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  • Re: Toddler thrown onto freeway

    Originally posted by Frankie's Market View Post
    But hey, that's cool. Hopefully, others will "get it."
    I'm sorry you still feel so combative. Obviously I misunderstood the target of scrivener's ire, and you have clarified that when you wrote:
    Your outrage, concerns, and balloons/gifts for Cyrus are all a day late and a dollar short. [...] Oh, I know. The public's reactions to this incident and their contributions to the overpass memorial are all well-intentioned and sincere. But if you want to get right down to it, none of it does Cyrus any good at this point. He's gone from this world and nothing that anyone does will ever bring him back. That may sound sound harsh, but it's true.
    That you were not being in any way dismissive of the people visiting and leaving gifts. I was clearly imagining things. And so I said, hey, I'm in complete agreement with you, and always was. People are sad, and Something Must Be Done™.

    Obviously this case and this issue is upsetting to everyone, and we're all responding in different ways. I know I'm not the only one whose unusually sensitive.

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    • Re: Toddler thrown onto freeway

      Originally posted by pzarquon View Post
      I know I'm not the only one whose unusually sensitive.
      No you're not. I'm right there with you.
      ___
      "Be god to each other."

      Comment


      • Re: Toddler thrown onto freeway

        Well regardless of what happened and who to look for to blame it all on, the fact is something's gotta happen so this can't happen again.

        It all comes down to money and yeah I agree that when we're getting all pissy about locker room facilities we really need to get focused on the more pressing needs like protecting human life.

        You know if we could abolish the entire UH sports program and focus on what a university is SUPPOSED to do I think we'd have more money to spread around to pay our underpaid educators and social welfare workers. Really now is sports all that important when there is human suffering going on at the same time?
        Life is what you make of it...so please read the instructions carefully.

        Comment


        • Re: Toddler thrown onto freeway

          Here is my Letter to the Editor printed today in the Maui News.



          It’s children who suffer when welfare agency system fails

          The list of children who have died and nearly died from abuse and neglect in Hawaii continues to grow – Cyrus, Peter Boy and Shari. I am the paternal grandmother who joyfully adopted Shari, who was nearly beaten to death by her mother’s boyfriend in March 2006.

          One of the common threads all these precious children had in common were families with histories involving the Child Protection Services. In the two years since Shari’s near fatal beating we have been involved with many medical and educational professionals. They all say the same thing: Reports of abuse are made, the child is taken for a short period and then placed right back into the home.

          During the last call I made to CPS, I was told by Shari’s social worker that it was noted in her case file that Shari was “clumsy.”

          Less than three weeks later Shari was in a pediatric intensive care unit fighting for her life. X-rays of Shari showed previous rib fractures consistent with a “squeeze and twist” form of abuse. The pictures I had taken in February 2006 were also consistent with child abuse.

          I have absolutely no desire to start a personal war with the Department of Human Services. I do want DHS to hear my experience to hopefully initiate positive changes.

          Without change there will be no change. We will again read of yet another Cyrus, Peter Boy and Shari. It’s just a matter of time.

          Cheryl Oelrich

          Kihei

          Comment


          • Re: Toddler thrown onto freeway

            Originally posted by scrivener View Post
            For the record, I would like to say that "shut the **** up" is aimed at people wanting to blame CPS, not at people who are mourning.
            Come on over to my house bend down and slap Shari in the face! But don't hit her to hard because she is at risk for brain bleds due to the brain damage she suffered form her near death beating. Right after you do that maybe you can explain to her why and how she was left in such an abusive home. Someday she will ask me that very question.....should I tell her to "shut the **** up"? You definately hit a nerve!

            Comment


            • Re: Toddler thrown onto freeway

              Originally posted by craigwatanabe View Post
              Really now is sports all that important when there is human suffering going on at the same time?
              Must be important to the late Patsy Mink to ratify Title IX.

              Maybe if Tunoa had been active in sports and come into contact with better mentors he probably might have a different perspective in life.

              Not everyone is book-smart. Gangs exist because they're bored and don't know what to do with their lives. Bored people tend to do stupid things.

              BTW, what does Tunoa's family (his parents and/or his siblings) have said about this waste of genetic lard? How do you co-exist with a family member who is an abuser?
              Last edited by Random; January 27, 2008, 01:09 PM.
              Beijing 8-08-08 to 8-24-08

              Tiananmen Square 4-15-89 to 6-04-89

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              • Re: Toddler thrown onto freeway

                I don't know what Tunoa's family has said about him but I read a news article that Tunoa's parents plan to seek custody of Janel Tupuola's two youngest children, whom they believe to be fathered by Tunoa.

                http://www.honoluluadvertiser.com/ap...=2008801230407

                Comment


                • Re: Toddler thrown onto freeway

                  Originally posted by Adri View Post
                  I don't know what Tunoa's family has said about him but I read a news article that Tunoa's parents plan to seek custody of Janel Tupuola's two youngest children, whom they believe to be fathered by Tunoa.

                  http://www.honoluluadvertiser.com/ap...=2008801230407
                  What article?

