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Thread: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

  1. #51

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by Amati View Post
    Aint that the truth. For the most part, HT is a great place to visit. Sometimes is does seem to get a bit cranky, but that is the time I take a vacation from posting.
    Sounds like a wise idea, indeed. I plead guilty to being taken in by taunts and baits after being dogged in several threads. I just have to resolve to handle it better in the future.
    This post may contain an opinion that may conflict with your opinion. Do not take it personal. Polite discussion of difference of opinion is welcome.

  2. #52
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    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    I sometimes get called "not nice" for some of my postings. I guess that's the penalty for being blunt & honest with what I have to say. If it's something I feel strongly about - I will speak out and not really care if I offend other folks.

    As for actually being "not nice" on HT - that has only happened with one person (and if you're lurking, you know who you are) and I just did not like that person or anything they had to say. They don't post anymore so maybe I was too blunt.? But, I have a very low tolerance for newcomers to the islands who are also stupid.

    (oops, maybe I shouldn't have said that either?)
    Last edited by anapuni808; May 7th, 2009 at 10:07 PM.

  3. #53
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    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by anapuni808 View Post
    I sometimes get called "not nice" for some of my postings. I guess that's the penalty for being blunt & honest with what I have to say. If it's something I feel strongly about - I will speak out and not really care if I offend other folks.

    As for actually being "not nice" on HT - that has only happened with one person and I just did not like that person or anything they had to say. They don't post anymore so maybe I was too blunt.? But, I have a very low tolerance for newcomers to the islands who are also stupid.

    (oops, maybe I shouldn't have said that either?)
    i have the feeling i know which person you're talking about, anapuni.

    if so, then yeah...that person was most certainly stupid, and you not saying so aloud would not have changed the stupid factor for better. didn't i liken that one to a used condom at one point? maybe i should shoulder some of the blame for that person not posting anymore.
    superbia (pride), avaritia (greed), luxuria (lust), invidia (envy), gula (gluttony), ira (wrath) & acedia (sloth)--the seven deadly sins.

    "when you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people i deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly..."--meditations, marcus aurelius (make sure you read the rest of the passage, ya lazy wankers!)

    nothing humiliates like the truth.--me, in conversation w/mixedplatebroker re 3rd party, 2009-11-11, 1213

  4. #54

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Any one ask for nice People? I am here. Just thought I include myself on the list.
    A Warrior does not give up on what he loves he finds the love in what he does.

  5. #55

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    What is this 'nice' you speak of?

    I like real myself...or at least a version of nice where it doesn't take an insulin drip to counteract syrup overload.

  6. #56

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by cynsaligia View Post
    maybe i should shoulder some of the blame for that person not posting anymore.
    I blame the results of last fall's presidential election.


    Oh, and in case anyone believes otherwise, anapuni808 is nice. I know this to be true. So do many others. End of debate.

  7. #57

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    I think those nice people went to Anger Management.

  8. #58
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    Wink Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go? Rome.

    Excerpts from the Mediations of Marcus Aurelius:
    Book Two, 1, 5: When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can't tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty or good and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own... and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands, and eyes... To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are obstructions.
    Concentrate every minute like a Roman -- like a man -- on doing what's in front of you with precise and genuine seriousness, tenderly, willingly, with justice...
    Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken!
    ~ ~
    Kaʻonohiʻulaʻokahōkūmiomioʻehiku
    Spreading the virus of ALOHA.
    Oh Chu. If only you could have seen what I've seen, with your eyes.

  9. #59
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    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go? Rome.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaonohi View Post
    Excerpts from the Mediations of Marcus Aurelius:
    Book Two, 1, 5: When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can't tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty or good and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own... and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands, and eyes... To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are obstructions.
    Concentrate every minute like a Roman -- like a man -- on doing what's in front of you with precise and genuine seriousness, tenderly, willingly, with justice...
    yep, dat wat heem sed.

    course, i do believe ole marky mark would have advocated for dying when you are no longer useful to society. if that's correct, does that make him more klingon, vulcan or romulan? and which of these is "nicest?"
    superbia (pride), avaritia (greed), luxuria (lust), invidia (envy), gula (gluttony), ira (wrath) & acedia (sloth)--the seven deadly sins.

