Where Did All The Nice People Go?

[turtlegirl]

Seriously!!! What's going on around this forum lately? It seems like most of the nice folks are consistantly being run off or badgered into a lurkers' existence because of a handful of mean, bitter s.o.b.'s who nitpick and naysay, criticize and attack, and generally bring their negativity and aggression/intimidation to so many threads. This site is way less interesting because of these 'children'.

Enough, I say!! Nice people unite!! Don't be scared off! Come back!!

[Leo Lakio]

Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

It happens from time to time, TG. You get some nasty back-and-forth between folks that spills from thread to thread (and I'm guilty of it as well), but either it cools down after a time, or after people decide the "ignore" function can help them relax, or if a troll (no names stated or implied here) decides to move on, or if admin has to step in and take action.

Some of the folks to which you refer have left altogether, others lurk - just as you noted. Just keep posting in your own way, and if folks find something meaningful to add, they probably will. But it's nice of you to encourage them to return! (The old-time HT-ers would say that you earned a green chiclet.)

[Mike_Lowery]

Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

most of the nice people on this planet are not online

[Leo Lakio]

Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

See, TG? It worked! You got Mike.

[salmoned]

Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

Just when you think all is going well, a mean-spirited thread like this one goes up!

[TATTRAT]

Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

meh, its just the web...

[MyopicJoe]

Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

Heya TG! Sorry for "bailing" on you folks.

If I would hazard a guess, I'd say Twitter is one reason why some people are disappearing from HT. I wasn't scared away from HT, but rather Twitter was more attractive (addictive).

People on Twitter tend to be nicer because you choose who you socialize with. You listen only to the people you want to listen to. You can block specific people from reading your Tweets. I think HT has an ignore feature, which is easy enough to use, except it's off by default; while its virtual counterpart on Twitter is on by default. Small little details like that can make a big difference. I'm not saying HT should have ignores on by default (it'd be a bad idea), but perhaps people should ignore more often.

Another reason why people are nicer on Twitter is they end up meeting each other face to face, sooner or later (facilitating spontaneous meetups is one of Twitter's strengths). It's amazing how civil people are when there's the possibility of getting punched in the face. Not to mention the fear of your personal reputation being tarnished.

And finally, the 140 character limit helps supress flaming. I mean flaming is alive and well on Twitter, but the less you say, the less there is for people to flame you about. You could have an excellently written 3 page post on something, but the forums trolls will be all over your one poorly worded sentence. And forum trolls LOVE to hear their own voice. A 140 character limit takes the fun out of it.

I'm not saying Twitter is better than HT. Forums are still the best place to have an in depth discussion about something. It's just Twitter is more addictive and fun, at least at the moment. Before Twitter, I would read/post to threads which were just mildly interesting, just to have something to do. Now I lurk mostly, and post only on threads which catch my eye.

Of course I can't speak for everyone who's become less active on HT.

[TATTRAT]

Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

MJ, feel free to add me to your twitter if you like!

[MyopicJoe]

Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

I assume you're "tattrat" on Twitter? I'm MyopicJoe :_)

[TATTRAT]

Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

you have assumed correctly!

[admin]

Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

It happens from time to time, TG. You get some nasty back-and-forth between folks that spills from thread to thread (and I'm guilty of it as well), but either it cools down after a time, or after people decide the "ignore" function can help them relax, or if a troll (no names stated or implied here) decides to move on, or if admin has to step in and take action.

I've recently given some free, round-trip (for now) tickets from HT to beautiful Timeoutsville, Tenn., and won't hesitate to issue more fabulous HT vacations if it comes to that. I agree these rashes of ill temper come 'round every so often, but they -- like most rashes -- eventually pass.

As with most of these threads, I'd rather folks talk about what they want to talk about, instead of talking about the site (and what we should be talking about). So the floor is yours... have at it. Let's get back to some top-notch talkstory.

[turtlegirl]

oh, no, please don't close my 'nice' thread!

....that's not fair! You CLOSED it! It was only up for a few hours! Why would anyone close a thread that's an invitation to all the nice people? For anyone interested, I'm talking about this - Where'd all the Nice People Go. Perhaps someone has been a little hasty with the thread closures? Am I being closed just because I was posting about the HT site? Anyways, please don't censor the nice people.

No! Dont be mean! We all put up with a certain amount of meanness and annoyance in our day to day lives - so why on earth would anyone dish this $h!t out online once they're cozy at home at their computers? Do they kick their dogs too!? Just sorta kidding, but I'm not the only person who feels this way, i'm sure. But I didn't get a chance to find out...I was closed.

Nice people, rally! Come back!!

[admin]

Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

You're not being censored. After all, this thread is still here, and I think both your point and mine have been clearly made and will be archived in perpetuity. But as I've said, there's no need to set aside a thread just to cheer or complain about how nice or how mean HawaiiThreads is. (We've been there before.) If the usefulness of HawaiiThreads is important to you, I encourage you to help make things better by participating in threads about the topics you're interested in. Want better conversations? Start one!

Discussing the site itself is a circular exercise at best. If you want to provide feedback on the way HawaiiThreads is run, the best way is to contact me or any moderator directly.

Nonetheless, if anyone has thoughts on "nice people," I'll reopen this thread for now.

[turtlegirl]

Want better conversations? Start one!

Start one? Yeah. Its always just a matter of time before its overrun by snarkiness and attacks, at least it seems so lately. Come back, nice people!! Don't just read...post!

(We've been there before.)

hmmm, I wonder why this subject has been visited before.....

[LikaNui]

Re: Where Did All The Nice People Go?

It's perfectly normal for people to come and go from forums like this. Some move away from Hawaii, some find interests other than the internet or other interests on the internet (as in the Twitter comment earlier), some just get bored, some find other hobbies or get involved in sports, some have increased duties at work... there's a large number of reasons some people may not be around, and most of those reasons have nothing to do with snarkiness or attacks.
In my own case, I'd like to think that I'm one of the "nice people" (at least my cat thinks so ) but I'm currently taking some courses to get an advanced degree, so my time here has been limited.
I used to be moderator of some forums similar to this, and I created a section called The Sandbox. I'd move any snarky and attacking posts to The Sandbox, and the combatants could duke it out there, where no one else would have to read them.
In any event, there's a very low number of snarks and attacks here on HT, especially compared to snarks/attacks/flame wars that used to happen in other places on the internet.
If there's folks here whose posts bother you, just use the Ignore function. Easy.