                  Should they be granted custody since they didn't have a handle on their own son?
                  Beijing 8-08-08 to 8-24-08

                  Tiananmen Square 4-15-89 to 6-04-89

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                  • Re: Toddler thrown onto freeway

                    Random: I linked to the article in my prior post (and the link is also in the part of my post you quoted)

                    Comment


                    • Re: Toddler thrown onto freeway

                      Originally posted by Adri View Post
                      Random: I linked to the article in my prior post (and the link is also in the part of my post you quoted)
                      Random, the article is not about the Tunoa family attempting to get the children. That reference is contained within the article about Janel's services.

                      Comment


                      • Re: Toddler thrown onto freeway

                        Paragraph seven of the story:
                        Meanwhile, in an e-mail appeal for financial support for the five children and husband that Tupuola left behind, friends learned that Tunoa's parents plan to seek custody of Tupuola's two youngest children. Tunoa believes he is the father of Truelyn, 2, and Junior, 1, Tupuola's family has said.

                        The Tupuola family is very upset at the idea and opposes the placement, said Gail Badajos, Tupuola's sister.

                        "Nobody wants to place the children in that kind of household," Badajos said.
                        "If it's brown, it's cooked. If it's black, it's f***ed" - G. Ramsey

                        Comment


                        • Re: Toddler thrown onto freeway

                          Originally posted by cherla42 View Post
                          Come on over to my house bend down and slap Shari in the face! But don't hit her to hard because she is at risk for brain bleds due to the brain damage she suffered form her near death beating.
                          Of course it's easy to accuse me of endorsing the abuse of children if I stick up for CPS social workers whom you think are complicit in children's harm, but do you truly think that's what a rational, thinking human being means? The fact that I disagree with you on who is to blame for the death of the boy (and I do disagree -- I am not backing down from my position) should in no way be taken as an insult to the children who, despite the system put in place to protect them, still suffer harm. It's a cheap shot, and you know it. I am in favor of lowering the drinking age to eighteen as well: Does this mean that I'm offering a slap in the face to families who've lost loved ones in drunk-driving accidents involving underaged drinkers? Hell no.

                          You want to blame CPS. Fine. You are taking measures to make what you think could be meaningful change. Terrific. You are going to encounter people along the way who do not agree with you in full. To accuse those who disagree of slapping abused babies in the face is morally reprehensible and is not going to win anyone over to your side of the argument.

                          A lot of readers here are giving you a wide berth because you have gone through something inconceivably awful. You deserve that kind of consideration. But if you're going to handle a disagreement about something by accusing me of slapping your daughter in the face, then let's take the gloves off and have at it, shall we? But don't hold the poor little girl up as a shield in front of you: Show me instead that my position is wrong! I contend that CPS is a vital, important agency who is understaffed and whose social workers and aids are underpaid. You hold that it is administered in an unwise fashion. I fail to see where my endorsement for increased pay and more staffing in any way contradicts what you have to say.

                          You imply that CPS itself was a neglectful ward and therefore complicit in Shari's injuries and Cyrus's death. That's quite an accusation. To imply that CPS as an agency just doesn't care for the welfare of children is so wrong I don't even know where to begin, but I'll just say for now that you're talking about a lot of people who could take their talents and skills elsewhere and make a lot more money for a lot less grief than in the human services field, so to accuse them of child neglect is abhorrent. To accuse the system of being bogged down with administrative hassles and institutional quicksand is another story, and it's the approach I choose, rather than basically to call CPS and its administrators killers.


                          Right after you do that maybe you can explain to her why and how she was left in such an abusive home. Someday she will ask me that very question.....should I tell her to "shut the **** up"? You definately hit a nerve!
                          Apparently your answer is going to be something along the lines of, "The state of Hawaii didn't care whether you lived or died." After you've given her that answer, invite me over and I will answer her question. I don't know exactly what I'll say, but it will be along the lines of, "The evil people are your parents, not the group of human beings who tried in their own limited capacity to do the right thing. They are human beings, and sometimes even with the best of intentions, human beings make mistakes." I don't think it will help, because when a mistake results in the horrible injury or death of a human being, there's is really no consolation. I do get that, you know.

