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A slice of your life that you wish to share

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  • #46
    Re: A slice of your life that you wish to share

    today is my baby boy's first day of his senior year in high school. *sigh*
    all these memories of his first day of kinder are flooding my mind.
    i feel the need for a stiff drink already.

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    • #47
      Re: A slice of your life that you wish to share

      Originally posted by anapuni808 View Post
      We just have to stand there & be squished and if your'e a "well endowed" female, it just involves more squishing!
      Kay den, but prostate exam same ting for "well endowed" male.
      Peace, Love, and Local Grindz

      People who form FIRM opinions with so little knowledge only pretend to be open-minded. They select their facts like food from a buffet. David R. Dow

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      • #48
        Re: A slice of your life that you wish to share

        Originally posted by matapule View Post
        No, dat not it, you silly womans. Doctor went in through North Pole not South Pole. Li dis.


        I saw that whilst looking for the other but didn't choose it 'cause usually that one is associated with biopsy...and I was hoping it wasn't serious like that.

        I take it you've never had to have a catheter eh?

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        • #49
          Re: A slice of your life that you wish to share

          Originally posted by matapule View Post
          No, dat not it, you silly womans. Doctor went in through North Pole not South Pole. Li dis.
          That procedure exists for women, too, altho' the scope doesn't need to travel as far.

          Please correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think there's a comparable xray for a man to a mammogram for a woman. Hence my decades long ambition to invent the penogram...2 metal plates that act as a vice clamp! As anapuni mentioned...more shared experiences with men and equality!

          Ladies...xray tech, Debbie, at the Kapiolani Women's Center on Artesian and Beretania, is fabulous and fast.

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          • #50
            Re: A slice of your life that you wish to share

            Originally posted by SusieMisajon View Post
            I have a funny story about a speculum...

            I was at my OB-GYN...the usual up on the table, feet in the stirrups thing...when he pulled open a drawer beside him and got out a speculum. I said to him, "You know, Doc, in the US these things are heated in a bucket of warm water in order to make them more comfortable". He smiled and laughed and said, "Suze, in France we do it like this", as he formed his lips onto an 'O' and huffed on the speculum to warm it.
            My funny story is when I was in the Air Force I had to get the annual and my female military doctor calls into the other room for her new student physicians assistant to feel my "perfect uterus".

            The PA comes in and immediately gets the deer in the headlights look.

            It was the guy who was trying to date me from my therapy sessions with my back injury. He was doing his first OBGYN rotation and knew he couldn't back out...so he turns day glow red, does the exam looking at the ceiling the whole time while the Captain Dr. chattered away about feel this and feel that.

            From then on if I saw him in the hospital he'd turn bright red and dodge into any room or hall he could till I went away.

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            • #51
              Re: A slice of your life that you wish to share

              Originally posted by tutusue View Post
              Hence my decades long ambition to invent the penogram...2 metal plates that act as a vice clamp! .
              Dream on Tutu! Nobody getting near matapule with a vice clamp! Matapule tink dere place foa you on Board of Directors of Lorena Bobbit School of Male Cosmetic Surgery.

              After uaifi hav mamogram, matapule take uaifi out to dinner, massage uafi neck, make uaifi a strong one. Uaifi get all betta quick.
              Peace, Love, and Local Grindz

              People who form FIRM opinions with so little knowledge only pretend to be open-minded. They select their facts like food from a buffet. David R. Dow

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              • #52
                Re: A slice of your life that you wish to share

                Originally posted by Peshkwe View Post
                My funny story is ........
                Matapule dated a girl once (not matapule's uaifi) who loved to tell this story in mixed company. Somehow a tampon got lost in the nether parts of her body, she didn't go into detail how, blessed be. She was going on a blind date that night, she was feeling uncomfortable, so she decided to go to the emergency room where a young intern fished it out. Her blind date that night?..........the young intern from the emergency room! Well it was embarrassing for both and they never dated again.
                Peace, Love, and Local Grindz

                People who form FIRM opinions with so little knowledge only pretend to be open-minded. They select their facts like food from a buffet. David R. Dow

                Comment


                • #53
                  Re: A slice of your life that you wish to share

                  Uaifi is a very lucky woman. You're a good man, matapule. Still doesn't mean you're exempt from a penogram! Actually, when administered appropriately, and depending on the woman's condition, a mammogram causes discomfort rather than floor puking pain...and with no residual discomfort once the vice clamp is released!

                  Sorry you had to go thru your ordeal. I'll take a mammogram any day!

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                  • #54
                    Re: A slice of your life that you wish to share

                    Mahalo plenty!!

