Favorite Quotes - Chapter 2

[glossyp]

Cheery quote: "Only the mediocre are always at their best." Unknown

Snarky quote: "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." Thomas Brackett Reed

[1stwahine]

"Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours."

Dale Carnegie

[Lei Liko]

"Something bad didn't happen every time I was drunk, but I was drunk everytime something bad happened." -- from Drinking: A Love Story, by Caroline Knapp

And a funny:

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didnt drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true, than be selfish and worry about my liver."--Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts

[Mahi Waina]

"One of these days, the people are going to demand peace of their government, and the government is going to have to give it."

- Dwight Eisenhower

[Leo Lakio]

Following on Lei Liko's heels:

"If I had all the money I've spent on drink ... I'd spend it all on drink."
~ Viv Stanshall, from "Sir Henry at Rawlinson End" ~ (also the source for my sig line, at present)

[Mike_Lowery]

"Stand up for something, or you'll for for anything."
-Malcolm X

[Miulang]

It's not the people who do well on their day jobs who make the mark that everyone remembers, it's those cranky old men who get pissed off by the status quo and do something about it. I know those book shelves and picnic tables will be around for a long time after we're gone.

---Medic stationed in Iraq

Miulang

[LikaNui]

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out...

... but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.

[LikaNui]

Reviving this thread with this one:

“We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce
the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know
that is not true."

[Mike_Lowery]

"The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude."

--Not sure...hell, I'll take credit for it.

[LikaNui]

Dogs have masters.

Cats have staff.

(Sign in a vet's office)

[LikaNui]

If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?

[WindwardOahuRN]

"The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude."

Nah. Sometimes a bad day is just a bad day.

Fork in your eye? Now that's a bad day. Attitude has nothing to do with it.

[PoiBoy]

“The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your time voting.”

- Charles Bukowski

“Some people never go crazy, What truly horrible lives they must live”

- Charles Bukowski

[LikaNui]

“I was married by a judge.

I should have asked for a jury.”

-- Groucho Marx

[LikaNui]

As seen in a women's restroom at Richard's Last Resort in Dallas, TX:

“A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.”


And for Valentines Day:

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
- Chrissy, age 6

[LikaNui]

His 'n hers Valentine's Day poems:

The Gal’s Valentine’s Day Poem:

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother

Kind, intelligent, loving, and hot
This describes everything you are not

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming

My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"

And now for the Guy’s Valentine’s Day Poem:

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, and the violets are dead.
The sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

[Mike_Lowery]

As seen in a women's restroom at Richard's Last Resort in Dallas, TX:

“A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.”


And for Valentines Day:

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
- Chrissy, age 6

On the flip side:

"Never trust anything that bleeds for seven days and doesn't die."

[Menehune Man]

You guys funny... both those last two had me laughing. Thanks!

[craigwatanabe]

The one quote my wife won't let me forget that I said to her in an embrace:

"When I look at other women I don't think of you"

Ummm what I meant was that whenever I look at other women I don't lust because everything I could want in a woman was in the woman I married. But it just didn't come out that way.

Thank God she's analytical and understood what I meant.

[LocalMotion]

i always remember one line taken from the movie/book Shawshank Redemption

"Get busy living, or get busy dying"

[LikaNui]

What disease did cured ham actually have?

[jdub]

What disease did cured ham actually have?

Good question. Not sure, but I can be reasonably sure that it got it from smoking.

[tikiyaki]

i always remember one line taken from the movie/book Shawshank Redemption

"Get busy living, or get busy dying"

Love that movie, and that quote.


"Every day above ground is a good day"

I heard Gene Simmons say it, but I bet it was around bfore him.

[LikaNui]

“My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I
noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath,
"Married!" and walking away. Fabric softeners are how our wives mark their
territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April Fresh
scent out of our clothes.”

Andy Rooney