                          No, I do not think you should tell HER to "shut the **** up," because if she someday blames CPS for her injuries, I don't think I could fault her: It sounds like you do, too. As I said, my statement was aimed at people who want to blame CPS social workers for Cyrus's death. The fact that you are insulted by it is unfortunate, but perhaps rather than at me, your anger should be directed at pzarquon, who posted the original link. You never would have known about my journal entry otherwise, so it's his fault, right?

                          Of course it isn't. Yet that's the kind of thing you're aiming at me right now: I wrote something that was meant to express my frustration at a system that doesn't pay its social workers and aides enough. You took that as an insult to your adopted daughter. What puzzles me is that I am offering a suggestion that I think will make future children less vulnerable, yet you insist on calling it an insult to your daughter. I should turn around and accuse YOU of slapping young Cyrus's dead body in the face, since you seem to disagree with my position that social workers should be paid more. But I won't, because that would cheap.
                          Last edited by scrivener; January 27, 2008, 06:11 PM.
                          But I'm disturbed! I'm depressed! I'm inadequate! I GOT IT ALL! (George Costanza)
                          GrouchyTeacher.com

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                          • Re: Toddler thrown onto freeway

                            Okay, I've been thinking about what I wrote, and I notice a HUGE flaw in my own reasoning. I don't take back anything I said (except for two bad editing errors I won't point out), but my flaw looks like this:

                            I wrote, "Shut the **** up and pay some social workers" to a very nameless, faceless group of people who I anticipated were going to blame CPS for the death of this boy.

                            cherla42 is, apparently, one of those people. She responded by indicating that what I wrote is so insulting, I might as well fly to Maui and slap her abused child, whom she also thinks was injured in part because of CPS's negligence.

                            I wrote that it was a cheap move, but I never addressed the actual complaint, which seems to involve at least in part the "shut the **** up and pay some social workers" line. In a way, if that's all I'd written, that would be just as cheap and dismissive as I accuse cherla42 of being, except that I struck first.

                            I already explained that what I originally posted elsewhere, in a space I reserve for my own thoughts about whatever's on my mind and from which I address a nameless, faceless, mostly imagined audience somewhere out there was mainly a string of unplanned, unorganized thoughts I wanted to write down before I went to bed. I wrote the title "shut the **** up and pay some social workers" at the very end, after my last paragraph. In truth, I don't really mean to say "shut the **** up and do what I think is right," because (a) I don't even say, ever, the phrase "shut the **** up" because I pretty much never cuss, depending on your definition of cussing, and (b) well, I don't really have a (b). I thought I'd think of one by the time I got here and I didn't.

                            But I confess that I do FEEL that way a lot, for reasons I list in the original journal entry. There's always all this talking about what's wrong with teachers and social workers, and everyone complains about the result, but it seems to me that nobody ever actually does anything or wants to discuss how incredibly difficult it is to do these jobs effectively beneath a state bureaucracy that discourages initiative. "Shut up and pay them" is truly my sentiment, but it's not really a sentence I'd use in discussing the topic with someone else. Since it was quoted here, I can't blame cherla42 for feeling that it was aimed at her, one of the people here who has voiced the opinion that CPS is partially to blame.

                            So I offer a small apology for a couple of things: First, that the title of a list of unplanned thoughts found its way to you and offended you; my words were meant not as a directive or imperative, but as a way of voicing my frustration hopefully to like-minded readers. And second, that rather than trying to understand why you might be offended, I sought to find fault with your response. I still think your response was a cheap shot, but I can definitely see it now as a cheap shot aimed at someone you thought took the first cheap shot. Please know it was never meant that way, though it was, in truth, meant. Just not that way.
                            But I'm disturbed! I'm depressed! I'm inadequate! I GOT IT ALL! (George Costanza)
                            GrouchyTeacher.com

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                            • Re: Toddler thrown onto freeway

                              Scriv...wow. I keep editing and re-editing what I want to say (thank god for the backspace key). After reading your last post all I want to say is, "alright then...moving along now"

                              As wrong as it sounds...you're right.
                              Life is what you make of it...so please read the instructions carefully.

                              Comment


                              • Re: Toddler thrown onto freeway

                                hi this is sansei and today my mom and myself were coming home when we pass the overpass where the toddler was thrown over the overpass and when we passed it,i felt something when we passed it and it was a feeling of loss and i felt for the family of the toddler and where the killer matt higa lived and we saw the overpass where they put up the memorial and it was very sad so I Thought to share this with everyone.

                                well thank's for your time

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