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Where Did All The Nice People Go?

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  • Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

    Originally posted by cynsaligia View Post
    honestly, i'm ambivalent about this whole "being nice" thing. in a lot of ways, it's a good thing. but a--perhaps unintended--result is that certain ones of the not-nice people are now being sneakily not nice: you go an post an opinion about something; someone else posts an opposing opinion that contains thinly-veiled sneering at you; you call them on it and they plead innocence with the sincerity of a weasel.
    you like when they give the old "conditional" apology like I'm sorry IF I offended you?

    and I agree with you - I'll speak my mind & own my words when I post publicly. and when I post privately, I expect the recipients to respect that I gave THEM enough respect to do so and for the messages to remain private. That doesn't always happen on here (and you folks know who you are ) I always strive for kindness in my words, and truth. I don't like to dis-respect a person's thoughts and opinions and there are ways to disagree without doing so. and WHEN I offend someone, I'll be the first to step & apologize for their hurt feelings. Once something is said/written, you can't really take it back but you can be sorry for causing harm/hurt to another.
    Last edited by anapuni808; June 23, 2009, 02:08 PM.
    "Democracy is the only system that persists in asking the powers that be whether they are the powers that ought to be."
    – Sydney J. Harris

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    • Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

      Originally posted by anapuni808 View Post
      I don't like to dis-respect a person's thoughts and opinions and there are ways to disagree without doing so. and WHEN I offend someone, I'll be the first to step & apologize for their hurt feelings. Once something is said/written, you can't really take it back but you can be sorry for causing harm/hurt to another.
      A followup to that is that communication via an internet board is tougher to maintain than in person. Far too often, the message received veers from the message intended, and some people move to defensive mode too quickly, without giving room for another party to clarify - thus escalating the heat level of the "conversation" beyond repair.

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      • Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

        Originally posted by Leo Lakio View Post
        A followup to that is that communication via an internet board is tougher to maintain than in person. Far too often, the message received veers from the message intended, and some people move to defensive mode too quickly, without giving room for another party to clarify - thus escalating the heat level of the "conversation" beyond repair.
        The lag time makes a difference, too. Often, if you get a message you interpret as offensive it's easy to jump to the defense, but then you wait: will the response be more offense or an apology? The gears grind, you digest the interchange, sometimes even feel MORE offended! (How could that so-and-so [who doesn't even know me] be such an obnoxious idiot! And you get ready for round two - during which time they strengthen their case to put you down, think up new twists and turns, and the war goes on....

        Nice people revert to defensive or offensive mode.
        That's where all the nice people go.

        When it's just so easy to say,

        "Well, you are certainly entitled to your opinion you dumb asshole, and so am I, so BUG OFF!"



        But we're not that evolved yet.

        K.
        Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken!
        ~ ~
        Kaʻonohiʻulaʻokahōkūmiomioʻehiku
        Spreading the virus of ALOHA.
        Oh Chu. If only you could have seen what I've seen, with your eyes.

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        • Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

          Originally posted by Kaonohi View Post
          Nice people revert to defensive or offensive mode.
          That's where all the nice people go.
          That's a good way to think of it, K; they don't go anywhere, they just react badly - but they're still here.

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          • Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

            Originally posted by Peshkwe View Post
            The latter is really hard to pull off for any length of time since the 'play acted' character has to be fully developed in order to be convincing.
            It's easy to check up on a new humbug poster by clicking on their All posts by poster. If the poster has all of his/her angry posts on one thread. It's a red flag when they have little or no posts on other threads. And if that poster does post on another thread, there's a hint of an agenda.

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            • Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

              Originally posted by anapuni808 View Post
              you like when they give the old "conditional" apology like I'm sorry IF I offended you?

              yep. that's the lamest, most insincere attempt at a show of regret while hanging on, gnarly fingered and defiant, to one's ego.
              superbia (pride), avaritia (greed), luxuria (lust), invidia (envy), gula (gluttony), ira (wrath) & acedia (sloth)--the seven deadly sins.

              "when you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people i deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly..."--meditations, marcus aurelius (make sure you read the rest of the passage, ya lazy wankers!)

              nothing humiliates like the truth.--me, in conversation w/mixedplatebroker re 3rd party, 2009-11-11, 1213

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              • Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

                Originally posted by anapuni808 View Post
                and when I post privately, I expect the recipients to respect that I gave THEM enough respect to do so and for the messages to remain private. That doesn't always happen on here
                Unfortunately, you are right. The idea of private messages remaining private as a matter of common courtesy/basic netiquette cannot be taken for granted anymore.

                Originally posted by Walkoff Balk View Post
                It's easy to check up on a new humbug poster by clicking on their All posts by poster. If the poster has all of his/her angry posts on one thread. It's a red flag when they have little or no posts on other threads. And if that poster does post on another thread, there's a hint of an agenda.
                True. Another indication I find telling about a poster's history is when that person has a tendency to involve themselves in conflicts on threads where they made no contribution to the original topic/discussion. It's like they fancy themselves as either an online Judge Judy or as Statler and Waldorf (the two old Muppet Show characters who reveled in making commentary about others from the balcony but never involved themselves in what was happening on the stage.)
                This post may contain an opinion that may conflict with your opinion. Do not take it personal. Polite discussion of difference of opinion is welcome.

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                • Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

                  "...as Statler and Waldorf (the two old Muppet Show characters who reveled in making commentary about others from the balcony but never involved themselves in what was happening on the stage"

                  For whatever it's worth, (despite their lack of positive contributions to the well being of their community), those two were the best part of an overall great show!

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                  • Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

                    I try to be as nice as I can. Then I stay behind the gate and hope for the best!

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                    • Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

                      to anyone who is familiar with the Star Wars character, Yoda - you will understand that there is no such thing as "trying". We either are nice or we are not. Leashlaws - I have always thought you were one of the nice ones. I've never seen you be rude or unkind in your postings and you don't engage in what I call "last word-itis" as so many on here do. Sometimes, the smell of testosterone coming off my monitor screen is just too much!
                      "Democracy is the only system that persists in asking the powers that be whether they are the powers that ought to be."
                      – Sydney J. Harris

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                      • Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

                        "Nice" is a 4 letter word...

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                        • Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

                          Originally posted by Frankie's Market View Post
                          ... Statler and Waldorf (the two old Muppet Show characters who reveled in making commentary about others from the balcony but never involved themselves in what was happening on the stage.)
                          Not true. Watch the Milton Berle episode; they heckled (and interacted with) him.

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                          • Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

                            Originally posted by anapuni808 View Post
                            to anyone who is familiar with the Star Wars character, Yoda - you will understand that there is no such thing as "trying". We either are nice or we are not.
                            Oh, dear. I guess I've been fooling myself. I wanted to be in the "nice" category, but my behavior at times has certainly placed me in the "not" camp. Is that permanent? Well, at least it seems to be popular to be over here...

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                            • Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

                              Originally posted by Leo Lakio View Post
                              Not true. Watch the Milton Berle episode; they heckled (and interacted with) him.
                              Is it true about Uncle Milty's legendary large member(I don't mean the jacket)? Anyone has hands on knowledge(no pun intended)of this story?
                              It's hurts when I read this. Then, don't read this. That's old skool comedy.

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                              • Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

                                Originally posted by Leo Lakio View Post
                                Oh, dear. I guess I've been fooling myself. I wanted to be in the "nice" category, but my behavior at times has certainly placed me in the "not" camp. Is that permanent? Well, at least it seems to be popular to be over here...

                                Leo you're not fooling yerself...you just one of Popeye's little sweet 'taters.

                                Originally posted by Popeye
                                I yam what I yam.

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