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Thread: A man beating his wife

  1. #1
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    Default A man beating his wife

    A man beating his wife !!!


    I got a phone call from a friend in Wales. She heard loud shouts, screams and breakiing glasses.
    Not being a control freak but I advised her to call the police.
    In my opinion, if a man raises his hand to strike a woman, then he ceases to be a man.

    This feller was arrested and is now is bow in Wrexham prison, so we we will see what the outcome will be.

    Those of you who know me also know that as Ex Brit Royal Navy. I would have no mercey on him.
    I am allowed to use "offshore language" ?

    If not ???? I wil Pm you my real feelings and swear words.
    Last edited by Barry; May 20th, 2009 at 11:18 AM.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: A man beating his wife

    For years I have heard of battered women...and I had just been eating them plain.
    flickr

    An email from God:
    To: People of Earth
    From: God
    Date: 9/04/2007
    Subject: stop

    knock it off, all of you

    seriously, what the hell


    --
    God

  3. #3
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    Default Re: A man beating his wife

    Quote Originally Posted by TATTRAT View Post
    For years I have heard of battered women...and I had just been eating them plain.

    sigh. i just can't find that one funny at all. wish i could. i think.
    superbia (pride), avaritia (greed), luxuria (lust), invidia (envy), gula (gluttony), ira (wrath) & acedia (sloth)--the seven deadly sins.

    "when you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people i deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly..."--meditations, marcus aurelius (make sure you read the rest of the passage, ya lazy wankers!)

    nothing humiliates like the truth.--me, in conversation w/mixedplatebroker re 3rd party, 2009-11-11, 1213

  4. #4
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    Default Re: A man beating his wife

    It is in bad taste.
    flickr

    An email from God:
    To: People of Earth
    From: God
    Date: 9/04/2007
    Subject: stop

    knock it off, all of you

    seriously, what the hell


    --
    God

  5. #5
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    Default Re: A man beating his wife

    my brain fried reading that one, then a small giggle steamed out of me.
    superbia (pride), avaritia (greed), luxuria (lust), invidia (envy), gula (gluttony), ira (wrath) & acedia (sloth)--the seven deadly sins.

    "when you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people i deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly..."--meditations, marcus aurelius (make sure you read the rest of the passage, ya lazy wankers!)

    nothing humiliates like the truth.--me, in conversation w/mixedplatebroker re 3rd party, 2009-11-11, 1213

  6. #6

    Default Re: A man beating his wife

    Next, TATTRAT will learn how to "butter up" a potential client.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: A man beating his wife

    Slick....real slick.
    flickr

    An email from God:
    To: People of Earth
    From: God
    Date: 9/04/2007
    Subject: stop

    knock it off, all of you

    seriously, what the hell


    --
    God

  8. #8
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    Default Re: A man beating his wife

    Leo is on a roll today. I am so laughing.

    Okay ladies. Here's the question that this thread is begging. What is it about mean sunsabiches that you girls just cannot resist? Bad men, no job, scars, tattoos, ex-cons, missing teeth, BO, wife-beater t-shirt, perhaps a Harley, with bald tires, and no helmet for the passenger, or even a married dude, who is cheating. What is the attraction?

    What gives? WTF is wrong with the choices you girls are making? Cuz I see hot chicks with loser MF'ers all the time. Maybe it's like moths to a flame. Can't resist.

    I mean, I'm a nice guy. Can't find a girl to save my soul.
    Leo seems like a nice dude. Is he hitched?
    Tattrat, got a chick?

    Admin, if you gotta change the thread cuz I derailed it, then please do, and I apologize.
    FutureNewsNetwork.com
    Energy answers are already here.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: A man beating his wife

    Hey TK...all the good ones are gay and they don't like us gals 'cept as best buds!

    Couldn't resist!

  10. #10
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    Angry Re: A man beating his wife

    There is little excuse for violence, and no excuse for violence by men against women.

    That is all.
    Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken!
    ~ ~
    Kaʻonohiʻulaʻokahōkūmiomioʻehiku
    Spreading the virus of ALOHA.
    Oh Chu. If only you could have seen what I've seen, with your eyes.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: A man beating his wife

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaonohi View Post
    There is little excuse for violence, and no excuse for violence by men against women.

    That is all.
    Nor women against men...which happened outside my bedroom window, new years '06, 3am...she stabbed him in the back in front of their 5 year old. She had major anger issues. Guess that's an understatement!

  12. #12
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    Default Re: A man beating his wife

    Quote Originally Posted by timkona View Post
    Leo is on a roll today. I am so laughing.

    Okay ladies. Here's the question that this thread is begging. What is it about mean sunsabiches that you girls just cannot resist? Bad men, no job, scars, tattoos, ex-cons, missing teeth, BO, wife-beater t-shirt, perhaps a Harley, with bald tires, and no helmet for the passenger, or even a married dude, who is cheating. What is the attraction?

    What gives? WTF is wrong with the choices you girls are making? Cuz I see hot chicks with loser MF'ers all the time. Maybe it's like moths to a flame. Can't resist.

    I mean, I'm a nice guy. Can't find a girl to save my soul.
    Leo seems like a nice dude. Is he hitched?
    Tattrat, got a chick?

    Admin, if you gotta change the thread cuz I derailed it, then please do, and I apologize.

    tim, you better not tick me off w/a flippant reply to this, bcs i'm going to take the time to answer your question. and you know full well that i spent time in an abusive relationship, so i'm trusting you to have some respect (even tho past experience has told me you're not worthy).

    guys like that know how to romance a girl in the beginning. they know that we (society) teach girls that some knight in shining armor is gonna sweep them (girls) off their feet with some choice words, romantically extravagant gestures, and maybe a pretty trinket or two, and everything after that is the happily ever after. they play on that dream. and honestly, most women who have been in an abusive relationship also have had abuse in their family background or at least some sort of emotionally/psychologically scarring experience(s) that make them vulnerable to the game such men play. basically, women involved in a domestic abuse relationship don't understand--indeed, can't conceive--that they deserve better.

    men who hit women romance their victims. they build what seems, initially, to be a protective cocoon and slowly exclude everyone else who was involved in the woman's life. it happens so subtly, and while the woman is totally enthralled by her man, that she never notices until he hits her for the first time that she's all but literally on an island with the guy. at that point, she feels she has nothing and no one else to hold on to. and of course, the guy has become her drug of choice. she does everything she can to regain the initial, fantastical and idyllic romance of the beginning days/weeks/months. because she's now dependent on him and sees the world through his eyes, she is easily convinced it's her fault he hit her.

    if only she didn't wear her hair slightly different today.

    if only she wasn't five minutes late picking him up.

    if only she didn't smile a thank you at the guy selling newspapers.

    if only. if only. if only.

    the drug analogy is quite relevant to the domestic abuse cycle. once you're hooked, it's hard to undo the damage that is done and stop future damage from happening.

    and not every man guilty of domestic violence fits the mean guy stereotype. my ex wasn't obviously the type to beat women. elsewhere, he was affable, charming, relatively successful, had a great sense of humor, sang well and handsome. he kinda looked like a smaller, younger version of LL Cool J but with pinoy and rican blood mixed in with the black. in his group of friends, he was the most popular. no one else saw the mean streak he saw fit to share only with me.

    so how do you stop this problem? i think in many cases, it starts with parenting. part of my deal was (1) my mom was emotionally distant; (2) strict and demanding and (3) my dad was absent. before i met my ex, i was looking for daddy--someone who would protect me, support me emotionally, give me the love i craved. a lot of the time, he did that. it's just that in between, he'd attempt to kill me. that's all.

    that's my answer to your question. i'm sure there are other women on HT who've been abused by a loved one (i can think of at least one) and their answers will probably be at least a little different, based on their own experiences.
    superbia (pride), avaritia (greed), luxuria (lust), invidia (envy), gula (gluttony), ira (wrath) & acedia (sloth)--the seven deadly sins.

    "when you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people i deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly..."--meditations, marcus aurelius (make sure you read the rest of the passage, ya lazy wankers!)

    nothing humiliates like the truth.--me, in conversation w/mixedplatebroker re 3rd party, 2009-11-11, 1213

  13. #13
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    Default Re: A man beating his wife

    Quote Originally Posted by timkona View Post
    Leo is on a roll today. I am so laughing.

    Okay ladies. Here's the question that this thread is begging. What is it about mean sunsabiches that you girls just cannot resist? Bad men, no job, scars, tattoos, ex-cons, missing teeth, BO, wife-beater t-shirt, perhaps a Harley, with bald tires, and no helmet for the passenger, or even a married dude, who is cheating. What is the attraction?

    What gives? WTF is wrong with the choices you girls are making? Cuz I see hot chicks with loser MF'ers all the time. Maybe it's like moths to a flame. Can't resist.

    I mean, I'm a nice guy. Can't find a girl to save my soul.
    Leo seems like a nice dude. Is he hitched?
    Tattrat, got a chick?

    Admin, if you gotta change the thread cuz I derailed it, then please do, and I apologize.

    I agree 100%...and no, my girl and I split after 7 years...it has been a very long 6 single months.
    flickr

    An email from God:
    To: People of Earth
    From: God
    Date: 9/04/2007
    Subject: stop

    knock it off, all of you

    seriously, what the hell


    --
    God

  14. #14

    Default Re: A man beating his wife

    I had a friend in school, a Catholic lad, who took his religion and his marriage VERY seriously. I never told him that his wife came on to me big time (I passed. Graciously, of course) Eventually she tripped up and got caught and he dumped her and finally got into a good, mutually loving and respectful marriage. I know of marriages in which sharp tongued inconsiderate cruel women browbeat perfectly decent hard working husbands and I wonder why they put up with the abuse, too. The best marriage I know is a couple that met on the internet, she's a hula dancer and he's a multi talented musician.

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    Default Re: A man beating his wife

    Quote Originally Posted by cynsaligia View Post
    that's my answer to your question.
    Cyn, what you describe is classic Sociopathic behavior. Unfortunately, there are too many individuals of both genders that exhibit various degrees of that disorder. If you find yourself in one of these kinds of relationships, leave, IMMEDIATELY and take the keiki with you.
    Peace, Love, and Local Grindz

    People who form FIRM opinions with so little knowledge only pretend to be open-minded. They select their facts like food from a buffet. David R. Dow

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    Default Re: A man beating his wife

    Quote Originally Posted by matapule View Post
    Cyn, what you describe is classic Sociopathic behavior. Unfortunately, there are too many individuals of both genders that exhibit various degrees of that disorder. If you find yourself in one of these kinds of relationships, leave, IMMEDIATELY and take the keiki with you.
    While I completely agree with you, matapule, leaving is MUCH easier said than done. Cyn articulately explains why.

  17. #17
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    Default Re: A man beating his wife

    Thank you Cyn for your honest and heartfelt reply. I read every word, twice. Perhaps, in the future, I will eventually win back your respect, or my worthiness. And I certainly hope that you find the handsome prince you deserve.
    FutureNewsNetwork.com
    Energy answers are already here.

  18. #18

    Default Re: A man beating his wife

    Quote Originally Posted by timkona View Post
    What is it about mean sunsabiches that you girls just cannot resist? Bad men, no job, scars, tattoos, ex-cons, missing teeth, BO, wife-beater t-shirt, perhaps a Harley, with bald tires, and no helmet for the passenger, or even a married dude, who is cheating. What is the attraction?.
    It is not that abusers are limited to bad, jobless, scarred & tattooed, toothless, stinky Harley riders.
    Abusers can also be a doctor, lawyer, teacher, police officer, actor, sports figure .... abusers come from all walks of life. The issue of why a woman stays with an abuser has more to do with the WOMAN than the man.
    Now run along and play, but donít get into trouble.

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    Smile Re: A husband appreciating his wife, and vice versa.

    Quote Originally Posted by timkona View Post
    And I certainly hope that you find the handsome prince you deserve.
    I think most of us have earned, through abuse, misunderstandings and sacrifices, that handsome prince or princess we 'deserve.'

    I've learned the hard way: crowns break, jewels lose their glitter, and handsome or pretty is only skin deep and doesn't show an abusive or selfish personality.

    I can't say I've 'settled' for an equal partnership and mutual understanding, I worked for it. I nurtured it. And it has worked out better than any imagined royal could ever be.

    If respect isn't mutual respect, then there is no respect.
    Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken!
    ~ ~
    Kaʻonohiʻulaʻokahōkūmiomioʻehiku
    Spreading the virus of ALOHA.
    Oh Chu. If only you could have seen what I've seen, with your eyes.

  20. #20
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    Default Re: A man beating his wife

    Quote Originally Posted by timkona View Post
    Thank you Cyn for your honest and heartfelt reply.
    you're welcome.

    Quote Originally Posted by timkona View Post
    And I certainly hope that you find the handsome prince you deserve.
    already did. mixedplatebroker and i are six years strong in june.

    Quote Originally Posted by Amati View Post
    It is not that abusers are limited to bad, jobless, scarred & tattooed, toothless, stinky Harley riders.
    Abusers can also be a doctor, lawyer, teacher, police officer, actor, sports figure .... abusers come from all walks of life.
    agreed.

    Quote Originally Posted by Amati View Post
    The issue of why a woman stays with an abuser has more to do with the WOMAN than the man.
    i wouldn't put it this simply.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaonohi View Post
    If respect isn't mutual respect, then there is no respect.
    damned skippy.
    superbia (pride), avaritia (greed), luxuria (lust), invidia (envy), gula (gluttony), ira (wrath) & acedia (sloth)--the seven deadly sins.

    "when you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people i deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly..."--meditations, marcus aurelius (make sure you read the rest of the passage, ya lazy wankers!)

    nothing humiliates like the truth.--me, in conversation w/mixedplatebroker re 3rd party, 2009-11-11, 1213

  21. #21

    Default Re: A man beating his wife

    This thread is a keeper. I'm too tired out to comment much on it (it's Northwest Folklife Festival weekend in Seattle, and I'm performing in three bands, on top of my regular work hours early Friday & Saturday morning), but I want to note a couple things.

    cynsaligia's post is something everyone should read, regardless of gender, at least twice, as timkona did. Don't look at it with a jaundiced or judgmental eye; just read the words exactly as she wrote them, and don't try to redefine them by your own experience. It's not often that we get the benefit of such a painfully-learned lesson, with such clarity.

    Yes, I am "taken." This weekend, the AFK (Alpha Female from Kane`ohe) and I celebrate 14 years together, still unmarried. This relationship has lasted longer than both of my marriages combined. Respect, honesty and communication are cornerstones to our success; ongoing lust for each other comes into the equation somewhere.

    It took a long time to find this stability, this abiding happiness, this love. A story of personal growth, deep soul-searching, hitting rock bottom and having all my values utterly shattered so I could reconstruct them anew, or toss them aside. Oprah would weep, and book me for a week's worth of shows - but it's not a story that would apply to anyone else's world.

  22. #22
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    Default Re: A man beating his wife

    Quote Originally Posted by TATTRAT View Post
    I agree 100%...and no, my girl and I split after 7 years...it has been a very long 6 single months.
    Tatt, forgive me for my forwardness with this reply but I seriously wish for you a loving, lasting relationship AFTER you can say "it has been a wonderful, insightful, learning, growing, 6 months of being single". Make that 12 months! Learn to love spending time with yourself. But don't learn from me 'cuz I took it to an extreme!

  23. #23
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    Default Re: A man beating his wife

    A bit of advice here Tatt. Easier said than done but try to bounce back feller and get on with your life.

  24. #24

    Default Re: A man beating his wife

    Quote Originally Posted by cynsaligia View Post
    so how do you stop this problem? i think in many cases, it starts with parenting. part of my deal was (1) my mom was emotionally distant; (2) strict and demanding and (3) my dad was absent. before i met my ex, i was looking for daddy--someone who would protect me, support me emotionally, give me the love i craved. a lot of the time, he did that. it's just that in between, he'd attempt to kill me. that's all.
    Very useful insights you offer. It is so important for parents to raise their children with a healthy sense of self-esteem. Without this simple but vital quality, children can grow up to become adults who are caught up in a cycle of dysfunctional relationships, whether they are on the giving or receiving end of physical/emotional abuse.
    This post may contain an opinion that may conflict with your opinion. Do not take it personal. Polite discussion of difference of opinion is welcome.

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