Page 7 of 10 FirstFirst ... 56789 ... LastLast
Results 151 to 175 of 245

Thread: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

  1. #151
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    No. California
    Posts
    2,556

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by cynsaligia View Post
    honestly, i'm ambivalent about this whole "being nice" thing. in a lot of ways, it's a good thing. but a--perhaps unintended--result is that certain ones of the not-nice people are now being sneakily not nice: you go an post an opinion about something; someone else posts an opposing opinion that contains thinly-veiled sneering at you; you call them on it and they plead innocence with the sincerity of a weasel.
    you like when they give the old "conditional" apology like I'm sorry IF I offended you?

    and I agree with you - I'll speak my mind & own my words when I post publicly. and when I post privately, I expect the recipients to respect that I gave THEM enough respect to do so and for the messages to remain private. That doesn't always happen on here (and you folks know who you are ) I always strive for kindness in my words, and truth. I don't like to dis-respect a person's thoughts and opinions and there are ways to disagree without doing so. and WHEN I offend someone, I'll be the first to step & apologize for their hurt feelings. Once something is said/written, you can't really take it back but you can be sorry for causing harm/hurt to another.
    Last edited by anapuni808; June 23rd, 2009 at 02:08 PM.

  2. #152

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by anapuni808 View Post
    I don't like to dis-respect a person's thoughts and opinions and there are ways to disagree without doing so. and WHEN I offend someone, I'll be the first to step & apologize for their hurt feelings. Once something is said/written, you can't really take it back but you can be sorry for causing harm/hurt to another.
    A followup to that is that communication via an internet board is tougher to maintain than in person. Far too often, the message received veers from the message intended, and some people move to defensive mode too quickly, without giving room for another party to clarify - thus escalating the heat level of the "conversation" beyond repair.

  3. #153
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Kahalu`u Stream
    Posts
    2,933

    Wink Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by Leo Lakio View Post
    A followup to that is that communication via an internet board is tougher to maintain than in person. Far too often, the message received veers from the message intended, and some people move to defensive mode too quickly, without giving room for another party to clarify - thus escalating the heat level of the "conversation" beyond repair.
    The lag time makes a difference, too. Often, if you get a message you interpret as offensive it's easy to jump to the defense, but then you wait: will the response be more offense or an apology? The gears grind, you digest the interchange, sometimes even feel MORE offended! (How could that so-and-so [who doesn't even know me] be such an obnoxious idiot! And you get ready for round two - during which time they strengthen their case to put you down, think up new twists and turns, and the war goes on....

    Nice people revert to defensive or offensive mode.
    That's where all the nice people go.

    When it's just so easy to say,

    "Well, you are certainly entitled to your opinion you dumb asshole, and so am I, so BUG OFF!"



    But we're not that evolved yet.

    K.
    Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken!
    ~ ~
    Kaʻonohiʻulaʻokahōkūmiomioʻehiku
    Spreading the virus of ALOHA.
    Oh Chu. If only you could have seen what I've seen, with your eyes.

  4. #154

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaonohi View Post
    Nice people revert to defensive or offensive mode.
    That's where all the nice people go.
    That's a good way to think of it, K; they don't go anywhere, they just react badly - but they're still here.

  5. #155

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by Peshkwe View Post
    The latter is really hard to pull off for any length of time since the 'play acted' character has to be fully developed in order to be convincing.
    It's easy to check up on a new humbug poster by clicking on their All posts by poster. If the poster has all of his/her angry posts on one thread. It's a red flag when they have little or no posts on other threads. And if that poster does post on another thread, there's a hint of an agenda.

  6. #156
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    living in sin in kaimuki w/mixedplatebroker
    Posts
    1,715

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by anapuni808 View Post
    you like when they give the old "conditional" apology like I'm sorry IF I offended you?

    yep. that's the lamest, most insincere attempt at a show of regret while hanging on, gnarly fingered and defiant, to one's ego.
    superbia (pride), avaritia (greed), luxuria (lust), invidia (envy), gula (gluttony), ira (wrath) & acedia (sloth)--the seven deadly sins.

    "when you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people i deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly..."--meditations, marcus aurelius (make sure you read the rest of the passage, ya lazy wankers!)

    nothing humiliates like the truth.--me, in conversation w/mixedplatebroker re 3rd party, 2009-11-11, 1213

  7. #157

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by anapuni808 View Post
    and when I post privately, I expect the recipients to respect that I gave THEM enough respect to do so and for the messages to remain private. That doesn't always happen on here
    Unfortunately, you are right. The idea of private messages remaining private as a matter of common courtesy/basic netiquette cannot be taken for granted anymore.

