re: Caring for your parents

One of the hardest remains how to stop them from driving when they indeed need to.

Yeah that's very tough. Unfortunately most American cities are built around cars. If you don't have one, your life can be pretty limited. That's why car problems are so stressful.

Driving is a huge independence for someone to give up, but it needs to be done.

[tutusue]

Re: Caring for your parents

Here is a beautiful article written by Advertiser writer, Vicki Viotti, for Father's Day 2003...a tribute to her father who she lost a couple of months previous. That was also my first Father's Day without my dad who had passed less than 3 weeks earlier. My knees buckled as I was reading. I'd not met Vicki before but I felt her to instantly be my kindred spirit so I emailed her. To my surprise she immediately replied. We still haven't met but we leaned heavily on each other that day via email. Each knew exactly how the other was feeling.

I reread that article each Father's Day as a reminder of how difficult it was for my dad, like Vicki's, to relinquish any independence. It's been almost 5 years and I still cry when I read it. Now, fortunately, the memories bring more laughter than tears.

[kani-lehua]

Re: Caring for your parents

joe: definitely a tear jerker! the power of love!

karen: i'm actually helping to care for my mother-in-law. taking away her keys was a must. she would stop in the middle of the road because she would forget where she was going. the next step was to sell her car. OMG! my father passed at the age of 46 and i am estranged from my own mother. that's a very sad sad tale. i've shed a lot of tears over the situation. but, i have to move on. life is too short for what ifs.

tutu: a great article and a tear jerker. mom is also with kaiser and we don't get much help from them. however, her primary physician is DA BOMB! he can totally empathize because he took care of his father that had alzheimer's like mom.