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  • Cell phone etiquette (or not)

    Spouse and I don't carry cell phones. We're not Luddites; we just think the hassles outweigh the putative benefits. We have too many bad Navy memories of them, too many dead zones on Oahu, one more piece of gear to care for, and not enough perceived value to the expense.

    Up until now it's been a personal choice, but society appears to be imposing its new behavior upon our standards. We may end up getting cell phones just to be able to avoid cope with what seems to be new etiquette.

    Here are some new examples we've noted over the last year or so:
    - Who's calling, please, how come your name's not on my caller ID? Whaddya mean, you don't have caller ID?!?
    - Hi, it's me. Whaddya mean "who", check your caller ID. What, you don't have caller ID?!?
    - You know my number, it's on your caller ID. What, you don't have caller ID?!? Hang on a minute, let me try to figure out my number. Can I just call you back?

    - I'm calling you from your driveway to let you know that I'm here. But you saw me pull in and you'd already started for the front door, so now you can go back to the kitchen to pick up your (landline) phone to learn it's me calling from your driveway, and then you can come back to the front door again. It's a new game called "duck in a shooting gallery".

    - I'm not going to leave a coherent message. Just call me back at my long-distance cell phone number. Whaddya mean you don't have free long distance?!?

    - Don't tell me your address, just text it to me and I'll look up the driving directions on Google maps. That way I don't have to listen to you reading me your address or even remember what you're telling me.

    - Can I borrow your phone? I can't find mine and I need to call it. Gee, I hope I left its ringer turned on.

    - Excuse me, my battery just died, what time is it please? Well, duh, I can see you're not wearing a watch, but why don't you check your cell phone? Whaddya mean you don't carry a cell phone?!?

    - I don't have a plan for our upcoming socializing, so I'll just call you when we're finally on the road. You should wait there by your landline until I'm ready for you.
    - Oh, just call me when you're 10 minutes away and I'll dash over there to meet you. No, why would I know if there's a pay phone near there?
    - I know you've been waiting for an hour, but I called when I was supposed to be here to tell you I'd be late and you didn't pick up. What do you mean, you don't carry a cell phone?!?

    - You're not important enough for me to spend my time at home or at work talking to you on the phone, but when I'm on a long & boring drive then I'll call you to relieve my tedium.

    - I don't want to talk to your voicemail, so I'm going to call you over and over again until you pick up. What do you mean, your family shares this landline and your ringer is turned on?!? Can't you get your company (or your parents) to buy you your own phone?

    - This movie is boring, so I'm going to play with my (lighted) cell phone and brighten the lives of my fellow audience members. Oh, and check out my new ring tone!
    - Well, this conversation is boring and I don't want to make eye contact with you, so I'm going to play with my cell phone and find something more interesting to occupy my attention.

    - Oh, I didn't want to talk to you, I just accidentally hit redial.
    - Oh, I'm not talking to you, I just sat on my phone and it redialed.* So I guess it's actually my butt that's calling you.

    - I know I'm in the middle of paying the cashier, but my cell phone just rang. Hang on; you'll enjoy hearing this conversation.
    - I know we're driving and the light just turned green, but my cell phone is ringing.
    - I don't need a grocery list! I'll just call you when I can't remember what I'm supposed to buy.

    - I know I'm in the middle of a meeting, but my cell phone just rang.
    - I know I'm talking to you, but my cell phone just rang.
    - I know I called this meeting and I'm in the middle of lecturing talking to all of you, but my cell phone just rang.

    - "Hello there, it's 11 PM and we don't know each other, but someone accidentally left their cell phone here and your phone number is the last call they made. Can you tell me who it is? Whaddya mean, you don't have caller ID?!? If you remember who they are, could you call them for me and tell them they left their phone here? Oh, right, I guess this cell phone is the only number you have for them, haha, sure. Well, have a good night!"

    - People used to think I was nuts when I wandered around talking out loud, but now when I stick this thing in my ear everyone thinks I'm having a phone conversation! I didn't even put batteries in it!

    - I'm too busy doing other things on my cell phone to bother using it for phone calls. Besides, nobody calls anybody anymore-- we just send texts.
    - I can't handle a call plan that only allows 200 text messages a month. Why, just arranging our last meeting took over 50 of them!

    - 21st-century disclaimer: The iPhone's default e-mail signature of "Sent from my iPhone" absolves me of all responsibility for spelling, grammar, and punctuation.

    - And finally, people's reactions to their cell phones ringing during "intimate moments". Let's just not go there.

    *This did lead to a very entertaining Bangkok evening with shipmates gathered around a cell phone speaker when a guy (on independent operations at a bar) didn't realize that his butt had called us to livecast his bar girl pickup techniques...
    Youth may be wasted on the young, but retirement is wasted on the old.
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    We grow old if we stop playing, but it's never too late to have a happy childhood.
    Forget about who you were-- discover who you are.

  • #2
    Re: Cell phone etiquette (or not)

    I don't do cell phones. Too expensive and not worth the bother.

    I hate being called when I am away from home or office.

    I don't like paying for incoming calls from anyone. I don't want minutes/quotas being taken up by telemarketers, wrong numbers or spam text messages.

    I hate the whole concept of always having to pay for x amount of minutes per month.

    I hate people who live in the same city as me but use cell phones that require a long distance call. I never call them.

    I don't have caller ID on my landline and I am fine with it. I don't call anyone that requires me to preface my call with *82.

    I long ago blocked caller ID when the phone company first offered that option.

    I never drive using a cell phone because I never owned one! The new cell phone laws do not adversely effect me.
    I'm still here. Are you?

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    • #3
      Re: Cell phone etiquette (or not)

      We have one cell phone (simple prepay type, so simple a caveman can use it) that my husband carries. I only carry it when I have to travel off island.

      No one knows our cell phone number. We carry it only for emergencies... or when we want to order pizza.

      We don't have caller ID on my landline.

      At work, I've often had to stay on the line for ten minutes or more, helping callers find my office: "So, I'm at the corner of ----. Do I turn or go straight? OK, now there's a cemetery on my right, am I on the right street? OK, I'm at your building... I'm in your parking lot... I'm walking down the hall... here I am, ta daaaa!" Yes, that actually happens.

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      • #4
        Re: Cell phone etiquette (or not)

        Originally posted by mel View Post
        [...]
        I don't like paying for incoming calls from anyone. I don't want minutes/quotas being taken up by telemarketers, wrong numbers or spam text messages.

        I hate the whole concept of always having to pay for x amount of minutes per month.[...]
        Mel, this isn't aimed at you because I know your life works just fine without a cell phone. This is just an FYI for all HTers...

        There are now unlimited cell phone plans so the dislikes you list above are no longer a monetary issue with the right plan. I don't think I've received any telemarketer calls or spam text messages on my cell. My cell enabled me to get rid of the expense of my bundled HawTel service at Makaha thereby saving money. I replaced DSL with mobile broadband and the combo of unlimited cell minutes, free long distance and mobile broadband is still cheaper than the HawTel bundle. I rarely text but unlimited texting is also included in my cell plan as is web browsing...altho' I don't have a smart phone because I'm not interested, yet, in that capability. But it's available, should I change my mind, without a rate increase.

        The downside to dropping my landline at Makaha? Arriving there and realizing I left my cell phone and mobile broadband modem on my desk in town!!! Had to head right back into town. And on that trip back my car started acting up. I had no cell and felt extremely vulnerable. Lesson learned! Oh, and mobile broadband isn't anywhere near as good as DSL but it's adequate for my needs at Makaha, when house sitting and when spending the day in my mechanic's waiting room!

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        • #5
          Re: Cell phone etiquette (or not)

          I’ve never owned a cell phone. I just never wanted to be bothered (literally and figureatively). In the past, I used to even disconnect my landline during vacations, and sometimes even on weekends (letting people know that it would be very difficult to reach me, of course). I actually have a mini phobia about phones. Whenever I hear one ring, it fills me with dread. That’s true when at work, and even more so at home.

          However, I do see the convenience of having a cell phone for certain occasions, like having one in your car for roadside emergencies, or when you go hiking. So I’ve been thinking of finally giving in and getting one, but I would only want one for making calls, not receiving calls. That begs the question: do I drop my landline?

          And I don’t have caller ID. Then again, maybe that’s why a ringing phone fills me with dread.

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          • #6
            Re: Cell phone etiquette (or not)

            I started carrying a cell regularly when I was self- and un-employed, so potential employers could reach me at any (reasonable) time. I still carry it because I am rarely in my office - usually in a studio instead, so it's a better way to reach me directly.

            It's only turned on when I am away from home: during the workday, in transit to/from work (walking or on the bus, NOT driving), anticipating making connections with the Alpha Female, visiting friends, etc. That's it. At home, it's off and placed on a shelf. At concerts, out for dinner, etc., it's with me but off. We still have our landline at home.

            I have a daughter who lives 2000 miles away, and is expecting; it's nice to know she can reach me, if she needs to. When it's on, it's ALWAYS on vibrate, never an audible ring (think about it - I'm in a radio/recording studio...) It's a nice tool to have now, but I'm not "important" enough for it to be a critical item. Even though it's on during the day, I get maybe one call a week, and maybe make one or two a week.

            My phone doesn't do photos. I can probably download ringtones, but since I prefer "vibrate," it doesn't matter. I can't browse the web with it. I guess it's what Alton Brown would call a "uni-tasker."

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            • #7
              Re: Cell phone etiquette (or not)

              More of a safety tip rather than etiquette, but,.....

              If you have a child in school who brings his/her cell phone and they call you to call the office during a school lockdown to find out what is going on, don't call unless it is absolutely necessary.

              School offices aren't telemarketing centers. Most only have 1 or 2 outside lines. A bunch of parents calling the school merely out of curiosity could end up tying up the phone lines and preventing an important call from coming through, like the police or fire dept.
              This post may contain an opinion that may conflict with your opinion. Do not take it personal. Polite discussion of difference of opinion is welcome.

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              • #8
                Re: Cell phone etiquette (or not)

                My cell phone allows me to be employed, but not have to be sitting in an office all day. My cell phone is a tool that allows me to work, but still make all of my children's school events, attend all of their performances, and attend their after school sports competitions. My boss knows that I am just a phone call away, and that if really needed I can be easily reached. For me, my cell phone allows me the freedom to be a great employee while at the same time be a great parent.

                And before someone asks, I keep my ringer on "vibrate" so as to not disturb others during performances, etc. And, if I need to talk, I quietly ask the caller to "hold on a minute" and I leave the populated area, going to where I can talk without disturbing others. Matter of fact, sometimes I simply answer the phone by connecting to the call and not saying a word, and then walk outside, before I ever even say "hello".

                My cell phone is not evil. My kids love that I can be working but am just a call away. My boss likes that I can take time away from my desk but am still available if needed. Win-Win for me.
                Now run along and play, but don’t get into trouble.

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                • #9
                  Re: Cell phone etiquette (or not)

                  I resisted getting a cell phone for a long time, but when I started traveling a lot I finally caved, because trying to find a pay phone in a strange city during an emergency is too stressful. Since I live alone, there's no point paying two phone bills, so the cell phone became my primary phone. I kept my Ohio phone number when I moved to Hawaii so that my mom, who doesn't have free long distance, would still be able to call me.

                  However, I do have certain rules about cell phone use. I'm an iPhone geek, and I love my various apps, but I won't play with my phone when I'm supposed to be spending time with other people unless they too are also playing with their phones. I won't take calls when I'm with someone else unless it's important, and I don't like to talk on the phone around other people, such as at the bus stop. And I definitely don't talk on the phone in the bathroom, that's just gross.
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                  • #10
                    Re: Cell phone etiquette (or not)

                    Originally posted by tutusue View Post
                    There are now unlimited cell phone plans so the dislikes you list above are no longer a monetary issue with the right plan.!
                    None of the plans I have ever seen were not somehow connected to minutes, and definitely all are tied to a contract of some sort and more expensive than just a basic landline where you don't ever have to think about minutes, quotas, contracts or whatever for a local call.
                    I'm still here. Are you?

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                    • #11
                      Re: Cell phone etiquette (or not)

                      i know a lot of people don't like it when others talk on their cell phones in public. that doesn't really bother me... i can usually tune it out, unless they are talking too loud.

                      what bugs me is when i am helping a client in my workplace, and they insist on taking a call. i don't mind if they just want to check who it is, or if it's short, but many will conduct a lengthy business call and expect me to wait. sometimes, i just sit there and stare at them the whole time, and other times i will walk away. i've also interrupted a couple of people, told them to leave and come back when they're ready, since there are others waiting that require my service.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Cell phone etiquette (or not)

                        Originally posted by mel View Post
                        None of the plans I have ever seen were not somehow connected to minutes, and definitely all are tied to a contract of some sort and more expensive than just a basic landline where you don't ever have to think about minutes, quotas, contracts or whatever for a local call.
                        I saw a commercial last nite for Verizon that showed a nationwide, unlimited talk plan for $69.99. Since i'm already on a similar plan with AT&T, I didn't check it out but others might want to.
                        "Democracy is the only system that persists in asking the powers that be whether they are the powers that ought to be."
                        – Sydney J. Harris

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                        • #13
                          Re: Cell phone etiquette (or not)

                          Originally posted by anapuni808 View Post
                          I saw a commercial last nite for Verizon that showed a nationwide, unlimited talk plan for $69.99. Since i'm already on a similar plan with AT&T, I didn't check it out but others might want to.
                          AT&T just came out with a new plan a few days ago. Unlimited minutes, texting, email, and web use. My husband is going to put us on that one- I just asked him about it to verify the details. He uses his phone as his work phone also, so he eats up minutes like crazy, and we have a friend who is also on our plan.

                          I've had a cell phone for almost 10 years. I talk on mine in public. I do not speak loudly by nature, and I do try to keep my voice down so as not to bother others. But I see nothing wrong with talking to a friend or my parents when doing various things such as sitting in the common outside area between classes, waiting for a flight in the airport (I sit away from others on purpose), or sitting outside a CVS in my car while I'm waiting on an Rx. I get on the internet all the time while waiting at the doctor's office or someplace else where speaking is not appropriate, but never at the movies or church, etc.

                          I hate not having my phone on me. There have been countless times when I have used it in emergencies (such as getting a flat in the middle of the night and not having a spare- which was not my fault, BTW), and yes, used it for directions. I would have never found anything on Oahu without it! But I won't answer calls when I'm with people. That is the height of rudeness.

                          Can't think of anything creative this time

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                          • #14
                            Re: Cell phone etiquette (or not)

                            Originally posted by anapuni808 View Post
                            I saw a commercial last nite for Verizon that showed a nationwide, unlimited talk plan for $69.99.[...]
                            In addition, Boost has an unlimited plan for $50.

                            Back on the etiquette topic...close to 20 years ago when cell phones were still fairly new, not to mention big and clunky, I was in a real estate seminar when an attendee's phone rang. He was in the front row directly in front of the teacher. The idiot actually answered it and proceeded to talk while the teacher was talking. After a few seconds, teacher stopped and stared at the guy...as did the rest of the attendees. Idiot didn't even notice so teacher, at the top of his lungs, ordered idiot out of the room. Idiot exited via the back of the room, talking the entire time. When he finished his call he took his seat like nothing happened. Teacher asked him to leave. We all cheered!

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                            • #15
                              Re: Cell phone etiquette (or not)

                              Originally posted by anapuni808 View Post
                              I saw a commercial last nite for Verizon that showed a nationwide, unlimited talk plan for $69.99. Since i'm already on a similar plan with AT&T, I didn't check it out but others might want to.
                              Originally posted by tutusue
                              In addition, Boost has an unlimited plan for $50.
                              My landline is $14.40 for the basic charges and with the nasty taxes and fees added it is $26.72, which is still way less than the $50 quoted above.

                              Plus I don't need the mobility, don't get many calls, don't like being bothered when I am away from my primary phone and don't like the possibility that someday all mobile phones (if they don't all have em) will be able to track your location via GPS.

                              Surely the landline is anchored to one address, but when I roam around my community I don't have a GPS tracking where I am going. My car is old so I don't have that in it either.
                              I'm still here. Are you?

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