Make it Memorable...On Writing

[pumpkinboy]

I wanted to try and do something positive, something that may help HT readers and members of our media alike improve their writing or at least get their creative juices flowing.

In this thread, I was hoping all of the writers and would be writers and wanna be journalists (like myself, before I got sucked into accounting) can contribute memorable, creative writing. A phrase, a sentence, whatever.

I'm just so frustrated by what I see as a lack of creative writing not only in the local market, but especially in the national market (ABC News, NBC News, etc.)

There was a time long ago...when you could hear phrases like this NBC promo on runway models:

The video shows gorgeous women and studly men strutting down a runway at a fashion show. The video is a promo for an upcoming report on runway models and fashion and the fashion industry in general.


The writing: "Their LOOK, makes YOU look. And that's worth millions."



Now, I dunno about you folks but that really hit home for me.

It's been years, years since I've even seen writing that good on the national news.

So, maybe we can all contribute and keep this going

[pumpkinboy]

Re: Make it Memorable...On Writing

Tonight on ABC National news there was a report on the officers who fired about 50 shots at an unarmed man, and who were found not to be at fault.

Anyway, a story of this magnitude, which has parallels to the Rodney King beating in that the community is incensed at the verdict, has a lot of potential.

Instead, the reporter ended the story with the obvious sentence.

Something to the effect, "In this case, there are no winners. A man lost his life."


Okay, that is pretty obvious and we get it.

How could this story ending have been improved?

The last image of the story was a wide, overhead view of people gathering...cannot remember if it was outside the courthouse.

[pumpkinboy]

Re: Make it Memorable...On Writing

"Despite the verdict, it is obvious there are no winners. (insert video of protestors or close up of protest sign demanding justice)

"One man is dead, his family...still in mourning...and a community's faith perhaps forever shaken. --- ABC News."


(insert photo of dead man, insert video of grieving family members, end with wide shot of protestors or cross at man's gravesite if there is one)

[pumpkinboy]

Re: Make it Memorable...On Writing

One pet peeve of mine is the use of the words "flip over."

When talking about a car accident, the proper way is to simply say "flip."

When something "flips" it does in fact turn over. That is the definition of the word flip.

To say "flip over" is redundant.

[Karen]

Re: Make it Memorable...On Writing

Improve upon that ending statement? without an agenda and without sensationalizing it? Sorry, but I have to disagree that it could be done. sure, if one wanted to appeal to the emotions that helped to erupt the Rodney king fiasco, one could've ended with countless dramatic closing statements, but some things are just obvious and in being impartial I think the person you were watching/listening to handled it very well, not denying tragedy but not "fanning the flames" that could erupt over the verdict, either.

Tonight on ABC National news there was a report on the officers who fired about 50 shots at an unarmed man, and who were found not to be at fault.

Anyway, a story of this magnitude, which has parallels to the Rodney King beating in that the community is incensed at the verdict, has a lot of potential.

Instead, the reporter ended the story with the obvious sentence.

Something to the effect, "In this case, there are no winners. A man lost his life."


Okay, that is pretty obvious and we get it.

How could this story ending have been improved?

The last image of the story was a wide, overhead view of people gathering...cannot remember if it was outside the courthouse.

[pumpkinboy]

Re: Make it Memorable...On Writing

That is good feedback Karen and I appreciate it.

This is what I'm hoping to accomplish with this thread, different viewpoints on writing.

[Karen]

Re: Make it Memorable...On Writing

Sure, very welcome. I am glad you finally posted more on this thread of yours because I just couldn't get a handle on it...what you were hoping to do with this thread. You asked a valid question, so it's cool.

[MyopicJoe]

Re: Make it Memorable...On Writing

The writing: "Their LOOK, makes YOU look. And that's worth millions."

Nicely crafted sentence

On a tangent, I like the opening credits to this mini-documentary (the "not pretty really" fade-in title thing):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bd4Gpi9ksXw

Pita Pit!

One pet peeve of mine is the use of the words "flip over."

I massacre the English language (and punctuation) too much to rightfully have a pet peeve The hardest thing about being a person who enjoys writing is the fact that most people don't. Still, it's good to hold oneself to higher standards.

Improve upon that ending statement? without an agenda and without sensationalizing it?

Good point. It'd be interesting to come up with a way, though it escapes me at the moment. Perhaps I'll be inspired the next time I meditate upon my porcelain throne.

[Creative-1]

Re: Make it Memorable...On Writing

My books are purposely written in a conversational style. I put very little time into polishing sentences. I just want to get my point across.

I want my stories to shine, not my prose. I'd prefer that readers not even notice HOW I write. And, while I've had hundreds of comments about the stories I tell, only one person has given me feedback on my writing style.

[mel]

Re: Make it Memorable...On Writing

Do people notice writing style more in TV/radio and other forms of electronic media or more so with print media (traditional and internet)?

[DNR55]

Re: Make it Memorable...On Writing

My thought is that in the case of television news reporting, the writers are under under a very tight schedule. Too tight to afford the luxury of imaginative and finely crafted phrases. Unlike print media, A tv news piece is like a 3-dimensional puzzle. You have to think about the words, the pictures and the delivery (speech) simultaneously. ...not an easy thing to do under time constraints.

[scrivener]

Re: Make it Memorable...On Writing

My books are purposely written in a conversational style. I put very little time into polishing sentences. I just want to get my point across.

I haven't read your books, but you say one very important thing here, two different ways, and they contradict your purpose.

If you "just want to get your point across," then you absolutely must pay attention to your prose. Getting your point across is the primary purpose of nearly ALL writing. That's what communication is. You may think that writing in a conversational style is good enough to do so, but remember that when you converse with someone orally, there are other media for your message: Your posture, your intonation, and your relationship to the person with whom you are conversing, to name three. When you write, all you have are your words. To use an extreme example, when I say, "I caught a fish this big" in conversation, my friends know what I mean because they can see the accompanying gesture. You'd never write that, for obvious reasons.

So either your prose is frequently unintelligible, or you DO NOT merely write conversationally.

I want my stories to shine, not my prose. I'd prefer that readers not even notice HOW I write. And, while I've had hundreds of comments about the stories I tell, only one person has given me feedback on my writing style.

The only way your stories will shine (with little attention paid by the reader to your prose) is if you pay very, very, very careful attention to your prose. Believe me, I hear what you are saying. You don't want your writing style to be the attention-getter, and that is a very, very difficult thing to pull off! When you get a chance, read a chapter or two of Larry McMurtry's Pulitzer-Prize-winning Lonesome Dove, one of the best novels I've ever read. McMurtry writes with an almost invisible style, but you know what? That takes enormous writing skill! Many people think Stephen King has no identifiable style, but those people are also wrong: One reason it seems King writes invisibly is that his style is very cinematic. Readers so easily picture what he's writing about because he's found a way to put movies on the page, so that it feels as if you're looking at a film and not reading a book. That takes incredible skill. These guys did not just sit down and write conversationally, yet they accomplish exactly what you say is your goal.

You say you have only received one comment about your writing style, and take that as a good sign. I haven't read your stuff (except when I've seen it on tables in restaurants), so I can't comment on that. But please, if communicating clearly with people is your goal, do not dismiss the importance of good writing! Nobody's saying you have to be James Joyce. In fact, if you were to write like Joyce, you'd lose your target audience. This, however, does not mean that you should not always strive to write as clearly, skillfully, and gracefully as possible.

I've met a lot of writers and musicians, and I try to stay as positive as I can about their work when I speak to them in person. If I think the drumming on a friend's CD is lousy, I usually don't take that moment to mention it, unless I'm asked specifically about the drumming. Instead, I'll focus on the positive, and say that the lyrics are thoughtful, or the mix is well done. If my friend gets a thousand comments about the mix and no comments about the drums, should she assume the drums are fine and that nobody cares about them?

[Karen]

Re: Make it Memorable...On Writing

Roadrunner or the puter froze here....edited it into oblivion.

[Karen]

Re: Make it Memorable...On Writing

Myopic Joe, well, didja have a "fruitful" morning of meditation? LOL.....report back of any revelations, will ya?!

Mel, I think a lot of us don't notice anything about writing style when we're reallly focused on and into the message. In written form I would think we notice it the most, sure.

If someone speaks and they have me really "into" their story then I am not too aware of anything else unless it's glaringly so, whatever it is, like a really strong accent, habit of a certain type of phrase, or so disjointed that it is hard to follow, etc.

[MyopicJoe]

Re: Make it Memorable...On Writing

Myopic Joe, well, didja have a "fruitful" morning of meditation? LOL.....

LMAO

That reminds me of being a kid, eating Cap’n Crunch Crunch Berries, and being shocked at what I...produced

report back of any revelations, will ya?!

Perhaps I can divine the future from the patterns floating in the bowl...sorry sorry, that was a bit gross. LOL.

I put very little time into polishing sentences. I just want to get my point across.

I should adopt a bit of your philosophy. I can burn an hour agonizing over just 3 sentences. After investing all that energy, I find it hard to be ruthless during the editorial process. I need to sketch the entire story first and then go back and work on the details, instead of the other way around. I just enjoy the details too much for my own good. I could never produce a novel with my current writing habits.

Readers so easily picture what he's writing about because he's found a way to put movies on the page, so that it feels as if you're looking at a film and not reading a book. That takes incredible skill. These guys did not just sit down and write conversationally, yet they accomplish exactly what you say is your goal.

Good point. As with most crafts and trades, it takes a lot of skill to make something appear simple and elegant.