    "when you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people i deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly..."--meditations, marcus aurelius (make sure you read the rest of the passage, ya lazy wankers!)

    nothing humiliates like the truth.--me, in conversation w/mixedplatebroker re 3rd party, 2009-11-11, 1213

  10. #60

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    http://classics.mit.edu/Antoninus/me...ons.1.one.html

    Ima gonna have to vote Vulcan.

    But not a modern aged Vulcan...hmmm...maybe a bronze age Vulcan not yet to far removed from his Romulan cousins.

    Marky if brought forward to the present time...I could so see him in torn fishnet, rice powder and black eyeliner.
    Last edited by Peshkwe; May 9th, 2009 at 04:24 AM.

  11. #61
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    Arrow Where Did All The Nice People Go? Home.

    Quote Originally Posted by cynsaligia View Post
    yep, dat wat heem sed.

    course, i do believe ole marky mark would have advocated for dying when you are no longer useful to society. if that's correct, does that make him more klingon, vulcan or romulan? and which of these is "nicest?"
    If you didn't direct me, I never woulda known. Thanks.

    I did it for the "lazy wankers" you mentioned (I'm one, too, but curious...).

    Definitely Vulcan. Nice, but arrogant.

    Klingons would do it for "glory." Romulans would do it just so their enemies couldn't.

    Humans? Hah! Those wimpish, timid apes? Never!
    Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken!
    ~ ~
    Kaʻonohiʻulaʻokahōkūmiomioʻehiku
    Spreading the virus of ALOHA.
    Oh Chu. If only you could have seen what I've seen, with your eyes.

  12. #62
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    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by Leo Lakio View Post
    Oh, and in case anyone believes otherwise, anapuni808 is nice. I know this to be true. So do many others. End of debate
    I know this to be TRUE TOO!

    Auntie Lynn
    Be AKAMAI ~ KOKUA Hawai`i!
    Philippians 4:13 --- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

  13. #63
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    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    [quote=Barry;231717]The negative members who just want to argue, like in a kiddies playground,,,,,, them I've put on ignore/blocked.[quote]
    Me too. But I'll just bet that they're blaming it all on us behind our backs now they know we can't see them any more. Shifting blame, it's called in sociological circles.
    "It's not my fault! They misled me, tricked me, baited me!"

    SO NICE not to have to listen to the drivel.

    I have come to realize that it is just as bad to take offense as it is to give offense.

    I acknowledge my gullibility in the kiddies argument pool. I was stupid, now I'm smarter. I blame no one, for we are all victims of our ignorance or arrogance.
    Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken!
    ~ ~
    Kaʻonohiʻulaʻokahōkūmiomioʻehiku
    Spreading the virus of ALOHA.
    Oh Chu. If only you could have seen what I've seen, with your eyes.

  14. #64
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    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaonohi View Post
    I have come to realize that it is just as bad to take offense as it is to give offense.
    I like that! Thats a a good one. Very good for this day and age when everybody is offended by every little thing.
    "Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it. Do not count on them. Leave them alone."
    Ayn Rand

  15. #65

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30647775/

    Acting nice doesn't give you more air time.

  16. #66

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by Leo Lakio View Post
    Oh, and in case anyone believes otherwise, anapuni808 is nice. I know this to be true. So do many others. End of debate.
    I don't personally know Anapuni, but I believe you.

    Actually, I think 99.99% of people here are nice folks,.... if you have the chance to meet them in person.

    What you and Lynn say brings to mind an important point. People who are nice in everyday life can have strong opinions. The characteristics are not mutually exclusive. Hopefully, we are all (or try to be) diplomatic when stating such opinions. But inevitably, we sometimes fail and this causes huhu and misunderstandings.

    On the other side of the equation are people who take disagreements personally. And this equally contributes to problems and flame wars. Sometimes, it only happens on specific topics to certain people. For example, "Aloha Jane" may handle disagreements well on everything ranging from politics to sports. But on the subject of collecting seashells, where she has a real passion, has an encyclopedic knowledge, and works in the industry, whoa!!! Watch out if you express an opinion that goes contrary to her's. (BTW, Aloha Jane is just a fictional poster concocted as an example, in case anyone here starts criticizing me again for picking on an HTer. ) I think some of us consider certain topics as "our kuleana" on this forum and are use to having the last word on the subject. And then, when somebody says something that goes contrary to our opinion, we take it personally.