    Quote Originally Posted by Walkoff Balk View Post
    It's easy to check up on a new humbug poster by clicking on their All posts by poster. If the poster has all of his/her angry posts on one thread. It's a red flag when they have little or no posts on other threads. And if that poster does post on another thread, there's a hint of an agenda.
    True. Another indication I find telling about a poster's history is when that person has a tendency to involve themselves in conflicts on threads where they made no contribution to the original topic/discussion. It's like they fancy themselves as either an online Judge Judy or as Statler and Waldorf (the two old Muppet Show characters who reveled in making commentary about others from the balcony but never involved themselves in what was happening on the stage.)

  8. #158

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    "...as Statler and Waldorf (the two old Muppet Show characters who reveled in making commentary about others from the balcony but never involved themselves in what was happening on the stage"

    For whatever it's worth, (despite their lack of positive contributions to the well being of their community), those two were the best part of an overall great show!

  9. #159
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Haiku & Iolekaa Valley(s)
    Posts
    1,092

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    I try to be as nice as I can. Then I stay behind the gate and hope for the best!

  10. #160
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    No. California
    Posts
    2,556

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    to anyone who is familiar with the Star Wars character, Yoda - you will understand that there is no such thing as "trying". We either are nice or we are not. Leashlaws - I have always thought you were one of the nice ones. I've never seen you be rude or unkind in your postings and you don't engage in what I call "last word-itis" as so many on here do. Sometimes, the smell of testosterone coming off my monitor screen is just too much!

  11. #161
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Wah-key'-key
    Posts
    10,390

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    "Nice" is a 4 letter word...

  12. #162

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by Frankie's Market View Post
    ... Statler and Waldorf (the two old Muppet Show characters who reveled in making commentary about others from the balcony but never involved themselves in what was happening on the stage.)
    Not true. Watch the Milton Berle episode; they heckled (and interacted with) him.

  13. #163

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by anapuni808 View Post
    to anyone who is familiar with the Star Wars character, Yoda - you will understand that there is no such thing as "trying". We either are nice or we are not.
    Oh, dear. I guess I've been fooling myself. I wanted to be in the "nice" category, but my behavior at times has certainly placed me in the "not" camp. Is that permanent? Well, at least it seems to be popular to be over here...

  14. #164

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by Leo Lakio View Post
    Not true. Watch the Milton Berle episode; they heckled (and interacted with) him.
    Is it true about Uncle Milty's legendary large member(I don't mean the jacket)? Anyone has hands on knowledge(no pun intended)of this story?
    It's hurts when I read this. Then, don't read this. That's old skool comedy.

  15. #165

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by Leo Lakio View Post
    Oh, dear. I guess I've been fooling myself. I wanted to be in the "nice" category, but my behavior at times has certainly placed me in the "not" camp. Is that permanent? Well, at least it seems to be popular to be over here...

    Leo you're not fooling yerself...you just one of Popeye's little sweet 'taters.

    Quote Originally Posted by Popeye
    I yam what I yam.

  16. #166
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    No. California
    Posts
    2,556

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by Leo Lakio View Post
    Oh, dear. I guess I've been fooling myself. I wanted to be in the "nice" category, but my behavior at times has certainly placed me in the "not" camp. Is that permanent? Well, at least it seems to be popular to be over here...
    Leo, we can't all be nice all the time. Don't be shocked, but even I slip into the not nice column once in a while. Of course, it's usually when I've been provoked. But most of the time, it's just easier to be nice. I don't need all the stress & tension that goes along with the other side.

  17. #167
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    living in sin in kaimuki w/mixedplatebroker
    Posts
    1,715

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by anapuni808 View Post
    Of course, it's usually when I've been provoked.
    isn't that the problem tho? we're all guilty of reacting as if we had been provoked even if we hadn't. oftentimes, the falsely accused provocateur reacts in kind to a defensive/offensive post, and then the rest of us find ourselves watching a verbal boxing match.

    on the other hand, i've seen lots of times when someone was accused of provoking someone else and protested innocence when, given the posting history, the provocateur has all but practically cornered the market on lying out of his alimentary canal.

    in some ways, it would be ideal if the iagos of a discussion board would be labeled with a scarlet avatar, but i would say HT runs okay without a reputation system. if it had one, i'm not sure HT would be much different, so it's fine that it stays at the current default.

    sidenote: reading thru some of the chiclet discussion again made me realize that turtlegirl might have been inaccurate about the nice people having left. maybe what TG was lamenting is more correctly described as the end of a lull in more "spirited" discussions. *shrug*
    Last edited by cynsaligia; July 12th, 2009 at 05:10 PM.
    superbia (pride), avaritia (greed), luxuria (lust), invidia (envy), gula (gluttony), ira (wrath) & acedia (sloth)--the seven deadly sins.

