Your best comeback line?

[blueyecicle]

Re: Your best comeback line?

I don't have comebacks. I just say...Do I look like I want to talk to you?? That usually does it.

[timkona]

Re: Your best comeback line?

When I'm real mad at one of my players, or if they wimp out on something, I will yell "DOES YOUR FATHER HAVE ANY SONS?"

[jdub]

Re: Your best comeback line?

When I was making my first record, our balding manager was snapping at me for being late for a session. I slammed a beer and said, "Rich, man, relax. Let your hair down. It sure as hell let you down." It broke the tension and we went to work.

[helen]

Re: Your best comeback line?

1) I sort of remember when I was young whenever I was stuck on something and person B comes in and suggest something for me to do and I do it, however person C who out ranks person B and me, notices what I did was wrong and I was the only one caught doing it. I then try to defend myself by saying to the effect that "person B told me to do it", in which case person C's response would more than likely be "if person B told you to jump in the lake, are you going to jump in the lake too?". Back then I would be stumped. Now if that question was asked of me today I would it answer it in one of two ways:
a) If the forest around me was burning, than yeah I would jump in the lake.
b) No more lakes around here (disclaimer, would only work on the island of Kauai where there are no lakes).

I suspect that if I had said either answer back then I would have been in more hot water than I was currently in.

2) After dealing with computers for a very long time, I still get from time to time various people coming up to me, asking me for advice on topics or situations that I wouldn't do normally in the first place. Of course sometimes they get frustrated at me because I can't give them any advice. Now I am starting to say if that situation comes up is this:

"Just because I am in the band doesn't mean I can play all of the instruments."

[Sharilyn]

Re: Your best comeback line?

My Mom is in her 80s. An acquaintance always greets her with, "Hey, Mrs. ---, I thought you were dead!" He's trying to be funny, but it grates on her nerves to hear it so often. Anyway, she once replied, "I thought I just went to your funeral." She asked me for better comebacks. Anyone have suggestions? Oh, the man is in his 70s.

[musubi]

Re: Your best comeback line?

My Mom is in her 80s. An acquaintance always greets her with, "Hey, Mrs. ---, I thought you were dead!" He's trying to be funny, but it grates on her nerves to hear it so often. Anyway, she once replied, "I thought I just went to your funeral." She asked me for better comebacks. Anyone have suggestions? Oh, the man is in his 70s.

I'd give the twit a smile and say: "Like your sense of humor?"

[Peshkwe]

Re: Your best comeback line?

My Mom is in her 80s. An acquaintance always greets her with, "Hey, Mrs. ---, I thought you were dead!" He's trying to be funny, but it grates on her nerves to hear it so often. Anyway, she once replied, "I thought I just went to your funeral." She asked me for better comebacks. Anyone have suggestions? Oh, the man is in his 70s.

"Man....your mind is going fast isn't it."

"I was, I came back just to make you ask that question again."

"Oh...Hi Mr. ---, when did you start smuggling golf balls in your socks?"

[TATTRAT]

Re: Your best comeback line?

a line I use to diffuse/end something before it really gets heavy, and it got me out of a few pinches at some less than savory spots living on Oahu: "bro, you sure talk a LOT of shit for someone with a booger hangin' out there nose!". Always causes just enough distraction to be like "whaaaaaaaa?", or "*wipe wipe*" then I am gone.

[Walkoff Balk]

Re: Your best comeback line?

Well, I nevah.
I have half the mind to...
What does this smells like?

I'm more of a set-up for a comeback guy.

[Vanguard]

Re: Your best comeback line?

The Jerkstore called -- they're running out of you!

[Sharilyn]

Re: Your best comeback line?

Thanks, musubi and Peshkwe.

I spoke with my Mom today. She said she saw him the other day, and replied, "You must be getting senile. You say the same thing every time I see you."

I'm not close with many elderly people. Maybe it's only my Mom's 'friends', but they are always dropping insults and poking fun at each other, regarding death, impotence, senility, hearing problems, false teeth, sagging bodies... do all elderly people do that?

[matapule]

Re: Your best comeback line?

My Mom is in her 80s. An acquaintance always greets her with, "Hey, Mrs. ---, I thought you were dead!" He's trying to be funny, but it grates on her nerves to hear it so often. Anyway, she once replied, "I thought I just went to your funeral." She asked me for better comebacks. Anyone have suggestions? Oh, the man is in his 70s.

Tomorrow, I may wake up dead, but you'll still be limp (or ugly, or an idiot, or dumb okole).

This is a variation of a comback attributed to Winston Churchill.

[Walkoff Balk]

Re: Your best comeback line?

You can always do some "Yo mama so fat" insults. But, a downer would be that if she actually has health problems because of her weight.

[cynsaligia]

Re: Your best comeback line?

"what would jesus do? jesus would have signalled!!"

[Walkoff Balk]

Re: Your best comeback line?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKgPY1adc0A

Fool me once.