    I bring this up, not to make anyone feel bad. (Heck, I'm not excluding myself from being guilty of this from time to time.) But I only bring it up to promote self-awareness. If we recognize and catch this tendency within ourselves on certain subjects, then maybe we won't take things as personally and be easily offended when dealing with others who offers a different POV.

    Just my opinion.
    This post may contain an opinion that may conflict with your opinion. Do not take it personal. Polite discussion of difference of opinion is welcome.

  17. #67

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by Frankie's Market View Post
    maybe we won't take things as personally and be easily offended when dealing with others who offers a different POV.
    Just my opinion.
    It's hard not to take racist slur personally.

  18. #68
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    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    in one's personal life and face to face, yes I agree: it's hard not to take slurs personally. and want to react.

    On this forum however, I don't think I've ever seen a direct attack on someone using racial slurs. There have been comments about different races made in general that are sometimes hard to take. But, being that HT is an internet forum, and not "real" life, I can just (figuratively) walk away. I don't have to respond.

  19. #69

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mahi Waina View Post
    It's hard not to take racist slur personally.
    It's perfectly understandable to be offended by a racist slur, when it is, in fact, uttered. But that's not what I was talking about. I was talking about someone merely offering a different opinion and POV on a matter that differs from ours.

    Making derogatory comments about race, religion, nationality, or other matters re: personal background,...... that's quite another matter entirely from what I was talking about.
    This post may contain an opinion that may conflict with your opinion. Do not take it personal. Polite discussion of difference of opinion is welcome.

  20. #70
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    Wink Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by anapuni808 View Post
    in one's personal life and face to face, yes I agree: it's hard not to take slurs personally. and want to react.

    On this forum however, I don't think I've ever seen a direct attack on someone using racial slurs. There have been comments about different races made in general that are sometimes hard to take. But, being that HT is an internet forum, and not "real" life, I can just (figuratively) walk away. I don't have to respond.
    That's smart. When you are being obviously attacked for no obvious reason it's hard not to react, but you have to abstain, for three good reasons:
    1) It won't serve you or anyone else.
    2) The attacker wants you to react; don't give them the satisfaction.
    3) Reacting only encourages that kind of behaviour.

    Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken!
    ~ ~
    Kaʻonohiʻulaʻokahōkūmiomioʻehiku
    Spreading the virus of ALOHA.
    Oh Chu. If only you could have seen what I've seen, with your eyes.

  21. #71
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    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaonohi View Post
    That's smart. When you are being obviously attacked for no obvious reason it's hard not to react, but you have to abstain, for three good reasons:
    1) It won't serve you or anyone else.
    2) The attacker wants you to react; don't give them the satisfaction.
    3) Reacting only encourages that kind of behaviour.

    I'd like to add one more, Kaonohi!
    4) Often, reacting can cause the reactor to lower him/herself to the level of the accuser.

  22. #72

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by tutusue View Post
    4) Often, reacting can cause the reactor to lower him/herself to the level of the accuser.
    Which is generally the point of the attack, Sue. When it is clear that they can not rise to your level, their only option is to take you down to theirs.

  23. #73

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by Frankie's Market View Post
    On the other side of the equation are people who take disagreements personally.
    Agreed. It's unfortunate that some posters are trapped in such a tar-pit of victimhood that they see any discussion of viewpoints other than theirs as a personal attack.

  24. #74
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    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    And since it's not real life, it's very easy and also very temping to hit the "Post Reply" button and type something because you don't have to deal with the face-to-face fall out of your actions. You can just walk away from HT. A lot of people say things on a forum that they would never say to others in real life. Kind of like how people are all kinds of rude in traffic, but would never dream of cutting in line at the grocery store. (At least not if they wanted to avoid getting smacked in the butt with my cart)

    Can't think of anything creative this time


  25. #75
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    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by tutusue View Post
    I'd like to add one more, Kaonohi!
    4) Often, reacting can cause the reactor to lower him/herself to the level of the accuser.

    Superb advice and should be taken by all.

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