    "when you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people i deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly..."--meditations, marcus aurelius (make sure you read the rest of the passage, ya lazy wankers!)

    nothing humiliates like the truth.--me, in conversation w/mixedplatebroker re 3rd party, 2009-11-11, 1213

  18. #168
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Oahu now part of the traffic problem in lower Puna
    Posts
    8,415

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    I liked the Chicklet system
    Life is what you make of it...so please read the instructions carefully.

  19. #169
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    living in sin in kaimuki w/mixedplatebroker
    Posts
    1,715

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    egad. this is where i say mea culpa. note to ryan: when i linked to the chiclet thread, i wasn't intending to open a discussion about it. (if i don't say that right off, i'm sure certain crybabies would go shooting off a PM in admin's direction.)

    so let me clarify. in real life, even when you're looking people in their eyes as you talk with them, there are misunderstandings that cause conflict. thankfully, many times a conflict caused by misunderstanding is cleared up by the parties being honest and everyone walks away in accord.

    also in real life, there are people who lie to your face when you call them on their crap, which adds an unnecessary but unfortunately common layer of more crap to the original crapset. real life would be easier if crapshedders were honest crapshedders who would admit their crapshedding status (as shakespeare's iago does to the viewing audience) but unfortunately, crapshedders lie, as crapshedders are wont to do.

    HT mirrors real life with its lack of a chiclet system bcs the people don't walk around, readily labeled for their virtues or sins as hester prynne was. and in the end, people are people. we're sometimes paragons of virtue and patience. other times, we're nothing but bile and phlegm. at other times, we're bags o'joy. twould be great to go to a discussion board and have it be pleasant all the time. unfortunately, if you want to see a myriad of points of views on whatever subjects, it's just not going to be pleasant all the time bcs people feel vehemently about certain things. add to the mix that there are crapshedders dressed in lavender scented wool. *shrug*

    asking for HT to be pleasant all the time is like me asking that posters be honest about their motives and reactions, all the time.

    (and TG, i'm not trying to diss your initial post, which was sweet in its plaintiveness. i'm just saying it's a lot more idealistic than i would dare to be in my mumble age.)
    superbia (pride), avaritia (greed), luxuria (lust), invidia (envy), gula (gluttony), ira (wrath) & acedia (sloth)--the seven deadly sins.

    "when you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people i deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly..."--meditations, marcus aurelius (make sure you read the rest of the passage, ya lazy wankers!)

    nothing humiliates like the truth.--me, in conversation w/mixedplatebroker re 3rd party, 2009-11-11, 1213

  20. #170
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Oahu now part of the traffic problem in lower Puna
    Posts
    8,415

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    wow...I still like the chicklets
    Life is what you make of it...so please read the instructions carefully.

  21. #171
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    living in sin in kaimuki w/mixedplatebroker
    Posts
    1,715

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by craigwatanabe View Post
    wow...I still like the chicklets
    you're incorrigible!

    *hands you a basket of multicolored chiclets accompanied by several chirping and softly feathered chicklets*
    superbia (pride), avaritia (greed), luxuria (lust), invidia (envy), gula (gluttony), ira (wrath) & acedia (sloth)--the seven deadly sins.

    "when you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people i deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly..."--meditations, marcus aurelius (make sure you read the rest of the passage, ya lazy wankers!)

    nothing humiliates like the truth.--me, in conversation w/mixedplatebroker re 3rd party, 2009-11-11, 1213

  22. #172

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    I don't think CW's a man in favor of "gum control."

  23. #173
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    living in sin in kaimuki w/mixedplatebroker
    Posts
    1,715

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    you know, the reason people don't get these quips of yours is not bcs they go over heads, but wallow slitheringly beneath.

    following your lead into what sam johnson would call most base humor, i've done this for the quipper.
    superbia (pride), avaritia (greed), luxuria (lust), invidia (envy), gula (gluttony), ira (wrath) & acedia (sloth)--the seven deadly sins.

    "when you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people i deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly..."--meditations, marcus aurelius (make sure you read the rest of the passage, ya lazy wankers!)

    nothing humiliates like the truth.--me, in conversation w/mixedplatebroker re 3rd party, 2009-11-11, 1213

  24. #174

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    We can agree to disagree then.
    It is what it is then.

  25. #175

    Default Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Quote Originally Posted by cynsaligia View Post
    ...i've done this for the quipper.
    Hee-hee! I knew I could count on you to win one for the quipper.

Page 7 of 10 FirstFirst ... 56789 ... LastLast

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •