Local Jokes

[Serenity]

Re: Local Jokes

Das rite. I try keep him in line, but he stay outa control. He no can stand dat somebody else get da same ideas dat he get.

Us two been beefin' foah yeahs now. So no worry, yeah.

Okey, Den, Lurkah & Mokihana.
I unduh stand. no worries.
I guess it's ok, if you like
eat 'em rare wit da toss salad.

ALoha.

[Mokihana]

Re: Local Jokes

yah, oni good fun...

[Serenity]

Re: Local Jokes

Wow brah, you run one real tight ship eh? Does there have to be a "done" or "pau" for a thread like Local Jokes? Leave da thread open. I can take one hint. Sayonara, a hui hou.

Yeah, I wit you, Lurkah, leave da thread open.
please.......

[pzarquon]

Re: Local Jokes

Aue, where's da jokes?

Thebulacans wen' post one link to da kine "e-Hawaii Local Kine Jokes." (Check out how dey say, "Be forewarned... content may be slightly offensive... laugh at your own risk.") Get some oldies but goodies ovah dea, but I know there's plenty kine jokes on top dat, and probably mo' funny, too.

I'm tryin' fo' remembah the las' time I wen' see da kine Andy Bumatai...

[Kilinahe]

Re: Local Jokes

It was at your Christmas party fo' work last year, yeah?

(yes, I'm trying to type in pidgin. Please don't laugh)

[Mokihana]

Re: Local Jokes

i love dis one:

Moki’s Law: Never talk to haoles in pidgin, they may try to answer back.

[Krash Kolohe]

Re: Local Jokes

I tink one haole learning how fo' speak pidgin is called

one.....training brah !

[Mokihana]

Re: Local Jokes

I tink one haole learning how fo' speak pidgin is called

one.....training brah !

oh good wun, brah... nice to spock yoah maka ovah dis sai of da island...

no can hide yoah real ID in heah, brah. No can hide dat kaulana sense of humah! I wen spock u right away.

[aleno]

Re: Local Jokes

Aue, where's da jokes?

Thebulacans wen' post one link to da kine "e-Hawaii Local Kine Jokes." (Check out how dey say, "Be forewarned... content may be slightly offensive... laugh at your own risk.") Get some oldies but goodies ovah dea, but I know there's plenty kine jokes on top dat, and probably mo' funny, too.

I'm tryin' fo' remembah the las' time I wen' see da kine Andy Bumatai...

This was too funny. I scored 170 on the filipino quiz. Say I have obvious tendencies. I laughed so hard. I would have gotten more points but I wasn't concentrating. I'll do the quiz over tomorrow and see what I score.

I enjoyed the jokes. Brought back memories and funny how I get the punch lines even for the fact I been away from Hawaii for so long.

Thanks Pzar.

[Mokihana]

Re: Local Jokes

weah stay da pilipino quiz?

[aleno]

Re: Local Jokes

weah stay da pilipino quiz?

Stay under Are you really filipino?

My son asked me questions and he graded me after. If I had read it myself I would have gotten a higher score....hahahaha.
Every time my son didn't understand the meaning, I had to stop and explain. Brought back so much memories.

I bet anybody who lived around filipinos going score high.

[adrian]

Re: Local Jokes

Stay under Are you really filipino?

My son asked me questions and he graded me after. If I had read it myself I would have gotten a higher score....hahahaha.
Every time my son didn't understand the meaning, I had to stop and explain. Brought back so much memories.

I bet anybody who lived around filipinos going score high.

I just took that test (had to use MS Excel to log the numbers and total it up) and I got a 72, meaning that I have Obvious Filipino Tendencies.

Being that I was born and raised by a filipino family, I learned a lot of things from them, and when I did the test, I remembered a lot of them.

[Mokihana]

Re: Local Jokes

I get Flip tendencies jass cuz I wen grow up in da ‘āina. Guilt by association I guess...

[Serenity]

Re: Local Jokes

I am not sure about "local joke", but this one is really funny....
It goes something like this....

One day, an old lady buys a parrot to keep her company, but to her shock, all the bird ever says, day & night, is " My name is Bella & I like to f--k!" Upset,the woman decides to return Bella, but is met on her way to the pet store by her priest,
to whom she explains her bad luck.
"Don't worry," the priest says, "I have 3 parrots at home
& I've trained them so that all they do is pray. Let me take Bella home
& they'll make her a good parrot".
The widow agrees & the priest leaves with Bella. When he gets home, he tells his parrots, "This is bella. She is very bad & you must teach her to be good." With that bella shouts.
"My name is Bella & I like to F--k!"
The priest's parrots look at each other & one says, " I told you if we prayed long enough..."

That one was by... Mark Souza, Laurel,MD.

Hope you all like that one. I thought it was pretty funny.

Aloha & Take Care.

[Krash Kolohe]

Re: Local Jokes

Aunty Quinkah's old dog was not breathin' one morning so she quickly rushed him to da filopino vet down Lihue side.

Da vet put the dog on top the table and listen for heart beat. Nuttin.

He open da eyelids for check for anykine sign of life. Nuttin.

He open da mout and pull out da tongue for sign of life. Nuttin.

Finally, he went in da uddah room and came back with one box. He put da
box on da floor and took out a large cat.

He put the cat on the table where the dog was lying. The cat sniffed the dog and walked on the dog from it's head to it's tail. Nuttin.

He put the cat back in the box and came outsai the room to Aunty.

"Ai Sus" Doctor Balut says. "...I tink so your dog is dead. There is nothing I can do for him."

With that he hands her a bill.

Aunty puts on her reading glasses and is floored by what she sees: "Eh..Doctah.. it sez hea I owe you $125. How come?"

"Oh," the vet sez, "it's $25 for da office visit."

"...what is the $100 charge for?" Aunty demands.

"..oh dat...yeah...das for daaah cat scan" he replies.