                    (**wipes tears of laughter from cheeks**)

                    Matapule, I am sorry for your cystogram; and I wish you lots of "better living through chemistry" next time, mr. gurley man. but That Was Hilarious!! (P.S. the nurse should have encouraged you to use some anesthetic)

                    Peshkwe, loved the story with the poor PA! Isn't military medicine grand??

                    Susie--I was afraid your doctor was gonna warm that spec another way.

                    tutu--I hadda go thru a revisit with MORE COMPRESSION in May; the tech was great and worked with me and my tolerance level (read FEAR); she got what she wanted, finally, using the hand crank instead of the foot pedal (iykwim.)

                    this really brightened my morning; thanks for the funnies!!

                    Comment


                    • #55
                      Re: A slice of your life that you wish to share

                      Originally posted by cyleet99 View Post
                      [...]tutu--I hadda go thru a revisit with MORE COMPRESSION in May; the tech was great and worked with me and my tolerance level (read FEAR); she got what she wanted, finally, using the hand crank instead of the foot pedal (iykwim.)
                      Debbie used a combo of both; the foot pedal, then the hand crank. That made a big difference, afaic.

                      Aha...it took me a few minutes but I figured out what iykwim means!!! In all my online years, I'd not seen that before!
                      this really brightened my morning; thanks for the funnies!!
                      Laughter is, after all, the best medicine. Glad we could oblige...not that you needed medicine!

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                      • #56
                        Re: A slice of your life that you wish to share

                        I never know what most forum abbreviations are, unless I google 'em, but one time a loooong time ago I saw that one, and it was faster at the moment.

                        Still gigglin'......pua matapule!! His third-person description and the way he wrote it was just too funny.

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                        • #57
                          Re: A slice of your life that you wish to share

                          Originally posted by matapule View Post
                          Matapule dated a girl once (not matapule's uaifi) who loved to tell this story in mixed company. Somehow a tampon got lost in the nether parts of her body, she didn't go into detail how, blessed be. She was going on a blind date that night, she was feeling uncomfortable, so she decided to go to the emergency room where a young intern fished it out. Her blind date that night?..........the young intern from the emergency room! Well it was embarrassing for both and they never dated again.
                          Yup...that'd do it fo sho!



                          Originally posted by cyleet99 View Post


                          Peshkwe, loved the story with the poor PA! Isn't military medicine grand??

                          Ahhh....if you mean grand as a shortcut for Grand Inquisition....

                          HOOO you got that one right!!

                          Comment


                          • #58
                            Re: A slice of your life that you wish to share

                            Pasta Bread Bowls from Dominos are gooood! And with this post, I am now a Kumu!

                            Can't think of anything creative this time

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                            • #59
                              Re: A slice of your life that you wish to share

                              My youngest (12yrs) did real good today.

                              She went in for a research study, a PET scan and an MRI. The neurology dept is trying to build a database of kids considered neurologically normal as a comparison pool for use with the tests of kids with seizure activity, autism, traumatic brain injury, fetal alcohol syndrome, etc.

                              They decide they want her in early for an IQ test, 10am. So she starts working on it and then they call her in for the PET scan at 2pm and they have to finish the IQ test after. Well the PET ends up taking three hours 'cause they can't find good veins to poke for the IV isotopes...and she hasn't eaten in all that time.

                              Finally it's done and she goes back to the test while I run to get her some food...it's math and she finishes all but the last 6 problems. She says she would have tried to do them but all she was thinking about was food so she quit.

                              Sara the IQ tester said that it was ok, that those problems were at the 9th grade level and she hadn't expected Amber to get as far as she did being she was just going to be entering 7th grade.

                              The PET scan tech said she was the best patient so far...that it's really hard for normal kids to keep absolutely still for that long.

                              The MRI after that was a lot easier being she got to wear goggles and watch a movie through them while the testing was going on...but they're going to send her a DVD with some of her scans on it so she can use it as a school project maybe...we got out of there at about 6:30pm.

                              Loooong day! But the youngest spawn done good.

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                              • #60
                                Re: A slice of your life that you wish to share

                                My flight leaves in 3 hours on my way to northern and southern california for a family reunion. I am really excited!!! I've missed my family a whole lot....I will than make my way back home to the eastcoast (brooklyn) for a short visit....I've missed the stinky smell of the sewer, the outlets and most of all the rude people of brooklyn.

                                I've been home sick for a long while and I've missed home. I've missed my family especially *sighs*.

                                Have a pleasant week HT ohana.

                                Lomi
                                Last edited by Seeking Penance; August 4, 2009, 12:34 PM. Reason: go USC!!!
                                stay forever young

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